We met host of The TOKE, Dave Farra, two years ago during Gavin Smith's infamous belly slapping turned porn star getting chowdered prop bet at X107.5 in Las Vegas. Since then, he's been in increasing staple of our poker vids.
This Monday, Farra's DAM Radio replaces Adam Corrolaas the new morning drive-time show on the aforementioned X107.5. If you're up at 6am on the West Coast, or the more manageable 9am on the East, be sure to tune in for the live stream here.
Pretty sure we were literally the last to register last night at the Dream Team Poker reception party, we still were able to speak with a few of the big names in attendance. Below is our first vlog from the event.
We'll be light on posts the next few days and heavy on twitters. Or tweets. Whatever.
The post lightness is due to our participation in Dream Team Poker this Saturday (and hopefully Sunday). We'll be actively updating our twitter feed you see at right during the event. We'll also have some vlogs on RawVegas.tv from the reception Friday eve and tourney Saturday.
That's all we got. Sign up to follow us on twitter here.
And below is pretty much what will be going through our heads during the entirety of the tournament. Not even remotely kidding, btw, but you probably already knew that.
The Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker are the most recent profilees on Michele Lewis' (at right) Studs of Poker feature.
While we certainly don't consider ourselves studs (except for in the looks department and in the sack), it's flattering for the recognition.
Read the full interview here.
Got our issue of Bluff Magazine in the mail today and in it is their new Poker's Power 20, a self-described "list of the most important entities and people who make the poker world go round."
The key word in that sentence must be "entities," as the Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker cracked the list at #20. Says Bluff:
"As gossip sources like TMZ and Perez Hilton have [become] more and more popular, the minds behind Wicked Chops have seamlessly brought this addictive format to the poker world. Frequently the first to scoop a story and always there to cover the major events in the poker world, WCP's dedication to poker gossip, and hot women, allow the "entities" to crack the Power 20 for the first time."
So while we bring up the rear (if we had a dime for every time...), the World Series of Poker (justifiably) clocks in at #1.
View the full list here or grab it off the news stands.
Big thanks to the ridiculous 1,519 WCP'ers who showed up last night for the Wicked Chops Reader Appreciation Freeroll.
The tourney was taken down by 24 year-old U2KILLERS. U2K (as we like to call him) is from Arlington, VA and will now be playing in the Borgata Winter Poker Open Main Event. A reader of WCP for six months (and multiple daily refresher for the past 3), U2K yelled "Ship it motherfucker!" on the final hand as he claimed top prize. We'll follow his action and keep you updated on how he does as the tournament progresses next week.
quyen815 took second and TRIPLEDRAWLOW grabbed third. Both will receive Skull Candy headphones.
Thanks to all for participating again.
Crazy sick turnout for the WCP Reader Appreciation Freeroll.
Seven Four hours 10 minutes away and we already have 650+ 950+ 1450+ registered, including pros Roy Winston and Jon "Pearljammer" Turner. UPDATE: Alex Outhred and Lacey Jones have entered as well.
The details one last time:
:: We are giving away one free seat into the Borgata Winter Poker Open Main Event (value = $3,200). Also included in the package are three free nights in a Classic room at the Borg. If you advance in the tourney, the room will of course be extended.
:: Search for the tourney under the Private tab or by entering this code: 76981094
:: Password = keeley hazell
:: Second and third place will receive Skull Candy head phones (like these).
:: If you knock out an Entity (the Entities will identify themselves at the table), you get a free Wicked Chops t-shirt.
Hopefully you score an entry into the Borgata Winter Poker Open Main Event Thursday night...
Already have 176 entered into the First Annual* WCP Reader Appreciation Freeroll for Thursday night. Good to see red pro Roy Winston in there, as well as bloggers AlCantHang and Kid Dynamite (he was required by law though). Gavin Smith, Nordberg, get off the schnide and register already.
Reposting most of the details again below:
:: We are giving away one free seat into the Borgata Winter Poker Open Main Event (value = $3,200). Also included in the package are three free nights in a Classic room at the Borg. If you advance in the tourney, the room will of course be extended. The freeroll to win the seat will be held on Full Tilt Poker this Thursday (1/22) at 9pm EST. If you don't already have an FTP account, click here or the graphic at the bottom of the post.
:: Search for the tourney under the Private tab or by entering this code: 76981094
:: Password = keeley hazell
:: Second and third place will receive Skull Candy head phones (like these).
:: If you knock out an Entity, you get a free Wicked Chops t-shirt.
One more reminder tomorrow...
* Likely will never happen again. Ever. Ever.
Guess what our password is...
As promised, here are the details for the First Annual* Wicked Chops Poker Reader Appreciation Freeroll:
And that's it. We know this is uber-late-notice but think of it this way: it'll increase the likelihood of you winning. Plus, this is really all about you. You narcissists.
Follow the Borgata action here, btw.
* No promises there. We're not a fucking bank you know.
