The TOKE: Poker Pro Endorsement Deals, Tools of the Trade, + Get Your Moneymaker for Nothing and Chips for Free

:: Some site that sells things sponsors these people and stuff.  This site called Sports-Stuff.com Inc. (http://www.sports-stuff.com), that claims to be “a publisher and distributor of sports and entertainment for wide scale mobile platforms” (whatever that means) has “secured exclusive wireless rights” (whatever that means) with Men the Master, David Williams, and Evelyn Ng (pictured right).   On one hand, it’s great seeing poker players endorsing non-poker products.  On the other, what the hell does this company actually do?  Looks shady.  And who named this company, Chris Shilts?  PR Newswire 

:: Tools to make you less of a tool.  Nice summary in Betting for Value on some various apps and software to improve your game.  Nothing funny, denigrating, or even witty to add on our end.  That’s all we got.  Just check it out.  Betting for Value

:: Moneymaker Has More Fun Not Making Money.  Chris Moneymaker is playing in some amorphously vague promotional game out in West Palm Beach.  He says, "When I play for thousands and thousands of dollars it's not fun. That's work. I'm there to make money. I'm here to have fun."  Don’t know about you, but playing for thousands of dollars is VERY fun for us.  Of course, given he’s made $44,229 since his 2nd place at the WPT Bay 101 event in 2004 (and no tournament cashes in 2005), maybe playing for fun is the way to go.  Palm Beach Post

Chris Shilts Is a Very Bad Man

When we first reported on Chris Shilts, the Salt Lake City owner of a poker supply outlet indicted on federal charges for setting his store on fire (an act that earned him a spot in our Stupid Poker Criminal Hall of Fame), we heard from a few people who knew a little something about this character, like his mom (Hi Cindy), as well as a few people in Pennsylvania and Oregon who claimed to be defrauded by Shilts on e-Bay.

But since none of their allegations of online fraud were being reported in the news at the time, and we had no way of verifying them, well, we really didn't know what to make of their claims.

Until now.

Local news in Salt Lake City is reporting that Shilts has been indicted by a federal grand jury for using e-Bay to sell two vehicles--a Nissan Titan truck and a BMW 325xi--that he was leasing, along with a heavily mortgaged Capri speedboat. In other words, he didn't own the title to these vehicles he sold for a total of about $85k, and indeed, these are the exact same charges posted in the comment section of our site over the past month (some of which were removed at the request of the individuals involved).

Jonathan Boyd, the Assistant US Attorney in Utah said: "He defrauded people from Pennsylvania, Arizona, Oregon, and Texas, and basically defrauded them out of tens of thousands of dollars."

Read the news reports here, here and here and click on the video image to see the TV news report on Shilts. My favorite comment is Shilts predicting, correctly I might add, that: "I will not make a penny off of this."

The TOKE: POY Update, Was AK-Rod Here too?? + What Would Anurag Dikshit Do?

:: Who is the best poker player in the universe? (according to a convoluted point ranking system)  The CardPlayer-Bodog POY race is winding down, with John Phan still in the lead.  As we reported last month, Bodog and CardPlayer have teamed up to award their POY.  This will obviously yield one helluva awards gala decked and stacked with the finest Bodog babes (this month's featured girl at right).  Also of note, that player list looks much different than the Bluff/ESPN rankings. Hopefully the BCS will get involved and add some clarity to the whole situation.  CardPlayer | Poker News

:: You can't play cards at Camden Yards.  Big poker bust near a refurbished Camden Yards warehouse.  An email advertising a $12,000 first prize package to Foxwoods led police to the illegal room, where 80 were busted and charged.  Just before the bust, AK-Rod was seen sneaking out of the warehouse.  Ok, we made that part up. Baltimore Sun

:: Et tu, PartyGaming? Ah, the fall of an Empire. Looks like PartyGaming is pulling a Brutus and stabbing Empire Poker in the back. They help tank the stock price and then make a move to buy them out. Classic. Gordon Gecko/Blue Star classic. Times Online | OddJack

Tiffany Williamson: Crazy Bitch

Disclaimer: Wicked Chops Poker loves women.  We admire women, as the photos on our site suggest.  And we respect women...in particular women poker players.  Our respect for women is evidenced by two very healthy (and one-soon-to-be healthy) marriages.  So please note that Wicked Chops Poker would never, EVER seriously call a woman a bitch. 

