We know. You've refreshed our site 1,000 times today screaming aloud, "Dammit Entities! Fucking put up numbers 1 and 2 already!" But all good things are worth the wait. So we apologize since this probably wasn't worth the wait. Whatever. Fuck off.
2) Absolute and A.J. Green Give Online Poker A Bad Beat. So, why isn't the Absolute Poker scumbags-super-user-AJ-Green-dipshit our #1 story? Because nobody seems to care anymore. After an initial dip in active players, Absolute's numbers rebounded quickly. The outcry died down. Life went on. Obla di obla da. That's too bad, because: 1) at a time when we're fighting UIGEA legislation, this scandal gives plenty fuel to the fire over the legitimacy of online poker, 2) all of those donks or 9/11-type conspiracy geeks got to say, "I know it! I lost all of that money because people were cheating against me!", and 3) some long-haired a-hole like AJ Green could take online poker players for $7M or so. That just ain't right. Watch Mark Seif's comments on it here, and Dan Druff's thoughts here. Read more here and here.
1) Phil Laak Extorted, and Murder in the Panorama Towers. That's right, we have dual Most Wicked Stories of the Year. Why? Well first, as we noted in our first "top stories" post, doing things two at a time reminds us of how we liked our woman back in the day. But also, both of these stories are messed up enough that they could make really good Lifetime movies. For a recap on both:
:: Some Brit ex-pat living in Thailand named Tom Grant posted a web page claiming that he befriended Phil Laak seven years ago, bailed him out of some trouble, went into an import/export business (drugs) with Laak and then after a snafu, claims that Laak sought to have him and his wife killed for $30,000 for no good reason. He threatened to release damaging evidence to back up these claims, then took down the site after Laak (likely) paid him off. Crazy shit. Read more about it here and good work from Bill Rini on it here (unless his site is still down, which it appears to be now).
:: William "The Manipulator" Gustafik, a 44-year-old Las Vegas chiropractor and poker professional, was found stabbed to death in his condo unit at the Panorama Towers, a luxury high-rise just off the Vegas strip that David Williams moved into as well as Antonio Esfandiari. Turns out his wife, Jill Rockcastle, did it, as she admitted in a 10 page letter, partly because she was sick of him losing money at poker. Naturally, killing someone is a much easier way to resolve a problem then just leaving the guy. Read more here.
All right, that's it. Happy and healthy 2008 to you all. And finally, a little Keeley Hazell to set your year off right here.