More details to come in the next few hours, but we are running a Wicked Chops Poker Reader Appreciation Freeroll for a seat into the $3k buy-in Borgata Winter Open Main Event. Hotel room is included. However, you'll need to get there on your own dime.
The freeroll will take place this Thursday night (yeah, in two days) at 9pm EST (6pm PST).
The Main Event has two Day 1's to choose from (this Sunday and Monday).
We know there's not a large amount of lead time for this, but still a great prize and we'll post your action during the duration of your run.
Again, more details as soon as the room is set up online. Follow the current Borgata Winter Open action here.
Just wanted to give a quick thanks to our top referrers of 2008, without whom, we would not have been referrered to quite as often.
In alphabetical order, please visit:
This is a tough one.
In general, we don't care much about accolades, unless "accolades" is being used as some code word by our current/first wives for "blowjobs" in which case we care about accolades dearly.
But yeah, accolades, who cares. Everyone has their own tastes. The Karate Kid didn't win Best Picture in 1984. That went to Amadeus. Pretty sure we can all agree that The Karate Kid blows Amadeus out of the fucking water. Heck, "You're The Best Around" wasn't even nominated for best original song, and most "experts" or "critics" would argue that that's one of the 2 or 3 best songs from a movie OF ALL-TIME. (The award that year went to Stevie Wonder for "I Just Called to Say I Love You"... sure, give it to the blind guy...they didn't just hand the '07 WSOP Main Event to Hal Lubarsky, did they? Didn't think so.)
Anyway the point to all of this is: whatever you think "the best" is is purely subjective.
Having said that, we're competitive a-holes, so vote Wicked Chops Poker for Bluff Magazine's Reader's Choice Awards as Best Poker Blog here. Tell us, "Hey guys, we think YOU'RE THE BEST...AROUND...nothing gonna eva keep YOU down."
If you don't, then expect to see more Elizabeth Montizanti and less Keeley Hazell. We love us some spite, and we will spite you.
The topic of Wicked Chops Poker came up in one of the questions. The copy and pasting of that is seen below: ML: You get a lot of coverage, specifically from Wicked Chops Poker... are you flattered by their coverage or do you think they’re just a bunch of sexist pigs? ES: Well, I don’t think you can deny that much of what they write is sexist, but I still think it’s pretty hilarious. I mostly find it flattering and amusing whenever they mention me! You know you’ve arrived when Wicked Chops talks about you… Wait wait wait. "sexist pigs" or "sexy pigs?" Clearly Matt Parvis and Lance Bradley missed that in the editing process. Michele, turn your articles in sooner so they have time to catch such errors, ok?
"Yeah Michele, those Entities are some sexy pigs..."
The topic of Wicked Chops Poker came up in one of the questions. The copy and pasting of that is seen below:
ML: You get a lot of coverage, specifically from Wicked Chops Poker... are you flattered by their coverage or do you think they’re just a bunch of sexist pigs?
ES: Well, I don’t think you can deny that much of what they write is sexist, but I still think it’s pretty hilarious. I mostly find it flattering and amusing whenever they mention me! You know you’ve arrived when Wicked Chops talks about you…
Wait wait wait. "sexist pigs" or "sexy pigs?" Clearly Matt Parvis and Lance Bradley missed that in the editing process. Michele, turn your articles in sooner so they have time to catch such errors, ok?
Pictures of hot chicks railbirding guys out-of-focus...trademarked.
There seems to be a lot of "confusion" right now among the so-called poker "media" as to what we have trademarked and what we don't. "Entities," we keep hearing, "we don't want to be sued. It's not kosher. Can you please tell us what you have trademarked ... and ... what you don't?"
Listen, the last thing we want to be are a bunch of Litigious LennysTM, so here's a list of the terms we have trademarked so you don't overstep your bounds and we don't have to get lawyers involved. Because no one likes lawyers. Not even lawyers.
The Year of the Pro
On life support
The action has been fast and furious (we're looking at you, Card Player)
Big named big stacks
So-called poker "media"
Sent to the rail
The Last Woman Standing
Tao of Poker
Guinness and Poker
Hopefully that sets things straight and you can proceed without the veil of uncertainty hanging over your head.
Also, if you use any of the above trademarked terms, you owe us five dollars.
The Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker have been making the rounds lately, and we don't just mean with the ladies (just kidding, first/current wives).
In case you missed it, we were on the awesome Hard Core Poker Show last week. Podcast here.
A fun interview on the way to Phil Gordon's house for a WSOP party on the Day 1B Poker Edge podcast.
Tomorrow at 11;30am PST, we'll join Ali Najed, Gavin Smith, and Joe Sebok on their Poker Road Radio broadcast.
And then there was this chat on ESPN.com.
Oh yeah, and if you missed the interview with Dr. Pauly, revisit it here.
Ok...the third annual ESPN WSOP Fantasy Poker Draft is set to begin around 4:15 EST. As Entity Chops will be participating, we'll be live blogging the selection process. Last year, Chops held the lead going into the $10k PLO + rebuys event, but was overtaken by eventual winner Gavin Smith. The draft order has just been released. It is below.
