Keeley Hazell Hasn't Nabbed Role In Poker Movie "The Grand" Yet

Wicked Chops Poker learned today that Keeley Hazell, the soon-to-be Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006, has not yet landed a part in Zak Penn's upcoming poker movie, The Grand.

"The fact that Keeley's name hasn't come up yet in any of the stories we've read about The Grand makes us fairly certain of this," explained The Addict, of WickedChopsPoker.com.

News of Keeley not yet being offered a part comes days after the announcement that Dennis Farina has left "Law & Order" to appear in The Grand, which would be the story here if Dennis Farina had the world's most spectacular God-given "boobs" (NSFW link) and spoke with a British accent.

But last we checked, he doesn't, so we're going with the Keeley angle.

While Keeley has yet to land a big role on the big screen, the bodacious Brit beauty who's built like a battleship (and makes alliteration fun) will make her film debut this year in Cashback, which is the the full-length adaption of Sean Ellis' award winning short of the same name. According to IMDB, the titillating temptress with the terrific tits (see, fun) plays the part of "Naked Girl," a role that is very similar to the character she "portrayed" in the uplifting documentary short, "Big Boobs," and in the smash-hit prequel to "Big Boobs," "Keeley Hazell in the Bathroom."

For the unacquainted, The Grand is being touted as a Waiting for Guffman-like mockumentary on the world of tournament poker and will be directed by Zak Penn, who most recently scribed the screenplay for X-Men: The Last Stand. According to Variety, Penn has already penned a general storyline for The Grand, but will leave the dialogue and poker play completely up to the ensemble cast that consists in large part of the usual "Celebrity Poker Showdown" suspects, including Ray Romano, Jason Alexander, Cheryl Hines, David Cross and Richard Kind. Also joining the cast will be Woody Harrelson, Ray "I Need Another Goodfellas Quick" Liotta, Gabe "Mr. Kotter" Kaplan and enigmatic German director Werner Herzog.

Inexplicably not in the cast, considering they're pulling from the "Celebrity Poker Showdown" ranks, are Michael Ian Black and Brad "I'm Urinating Right Now" Garrett, who both are decent players and most importantly for this film, have wicked improvisational chops.

Filming of The Grand begins in July at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas and the film is set for release in 2007.

Comments

[Kid Dynamite]

i'm MISTER spray bottle.. done.

[snake]

KD ...does that mean you're not giving "Keeley in the Bathtub" your thumbs up...or your whatever up?

next time i'll hire ya to handle spray bottle duties...if you're game.

[Kid Dynamite]

who the FUCK wears bikini bottoms in the bathtub or shower? Chops, I BEG you to rectify this situation... unacceptable. We must re-shoot.

-KD