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A Week On the Bubble:
When Poker is for the DAWGS

Chops here.

As much as I hate to admit it, I sure do love a good complainin’ every now and then.

ChopshammeredI have no right to complain about much, really.  I know this.  People like me should never complain.  I have it good. 

It’s the people you usually don’t hear complaining who really have something to complain about.  Not me.  Petty little things like college football games or losing a hand you’re a 4-1 favorite to win pre-flop shouldn’t affect me in the grand scheme of things.

So the events that have transpired the past week shouldn’t have me complaining.  They shouldn’t make we want to drink heavily like I was between the ages of 17-28 again.  You know, that uncontrollable vomit-inducing kind of binging.  The kind many of you likely still do.

But for me, the last week was my own personal helluva a week on the bubble.

In poker, I hate the bubble.  I hate that excruciatingly long period until the bubble bursts, when everyone is playing like a fucking baby, waiting for the short-stacks to go night-night.  I understand why it happens, but it doesn’t irritate me any less because I understand it. 

Bub I played in four 250-400 person tournaments late last week.  I cashed in one.  I went out mid-pack in another.

And in the other two, where the top 18 paid, I finished 19th. 

Yep, twice in two days I was the bubble boy.

I figured this would happen eventually.  I’ve done very well recently, and I figured I was due for a gutblow like this.  While short-stacked in both tournaments, I wasn’t THE short-stack either time, and I had my money in with the best of it when I went out both times, hoping to chip up so I had some fighting chance to get to the bigger payday.  But I got outdrawn both times, and that happens.

But it still sucks. 

But do you know what really sucks?  How the DAWGS played last night in the Sugar Bowl.

RichtmoronFrom a fan’s perspective, it was the ultimate “bubble” performance. 

I’ve been railing on “coach” Mark Richt for some time now.  Long before most, if not all.  Last night he proved what I’ve been saying all along: he’s the Bobby Cox of college football coaches.

I realize that under Richt, we’ll always have a good team.  We may win a few “division titles” (SEC crowns), but as long as he’s coach, we’ll consistently disappoint when it matters most.

I was at the Sugar Bowl last night.  When we were down 28-0 in the first 21 minutes, I was ready to leave.  We were being out-coached, we looked totally unprepared, and I didn’t want to sit there and watch my team get thoroughly thrashed.  But I was talked into staying for one more DAWGS offensive series, we scored, and I stuck around.

This was tantamount to playing in a poker tournament when you know it’s not your best day and you’re not totally into it…BUT when you also know you have enough talent to compete and compete well.  You think your talent will trump all, and you’ll pull through.

UglychadThat’s what I thought about my DAWGS.  “This is WVU.” I thought.  “There’s no way they’ll beat us in essentially a home game.  There’s no way a team as talent-laden as ours will lose to a school filled with a bunch of inbred sister-fuckers.  We’re the fucking DAWGS man!” I thought as I looked at a typical WVU student like the one at left.

I thought wrong.

But I kept thinking we’d “cash.”  When it was 38-35 in the 4th quarter, I kept telling myself, “Wow, we’re going to get dealt pocket Aces here when WVU over-commits to Q-T pre-flop, and then we’ll double-through them and be in the money!”

Ok, I never thought that, but it was similar: “We’ll just stop them on this series and get the ball back, march down the field and score.  Oh great!  We stopped them.  It’s 4th down!  What’s this?  A WVU time-out?  That’s odd.  Surely they’re going to try a fake punt here.  Why else would they call this odd time out?  I can’t believe they’re going to get so “cutesy” and over-commit to some obviously gimmicky fake punt here and give us great field position for the win!!!  Surely Richt and the DAWGS coaching staff sees this coming.  Everyone in my section here seems to think it’s going to be a fake punt too!!!”

Seriously.  They did.  We were all yelling, “Watch the punter!” before the football ever reached that scrawny little punter’s hands.

But alas, Richt and the DAWGS never saw it coming, and all of us fans were c—kteased into a near-cashing by the DAWGS.

Perfect ending to my week on the bubble.  PERFECT. 

If nothing else, I can take satisfaction in knowing that all of my loose bubble ends have been tied up. 

Which is one less thing for me to complain about.

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When Poker is for the DAWGS



Funny thing, I had to reread the story to have any idea what you were talking about...that's how delusional that game made me. That 24-hour period or so after the game is a total fog...didn't happen. And oh yeah, go fuck yourself for reminding me.


was this a serious story?
I mean, I'm down with the metaphors and all that, but to say something like "over commit with Q-10 pre-flop" in the context of a football game??? I've used the term "poker-nerd" before and I almost....no, make that definitely...feel it's appropriate here.


You know, I'm OK with being an unattractive girl. That's not a bad thing.


i guess you never thought Kristy McNichol was hot.


That chick in the blue sweater is easily the ugliest girl you've ever put on this website.


at least you didnt have Musburger calling your game while hearing how Hawk is banging your QB's sis every 5 seconds as your team got mightily beaten by a bunch of track stars and one helluva a play caller.

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