Check back around 4:15 EST for more...
4:20 EST - Draft hasn't started yet but Gary Wise brought up this engaging vid where Allen Kesseler talks about beastiality.
4:25 EST - We're all waiting on Gavin to get here. He's first pick.
4:35 EST - Gavin still not here so moved to the last pick...Lance starts it off with Allen Cunningham.
4:40 EST - Good link sent to us during the draft here.
4:41 EST - Worst live blog ever?
4:50 EST - ......
5:15 EST - If you think this live blog is brutal, you should actually be part of this draft.
5:18 EST - Sebok is falling asleep. Nordberg is beating his head against a wall.
5:20 EST - Sebok instant analysis: Top to bottom, side to side, my team is mighty dominant. I would lay a large amount of money on this. Fo sho. Nordberg's team is easily the weakest. His picking style was laughable, at best. Seebs out.
5:25 EST - Nordberg instant analysis: Well I think I have a good team. The success of my team hinges on the Internet players I took. Sebok: Who's your team? Nordberg: I don't remember. Oh I did take Jordan Rich. He's a pain in the ass to play against. So he must be good.
Here are the list of teams:
Lance - Allen Cunningham / Andy Bloch / Gus Hansen / Michael Mizrachi / Sorel Mizzi / Berry Johnston / Roland De Wolfe / Andy Black
Sebok - Barry Greenstein / Scott Clements / Gavin Griffin / Tom Dwan / Steve Sung / Cory Carroll / Thor Hansen / Brian Devonshire
Seif - Daniel Negreanu / Ted Forrest / David Chiu / Chau Giang / Howard Lederer / Huck Seed / Annie Duke David Benyamine
Nordberg: Phil Hellmuth / Robert Mizrachi / Freddy Deeb / Justin Bonomo / Danny Wong / Shannon Shorr David Williams / Jordan Rich
Andrew Feldman: Phil Ivey Paul Wasicka Chad Brown Brandon Cantu Jeffrey Lissandro Jeff Madsen Mark Seif Bill Chen
Negreanu's All-Asian Spectacular: John Juanda / Men Nguyen / Kenny Tran / John Phan / Johnny Chan / Anna Wrobielski / Toto Leonidas / Minh Nguyen (since the draft Negreanu, who missed the call, was allowed to drop Anna, Toto, Kenny, and Minh and pick up Scott Fischman, Mark Gregorich, Bill Gazes, and Ralph Perry)
Gary Wise: Chris Ferguson / Michael Binger / Humberto Brenes / David Singer / Tom Schneider / Alex Kravchenko / Minh Ly / Daniel Alaei
Edler: Erick Lindgren / Nam Le / Josh Arieh / John Hennigan / Alex Jacob / John Gale / Lee Markholt / Joe Tehan
Bernard Lee: Erik Seidel / David Pham / Patrik Antonius / Lee Watkinson / Todd Brunson / Robert Williamson Eric Lynch / Vivek Rejkumar
Chops: "Salty" Joe Hachem / The spectacularly breasted J.C. Tran / Scotty Nguyen / Jonathan Little / Carlos Mortenson / Greg Raymer / Joe Sebok / Darrell "Deep" Dicken
Gavin Smith: Bill Edler / Gavin Smith / Max Pescatori / Jordan Morgan / Amnon Fillipi / Mike Matusow / Chris Bell / Peter Feldman
Time to say thanks to our top referrers from the past 30 days according to Feedburner, which fuels our RSS feed and supplies us with anal-ytics that are somehow completely different than our main stat thingamajig, and we lack the intellectual curiousity to figure out why. By the way, if you aren't signed up to receive Wicked Chops Poker updates daily via email, you can do so by clicking here. To get our feed online only, click one of the icons on the top right of the site, or for bloglines click here.
No doubt, the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal and the fact that Ashley Youmans aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre turned out to be a ho's ho drove a bit of traffic to WCP. Layla Kayleigh keeps bringing them in too. Apparently she is on some MTV show and whenever it airs people google the heck out of "Layla Kayleigh nude", only to disappointingly find out that the WPT hostess won't pose nude. As for referrers, Jesus Martinez's worshippers at DSF apparently wanted to see photos of Trishelle Cannatella playing poker. PocketFives, meanwhile, drove traffic to our RSS feed but not our site when a P5-er snatched code or something from our Trojan post and used it for a forum post. Yeh, we have no idea what we just said either.
All right, below are the top searches and referrers.
Photo above of German singer and soap opera-er Susan Sideropoulos. More of her here.
|Taking a look at our Feedburner stats, we wanted to acknowledge our top recent referrers, besides of course google searches for chicks like Layla Kayleigh, Olga Kurylenko, Keeley Hazell and Katie Rees. And oh yeh, Brandi Hawbaker.
Here they are.
