« Dannenman Chats with ESPN--
Wicked Chops to Follow
| Main | ESPN/Bluff Launches 2006 Fantasy Poker League »

Life Sucks South of Here

MexflagWhat's worse than getting your homegame robbed by a neighbor looking for a few quarters to pad his bankroll?

Living in Mexico.

Oh, and living in Mexico and having everyone in your homegame blown to pieces in a Scarface-style, shoot-up massacre.

That is what happened the other night in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, a town just south of Laredo, Texas (but apparently newer than its American counterpart). While you were watching the Packers get massacred in Baltimore on Monday, five poker players in Nuevo Laredo were merrily playing cards in a mechanic's garage when they were rudely interrupted by men wielding assault rifles, cans of spray paint and tacos. Tossing the spray paint and tacos aside, momentarily, the thugs gunned down the poker players one by one, cashing in three as they sat at the poker table, one as he attempted to check his culo to the exit and the other as he folded to the floor and under a truck (3 points there for the poker metaphors, half point bonus for saying ass in spanish).

Wicked Chops Poker, like the crackpot Mexican authorities who summed things up by saying "They were obviously surprised," have a hunch this was cartel related. Seriously. We're smart like that.

And that means we won't be nominating any of these fellows into our Stupid Poker Criminals Hall of Fame. Why not? Because we believe in the sanctity of life, or put another way, we don't want to die.

Did we really say spray paint and tacos?

All joking aside, life truly must suck south of here. Governments and police are corrupt, poverty runs deep, unemployment is rampant, drug cartels rule the streets and, now, poker players get massacred.

And it's only getting worse (but after the jump it gets better because there are pics of Colombian supermodels).

Map3Consider this recent stat: Kidnappers in Mexico are three times more likely to kill their victims than are their counterparts in Colombia, the country long considered to be the mecca of kidnappings. Indeed, about one out of every seven people kidnapped in Mexico died at the hands of their captors in 2005, compared to one out of every 26 victims in Colombia. In poker terms, that means your chance of getting killed when kidnapped in Mexico is about the same as you catching a set on a flop with pocket pairs (our very own Chops notwithstanding). Meanwhile, the odds of you getting killed in Colombia when kidnapped is more like hitting the runner-runner after flopping two to a flush.

So let's just say we'd take a bad hand in Colombia over Mexico any day.

Anyway, we could go on about things south of here, like how Bolivia just elected a coke-growing communist Indian with an 11th grade education (that's like going to Harvard there) as their leader and how Venezuela is led by a foulmouthed, far-leftist, Castro wannabe thug who we swear also works the evening shift at the Moes Burritos on Ponce, but as you know, we always try to look for the good in the bad, and what's the good in the bad South of here?

The women, of course, who we pay tribute to below. In this case, a Colombian trifecta of Ana Sofia Henao (pic 1 and 2), Sofia Vergara and Claudia Perlwitz.

P.S. If anyone's asking, uh, the Addict wrote this post.


Bookmark and Share


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Life Sucks South of Here :


Jugar Poker


I like all your posts, be it poker related, scoops and even poker gossips, I am a post graduate which is planning to start her career as a Poker girl....I have a simple static blog about Jugar Poker and Juega poker, though I am not a professional Poker player and I am looking forward to learn a bit more about poker industry, hints, tips and useful strategies.

I must tell everyone, I read this blog often to update my knowledge about Poker and Industry

Thank you

The beautiful single chick.
Juega Poker


life sucks so hard,man


That tacos comments kills me...kills me...kills me like I was playing a game of poker in Mexico.

The comments to this entry are closed.

WCP on Twitter

Girls on the Rail at 2008 WSOP


    Our photog at the 2008 WSOP is having a hard time focusing his lens on the pros at the table. We like him for that. Check out girls on the rail here.

Wicked Chops © 2005 - 2008

Protect Your Online Identity

Poker Camp



  • We're kind of digging the snorgtees girls. You should buy their shirts. Check 'em out.

Poker School

Wicked Chops Poker Awards

  • Click here to see which poker players, online sites and hotties we "honored" this year.

The Word on Wicked Chops Poker

  • "Wicked Chops Poker are nobodies, the site is garbage."
    - Anna Benson
  • "A sophisticated and creative blog that pokes rambunctious, irreverent and most of all sexy fun at the game of poker and everyone who is connected with it."
    - PokerMagazine.com
  • "You've made me so angry I wish I could reach into my screen and just pound your scummy worthless head in!!"
    - a Nickelback fan
  • "If you ask me, you should just go straight to Wicked Chops Poker instead. These guys are awesome."
    - Kajagugu Poker
  • "...el blog más irreverente de la blogocosa norteamericana..."
    - Poquer Red
  • "Wicked Chops is wickedly funny. And wickedly irreverent. And posts a lot of photos of wickedly attractive women. If that ain't poker, what is?"
    - TypePad

  • Hear what Jamie Gold has to say about WCP here
  • "If Jamie Gold’s a dickhead; Wicked Chops has to be a medusa head full of dicks."
    - Pokerdog.org

  • Find online poker reviews, news and strategies with bestpoker sites bonuses like party poker bonus code. Also visit for great slots and us poker sites and usa poker reviews.


Busted Tees