Shannon Elizabeth on Ante Up for Africa Red Carpet at the 2008 WSOP

We didn't quite listen to what Shannon Elizabeth had to say in the video below from the Ante Up for Africa poker tournament yesterday at the 2008 WSOP. Something about actors being tired doing poker players who act while playing poker at the World Series of Poker. Or something. We don't know. Honestly we were distracted by that cute vein Shannon has on her forehead and the British glam girl with huge breastesses who walked by near the end of the video and who somehow made an appearance in our photos of Ben Affleck yesterday.

Watch Shannon Elizabeth on RawVegas.tv here

Shannon Elizabeth Playing Poker Isn't Quite Like Shannon Elizabeth Dancing with the Stars

When Shannon Elizabeth of Dancing with the Stars fame was on Dancing with the Stars, we were killing it because people google'd the heck out of Shannon Elizabeth Dancing with the Stars and Dancing with the Stars Shannon Elizabeth. And either way you put it, we owned it, so Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars was great for our traffic.

Shannon Elizabeth playing poker, however, not so much.

Not that we're not one of the top sites if you google "Shannon Elizabeth playing poker." Just seems no one is doing it.

Lacey Jones playing poker. Tons of hits.

Diane Nguyen playing poker. Ditto.

Layla Kayleigh nude playing poker. People want to see.

But Shannon Elizabeth playing poker. Again, just not something people are searching.

Not sure why, because if you click on our photos below of Shannon Elizabeth playing poker in the Stud/8 event at the 2008 WSOP (where she made it onto Day 2 with a healthy stack), you have to admit she looks pretty damn good. Maybe not Layla Kayleigh nude playing poker good, but still good enough.

Shannon Elizabeth Poker Photos Gallery

2008 WSOP Update: Mike "The Mouth" Matusow Takes a Deuce; Daniel Negreanu Goes for Fourth Bracelet

The 2008 World Series of Poker has been going on for almost two weeks. Lots of action. Tired...interest waning. Then watched this video. Suddenly awake. Recharged. Let's go.

:: Event #18 ($10,000 2-7 Lowball w/ Rebuys) - The Deuce-to-Seven list of winners is a "who's who" of poker greats. So how the hell does Full Tilt Poker pro Mike "The Mouth" Matusow get to add his name to that list? Mike defeated a star-studded final table, out-dueling a final four that included Erick Lindgren, Barry Greenstein, and Jeffrey Lisandro to pick up his third bracelet and $537,862. Get full payouts here. Photo of Mike "The Mouth" Matusow after the win from the Poker Prof here.

:: Event #19 ($1,500 Pot Limit Omaha) - Like Big Brown winning the Triple Crown, this one is a "foregone conclusion." Vanessa Selbst, a wom--, a woma--, ugh, a woman, to borrow a phrase from Dr. Pauly, has a "redunkulous" chip lead. Selbst is stacked at 1,047,000. The closest competitor, Jamie Pickering, has 329,000. A bunch of people you've never heard of and who aren't winning the bracelet anyway follow. See their names here.

:: Event #20 ($2,000 Limit Hold'em) - The big story here is "Can Daniel Negreanu win his fourth bracelet?" Cause there's really not that much intrigue after that. Daniel seems primed and ready and as we wrote yesterday, is running hot right now. Get full chip counts here.

:: Event #21 ($5,000 NLH) - Day 1 saw 731 entrants whittle down to 121. Some dude named Alex Melnikow is the chip leader, stacked at 248,800. A surprising lack of big names are among the big stacks, with a few exceptions including the wildly marketable Hasan Habib (140,200), Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi (103,100), this insufferably annoying Humberto Brenes (101,000), Anna Wroblewski, a woman, (100,000), and Dmitri "Where You Been Lately" Nobles (100,000). Gavin Smith, who we hope will help us starting finding some hot railbirds with THOs for pics, also remains with 25,500. Get full chip counts here.

:: Event #22 ($3,000 H.O.R.S.E) - The last tournament of the day brought in a respectable 414 runners. Only 160 remained at the end of play. Alexander Jung leads the way, stacked at 51,000. Lots of big names follow, including Todd Brunson (41,000), Kevin 'BeL0WaB0Ve' Saul (38,600), get this...wait for it...Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth (34,500), Steve Zolotow (30,000), James Mackey, a ginger (30,000), and Phil Ivey (28,000). Get full chip counts here.