:: Parttimepoker.com (fueled by searches for some sex tape)
:: Pokerisivut.com (stop it, we can't understand what you're saying but we think it has something to do with the post below)
:: NeverWinPoker (these guys make us look like puritans)
:: 2+2 Forum (surprised they leave the forum to read other sites)
:: Tao of Poker (Tao of who? is this a new site?)
We're not so much into bragging about our Nostradamus-like prognosticating skills as we are into pointing out when we we're frickin' geniuses at picking things. And the latest in the growing list of picks we've nailed is Maxim's Hometown Hottie of the Year contest.
Yep, Erin McKinnon (at right), who a few months ago we chose from the 100 girls left as a favorite to win the contest, was officially named Maxim's 2007 Hometown Hottie of the Year last week. The 23-year-old Univ. of Central Florida student beat out thousands of other chicks who ambitiously like to get half naked and pose for photos, and just like so many girls we dig (eg. Carrie Stroup, Katie Rees, Tara Conner, Danielle Lloyd, Caitlin Upton, Brandi Hawbaker) Erin is a beauty pageant chick (she is currently the reigning Miss Ormond Beach USA). It's funny, we never really considered tiara wearers our type, but when we looked beyond the superficial stuff and instead saw that they were the kinds of girls who shagged judges, made out with other hot chicks, posed for Playboy and said really stupid things in public, we saw their true inner beauty and they're now among our favorite kinds of girls, alongside promo/booth babes at conventions and supermodels with funny names.
For a video of the 2006 Hometown Hottie of the Year Kerry Suseck saying she'll never bare all (obviously not an ex-pageant chick), go here.
It's been debated on the best poker forums and blogs for years. It's importance has been paralled to that of "how did the universe begin" and "how many beers can I drink and still be under the legal driving limit?"
Who is the best looking girl in poker?
Here are what we feel are some pretty simple criteria:
1) The girl must have a cash in a major event (WSOP bracelet tourney, WPT, NBC National Heads-Up, etc.),
So while these criteria eliminate some of our faves like like Kimberly Lansing, Layla Kayleigh, and shit, even Joanna Krupa, you've still got plenty of good options. For a sport filled with as many fug dudes as poker does, we actually do have a bounty of babes who know how to treat a big stack. From classics like Clonie to Hollywood carpetbaggers like Elizabeth and Tilly, to online hotties like Jennicide, crazy/hots like Brandi, strip poker sultrusses like Erica, and FOWCP stunners like Lacey, Michele, and (on sponsor's exemption) Dee. And we haven't even gotten to Evy, Carmel,Liz or Vanessa from Duke yet.
All you need to do is send your submissions (up to 5 choices) to firstname.lastname@example.org or comment on them below. We'll pull the list of winners and present them on The TOKE in a couple of weeks. Maybe even come up with some sort of award. Why not?
But today isn't a typical day.
Cause we are breaking an exclusive with Vinnie Vinh's chair. No...freaking...comparison.
Wicked Chops Poker has a show coming soon to RawVegas.tv. On it, you'll get poker news you won't find anywhere else. Our first teaser vid explores the search for Vinnie Vinh, followed by an exclusive with twice-over 2007 WSOP casher, Vinnie Vinh's chair.
More to come in the next few days...
Chops 148, Gavin Smith 73, Andrew Feldman 50, Michele Lewis 49.5, Lance Bradley 27.5, Peter Feldman 25, Daniel Negreanu 6
These standings do not include Thor Hansen's final table finish for Chops. We're not saying Bodog got the odds wrong, but we're ARE saying that Bodog got the odds wrong. So I guess we're saying Bodog got the odds wrong.
RawVegas/WickedChops (Chops): 97 points, Kwick and easy (Paul Wasicka): 96, Better than OJ (Peter Feldman): 92, WiseHandPoker (Gary Wise): 85, Win One For the Kids (Bernard Lee): 70, Don't steal my blinds (Andrew Feldman): 65, Full Contact Fantasy Poker (Daniel Negreanu): 55, The Pier 32 Zuckers (Jordan Morgan): 43, Oh Canada! (Gavin Smith): 35, New Cut Crew (Steve Dannenmann): 13, No Twenty Somethings Please (Mark Seif): 10
More updates to follow so long as Chops is winning. For making you read this, a pic of this week's upcoming Parting Shot girl from Argentina, Carolina Pampita Ardohain, after the jump.
Check the site later today for as we may provide some updates.
And by "may" we seriously mean "may." No promises. Cause you know what they say about promises. They were made to be broken. Or was that records are made to be broken? No wonder no one trusts us. Oh well, too late to change that life philosophy now.
UPDATE: We are still alive in level 3 of the tourney mainly by benefit of not being seated until level 2 was almost over, just 2 of about 800 alternates in the event. Snake is sitting at a table with Shane "Shaniac" Schleger with just over the starting stack of $3K, Chops has a little bit easier table and is sitting right at $4,400. More to come...
