Entities that Comprise Wicked Chops Poker 2007 New Year's Resolutions

If you're like us, you're wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, wildly attractive, hung like an elephant trunk, help fund militia guerrilla movements in third world countries to topple oppressive regimes, and hate making New Year's resolutions.

However, our hatred of making New Year's resolutions doesn't stop us from making New Year's resolutions. In fact, out of pure spite for those people who do make New Year's resolutions, us Entities annually make our vows for the upcoming year and follow through on them, unlike 95% of the mass populace. While we can surely promise you we will forget to keep you updated on our progress on our resolutions (listed after the jump) during 2007, that doesn't mean we aren't committed to making them happen. And while we don't really care, if you have resolutions of your own, let us know what they are anyway. It's like we'll be one big happy New Year's resolution family!

A Look Back: Wicked Chops Poker's 2006 Year In Review Recap Because Hindsight is Retrospect (Part III)

For the Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker, 2006 presented us with some amazing trips...which consequently led to some of the craziest bedlam ensuing trip reports we've ever reported. From midget orgies to mobile meth labs to cleaning our plates at the Coffee Shop at TI, we somehow, as Madonna would say, lived to tell about it all.

And just when we thought that there's NO WAY any more bedlam could possibly ensue...seriously it would be Mongolodian if it did...along came last week. And more bedlam ensued. As the Entities found themselves in Tijuana running as fast as they could from El Diablo Blanco. More on this after the New Year. For now, feast on these bedlam ensuing tales:

Vegas Trip Report #1
Vegas Trip Report #2
Vegas Trip Report #3
State Lottery Trip Report

Friday Night Parting Shot: Savannah (Redux)

A few weeks ago, we heard from one of our favorite FNPS Girls, Savannah, or as you may recall, the 20-year-old, blonde-hair, brown-eyed, cowboy boot wearin' Georgia girl with "a fluffy little bunny named Peaches."

"Love you guys!! :)," Savannah commented over at the Wicked Chops Poker MySpace page, along with a photo of her wearing a limited edition Wicked Chops Poker tank (seen at right).

We then ventured over to her MySpace page (when in Rome) to see what's new and noticed that she had done a recent photo shoot that was, shall we say, a bit a helluva lot more daring (read: absurdly hot/sexy/borderline uncomfortable for a married man to look at) than the much more innocent ones we first posted.

So, with her blessing, after the jump are a slew of new photos (borderline NSFW) of Savannah, who, it's worth noting, does the animal print thing and look from behind pose like a frickin' champ, among other things.

Joanna Krupa Does the Leopard Print + Look from Behind Pose Like a Champ

How Joanna Krupa was ever replaced as our Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006 defies logic, if we actually used logic to decide such. Krupa is ludicrous-ly hot, impossibly sexy, has wicked poker chops, and as we reported today, was the subject of our most popular post in 2006, thanks largely in part to a link referral from GorillaMask.net.

And no doubt Krupa would have stayed the OWCPG of 2006, if only Keeley Hazell was never born, discovered and then unleashed video after video and photo spread after photo spread upon us like some metaphor that describes something ridiculously hot being unleashed upon us over and over (volcano/hot lava, no?).

Anyway, there's no point to this post except to point out that the photo of Joanna Krupa above (click to enlarge) shows that she has the whole "leopard print" thing (as recently duplicated by poker hostesses Shana Hiatt and Sabina Gadecki) and the "look from behind" pose (as done amateurish-ly by Brandi Hawbaker) down like a frickin' champ. Really, it's outstanding, and a model of perfection that any girl attemping the leopard print and the look from behind should strive to obtain, yet fall so far short, because they're not Joanna Krupa.

Alrighty, after the jump, a moderately ironic photo of Joanna Krupa in the buff in an ad for PETA.

Brandi Hawbaker a Beauty Pageant Chick? Go Figure

We've learned over the past month that beauty pageant contestants represent the absolute best and brightest of today's women and when we say best and brightest we mean hot, freaky ass chicks who like to bang judges, lip-stick it to Miss Teen USA, become a club slut, get naked in public and simulate sex acts for the camera. And that's why it should come as no suprise that poker's surpreme freaky ass chick, Brandi Hawbaker, was likewise a pageant contestant, although not nearly as hot as the aforementioned freaky ass chicks.