2008 WSOP Band of Bloggers: Get full recaps and payouts from WorldSeriesofPoker.com here. Get Dr. Pauly's take on WSOP happenings here. Gary Wise has some thoughts here. Please please don't forget Pokerati here. And get Poker Prof's recap and more photos here.

Shannon Elizabeth Playing Poker at 2008 WSOP Photo Dump

Dancing with the Stars contestant and poker pro Shannon Elizabeth is doing well early on in Event #6, the $1,500 Omaha Hi/Lo tournament at the 2008 World Series of Poker, although chances are pretty strong that by the time we wake up she'll have been sent to the rail.

Still not seen anywhere around the Rio or Las Vegas is Derek Hough. But that's fine. We're not really into Mormon dudes. And as long as he keeps working her out, that's a good thing, cause this is the best she's looked in about four years (although sort of hard to tell in these pics). Or better put, since she stopped taking her clothes off in movies and started playing poker full time.

Below is the first of likely many Shannon Elizabeth 2008 WSOP photo dumps. Click pics to enlarge.

2008 WSOP Update: Event #2 Finally at Final Table, Shannon Elizabeth Looking Good, and How Many Times Negreanu Rebought

:: The final table for Event #2 ($1,500 NLH) is finally set. James Akenhead is big stacked with 1,995,000. He's followed by Aaron Coulthard (1,510,000) and Theo Tran (1,420,000). Chris "Jesus" Ferguson also remains, stacked at 1,235,000. Get full chip counts here.

:: Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth is here playing in Event #6 ($1,500 Omaha Hi/Lo). Wait, what? Shannon Elizabeth plays Omaha Hi/Lo? Really? Seriously? Do have to admit, all of that fucking dancing she's been doing with Derek Hough is paying off as she's looking pretty good.

:: Event #5 (one of our faves, the $1,000 NLH +rebuys) is in full swing with lots of stocked tables. Daniel Negreanu and Gavin Smith are next to each other. Daniel only rebought 9 times this year, a far cry from his record 23 (BJ Nemeth, it's 23 right? Please confirm.). Gavin put the odds at 0% that Chops' ESPN Fantasy League team would not include Darrell "Deep" Dicken. Good call there. Current chip leaders include Robert Cheung (81,500), we own Blair Hinkle SEO (46,000), Mark Vos, a ginger (40,000), John Juanda (37,500), Phil Ivey (36,000), the aforementioned Gavin Smith (32,000), and Phil Hellmuth (30,000). Get full chip counts here.

:: Vanessa Rousso, who is from Duke, was spotted in the hallway taking to a guy wearing a Duke cap. Not making that up either.

Doyle Brunson Opens the 2008 WSOP and Cougar Accepts WCP Invite

It was no surprise when WCP asked “a woman” to write on their site but it was quite the shocker when they chose “a woman” who hadn’t undressed for money. Nonetheless, it was a quick affirmative as I knew I would have full access to their private jet and yacht. We debated… In the Cage with a Cougar, Five Minutes with a Cougar, The Cougar’s Roar and settled on The Cougar Corner.

They call me the Cougar for at least two of the following reasons:

1. It’s an inside joke.
2. I married a man 392 days my junior.
3. It makes the 1/3 of WCP married to a Cougar feel better.
4. Cougar halts at the border of offensiveness and my husband scares them.
5. I attended Cougar classes here.

However, last night between their beer bongs, SEXT* messages (to their current and first wives) and casino streaking, they couldn’t decide what exactly qualified one as a Cougar. Did she hunt or just prefer younger men? Should Cougars be at least 40 years-old with relations averaging a ten year age difference? Did a Cougar need to be a fan of the Chippendale dancers?

In Cougar summary, it doesn’t matter because they’ve branded me with the nickname and now, since several people addressed me as Cougar yesterday at the 2008 WSOP, I guess it’s “Time to Say Goodbye” to nickname numero uno…the Black Widow.

Hump to the jump for WSOP updates.

2008 WSOP Has Begun!

The above photo is from the 2006 WSOP Main Event and will serve as a good placeholder until we get something else for this year...fyi...btw...

The 2008 WSOP is underway with the $10k PLH. VERY early chip leaders include Edwin James Olmos Eli Elezra, Jennifer Harman, and our favorite scarf-wearing Euro Dario Minieri. Get chip counts here.

Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth must've busted in record time as we saw her getting into a car (sans Derek Hough) about 30 mins after cards were dealt.

Some other random notes:

:: We'll have video footage from the Bluff Magazine 2008 World Series of Poker Kick-Off Party at Tao Las Vegas up in about an hour...