UPDATE: Chops got knocked out in the upper 600's. A little under average stacked, Chops raised in MP with pocket sixes and was re-raised all-in by the big blind. The big blind had Chops covered by about 200. The big blind had been overplaying Ace rag and other weaker pocket pairs, and Chops put him on an Ace rag. With the blinds at their current level, Chops would've been left with only 7 big blinds if he folded. So Chops called and the big blind showed Ah-9h. A nine came on the flop and that was it.
Who has time to write anything?
Until later, kill time with some quasi-NSFW pics of Joanna Krupa in a Polish men's mag.
The ridiculously simple online audition process for "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker II" ends soon, or if calendars are to be believed, in 10 days.
Those who want to appear on the "Apprentice"-like, poker-themed reality TV show in which 12 amateur poker players (no pros or celebs like last year) live it up for a month and compete for a $2 Million Grand Prize package have until May 6 to either upload a recent photo of yourself (so they know you don't look like this) or submit a one-minute video making a case for why you'd be great for the show.
Just go to Bodog.tv/Audition to get it done.
And if you are one of the 12 who make it on the show, you have a 1 in 12 chance, according to the team of expert statisticians we just consulted, to win $1,000,000 in cash and a $1,000,000 contract to join Bodog's poker team.
Wow, $1 Million in cash. Just what we need, another million dollars. Seriously, as entities who aren't so much into money as we are made of money, we often ask ourselves, "When is enough ever enough?" Do we really need another yacht for our Pacific fleet, or another white tiger for the Vegas condo, or another shipment of kalishnikovs and RPGs for the guerillas in Myanmar?
Actually we never ask ourselves this question. It's a stupid question.
Unfortunately though, we found out after making a video of ourselves to the tune of "Beautiful" by James Blunt that we can't compete on the show for reasons that have nothing to do with us being the half-brothers of Bodog's Calvin Ayre and more to do with the fact that we get shipped Bodog girls to our Vegas and Atlanta offices every month in exchange for that advertisement you see on the right.
Oh well, guess we'll settle for lovely Bodog Girl Samira, who you can see looking lovely after the jump . . .
Over the years, we've tattooed a number of things on our collective asses: "Live free or die." "Poop comes out of here." A Groucho Marx face. The lyrics to "Silent Lucidity."
Now replace all of the preceding with "nothing," and somewhere in between lies the truth.*
One thing we certainly wouldn't put on our ass: someone else's name.
In Part I of their latest Prop Bets, filmed last month at the WPT LAPC, Smith and Sebok put more than money on the line. They put their pride. See who gets their ass tatt'd (or read our posts from last month) on RawVegas.tv.
*New favorite saying...for the next couple of days at least.
If you happened to read Lacey Jones' blog today, then you know that she met up with Snake, the Addict and Chops, along with a few of the RawVegast.tv crew (Newby and Michael Friedman), at the Venetian for the 8pm tournament last Friday, and in an achievement that rivals that of Amelia Earhart's flight across the Atlantic, Madame Curie's discovery of polonium and Keeley Hazell's becoming a national institution solely because of her gargantuan boobs, the Absolute Poker hottie, a woman, outlasted all five of us (as well as some guy who earned the name "Lady Hater") to finish 7th in the tournament. Sure our minds were on the forthcoming multi-session orgy with the pageant girls, et al, but still impressive work Ms. Jones. Impressive stuff.
Read/see more about Lacey in our Heads-Up interview with her.
If you're like us, you're wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, wildly attractive, hung like an elephant trunk, help fund militia guerrilla movements in third world countries to topple oppressive regimes, and hate making New Year's resolutions.
However, our hatred of making New Year's resolutions doesn't stop us from making New Year's resolutions. In fact, out of pure spite for those people who do make New Year's resolutions, us Entities annually make our vows for the upcoming year and follow through on them, unlike 95% of the mass populace. While we can surely promise you we will forget to keep you updated on our progress on our resolutions (listed after the jump) during 2007, that doesn't mean we aren't committed to making them happen. And while we don't really care, if you have resolutions of your own, let us know what they are anyway. It's like we'll be one big happy New Year's resolution family!
For the Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker, 2006 presented us with some amazing trips...which consequently led to some of the craziest bedlam ensuing trip reports we've ever reported. From midget orgies to mobile meth labs to cleaning our plates at the Coffee Shop at TI, we somehow, as Madonna would say, lived to tell about it all.
And just when we thought that there's NO WAY any more bedlam could possibly ensue...seriously it would be Mongolodian if it did...along came last week. And more bedlam ensued. As the Entities found themselves in Tijuana running as fast as they could from El Diablo Blanco. More on this after the New Year. For now, feast on these bedlam ensuing tales:
Oh about a month ago we began our epic "Hindsight is Retrospect" series
regurgitating because we're lazy recapping some content and happenings of 2006.
completely forgetting that we were supposed to be regurgitating content from the past year this month covering all sorts of hard-hitting, fast-breaking, action-packed poker news, we're ready to pick up where we left off in the recapping process.