Revealing such in an interview with Pokulator.com (as well as somewhere on the now so-famous-it's-infamous 2+2 thread), Hawbaker was asked if there was something about her that would surprise most people, to which she responded, "I was one of the finalists for miss teen Nebraska way back in the day." And again, while this really doesn't surprise us, considering what a freaky ass chick Hawbaker is, what does surprise us is how some other chick out freaked Hawbaker to win the pageant. Impressive.

It's worth noting that in the Pokulator.com interview, Hawbaker comes across, un-surprisingly, like a narcissistic, clueless Paris Hilton knock off in talking about herself.

A Look Back: Wicked Chops Poker's 2006 Year In Review Recap Because Hindsight is Retrospect (Part II)

Oh about a month ago we began our epic "Hindsight is Retrospect" series regurgitating because we're lazy recapping some content and happenings of 2006.

However, after completely forgetting that we were supposed to be regurgitating content from the past year this month covering all sorts of hard-hitting, fast-breaking, action-packed poker news, we're ready to pick up where we left off in the recapping process.

Today, let's look back at our most popular (read) stories of the year although let's face it they were all popular and hugely read, seriously picking a story that wasn't that widely read on this site would be like trying to pick a morsel of food off the plate of a family dinner at the Benvenisti household, ie it doesn't exist. Enjoy!

• Joanna Krupa Photos from 2006 World Series of Poker
• The Price Tag on Jamie Gold's Word
• WPT Screws Shana Hiatt From Going to NBC's Heads-Up Poker Championship
• Jamie Gold Gets Sued for Half His Winnings
• Bodog Gets Sued Over "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker," Series Starts this Saturday on FSN

Keeley Hazell Because Why Not

How there was not a photo spread in Zoo Weekly with OWCPG of 2006 Keeley Hazell donning some Christmas-themed "outfit," such as nothing but a Santa hat or reindeer antlers, beats us. You'd think if they thought of Keeley as Britney Spears, et al, they'd think of Keeley as Mrs. Claus tossing the hay and putting the reins on Donner and Blixen in a stable while wearing chaps, or something like that.

Zoo did post 100% NSFW photos of girls in Santa gear and girls in the snow who aren't so much as hot as Keeley Hazell as they are not Keeley Hazell and thus not as hot.

But like it was Christmas, yet in no way Christmas-themed, Zoo did come through and post a new photoshoot of Keeley that you can view here as well as a video you can view after the jump. All ridiculously NSFW, of course.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Miss Nevada Katie Rees

It's been like Christmas around here with this month's Friday Night Parting Shots, with the gift being a slew of pageant winners getting caught behaving badly. First it was lovely Miss Great Britain, Danielle Lloyd, who was stripped of her title for stripping for Playboy and bonking a judge, an act which when put into context is really a touching love story.

Then there was Miss USA, and potential OWCPG of 2007, Tara Conner, who was given a second chance this week by Donald Trump after supposedly lip-sticking it to Miss Teen USA while club-slutting it up on drugs and booze. Trump's Jesus-like forgiveness was a lesson for all of us on not to pass judgment on others; at least when it involves a really hot chick and lots of good publicity for your pageant and upcoming season of "The Apprentice."

And now there's this week Friday Night Parting Shot, Miss Nevada Katie Rees (above left), who found out that what happens in a Florida nightclub when you're young (she was 19 at the time) and free and naked and kissing other girls and simulating sex acts, doesn't stay there, like it does in Vegas. Nope, it shows up all over the Internet three years later and rips the tiara off your head faster than Trump can say "You're Fired," which he did.

In response, her attorney claimed that "it was an isolated drinking party incident and she was very young and immature at the time. She completely changed her behavior after that and is today a fine upstanding citizen." And we 100% accept this because we all did stupid things when we were 19 and really throughout our 20s and still today. Plus Rees now knows not to do these type of things.... at least when a camera is around, unless you own the camera and don't get drunk one night and email the photos to a friend or post them on your MySpace page, unless you think the publicity would put you in a better position than if you were just Miss Nevada and had nothing else going for you.