:: ...as well as Patrik Antonius' first ever video blog.

:: ESPN Poker Club honcho Andrew Feldman has a much better write-up of the 2008 WSOP Fantasy Draft than our live blogging of the "event." (video of this for some reason coming next week)

:: And Gary Wise has his top stories to watch for at the 2008 WSOP.

One Week Until 2008 WSOP + We're Off Memorial Day Weekend

Barring some crazy breaking story, Wicked Chops Poker will be off Memorial Day Weekend. With the 2008 World Series of Poker just a week away (meaning six straight weeks of unrelenting poker coverage), and 2/3 of the Entities in Ireland right now, and 1/3 of the Entities staggering drunk for three-days, let's be honest, not much is going to get done.

But to get in the mindset for the 2008 WSOP, here's some recommended reading from WCP coverage of WSOP's past.

2005 WSOP
Before going down on Dancing with the Stars' Derek Hough, Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth went down in four-way action.
Wily Brit Barry Baskin smelled like shit.
Whatever happened to Johnny Rockets from Daytona? That guy seemed to have the total package.
Brad Garrett was urinating and so dork had an Elmo head.
The longest massage ever?
Some dude got real creepy around Greg Raymer.
Tiffany Williamson...that bitch is crazy!

2006 WSOP
Where to even begin? How about some Card Player Like You Were There Moments (TM) here here here here here here and here.
Phil Hellmuth wins a then record-tying 10th bracelet.
Clearly us at our absolute most bedlam ensuing.
Some chick played in a nun outfit which probably blew Gank's mind.
The Milwaukee's Best Light girls need to make a comeback.
Somebody told us that Bill Gates has a regular call girl he sees in France.
Our Sweats did OK in Day 1B.
Mean people applauded when Doyle Brunson busted.
Our mutual love-affair with Anna Benson began.
Joanna Krupa (above) officially became the hottest girl to ever play the WSOP.
Some more hot girls from the 2006 WSOP.
Vaughn Sandman (where ya been, bud?) absolutely toys with "Salty" Joe Hachem.
We were the first to introduce the world to Jamie Gold.
And we were the only ones to get a pic with Jamie Gold and Crispin "Don't Call Me Bruce" Leyser.

Shannon Elizabeth is Maxim Cover Girl, Doing New Reality Show with Dancer Kid She's Dating

Poker playing actress/cougar Shannon Elizabeth, who you may recall us mentioning in a few dozen posts was on Dancing With the Stars, is the new Maxim cover girl (June issue) with a multi-page photo spread inside that can be best described in one word: "zzzzzzzzzz."

Sorry but considering that Shannon has done the naked thing a few times, doing a photo spread where half her body is covered is a big step backwards for us. What's next, a STUFF spread in a pantsuit? An FHM shoot in a burka? Wait, that could be hot. Someone needs to start a hotchicksinburkas.com website. It'll probably be huge if Barack Obama wins the election and has his way. He’s Muslim, right?

As we pointed out before, Shannon hasn't done a decent hot photo spread since Y2K, and hot photo spreads have made great advances in the past 8 years under the Bush administration, so we were hoping for something hotter along the lines of what other DwtS chicks have done like Kelly Monaco and Stacey Kiebler (worth-the-click examples here, here, here and here).

Instead we get photos of Shannon in panties(?) that look like something Johnny Weissmuller would have worn.

And not even one look-from-behind. What's a photo spread without a good look-from-behind?

Seriously, did the terrorists win? Because if the terrorists won, this is the type of shit they'd do. B-a-r-a-c-k O-b-a-m-a.

Anyway, she does show off the gams like a champ so she has that going for her and if you didn't get enough of them on Dancing with the Stars, you can get your fill below.

In related Shannon Elizabeth news, Spice Girl Mel B., who someone just told us was on Dancing with the Stars once, is reportedly producing a new reality show starring Shannon and her boy crush/dance partner Derek Hough, a Mormon. Word is that the show will follow the two "as their careers evolve and their romance blossoms" or in other words, will be as interesting as watching this.

Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth Teaching Derek Hough How to Play Poker, Have Sex, Drink, Etc.

Even though they've been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars, Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough continue to tango.

Reports have been circulating that the two have been dating (and has been confirmed through multiple sources in the poker world). Shannon, 34, split with her math teacher boyfriend Brett Estrada around the beginning of the show, and Derek, a Mormon (dum-da-da-da-dum), was single because he's Mormon and we're pretty sure they're not even allowed to date. They just get married (...and married...and married...).