Today, let's look back at our most popular (read) stories of the year
although let's face it they were all popular and hugely read, seriously picking a story that wasn't that widely read on this site would be like trying to pick a morsel of food off the plate of a family dinner at the Benvenisti household, ie it doesn't exist. Enjoy!
We don't usually like to give the heads up of where we'll be at any given time, especially in light of recent rumors that a rogue group of British slap ninjas were gonna put a hit on us. Whether that means buy us a few rounds of Cosmopolitans or slap our wrists silly were not so sure, but we're taking precautions either way. Think Jamie Gold at the WSOP except instead of renting a bunch of tall, obnoxious dudes in suits with "Security" stitched on their lapels, we're getting last month's Bodog Girl Nicole (photos after the jump) to mind our matters, because she looks like she can kick some ass and she has a spectacular ass and most importantly we're thinking she'll keep the slap happy types away, unless they want to talk hair, because hers is lovely.
But yeh, Snake and the Addict will be in Vegas this week and for some time thereafter. Chops of course lives in Vegas so he'll be there too. So all three of us will be there, if you do the math.
Again, last month's Bodog Girl Nicole after the jump as well as over at BodogNation.com, where you can also see the newest Bodog Girl Ksenia, whose name is either pronounced "Kenia" or "Senia," we're guessing.
Looking back at our "Look Back at 2006" post, we started looking forward towards 2007 and realized we need to starting looking for our official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2007 to replace our official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006, Keeley Hazell.
So look, if you have any recommendations as you look over our past Friday Night Parting Shot Girls or perhaps any girls you've looked at while looking on the Intertubes, please share. This will be the girl you'll be looking at here all year long so think long and hard about it, as we are. And just to let you know what we're looking at, some names we've been tossing around this morning include Justine Bateman (at right), Princess Diana, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Neve Campbell...although Bateman seems so last year and we've been having a hard time finding recent photos of Lady Di so we're leaning more towards Hewitt and Campbell because these Party of Five chicks are gonna go places in 2007. Just you wait.
Speaking of looking...and we really don't want to share this with you because it's wrong and it scarred our minds first thing this morning and gave us brain herpes, but if there is one thing we learned from the philosophers in Soul Asylum, misery loves company so let's start a company and make misery, and our first product will be the photos of Britney Spears posted over at our favorite celebrity slag blog that show the twice divorced mother of two sans panties getting out of sports car driven by Paris Hilton. And if that sounds sexy to you then you've never seen photos of Britney Spears sans panties getting out of sports car driven by Paris Hilton. Put on your mental image condom and view photos here (NSFW although covered up until you click to enlarge). The image to the left of a dumb fluffy chick and pussy cat gives you a good idea, metaphorically, of what to expect...except imagine the cat shaved.
To aid recovery, after the jump is a photo of Keeley as Britney from our friends at Zoo Weekly.
The Entities that comprise Wicked Chops Poker are always looking for a way to shortcut actually writing new content. Particularly at the end of the year. When everything is brutally slow. Including the gentle breezes of Fijian beaches where we sit right now...in our cabana...sipping cocktails...and reminiscing of days of yore. Or more specifically the past 12 months.
So we begin our journey through recycled content today with Part I of our annual (as of this year) famed "A Look Back: Wicked Chops Poker's 2006 Year In Review Recap Because Hindsight is Retrospect" series. Today's topic: Top Referrers.
Referrers are kind of the life blood of our site in a way sort of. If we're being totally truthful, our writing is the lifeblood of our site. And the pictures of half-naked babes. And the personalities, good and bad, that make up our sport. And the feedback we get from you, the reader. But right after our writing, half-naked babes, personalities (good and bad), and feedback from you our readers, referrers are seriously what makes our site get up in the morning.
Wicked Chops Poker 2006 Top Referrers
1 - Gorilla Mask (for the Joanna Krupa 2006 WSOP link throughs)
2 - Tao of Poker (for countless link throughs)
3 - The Clay Report (for just, ah, forget it)
4 - Defamer (for continued Jaime Gold coverage)
5 - Gambling 911 (thanks to one of our favorites out there, Jenny Woo)
So over the next month, we'll recap everything that made 2006 the year that it was for us, including our favorite babe pics, our top news stories (hint: Jamie Gold/Crispin Leyser is #1), some clarification on our statement about how we don't believe in "journalistic integrity" (thought it was made perfectly clear, but some of you don't seem to get it), and as the Governator would say, "things of that nature."
"Vijay, get us another drink!" Wait, that's weird. What we just said to our cabana waiter was literally typed out verbatim. How'd that happen? This Internet thing is crazy. We bet it's here to stay.
We here at Wicked Chops Poker hate talking about ourselves. Just ain't cool. You don't wanna hear it. Bad taste. Unfortunately, this doesn't even remotely stop us from talking about ourselves incessently.
So we'd be remiss not to point out our latest BLUFF Magazine column has hit newstands (and if you missed it, check out the October issue column here). The guys over at BLUFF did a killer job with the spread. Looks great. Not a bad read either.