Tiffany Williamson is a crazy bitch.

Seriously, that bitch is crazy.

Last week, we detailed why Steve Dannenmann will forever be known as the Weaz.  This week, a new nickname for a new face of poker must be dolled out.  And that nickname goes to Tiffany Williamson. 

Because after watching her "play", the only logical conclusion to describe her illogical play is this: she's one crazy ass bitch.

Keep in mind, Wicked Chops Poker doesn't actually think Tiffany Williamson is a bitch.  From what we observed of her at the WSOP, she seemed like good people.  Very nice.  So technically, she's not a bitch. 

She just plays like a crazy person.

Michael "I'm a machine" Mitzrachi is nuts.  Layne Flack can be maniacal.  But risking their entire tournament life (deeeeeep into the WSOP ME) on an all-in re-raise with A-7 against Q-Q?  That's fucking crazy.

No kidding, that bitch is nuttier than a Mr. Goodbar.

How crazy is Tiffany Williamson?  Consider the following examples:

Gisele Bundchen is Hot, Hates Poker

:: snake

We first reported back in August that super hottie Gisele Bundchen was feeling neglected because her beau Leonardo DiCaprio was more interested in hitting backdoor flushes at the poker table than hitting her, uh, backdoor, which is, in my humble judgment, simply some of the finest work the Man Upstairs has ever created.

Seriously, well done Sir. Well done.

Actually, while I’m complementing Your craftmanship let me also say thank You for Brazil, the women there that is. And oh yeh, female Russian tennis players too. I’m sorry You had to make all the men there look like egors, but it is nothing short of a miracle that Russian men and women somehow are spawn from the same gene pool. Truly must be Divine Intervention.

Crap, was that lightning? But there’s not a cloud in the sky.

Ok finally, I’m very sorry that Chops managed to put up the worse photo ever of Anna Kournikova on our recent Toke post, I promise it will not happen again, and I will make up for it with some photos on the following page.

Doyle Proves You Can Teach an Old Bodog New Tricks

The incomparable Doyle Brunson has just upped the ante in the high stakes game of movie stars, models and poker, and we're now waiting to see if Bodog's Calvin Ayre (seen below) has what it takes to come in for a raise of his own or will he fold in the presence of the Great One.

Alright, annoying poker metaphors aside, we've long called Bodog's Ayre the "Hef of Online Gaming" but Doyle Brunson may just be moving in on the title and relegating Ayre to Joe Francis status as evidenced by the recent DoylesRoom.com-sponsored party at the new Bellago nightclub Light.

In attendance to honor Brunson were Hollywood A-listers like Leonardo DiCaprio and Nicky Hilton, poker pros including Gus Hansen, Devilfish Ulliott, TJ Cloutier, Sam Farha and Jennifer and Marco Tranielllo and most importantly a new crop of DoylesRoom.com models, who were no doubt a 4-class upgrade from the unfortunate DoylesRoom.com fuglies we witnessed walking around during the 2005 WSOP and reported on here. Indeed, from the pics we've seen of this latest event, it looks to be much more like an Ayre-style affair than the DoylesRoom.com shindig we attended in July at the Rio.

Photos after the jump...

Demi Moore is Old, Hates Poker

:: snake

There’s a rumor floating around that Ashton Kutcher’s fetish for poker and porn may be bringing the newlywed pair’s proverbial honeymoon to an end. Reported recently in the Ottawa Sun, Ashton’s old lady apparently doesn’t like all the time he spends playing poker with his friends in their mansion (that’s the same place he got all sad about that stuff down in New Orleans and did something about it by paying $14,000 to get private poker lessons from Annie Duke), and to top it off, the Striptease star has also laid down the law on Ashton’s porn collection, which our sources (the voices in my head) tell us is kept in the warehouse seen here in this photo.

Seriously though, I’m truly sad about all of this, even if it is happening to some dude who can’t seem to find either his car or a good film script, because no man--or child in Ashton’s case--should suffer at the hands of an older woman just because his love for poker will be around longer than his lady’s breasts stay north of her navel; unless of course the suffering involves the prettiest elder of all, Michelle Pfieffer, dressed as a dominatrix Catwoman in a room decorated like a dungeon that’s full of whips and she spanks you every time you say “reraise” (yeh, like you never fantasized about that).