And speaking of MySpace, we can all take to heart what Rees says on her MySpace page, our friendship pending. Laying down some seriously deep thoughts, the 22-year-old quotes the great 20th century philosopher Bob Marley, saying:

"who are you to judge the life i live? i know i'm not perfect - and i don't have to be, but before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean."

So wise. So young. So hot.

After the jump, some of the extremely graphic photos that got Katie Rees canned (and will get you canned if you open at work), plus a hilarious video parody of Miss Tara Conner at her press conference this week.

Mark Seif Rips Jamie Gold

If there's one thing we've learned in covering the Crispin Leyser v. Jamie Gold case is that both guys have some seriously loyal friends. People who are sticking by them, through thick and thin, defending them in the media and via emails and phone calls to us, and sometimes with annoying ass comments to our posts that rival some fat ass hoochie momma on Jerry Springer who thinks she's all that and a bag of chips and we're just jealous of them.

And we here at Wicked Chops Poker often find ourselves in the middle of all this, as we report on the case and share our instant opinions on both guys, because a number of our friends and acquaintances in poker are among these seriously loyal friends, and when we diss on either, they're the first to let us know we suck.

Well, one seriously loyal friend of Crispin Leyser, poker pro Mark Seif, who also happens to be a FOWCP and a past WCP Heads-Up interviewee but likely thinks we suck, has just publicly aired his thoughts on Gold and the lawsuit in his first blog for BluffMagazine.com.

Jamie Gold Likely to Lose Leyser Case, Says Judge

Jamie Gold, the controversial WSOP Main Event champ, isn't having the best December.

Just last week his ailing father, Dr. Robert Gold, died just as Jamie landed in Las Vegas to play the Five Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something.

Then yesterday in Vegas, the U.S. District Court judge in the Leyser v. Gold court case, the Honorable Roger Hunt, ruled against Gold's motion seeking a lift of the freeze on the remaining $6 million and delivered this not so promising remark:

"His actions, in the court's view, do not give the plaintiff much assurance that the money would, in fact, be available in the event of a judgment in his favor. The likelihood of success weighs on the side of the plaintiff."

Ouch.

Hachem May Soon Be Worth More than Gold

One thing that Jamie Gold haters hate the most, we hear, is that with his $12 million dollar WSOP win this year, he will likely be the all-time money winner for a long time, especially considering many expect the WSOP fields to decrease in size rather than continue its Mongoloidian growth, although some Kool Aid drinkers think otherwise.

Well, it's worth pointing out that with Joe Hachem's $2.1 million dollar WPT win at the Five Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Tournament, the 2005 WSOP champ is now over the $10 million dollars in tournament winnings mark, which is just under $2 million dollars from overtaking 2006 WSOP champ Gold, or about one big WPT win away or a couple of nice cashes here and there or to be exact, $1,826,646.

In other Jamie Gold news, U.S. District Court Judge Roger Hunt was scheduled to hear Gold's motion to dismiss this morning. Leyser's lawyer had filed a petition last Friday in court, a couple days after Gold's pop passed away, reasserting his claim that he and Gold had a binding business agreement that required Gold to share half of his WSOP winnings. We've yet to hear how the judge has decided. When we do, we'll report on it right away, give or take a few days, or maybe a week but at least sometime thereafter.

Gary Thompson, WSOP Players Committee May Be Smoking Something

Gambling911.com, the gambling news site we love for having hot chicks as journalists, is calling BS on WSOP director of communications, Gary Thompson, after an interview he did with PocketFives.com.

In the interview, Thomspon remarked:

"As in 2005 and 2006, Harrah’s will not be accepting third party registrations from online poker sites (.com’s) that do business with U.S. residents. PokerStars.com and PartyPoker.com could not register players directly last year because they did business with American customers. Ladbrokes could because it wasn’t doing business with U.S. residents.”

"Not true!," says Christopher Costigan, the man in charge over at G911. "PartyPoker practically sponsored the event with its logo prominently displayed on the sidewalk outside The Rio Hotel (host of the 2005 and 2006 WSOP events) and on nearly every taxi cab in Vegas. The fact that PartyPoker and its competitors all used a .net derivation is pretty much a non-issue."