And we're supplementing our monthly BLUFF column with some original content on the BLUFF website, which you can find at http://www.bluffmagazine.com/wickedchopspoker/.
We here at Wicked Chops Poker are not afraid to admit when we're wrong.
Last week, like a fickle radio station switching from a classic rock playlist to one of those iPod shuffle "Dave," "Jack," or "Sam" FM formats, we decided to ride the hot trend and begin covering the latest rage: state lotteries.
However, playing state lotteries, games which the Government of this very United States has deemed safe for us to play at will, led us down a dangerous path that we were lucky to survive.
So we've learned our lesson. We will no longer play, cover, or even think about state lotteries again. It's back to poker for us. It's safer. It's more fun. And doggone-it, poker likes us.
After the jump, NSFW pics of girls with big boobs, including Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006, Keeley Hazell, Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2005, Joanna Krupa, WCP celeb fave Scarlett Johansson, and newcomer Vida Guerra.
It's nice to be back.
Keeley Hazell, the official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006 (a completely made-up accolade created solely to give us a reason to share photos of Keeley for no reason at all), is way too classy to be the official Wicked Chops State Lotteries Girl of 2006, and when we say classy we mean bodaciously breasted, hot as balls and speaks the Queen's English.
No, for the official Wicked Chops State Lotteries Girl of 2006 we need a girl that says "state lotteries" just by looking her. Don't get us wrong though. She must be
hot doable but she also must be the archetypal beauty for the average person who plays the lottery regularly and the 0.00000049% who win. And while we have a few girls in mind who we think fit the bill, we'd definitely like to hear your thoughts.
While you're deliberating, check out Keeley's new "Seduction Special" spread in FHM UK over at DailyNiner.com, which if you view at work, will likely give you a raise and get you fired at the same time. Also, after the jump is another one of them Keeley Hazell videos. This one from her first FHM shoot, which strangely has her talking a bunch without her saying the word "boobs" every sentence.
As you are painfully aware, two weeks ago Senator Bill Frist (R-TN) pulled a Pearl Harbor job on the American democratic system by sneaking anti-online gaming legislation into a bill concerning Port Security, because, well, there is no better way to make sure potential weapons of mass destruction don’t enter this country then by banning the average American from playing online poker.
President Bush is expected to sign the Port Security bill into law this week. Although Samual Adams-esque brave sites like Full Tilt Poker, Full Contact Poker, Bodog, and TruePoker have already stepped up and said they will not back out of the U.S. market, who knows how it will really impact the online poker industry once the bill is signed?
Anyway, there’s an old adage that goes something like, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst” or something.
So we here at Wicked Chops Poker are preparing for the absolute, most apocalyptic scenario imaginable in the history of mankind: no more online poker, and no more Wicked Chops Poker.
However, unlike many of the online gaming sites out there, we actually have a Plan B, a plan that is so crazy, it just might work.
Introducing: Wicked Chops State Lotteries!
We were going to call this post "Guess Whose Breasts" but that would have come across as an unrefined and uncivilized attempt to pander to the prurient interests of our readers' minds for the sake of lowbrow amusement and thoughtless blog content, and we prefer not to stoop to such sophomoric antics here at Wicked Chops Poker. But since we have no idea what all that means, go ahead and guess whose breasts these are. Guess right and you might win a WCP shirt or something.
And recently labeled her a bitch and the most despicable person at this year's WSOP.
But truth be told, we actually love Anna Benson. And what's not to love about a poker playin', PETA hatin', Michael Moore loathin', gun totin', ex-stripper MILF with a southern accent and a smokin' hot bod she ain't afraid to show and use, a lot?
So if we ever talked unkindly of Anna, well, we just thought that's how poker playin', PETA hatin', Michael Moore loathin', gun totin', ex-stripper MILFs with southern accents and smokin' hot bods like to be talked to. You know, dirty. "Oh, you dirty, trashy hot, publicity whore, you." That's how you talk to girls. It's hot.
Apparently she doesn't see it that way. Anna was recently chatting with the fine folks over at Gambling911.com about Wicked Chops Poker and said some very hurtful things about us.
"WickedChopsPoker are nobodies, the site is garbage. Gambling911.com is a respected website," Anna quipped when asked about our previously "misconstrued" unflattering remarks about her.
Ouch. So mean, Anna. Lots of people don't realize this, but Wicked Chops Poker doesn't have "thick" skin. In fact, our skin is like papier mache. We hurt. We bleed. We cry.
Thankfully Anna, we have our current/first wives' shoulders to cry on because if we didn't we'd have to go out and find some poker playin', PETA hatin', Michael Moore loathin', gun totin', ex-stripper MILF with a southern accent and smokin' hot bod and bang her senselessly until her eyes rolled back in her head just to get over the hurt of what you said. Because we're sensitive like that.
Except replace all of the wimpy things we said in the previous two paragraphs with the exact opposite. That's slightly closer to the truth. Except replace "slightly" with "much much more."
