We got roped into an interesting debate with some poker players at the Bellagio Five Diamond this week.
The question was posed: who would you rather...poker player Jennifer Tilly or new Las Vegas resident Marie Osmond.
It was a heated debate, it was. Before going further, let's say this, both have aged better than just about any 50 year old woman we've ever seen (qualifier: Osmond is a few months shy of 50).
Here were the points being made: Tilly wins on the sexy scale. Osmond has that Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island quality. Both have great bodies (Tilly's rack should've won an Academy Award), but Osmond really rounded into shape well after her stint on Dancing with the Stars. While Tilly probably is solid in the sack, Osmond has that post-divorce-ready-to-go-crazy thing working for her. Tilly got a knock for the Laak relationship, but Osmond has popped out like 7 or 8 kids (hotdog in a hallway factor).
Bottomline is nobody could make up their minds, so it has to be resolved in our comments section below.
Jon 'Apestyles' Van Fleet is showing some wicked poker chops today at the WPT Bellagio Cup IV.
In case you forgot, because there was nothing else going on that might've captivated your attention, the WPT Bellagio Cup IV is in full swing.
The money bubble just burst as Bob Stupak's Chair was KO'd in 100th place. Apparently Bob Stupak's Chair lacks the flair and wicked poker chops of Vinnie Vinh's Chair (rewatch interview with Vinnie Vinh's Chair here).
With the bubble burst, 99 remain. We hope you're sitting down or firmly holding on to something because Jennifer Tilly, a woman, is currently chip leader with 600,000.
Other notable big stacks include but are certainly not limited to Javed Abrahams (555,000), Isaac Haxton (495,000), Todd Brunson (462,000), Jon "Apestyles" Van Fleet (400,000), Ted Forrest (380,000), David "The Dragon" Pham* (370,000), Gavin Smith (280,000).
Usually gingers creep us the fuck out but Jennifer Tilly as a ginger kind of turns us on. Internally it's causing this weird dynamic where the mind is terrified but the penis has stood up and is now smiling.
Tilly's change of hair color is supposedly for a movie role. Must be a horror flick.
The 2008 World Series of Poker unofficially got underway last night as Bluff Magazine, one of the hottest cougars around Jennifer Tilly, and Phil Laak hosted its official kick-off party at Tao Nightclub.
A month after Zak Penn's The Grand stormed the box office by banking just enough to buy-in to the WPT Championship, the poker movie Deal, which stars waxy-looking golden ager Burt Reynolds and features Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth (at right) playing a Las Vegas hooker, hits movie screens tonight in select cities, and already critics are rushing to give it praise.
Just sample some of these rave reviews:
"Deal has to take the title of the worst film ever about the game and that includes the how-to videos with Joan Rivers impersonators you see in your Vegas hotel room." - Erik Childress, efilmcritic.com
"One of the most cliche-ridden and generally misguided films of not just the year, but the decade so far." - Brian Tallerico, Deadbolt.com
"Director/co-writer Gil Cates Jr. gives us a by-the-numbers execution of a by-the-numbers story, which would barely be movie-of-the-week material but for Reynolds's 'star power.'" - LA City Beat
"A poker movie that has the dubious honor of being even worse than Lucky You." - Gary Thompson (but not the Gary Thompson?), Philadelphia Daily News
In related news our highly acclaimed screenplay titled Sitting on the Can While Writing This Post just got greenlit. It's set to be filmed this morning, after our third cup of coffee kicks in. Drop us an email if you want to be an extra.
Below is a video of RawVegas.tv's Denise Pernula prettying up the red carpet at the Deal's premiere last night at the Palms in Las Vegas. Maybe it's us but it's like director Gil Cates Jr. and his producers know they made a piece of crap film. Like they were baked out of their minds when they shot it and now are trying to stop themselves from laughing as they try to talk serious about it. Also in the video, card-tossing couple Jennifer Tilly and Phil Laak talk about their non-plans ahead of the 2008 WSOP, and in news sure to delight ex-WCP reader Carl, Dancing With the Stars' lovebirds Shannon Elizabeth and Ricky SchroderDerek Hough say they are getting married in Las Vegas. Burt Reynolds unfortunately couldn't get out of the Madame Tussaud museum he lives in to walk the red carpet.
On Monday night the World Poker Tour hosted its Ceremony of Champions gala inside the O Theater at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. The event brought together all past WPT winners, presenting them with newly designed Tiffany & Co. bracelets.
Before the actual awards ceremony was a cocktail party where Gavin Smith discussed the bad beats his body has been taking lately, Phil Gordon and Howard Lederer talk about settling their WPT lawsuit and rejoining the circuit, and Jennifer Tilly sounds as if she's about to give up poker.
This last one is particularly tragic, because who is going to be there now to mentor Lacey Jones, Liz Lieu, and Michele Lewis on how to stay smoking hot while pushing 50? Or give them the fountain of youth juice she's drinking or however the hell she's doing it?
While this video doesn't totally do her justice, trust us, in person, Jennifer Tilly is perhaps the best looking 50 year-old in U.S. America. This is not to be confused, of course, with the best looking cougar in U.S. America.
But whatever fountain of youth potion she's drinking, she needs to bottle it up and sell it to the world. That way guys won't have to divorce their wives when they get older and less attractive. And we all know how divorce can impact the kids. So do it for the children, Jennifer.