So will the cougar Shannon corrupt poor little 22-year-old Derek with evils like booze, sex, drugs, and poker?

[A] report claims that Shannon is so determined to make the romance work that she's even teaching Derek how to play poker. Says the source, "Poker is her passion. She's won a lot of money in poker tournaments."

What in the name of Bringham Young is going on here?

We'll see if we see Derek at the 2008 WSOP.

More on Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough dating.

Shannon Elizabeth No Longer Dancing With the Stars

Go figure. The one Monday we don't post a video of Shannon Elizabeth's Dancing With the Stars performance, she gets eliminated the very next day.

We guess the Wicked Chops Poker vote was keeping Shannon and her boy-wonder dance partner in all this time.

Oh well, it was a good run Shannon. And thanks for driving some added traffic to our site, even if we did lose one reader because of you.

Watch Shannon's last performance below, which was near perfect in the legs and boobs department but apparently a tad stiff on the whole dancing side of things.

We're guessing the comment she makes about her butt at the end is why we're getting searches for "Shannon Elizabeth butt implants" to our site.

Watch above video of Shannon on YouTube here.

Some highlights of our Shannon Elizabeth Dancing With the Stars coverage over the past whatever weeks:

Video: Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars Week 4
Shannon Elizabeth Back to Showing Legs on Dancing with the Stars
"Salty" Joe Hachem Turned Down Dancing with the Stars
Sannon Elizabeth Survives 1st Cut on Dancing With the Stars
Shannon Elizabeth Looking Good on DwtS, But Needs to Show More Leg Next Time

Deal Was Mucked at the Box Office, Will My Blueberry Nights Be Better?

Deal, the new poker movie starring Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth, limped in to this weekend's box office, banking $31,000 on 50 screens. It received exactly no good reviews, scoring a 0% on rottentomatoes.com. Not a good year for the poker movie. The Grand, which wasn't actually that poorly reviewed, still flopped. And Lucky You (which doesn't even deserve italics or bolding), which came out around this time last year, is possibly the worst movie ever made. However, thanks to reader Mike May (his blog here) for tipping us off on a Norah Jones/Natalie Portman/Rachel Weisz pseudo poker flick opening in Las Vegas this weekend called My Blueberry Nights: "I don’t know if this is anything that would be of interest to Wicked Chops, but...there’s a movie called My Blueberry Nights that is opening in Vegas this weekend.  It’s not really a poker movie. It’s mostly chick stuff that you might not be so into, with the singer Norah Jones driving around the country after a bad breakup.  But there are about 8-10 minutes of hot poker action.  Norah Jones’ character runs into a professional poker player played by Natalie Portman.  Unlike the Natalie Portman movie Closer, unfortunately in this movie Ms. Portman does not get down on all fours and show her Hooha to someone in a strip club.  Nonetheless, she does play poker and she looks pretty hot with short hair and a tiny dress." Pics of Portman from the flick above. Click to enlarge. May be just us but in the photos alone it seems that Natalie channeled a bit of the late Brandi Hawbaker for her role as a young, sexy and struggling poker player in Las Vegas. Mike May noted that Stu Ungar bio co-author Peter Alson was a consultant on the movie and he helped write the poker scenes.  And Mike himself played Portman's nemisis at the poker table.  Check out a video review of the Wong Kar Wai directed movie by the NY Times here. It shows Natalie playing some poker and Mike at the table with her about a minute or so in. In semi-related news, the still funny Natalie Portman SNL rap.

Critics Love Shannon Elizabeth Poker Movie Deal, Which Hits Theaters Tonight

A month after Zak Penn's The Grand stormed the box office by banking just enough to buy-in to the WPT Championship, the poker movie Deal, which stars waxy-looking golden ager Burt Reynolds and features Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth (at right) playing a Las Vegas hooker, hits movie screens tonight in select cities, and already critics are rushing to give it praise.

Just sample some of these rave reviews:

"Deal has to take the title of the worst film ever about the game and that includes the how-to videos with Joan Rivers impersonators you see in your Vegas hotel room." - Erik Childress, efilmcritic.com

"One of the most cliche-ridden and generally misguided films of not just the year, but the decade so far." - Brian Tallerico, Deadbolt.com

"Director/co-writer Gil Cates Jr. gives us a by-the-numbers execution of a by-the-numbers story, which would barely be movie-of-the-week material but for Reynolds's 'star power.'" - LA City Beat

"A poker movie that has the dubious honor of being even worse than Lucky You." - Gary Thompson (but not the Gary Thompson?), Philadelphia Daily News

In related news our highly acclaimed screenplay titled Sitting on the Can While Writing This Post just got greenlit. It's set to be filmed this morning, after our third cup of coffee kicks in. Drop us an email if you want to be an extra.