Shana Hiatt and Sabina Gadecki Must Have the Same Stylist

We're no fashionistas here at Wicked Chops Poker, seriously we don't have a clue about the "world of fashion" and its peculiar manner of describing clothing, but one of us did notice that the leopard print dress seems to be the le style du jour for poker TV show hostesses these days (and apparently young British girls as well, but that's another story). First, over at the "Poker After Dark" website you have a series of photos with Shana Hiatt donning an alluringly classic, leopard print, knee-length dress featuring a sweetheart neckline with a slight A-line shape and what looks like empire seaming, and then over at Sabina Gadecki's MySpace page we noticed the new WPT hostess wearing a stunningly sexy, leopard print, tea-length dress with a very fitted shape that accentuates a sweetheart neckline with seductive lace. We mean, yeh, both broads are in leopard dresses and look smoking hot, man. So who do we think looks hotter in leopard? Well, what's the meaning of life would be an easier question to answer than that but if we had to choose we'd pick the girl who hosts a poker show and whose name starts with an "S." Yes, a cop out but screw you for asking such tough questions. After the jump, two other leopard dress photos of Sabina as well as the above photo of Sabina, but larger. And better. Because it's larger. Also be sure to check out Sabina Gadecki's new official website, www.sabinagadeckionline.com, which is loaded with photos, a blog, downloads and video clips of her doing the WPT thing.

Shana Hiatt's Return to TV Just Days Away

Shana Hiatt, who just a few months ago the World Poker Tour tried to Peacock-block™ from returning to television, will debut her new NBC show, "Poker After Dark", starring Shana Hiatt, in just 13 days (if you're counting), which in calendar terms is January 2, 2007.

The hour-long show, starring Shana Hiatt, who by the way certainly should be considered a viable candidate for the OWCPG of 2007, along with the likes of our favorite lip-stickin' hottie/druggie, Miss USA Tara Conner, will air at 2:05 a.m. ET/PT nightly, Monday – Saturday, and will star Shana Hiatt. Set in various casinos in Las Vegas, and starring Shana Hiatt, "Poker After Dark" will feature Shana Hiatt as the host and pretty much every named pro battling it out weekly for a winner-takes-all $120,000 pot and post-tournament interview with Shana Hiatt.

While the details of the show and who's playing has been reported over the past few months, an official press release from NBC was dropped today that confirmed details of the show and included a quote from Marc Graboff, President, NBC Universal Television, West Coast.

Loosely (very) paraphrasing what Graboff said about "Poker After Dark":

"Hey all you Red Bull-soused online poker junkies up past 2am on a Monday, turn your frickin tube on because Shana's back on TV and this time it's network and that means new spreads in Maxim, Stuff and FHM are sure to come so if you want to thank us, then watch Poker After Dark, starring Shana Hiatt. Thanks."

After the jump, his actual quote and the rest of the press release made pretty with photos of Shana from the "Poker After Dark" website.

Joe Hachem Triumphantly Returns to WPT Play and Wins Their Tournament with the Long Name

Dare we say that the 2005 WSOP ME champ and the WPT are ready to bury the "hachem" now? Damn we're fucking clever.

Joe Hachem, who in July filed a lawsuit against the WPT alleging they "unlawfully conspired to eliminate competition, and violated the intellectual property rights of [poker] players" but has allegedly dropped out of said suit since, now has over $2.1M reasons to be cool with the WPT using his likeness however the hell they please after winning the Five-Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Classic.

Hachem, who has consistently proven his wicked poker chops since winning the WSOP ME in 2005, manuevered through a mongolodian tough field to capture his first WPT title.

Final table play started with Daniel Negreanu as the chip leader. Negreanu built his stack to over 9M early, but eventually bowed out in third overall, banking $592,000.

¿Quien Es Mas Freakin' Insane? Senorita Brandi Hawbaker or Senor Dutch Boyd

Urinating off a Bellagio balcony, asking Mike Matusow if he's ever seen a man drink his own piss, telling PokerWire that if he's missing on Day 3 it's because Captain Tom Franklin shot him in the head, accusing Brandi Hawbaker of stealing his passport, and busting in on a Daniel Negreanu interview while looking through binoculars.

