A Wal-Mart ‘Ace’ Kicking?

:: snake

In what will amount to absolutely jack squat to the bottom line of behemoth retailer Wal-Mart, a small poker t-shirt company out of Shawnee, Kansas has announced that it will not allow any of Wal-Mart’s 5,000 outlets to carry its line of poker-themed designs. What is not clear from the t-shirt operator’s press release is if Wal-Mart was ever even selling their shirts or whether a deal was in the works. I doubt it. The obviously self-serving, non-news, news release from the merchant states that Wal-Mart's past history of music and book censorship “contributed heavily” to its decision. I wonder if the fact that Wal-Mart would never consider selling this guy’s shirts also “contributed heavily” to his decision.

Choosing a David v. Goliath approach, but coming off more like a barking chihuahua looking for a dog fight with no other dog in sight, the company’s sole proprietor John Carlton states, "It really worries me when big business starts dictating ethics to artists and other creative voices. One of our poker shirts has an obscenity on it. And we're simply not willing to sacrifice our first amendment rights, regardless of what sum of money we stand to make in return."

Listen...

Walmart doesn’t even sell Maxim or FHM and conceals magazines like Cosmo when their covers appeal too much to its customers’ ‘prurient’ interests (that’s bible-speak for “showing skin”). So what makes this guy here think that Wal-Mart, or any brick-and-mortar retailer for that matter, would carry the shirt in question, which features the word that begins in an “F” and ends in “UCK” . . and no, I’m not talking about “Firetruck.” Sure, it’s a nice stab at drumming up some buzz for his company (hey, we’re writing about it here), and yes, Wal-Mart is the big bad evil retailer and shopping mecca of people I just can’t seem to relate to, but if it was me, I would have waited until I had some better designs to sell before making such a racket.

Like most merch guys trying to capitalize on the poker craze, all I see here is clichéd mediocrity, and it’s unfortunate, because I want a good poker tee. But one that says Pocket Rockets and has Aces flying like, guess what, Rockets, ain’t gonna do.

So until they get it straight and lay off the cheese, I recommend laying off the poker themes and opting for the quality+hilarity designs over at our friends Busted Tees.

Oh, and one more thing, stay away from the kind of tee someone like Mrs. Marc Anthony may be caught wearing.

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