Below is a video of RawVegas.tv's Denise Pernula prettying up the red carpet at the Deal's premiere last night at the Palms in Las Vegas. Maybe it's us but it's like director Gil Cates Jr. and his producers know they made a piece of crap film. Like they were baked out of their minds when they shot it and now are trying to stop themselves from laughing as they try to talk serious about it. Also in the video, card-tossing couple Jennifer Tilly and Phil Laak talk about their non-plans ahead of the 2008 WSOP, and in news sure to delight ex-WCP reader Carl, Dancing With the Stars' lovebirds Shannon Elizabeth and Ricky Schroder Derek Hough say they are getting married in Las Vegas. Burt Reynolds unfortunately couldn't get out of the Madame Tussaud museum he lives in to walk the red carpet.

Video on RawVegas.tv here.

Poker News Looking 'Sexiest' with Megan Fox

Megan Fox, the tattooedly hot actress from Transformers who is bizarrely banging that dude who dated Donna on the show 90210 which your parents' parents used to watch back in the 20th century, has been voted FHM's Sexiest Woman of 2008. The perennially pretty Jessica Alba and our favorite top dropper Keeley Hazell finished 2nd and 3rd, respectively. A bunch of other chicks you'd toss your girlfriend aside for round out the top 100. Check out the list here. Check out Fox looking stunningly hot in various states of undress below. One of the pics btw is of a short Mexican cop on the Sunsent Strip ... see if you can figure out which one it is.

Some sort of newsy poker links for you . . .

:: We aren't the only really goodlooking guys surprised that Doyle Brunson is a blogger (Click here and here)

:: Apparently Phil Hellmuth can't see too well into Guy Laliberte's soul (Click here)

:: We aren't the only poker news-ers who write about Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars (Click here)

:: If you live wherever it is WTVY News 4 airs, you should play this poker tournament to support our troops (Click here)

:: License plate poker . . . genius! (Click here)

:: Who dunnit? Poker pro son is suspect in poker pro's father murder (Click here)

:: Friendly poker games won't be legal anytime soon in that state with the palmetto tree and Islamic-y looking crescent moon silhouette logo people annoyingly like to wear all around the south (Click here)

:: Maine's Governor John Baldacci hates charity poker games (Click here)

Carl Doesn't Like Our Shannon Elizabeth Dancing with the Stars Coverage

When we started covering Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth (who happens to be on Dancing with the Stars this season), we figured some readers wouldn't like it. But given we're first page Google on Shannon Elizabeth DwtS search terms, and that DwtS is one of the most searched shows on television, well, all we gotta say is Shannon Elizabeth Dancing with the Stars Dancing with the Stars Shannon Elizabeth.

Most readers pretty much "get" what we've been up to with this whole Shannon Elizabeth thing. No complaints. And that's why we love our readers.

But then on occassion you have a reader like Carl. Says Carl via email:

You guys have been deleted from my favorites list. Who did Shannon ElizaBITCH blow at your headquarters that convinced you she needs to be front and center on your opening page for months? Is it poker news or Shannon news? Rename your pitiful site to TMZwickedchops. Thanks for sukin, Your Welcome.

Can't make everyone happy all of the time. Unless you're a girl at a massage parlor.

In related news, Shannon Elizabeth, who plays poker, survived elimination again on Dancing with the Stars. So looks like there's at least one more week of Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars.

Read more Dancing with the Stars Shannon Elizabeth news

Shannon Elizabeth Not Dating Derek Hough...Or Is She???

Rumors were swirling all over the so-called "Internet" yesterday about some racy pictures of Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth making out with her Mormon dancing partner Derek Hough on a Malibu beach.

However, although some contestants on the show revealed that Shannon is now single (for like two weeks, dumping her teacher boyfriend), it looks like those pictures were just part of her Dancing with the Stars intro segment. OR ARE THEY???

Whatever who cares. She's probably banging him though.

While we wouldn't know how to judge a dance routine from a Chinese spelling bee, poker playing Shannon looked pretty good this week from what we could tell, although her 24 score leaves her near the bottom.

