The Blogfiles: Kid Dynamite's Friday In Vegas

"Famke 'Petra' Janssen lives in my 'hood, and I finally saw her at the dog run yesterday.  I tried to get Oscar to hump either, a) her dog, or b) her leg, but he wasn't cooperating.  She kept to herself, and never looked up from her blackberry.. I was just waiting to go up to her and say, 'Thanks for making this easy Mike.'" - Kid Dynamite

Kid Dynamite's Friday In Vegas blog is funny.  Very funny.  Think TBS, but funnier.  It's one of our daily reads, and not just because we hope KD will somehow take and post a few good pics of his neighbor, Famke Janssen.  So in our continuing effort to showcase the best and brightest of the poker blogging community, we present to you on this fine Thursday afternoon Kid Dynamite's Friday In Vegas.

WCP: When and why did you launch Kid Dynamite's Friday in Vegas?

KD: I have a core group of poker friends who I'd always email my game recaps and trip reports to.  We'd talk theory, analyze hands, etc.  Eventually, it got to the point where I was sending so many emails I just decided to throw it online and see what came of it.  I think it was about a year ago - which turned out to be about 150 posts on FridayInVegas.blogspot.com.  With a full time job, its hard to maintain a place in the "real world" and the "blog world."  I'm not really part of the blogger cool crew who play together on Party or Stars every night, and play in all their own blogger events and hang out in Vegas together (I did take 14th out of 2000+ in the Pokerstars Blogger Freeroll though - RESPECT).  I basically write for my own amusement, and the enjoyment of whomever wants to read my ramblings. And when I go to Vegas - I go with my own crew.  And it's ALWAYS blog-worthy.

I'm usually pretty amused by my own writing, and my handful of readers who have actually been on these Vegas trips with me know exactly where I'm coming from.

WCP: Don't you know that by sheer nature of the word, a "blogger" can never really be cool? 

KD: Yeah. that's true.  I was cool once, then I started blogging...

WCP: Please, explain the genesis of the name Kid Dynamite...

KD: The first time I played a live NL Hold'em tourney (I think this was back in 2002), at the legendary Playstation (now defunct) on 14th street in NYC, I ended up taking down $1900+ when we chopped the prize money at the final table.  My poker skill back then was a mere shadow of what it is today, but my table presence was explosive. I'd lie in wait, and occasionally spring to life with an aggressive play.  No one knew me there, it was "Who is this Kid?"  And in my trip recap, I became "Kid Dynamite."

WCP: If you had to apply the name Kid Dynamite to a field other than poker, do you think it best suits being: a) a super-hero, b) a professional wrestler, c) a roller derbyier, d) an actuary, or e) a TNT
blast specialist...

KD: As you probably know, there was already a wrestler called The Dynamite Kid, so that's pretty much been done.  I'd have to be a real prodigy to be a TNT blast specialist called Kid Dynamite, and hopefully an actuary wouldn't blow up enough clients to earn that moniker.  Roller Derby is a natural - of course Kid Dynamite the roller derbyier would need a ridiculous "blow up" routine whenever he scored a point.

WCP: Which is worse, cleaning up your puppy Oscar's poop or having a 2-3 outer sucked out on you?

KD: Taking a 3-outer in the ass (insert David Williams joke here) on the river of a $1200 pot is much worse than picking up Oscar's poop.

WCP: If you were a movie director, and got to direct a movie on Doyle Brunson's early life, who would you want to play Doyle Brunson?

KD: Excellent question, since I've actually been fantasizing about writing a screenplay, which would basically be the Kid Dynamite Story, only with all the exciting things I'm missing:  drugs, hookers, and a downward spiral of gambling addiction.  In the KD Story -  I was talking about this last night with my wife -  Scott Caan would play me, and Mrs. Dynamite said she wanted Alyssa Milano to play her.  I think she's selling herself short, but anyway...

So back to Doyle:  My initial thought is Matthew McConaughey - but that's mostly just because of his southern drawl - he's too much of a douchebag to play Doyle.  Hmmm...Christopher Walken would play the grown up Doyle, and I guess Kiefer "Jack Bauer" Sutherland would play young Doyle!

Editor's Note: To view the list of hilarious Jack Bauer facts, click this under-lined thingy here.

WCP: Same question, but replace "Doyle Brunson" with "Robert Varkonyi"...

KD: Jonathan Lipnicki, the kid from Jerry Maguire comes to mind, but he may be a little too likeable.  Maybe Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite would be good, but he'd have to play Varkonyi just like he plays Napoleon Dynamite.

WCP: Hotter Alyssa Milano: Poison Ivy years ('96), Charmed years (present), or Who's the Boss years (um, younger)?

KD: I'd have to say present age Alyssa.  Something about the Maxim/FHM world has made even the good girls go bad - in a good way. Back during the Who's the Boss era though, I was more of a Nicole Eggert in Charles in Charge fan.

WCP: You're up in NYC?  Does that city EVER sleep???

KD: You know what, nowadays I wake up by 8am on weekends, and that's a really interesting time to see how the city sleeps at times when you think it should be awake. I can find a fresh slice of pizza or a falafel sandwich at 2am, but not at 10am.

Of course, when I am sleeping, the city never is a never ending stream of douchebags who roll past my first floor apartment window, drunk, and yelling at all hours of every night.

