« 2 Robbers, 3 Shots & 200 Quarters | Main | Killing More Time... »

20 Ways to Put Your Table on Tilt

Whether it's in a tournament or a ring game, there are a lot of players who look for ways to dig under the skin of others at their table, to get an edge, put people on tilt, and generally annoy the crap out of them. The most effective way can often be to turn over a nice bluff...like showing your 6-3(o) to an opponent that mucked a pair of Kings with an Ace kicker. And of course a major suck out such as pocket ducks taking down rockets on the river with a 3rd deuce can also do the trick.

But what if you're just not that good..or lucky?

Here's 20 ways to put your table on tilt:

1) At the beginning of the game, tell them you’d like to play “similar to the ladies tee rule” of golf. That is, if you go in a pot and don’t win it, you have to take your junk out of your pants for the next hand. And insist that they do this if you win the first hand. No one will want to play a hand with you after that.

2) Any time someone comes over the top and raises you, ask them if “they’d like fries with that.”

3) Whenever somebody is staring at you, trying to figure out if you've made your hand or if you're bluffing, just stare back at them and...wink.

4) Hum the Vonage theme song (woo-ewww-woo-ewweww) every time someone is trying to make a decision whether to call a bet.

5) Yell, “Bring the sugar to booger!” every time you win a pot*.

6) Wear a cowboy hat and torn jeans to your table. Adopt a Texas accent. Give icy stares. Dip. Finally, when you feel someone has bluffed you out of a pot, under your breath say, "I’ve killed a man for doing that before."

7) After EVERY garbage flop (say in this case, 7-4-2), note that you "shouldn't have folded that 7-2." Do this every single time. Even if you didn’t fold your hand and that flop comes up.  Even funnier is to say, “I shouldn’t have folded that 7-4-2.”

8) Every time someone wins a pot from you, ask them where they live.

9) Actively talk to God. Ask him why he hates you so much every time you muck your hold cards, and thank him for his generosity when you raise. For added affect, change "God" with "Allah."

10) When your opponent is counting his or her chips to call or raise the pot, start shouting out random numbers like, "one billion," "five eighths," and "4.77777"

11) Repeatedly tell everyone during the game that you know what cards they have because you were struck by lightning when you were a kid and it gave you X-Ray vision. Then tell them that you’re kidding.  Then start crying because you, “Just can’t stop lying about X-Ray vision.  That’s the only super power I ever really wanted.  F’ flying.  X-Ray vision, man.  That’s where it’s at.”

12) Sit backwards at the table. Only turn around when it is your turn to play.

13) Start rearranging things on the card table during the game, and say things like, "According to the principles of Feng Shui, these cards would promote more harmony if they were harnessing energy from the east.”

14) While others are betting, build a tower with your chips. Try to get it to go as high as possible. If it crashes, say "Oops, it's amazing that I construct office buildings for a living."

15) Pretend you have an imaginary friend named Rufus at the table. Consult him out loud about everything. When an opponent contemplates calling one of your raises, get into a heated debate with Rufus about whether or not the opponent will call.

16) Make out with your hand after winning a big pot.

17) Every time you check your hole cards, say, “Interesting. VERY...interesting.”  Every time.

18) Throughout the game, ask your opponents Seinfeldian  questions like, "What’s the deal with airlplane food?", "What genius came up with the idea to charge for air at the gas station?", and “What’s the deal with homework?  I mean, you’re not working on your home…”

19) Bring a dustbuster to the game. Any time the player next to you drops ashes from his cigar, vacuum underneath him and say, "cleanliness is godliness."

20) In a head-to-head showdown, stare intently at your opponent for several seconds then say, "Have you considered blond highlights in your hair? They'd really complement your stunning green eyes."

*Unfortunately this one has been witnessed before at a real tournament.

How would you psych out an opponent?

Bookmark and Share


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference 20 Ways to Put Your Table on Tilt:


The comments to this entry are closed.

WCP on Twitter

Girls on the Rail at 2008 WSOP


    Our photog at the 2008 WSOP is having a hard time focusing his lens on the pros at the table. We like him for that. Check out girls on the rail here.

Wicked Chops © 2005 - 2008

Protect Your Online Identity

Poker Camp


  • For what's happening in Vegas now, go here.


  • We're kind of digging the snorgtees girls. You should buy their shirts. Check 'em out.

Poker School

Wicked Chops Poker Awards

  • Click here to see which poker players, online sites and hotties we "honored" this year.

The Word on Wicked Chops Poker

  • "Wicked Chops Poker are nobodies, the site is garbage."
    - Anna Benson
  • "A sophisticated and creative blog that pokes rambunctious, irreverent and most of all sexy fun at the game of poker and everyone who is connected with it."
    - PokerMagazine.com
  • "You've made me so angry I wish I could reach into my screen and just pound your scummy worthless head in!!"
    - a Nickelback fan
  • "If you ask me, you should just go straight to Wicked Chops Poker instead. These guys are awesome."
    - Kajagugu Poker
  • "...el blog más irreverente de la blogocosa norteamericana..."
    - Poquer Red
  • "Wicked Chops is wickedly funny. And wickedly irreverent. And posts a lot of photos of wickedly attractive women. If that ain't poker, what is?"
    - TypePad

  • Hear what Jamie Gold has to say about WCP here
  • "If Jamie Gold’s a dickhead; Wicked Chops has to be a medusa head full of dicks."
    - Pokerdog.org

  • Find online poker reviews, news and strategies with bestpoker sites bonuses like party poker bonus code. Also visit for great slots and us poker sites and usa poker reviews.


Busted Tees