Dancing with the Stars Shannon Elizabeth week 6 video

Shannon Elizabeth Shows More, Scores Less

From what we can tell in this latest video, Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth did the right thing by wearing very little clothing this week and showing off those fantastic gams.

However, rereading our post from last week, it appears as if she did not score as highly as she did on her graceful and elegant waltz. Holy shit did we just write that?

Tits boobs breasts 'gine. Ok, feel better now.

Watch the video of Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars above or here.

More Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars.

Deal Set for April 25 Release, DwtS' Shannon Elizabeth Plays Hooker

Deal, the "new" poker movie starring Burt Reynolds, Bret Harrison, and Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth, is finally set for "limited" release on April 25th.

We're not ones to make bold predictions, but we predict that Deal will be closer to Lucky You than to Rounders in the poker movie pantheon (apologies to The Sports Guy, who apparently owns the rights to the word "pantheon" now).

Deal was completed two years ago (never a good sign) and was exec produced by 2005 WSOP final table-ist and magician Scott Lazar (never a good sign).

The plot sets new standards for creativity. A grizzled old vet who has already lost it all (and quit the game) takes a young Yale poker phenom under his wing to help him get to the next level. Young Yale student falls in love with a beautiful girl (played by Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth). Young girl turns out to be a call girl. Young Yale student makes a major tournament final table (WPT, with Mike Sexton and Vince Van Patten calling the shots) where he goes up against grizzled old vet, who decided to play this one last time.

If you'd like a visual representation of the above paragraph, there's a trailer for you below. Or if you'd like to see something more interesting, watch this.

View Deal trailer.

Video: Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars Week 4

To be honest, we only watched about 11 and half seconds of the video of Shannon Elizabeth on Week 4 of Dancing with the Stars last night, but that was enough for us to learn that ballroom dancing is a really dangerous sport, that is, if you have the muscular development of a 11-year-old girl, like Shannon's dance partner Derek Hough (above), and that the waltz is painfully unwatchable and especially sucks when Shannon is wearing enough fabric to escape out the window from the 10th floor of a building.

Interestingly, we did notice that the whatever flowy thing Shannon Elizabeth was wearing last night to cover up every good inch of her body did bring attention to her face, which was looking really pretty. Hopefully we don't have to notice that again.

Watch the video of Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars above or here.

More Shannon Elizabeth on Dancing with the Stars.

The Wicked Chops Poker Awards - Part II

Yesterday we introduced the first part of the possibly first annual Wicked Chops Poker Awards. As promised, today = Part II (which is so important we use Roman numerals instead of just the number "2").

Best Breasts in Poker: J.C. Tran. Listen, we have no idea where the "J.C. Tran has spectacular breasts..." thing came from. Couldn't think of anything else to say about the guy and it randomly popped up and the rest is history. Having said that, look at J.C. Tran's spectacular breasts (at right). Those are without one single doubt the best breasts in poker. Yes, Lacey Jones is the hottest girl in poker, but have you seen J.C.'s breasts? How can you even make an argument that someone has better breasts? You can't. It'd be like arguing against Lionel Hutz. You're winning that one every time, son.

Worst Name of a Potential Cellmate if You're Sent to Prison: Hoyt Corkins. The thought of being "hoyt corkin'd" is utterly terrifying.

Best 2+2 Thread of All-Time: The Sklansky/Hawbaker Dramabomb. It was bound to happen. Rumors swirled about some kind of Sklansky/Hawbaker relationship at last year's WSOP (watch the Brandi Hawbaker interview about it). Then it died down. Went away. Then in late February it just blew the f' up (read the 2+2 thread here), culminating in 2+2 banning any known Brandi Hawbaker associates (and the NWP crew) and Sklansky "alluding" to throwing acid on Brandi's face. This one had it all. In fact, we feel safe in saying that we may never see a poker forum thread involving a 60 year-old dude who keeps a vibrator in his glove compartment and hints at throwing acid on a hot girl's face again. Probably.

Best Neverwin Poker Thread: Justin Smith Rolls Bryan Micon. The sheer creativity in this one wins out over the never-ending supply of messed up NWP threads. After Bryan "King of the Degenerates" Micon got rolled for about $12k by Justin Smith, he turned the fuck-you-machine on full-throttle. Micon wouldn't rest until he got paid back. Be it recording countless phone conversation and putting them online, or releasing one digit of Justin Smith's SSN every hour until he got paid back, this one was constant entertainment. Watch Micon's RawVegas.tv interview on the pwning here.