WCP: We've always been intrigued by the whole poker blogger/real-life 9-5'er dynamic.  Do your co-workers know you to be Kid Dynamite, the famous poker blogger/roller derbyist?

KD: You know, this is interesting, because there's a potentially HUGE network of people I know who would be interested in my blog, but I work on Wall Street, and with the way information flows on Wall Street, I basically decided to keep it separate.  It's not a secret or anything, they all know I play poker, and some even know me as Kid Dynamite,  but there's potentially more downside to someone taking offense to something I write (ie, David Williams eating ass) and there being repercussions.

Editor's Note: KD and crew at right.

WCP: Which sounds potentially less appealing to you in the real world, chasing a back-door straight, or someone flopping the nuts on you?

KD: Laughing out loud... I think chasing a back-door straight sounds like a normal Friday night single-guy-on-the-prowl activity. I mean, isn't that the jackpot?

KD: "What are you up to tonight?"
Big Show: "I'm gonna go to the club and chase a back door straight."

And that's in the purely hetero way, not in the Danny Negreanu way - not that there's anything wrong with that.

Someone flopping the nuts on me sounds horrifying.

WCP: You were in Vegas last January while the WCP group was there...how'd you fare?

KD: Ahh...that was a good trip.  Can't believe I missed you guys.  From what I hear, you were still at the Caesar's poker room when I stumbled out of Pure!  Read the trip reports (below)!

http://fridayinvegas.blogspot.com/2006/01/vegas-winter-assault-2006-part-1.html
http://fridayinvegas.blogspot.com/2006/01/six-sigma-sunday.html
http://fridayinvegas.blogspot.com/2006/01/special-guest-post.html

I finished up about a dime.  That Six Sigma Sunday game at Mirage was the most amazing thing I've ever seen at a poker table.  Impossible to describe fully without pictures.  Just read my trip reports (posts of fame section on my blog).

WCP: What's your favorite Vegas cardroom? 

KD: I've always been a Mirage guy.  They have the best and friendliest dealers, and reasonably game structures (ie, 2-5NL $500 buy-in).  Now I also like the Wynn, as they have a more comfortable room, and even BETTER structure (no capped buy ins), but the $3 peach chips are too much of a bastardization.  The Wynn hotel rooms are a class above the Mirage though, and both places have a good poker rate.

Bellagio is on a whole different level, but at the limit I'm playing (usually 2-5NL), their game is a total joke.  They have a min/max buy-in of $200 or $300 or something completely retarded like that.  If I
played $10-20 NL I'd play at Bellagio for sure.  Bellagio is the best place to go to see poker celebrities.

WCP: Finally, give us your dream six-person table...can be living, dead, or fictitious...

KD: The money question.

Seat 1: Layne Flack - The guy is lethal, and wacky too. He'd be a lot of fun to play with, and I could learn a lot from his game.

Seat 2: Jack Bauer (from Fox's "24") - Every time Layne bet, Bauer would bluff raise, and I'd be sitting in seat three waiting to mop up.  I mean, can't you see Jack Bauer at the poker table: "YOU DO NOT WANT TO TEST ME!  LAY DOWN THE HAND!  DROP IT RIGHT NOW!"

Editor's Note:  For the hell of it, Jack Bauer's TV daughter, Elisha Cuthbert, at right.

Seat 3:  Kid Dynamite (I have to be at the table).

Seat 4:  Evy Ng: I need to know what she did to turn Danny Negreanu gay (not that there's anything wrong with that ;-)  - I'm a big Negreanu fan in fact).  Also, one of my friends, who wishes to remain anonymous, hooked up with her in a booth at Drai's one night.  True story!

Seat 5: David "Backdoor" Williams:  My implied TILT odds (credit the TILTboys) are off the charts. I think I could make him punch me in the face.  Then I'd take his stack.

Do I have to keep it 6 handed?  I need at least one more trash talker:  someone in the Mike 'the Mouth' Matusow or Tony G class, and then someone else VIOLENTLY tiltable, like Phil "Douchebag of the Year" Hellmuth.  Then I think I'd like to play with my main man Bruce Springsteen. I could always TILT him by singing his own songs out loud at the table.  I'd like to play with the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger too.

If you made me choose one for the sixth seat, I'd take the Boss, Springsteen.  If we were 10-handed, I'd add Ahhhnold, and I guess Mike 'the Mouth', Tony G AND Hellmuth.  That would be explosive.

Wait. I just realized Vince McMahon would have to be at the table...this isn't a fair question.  I could write 5000 words on this issue.  And how about Bill Clinton, so that when David Williams sucked out
through the back door (CHA CHING!), Bill could turn and say "I...feel...your...pain..." as only he can...

I better stop now.

Dream 10 handed table:

Layne Flack
Jack Bauer
Kid Dynamite
Evvy Ng
David WIlliams
Bruce Springsteen
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Vince McMahon
Bill Clinton
Ron Jeremy

I could ask Ron Jeremy questions for six hours non-stop.

WCP: Can we really add anything to that?  It's a wrap...

Comments

[Kid Dynamite]

so Chops - did you see what happened to Bobby Bracelet? seems his work life and blog life crossed... and he had to kill the blog... that's what we were talking about!

[Kid Dynamite]

thanks for the props guys... and kudos for the Dynamite Kid photo, and of course the gratuitious Nicole Eggert and E-cuth photos.

-KD