Mads, Howabout a Kick in the Junker?

:: snake

Gus Hansen isn't the only Dane in a bit of a poker induced jam.

Mads Junker (seen here heading the ball, click on photo for much better soccer photo), the star striker for Danish soccer club Nordsjælland, has apparently been cheating his "kick in the grass" mates during friendly poker games on bus rides to away games. No word on how he was doing it but according to team manager Johnny Petersen, "Så må han på banen vise de kvaliteter, vi ved, han har."

I think that translates to, "What can you expect from a pseudo faux-hawk headed footballer with a name that rivals everyone's favorite weed tokin' poker player Gank Jungblut?"

Strangely enough, we even asked "smoke 'n the grass" Gank for a comment on the Junker. Here's what he said:

"What? (inhale...long pause...exhale...cough, cough...giggle). Oh, hey Snake, you know what's worse than a (inhale...long pause...exhale...cough, cough) . . . uh, do you have any Doritos?"

"No Gank, please go on with the joke."

"Oh ok, yeh, you know what's worse than a ball hog on the grass?"

"What Gank, what is worse than a ball hog on the grass?"

"You sure you don't have any Doritos man?"

"Gank . . . the joke, finish the joke."

"What joke . . . oh yeh, you know what's worse than a ball hog on the grass?"

"No I don't"

"A grass hog on the bong? (giggle..cough, cough)"

Moving on . . . In other sports/poker playing news, Russian tennis great Yevgeny Kafelnikov (in pic, symbolically holding up the Junker's balls after his teammates get a hold of him) may be retiring from the sport that's made him $24 million richer and earned him an Olympic gold medal for the "sport" that will probably lose him $24 million and a gold medal. The "stubborn Russian nut" (as put by his former coach Larry Stefanki) is currently playing in a poker tournament which guarantees the eventual winner $500,000. Kafelnikov has even hired his comrade Kirill "Don't Call Me KGB" Gerasimov, professional poker's Rookie of the Year in 2002, to teach him about aces off the tennis court.

We could tell you more about Kafelnikov's retirement plans but why talk about a Russian male tennis player when we could be giving you links to hot Russian female tennis players (and don't forget the bonus if you click on the soccer photo above).