Anyway, besides being all those things we said about her, Benson is also a liar or whatever it is you call someone when they say something untrue and know that it is untrue. When Gambling911.com asked her about Wicked Chops Poker's "unflattering account" of her at this year's World Series of Poker, Anna responded:
"I'm a nice person. This was my first World Series of Poker tournament and after sitting there for so many hours, I was just getting very uncomfortable. I didn't mean to upset anyone."
Her first WSOP? Did Anna somehow forget that she played last year's WSOP, had someone wager $10k that she'd win it and boasted that she lasted to the end of the third day, beat out 1200 other players and "shocked the poker professionals that gathered to watch her?"
Perhaps though we'll give Anna the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe she was just saying this was her first event at this year's WSOP and not first WSOP ever. And you know, maybe we here at Wicked Chops Poker are too quick to jump on Anna the minute she opens her mouth.
Not like she's not used to guys jumping on her the minute she opens her mouth.
After the jump, a video of Anna opening her mouth...among other things.
Our search has ended.
We found our Sweats.
Last week, we set out on an epic journey looking for five WCP readers to follow during the 2006 WSOP ME. This week, after parsing through literally hundreds minus multiple dozens of emails, we're ready to announce your official 2006 WSOP WCP Sweats:
Read more about each after the jump...
We'll be announcing our winners of the Wicked Chops Poker "We Will Sweat You" contest later today.
Our feigned heartfelt apologies for the lack of "posting" on WSOP events this weekend. However, the entities that comprise Wicked Chops Enterprises LLC have now arrived in Las Vegas.
But first, naps all around. Them plane rides is tiring.
Be part of something greater.
Are you playing in the WSOP ME next week? Would you like to share your experience with literally zillions of readers?
Wicked Chops Poker is looking to sweat five WSOP ME runners for as long as you can handle it. Aside from receiving a shiny new WCP shirt and pseudo and fleeting celebrity status, you will get to tell your story, your best bluffs, your great laydowns, and what it’s like to play in the world’s best sporting event to all of our readers.
For those unsure (the Addict), "sweating" is one of many "gay" sounding terms that has somehow made it into our collective lexicon. Like "backdoor." Or "suck out." Or "flop the nuts." Or "corkin'd". Regardless, sweating means that we will follow you, watch you,
stalk and kill you, and report on your doings.
So be like one of these smiling people from the standard schlocky corporate stock photography we stole for this post and join the team!!!
If you’re interested, please send an email to email@example.com with the following info:
- Your name
- How you qualified
- Your live tournament experience
- Your online tournament experience
- You blog/website (if you have one)
- Which first day flight you are playing
- Something “unique” about yourself
- What your WCP headline would be if you won the Main Event
- Who would be sitting at your dream WSOP final table
We will then select the top 5 and get in contact with you next week. So be prepared to bring it.
The Wicked Chops Posse tore it up Rocks and Rings style the other night over at our good friend Stacy Keibler's crib up in the Hills. We got a bite from Legs around midnight, saying she was hosting girls' poker night with the usual suspects--Rosa, Michele, Kelly, Victoria, Maeve, Tara and Shannon. Our friends at Bodog were on site to supply the ammo and OK! magazine was there to cover the party.
Totally on point, Legs knows we're the guys who really know how to party and are determined to teach the world this skill. No doubt her and the babies were just looking to get hotwired, so we obliged, donning our Armani Black Label threads and hopping over in our limo with some deep dish and Kelt Cognac XO to set the party right. Being the only men invited of course was flattering, and exhausting, as the women treated us like the sexual toys we are. Sure we could go on with details but we feel sorry that not everyone quite lives the Eudamonistic lifestyle we do. But just to give you a taste, after the jump are few photos we snapped on our blinged-out new Fusic phones from LG. They're not the best quality, but what can we say, we had our hands tied. Literally.
Earlier in the week, we discussed how Clay Aiken's army of Clags, through BadGirl's website the Clay Report (BadGirl are you hot? You sound hot. God we hope you're not 14...or a dude...), have become our new Top Recent Referrer.
We never thought, so long as he linked to us once or twice a month, that anyone would top Pauly. But the Clags have come out in full force and will be perched atop our recent referrers list until the end of the month. It's a lock. Book it.
Does this mean that despite his new haircut and coming out of the closet that Clay Aiken is more popular than poker? It's hard to say. We don't know. We don't even know if he'll out-sell Katharine McPhee's soon-to-be-released album through 19 Recordings.
However, what we do know is that the below list of sites are awesome for at least attempting to take back our Top Recent Referrer spot. Read these sites. They're the stuff of legends. Or legends in the making, at least.
If we were single and these sites were girls, we wouldn't even treat them as cheap one night stands. We'd date them. Bring them flowers. Take them home to meet the fam. Text message them sweet nothings. Yes, I think we're falling in love with the sites below, all of whom have just pimped us or regularly do so.
Because you can only talk about poker so much . . . Click Here
We sort of have this thing for Keeley Hazell and ...
We're kind of digging the snorgtees girls. You should buy their shirts. Check 'em out.