Kelly Monaco Is Hot, Can Dance, Can't Act, Plays Poker

Sure we could tell you that soap star Kelly Monaco played the first annual LG All-Star Poker Showdown, hosted by Jenny McCarthy, Chris Moneymaker and Johnny Fucking Chan and that, of those three, the person who least belongs in Vegas hosting a poker event is Chris Moneymaker and that Jenny McCarthy always looks hot when she poses for Playboy or FHM but she farts and burps and makes faces too much to make any year-end Wicked Chops Poker Hot List, if we had one, which we should but we don't, at least yet. And we could mention that Jose Canseco and other future cast members of VH1's Surreal Life were there like Paris Hilton, Bijou Phillips, Kevin Sorbo, Sisqo and BoyzIIMen as well as That 70's Show crew of Laura Prepon and Danny Masterson (or is it Chris who is on that show, but anyway, he was there too). Oh and so was Jaime Pressly, who is turning into a Jenny McCarthy by focusing on being funny now instead of just being hot, and speaking of hot, Kelly Carlson was there who indeed looks much better than her character did on the season ending episode of Nip/Tuck. We could also say that this event had a really bad press release that borrowed lyrics from "The Gambler", like every bad poker release, and that the Addict and Snake just missed it because they had to fly back from Vegas earlier that day, and even if they were still there, well if they aren't going to leave the poker tables at the Bellagio to cover Doyle Brunson and the 5 Diamond they ain't going to give up seats to cover some corporate celeb tournie hawking some new LG phone called The 'V' which looks like the bedazzled mobile we saw some flamer using in the Beverly Center last week in LA and when we say flamer we don't mean gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) because strangely enough he was with his wife but flamer because he had a bedazzled mobile and more pink in his outfit than a raunchy issue of Hustler. We could also tell you that Shannon Elizabeth was there at the LG event but don't we already say enough about Shannon Elizabeth and her poker playing exploits? But can you ever say enough about her poker playing exploits, or those of Estella Warren, Katherine Heigl, and Cameron Diaz?

Well, of course you can.

So we'll stop. And just say the Kelly Monaco is hot, can dance, can't act and plays poker.