AK-Rod Scolded for Loose Play

As reported here last month, AK-Rod has been spotted in illegal poker clubs all over NYC.  Now multiple media outlets are reporting that the New York Yankees have apparently warned AK-Rod that “playing poker in illegal clubs could be dangerous and harmful to his image.” 

And to this warning and the subsequent AK-Rod backlash, Wicked Chops Poker would like to start the following Bad News Bears in Breaking Training-esque chant (picture William Devane at the Astrodome):

“Let him play!  Let him play!”

That’s right.  We refuse to pile on AK-Rod because he’s been spotted at illegal poker clubs.  We here at Wicked Chops Poker praise him. 

If there’s one elite player in all of sports with absolutely zero street cred, it’s AK-Rod.  He makes Peyton Manning seem ghetto. 

Mouth + Raymer Redemption Spotlight Tonight's WSOP Coverage

Sure, Joe Hachem won the $7.5 mil WSOP ME first prize in a grueling heads-up battle against the Weaz.  But the real focus of this year's WSOP, the topics that everyone wanted to discuss, revolved around two totally different forms of redemption from two totally different players: Mike "the Mouth" Matusow and his 2004 nemesis, Greg Raymer. 

Tonight, both get their-fair-share-of-face-time with ESPN's continued WSOP coverage.

Matusow spent six month in the clink before coming out and playing the best poker of his life during the WSOP ME.  Expertly working his way through the massive field, Matusow rebuilt his rep as one of the best NLH players in the world.

Maybe because of the glasses, maybe because he was an Internet-qualifier many thought would flame-out like Chris Moneymaker, but Greg Raymer never gained the full respect that some of his 2004 final table opponents, such as Josh Arieh and David Williams, received.  However, Raymer's overall 2005 WSOP performance was even more impressive than last year's world championship bracelet victory.  Raymer cashed in three 2005 WSOP events (including a final table appearance), and if not for a river suck-out, would likely have cruised to another ME final table.  Best of all, when he wasn't busting every player in sight, he was threatening to bust a weirdo spectator's head open.

The TOKE: Politburo Poker, Poker is OK in the UK, but Not So Much in the US

:: I Chechen Raise You.  As seen in the photo at right from the Moscow Times, poker apparently is huge in Russia with retarded people.  Or just in general.  But what would surely make Lenin (Vlad, not John) turn over in his air-tight tomb, the sport that has swept the US and UK is now hotter in Russia than Anna Kournikova (whose photo we'll include below to erase the image at right out of your memory).  Moscow Times

:: And the Fad Keeps Growing… On the heels of PartyGaming's recent positive financial reports, 888 reported a 56% increase in its third quarter revenue.  Also, the World Poker Tour has just announced that it will be the first poker show to broadcast in primetime in the UK (on the ITV4 network).  Yes, poker this poker fad is quickly fading away.  Reuters UK  | PR Newswire

:: …As the Debate Continues in the States.   While the news is all positive across the Atlantic, red states are seeing red over the issue of poker’s legality.  The Bismark Tribune editorializes today about its state’s (that would be North Dakota) online poker legislative initiative.  And in Illinois, house Democrats took a step back into the 19th century by voting to ban casino gambling.  That sound you hear is Wicked Chops Poker revving the Phil Gordon for President campaign engine.  Of course, we'd like to see John Sabini to join him on the ticket.  Bismark Tribune | Launch Poker

Official ESPN-Bluff Partnership Announced

As reported by Wicked Chops Poker last week, ESPN and Bluff Media publicly announced their strategic parternship today. 

Bluff will now be the exclusive content provider for ESPN's Poker Club, among other joint initiatives.  By our analysis, this is a smart move by ESPN to enhance their poker presence, and an even better alliance for Bluff, clearly positioning itself as a leader in the increasingly crowded poker media field.  Or as two-time 2005 WSOP bracelet winner Mark Seif put it today, "I think its a match made in heaven. The fact of the matter is that Bluff Magazine is and has been the leader in this industry since the time they have came into it.  ESPN, with having the WSOP and their play money site and content, brings two poker powerhouses together, and thats a good thing."

Read the full press release.

BlackSpy Tourney Results

Congratulations to bstonekilla for winning the BlackSpy Worst iPod Playlist Ever Invitational. 

Flopping sets like his name was Chops, bstonekilla bested (in reverse order of disappearance) Feldman, the Addict, Kleinstub, Chops, and Snake at the final table to take the tournament. 

Special thanks to BlackSpy for putting this shindig together.