“Wicked Chops Poker” Now “Wicked Chops Baccarat”

alternate headline: "THE BONKING OF SIENNA MILLER"

UPDATED: alternate headline #2: "KLEINSTUB . . . MIKE KLEINSTUB: THE NEW BOND?"

:: snake

Always on the leading edge of what’s next in card playing, Wicked Chops Poker has decided to officially change its name to Wicked Chops Baccarat.

Yes, we anticipate this high-stakes game of chance and intrigue, first introduced into France from Italy during the reign of Charles VIII, to be the next big thing. It is already a favorite among Asian-Americans, as well as Asian people in Asia, and last I checked, there are a whole lot of them on this planet. I mean just think of the potential reader base. Plus the new Bond movie, Casino Royale, is about to be filmed, and from what I remember (googled) of Ian Fleming’s book of the same name, James Bond saves the world not because of some farfetched gadget but because he is one bad ass baccarat player. Seriously, think of all the teens around the world who will dream of one day becoming the world champ in baccarat after they see the new Bond flick.

Wait. What’s that you say? They rewrote the story for the new Casino Royale film, and instead of baccarat, 007 will be going heads-up in Texas Hold’em against the Russian Spy Le Chiffre?

Texas Hold’em at the Casino Royale? On the French Riviera?

Uh, ok . . .

So let’s forget everything I just said about Wicked Chops Baccarat. We’ll stick with poker (Addict, can you change that banner back please? Thanks.). As for 007, we’re not so sure he should trade in the “Honda” for “the Cadillac," if you catch my drift, just yet, and it seems many of his groupies aren’t so sure either. For us the reason is simple: the British have never even won a gold bracelet in the main event at the WSOP, and if you can’t beat a field full of Internet yahoos who got in from a $33 satellite, how do you expect to go mano a mano with Le Chiffre (oh, I can hear the hisses from across the pond now). But hey, I’m sorry, I don’t want to risk the fate of the world on some crazy Brit with a pipe dream. I mean, if it came down to "Bond … James Bond" and PokerStars.com final table regular "Kleinstub…Mike Kleinstub", I’d be on Ebay bidding for a piece of the true Texan quicker than Jude Law's Alfie went to video (or quicker than the Brit jumped out of bed when his kid walked in on him with the ugly nanny).

Which brings me to the point of this post: to share with you photos of Law's ex-shag Sienna Miller. What's the connection to James Bond? Well, Sienna apparently was "rodgering" the new James Bond, Daniel Craig (seen here at left pointing gun), who was also her costar in the so-so but worth-every-dollar-seeing-because-of-the-scene-of-her-in-the-hotel-room film Layer Cake (seen here at right unloading gun). Sienna and Craig apparently were “bonking” on the set while her former fiancé Jude Law, who I swear is a “tosser” and “poof,” was “snogging” and “romping” the nanny as well as “shagging” simultaneously Kate Moss and his ex-wife Sadie Frost, and I believe somewhere in there Craig “got a leg over” with Moss and Frost. And despite Craig’s American girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell finding out about him and Sienna “boffing”, the two are still apparently (we’ll keep it American here) “screwing.”

Ah, the life of a Brit. They may not be able to close the deal at the WSOP main event, but really who has time for a gold bracelet when you're busy flopping the nuts with Moss, Frost and Miller.

Comments

[The New bOND]

I do give you permission to use my like ness in a fake picture with the new bond girl...
thanks
Chicago "KLeinstub Bond" Slim
AKA The UMP

[Mike Kleinstub (The New Bond!!)]

Love it..I'll do it
Thanks
Chops..
Tie the Knot
behappy

[jude law is dumb]

oh lordie she is gorgeous

[BlackSpy]

That's me front left in the b/w photo. Damn, I'm sexy.