It was the Dutch Boyd show at the Five Diamond over the weekend, and his antics, along with the whole Brandi-Captain soap opera and stories about her blowing Mark Newhouse's PokerStars' bankroll but not him, have had the poker forums burning up like Brett "Gank" Jungblut on a week-long bender in Jamaica, and it's had us asking: Who is more freakin' nuts, Dutch or Brandi? Sure we know that answer is Dutch. The guy's certifiable. But we'd thought we toss it out there in case anyone disagrees.

Instead of hashing out the details, after the jump are some links and videos to bring you up to speed.

Daniel Negreanu Final Table Big Stack at WPT Tourney with the Long Name

It was shaping up to be one of the most star-studded WPT final tables in the history of the world.

While some of the luster was lost as big names like Chip Reese, Michael "the Grinder" Mizrachi, Cliff "JohnnyBax" Josephy, Michael Binger, Cyndy Violette, Scott Fischman, and Justin "ZeeJustin" Bonomo (with his fourth cashing of the Five-Diamond) were sent to the rail, the WPT Five-Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Classic TV table still landed two of the game's marquee names.

Daniel Negreanu will enter final table play as the big stack, with 4,670,000 in chips. And 2005 WSOP ME champ "Salty" Joe Hachem, playing in his first WPT event since a lawsuit he was involved with that we'll just pretend never happened (and who rumor has it dropped out of the suit), comes in at third overall with 2,345,000.

Rounding out the table is Mads Andersen, Edward Jordan, David Redlin, and Jim Hanna.

Play begins at 5pm PST tonight.

The Grinder Wins Card Player POY, To the Shock of No One

In what has to be the least shocking news story in poker all year, Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi has officially won the Card Player POY title.

The Grinder has been on a two year run where he's banked over $5M in tournament earnings that can only be described as "sick," "ridiculous," "retarded," "stupid," and a slew of other "bad" sounding words that nowadays means that something is "good." Today's youth...so Mongoloidian. That'll stick, right? Mongolodian? "Josh Smith's dunk last night was Mongolodian dude!" Yep, totally.

After a late charge from Nam Le, JC Tran, and Shannon Shorr, the Grinder, as Snoop Dogg would put it, "scratched them off his balls with his muthafuckin paws" by outlasting them all in the final major event of 2k6, the WPT Five-Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Classic. Grinder finished 29th, cashing over $50k.

In related news, Chad Brown still leads the BLUFF Magazine rankings, and Daniel Negreanu still leads the WCP Player Power Index (although you'll see the Grinder making a charge up our rankings in the next release).

Congrats to Grinder for a Mongolodian year!

Brandi Hawbaker Sticks it to The Captain on 2+2

A hot enough to bang, freaky as heck, 24-year-old, poker playing chick handing over her bankroll to an old time poker pro and instead of getting help at the table she allegedly gets the old guy's Viagara-soused penis laid up on her back in the middle of the night. It's the Brandi Hawbaker (at right) and Captain Tom Franklin soap opera that's been playing out over at the 2+2 forums and if you're not up to speed, get clued in. Last we checked there were more than 120 pages of replies. You'd think with these kind of allegations and all the interest we'd be all over this story but to be honest some of us have been too busy soaking up some California sun to bother and besides stories about penises and old men with nicknames like Captain creep us out.

After the jump, a really bad video of Brandi "Rose" Hawbaker being freaky with fire sticks. Really, this girl is a total freak and we love her for it. Also be sure to check out the Neverwin forum for some NSFW photos purported to be of Brandi. Did we mention she's a total freak? Love it.

Day 3 Underway at WPT 5DSSDBSSC

Day 3 play has just started at the WPT 5DSSDBSSC, and overnight chip leaders Keith Lehr, Clonie Gowen, the Grinder, Scott Fischman, Justin (ZeeJustin) Bonomo, and Daniel Negreanu continue to build their stacks. As of posting, only 119 remain. Magician Scott Lazar is not one of them. He busted yesterday.

The Five-Diamond has particularly been a coming out party for Bonomo, with three final tables so far and over $125k in winnings.

Check out Card Player for live updates.

Scott Lazar, a Magician, and Cyndy Violette, a Woman, Among Day 1B Chip Leaders at WPT Five-Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Classic

The Entities that comprise Wicked Chops Poker will admit that when the 2005 WSOP ME final table concluded and Scott Lazar, one of the magic-workers who helped usher in the "Magician Invasion" started by Antonio Esfandiari a few years back, banked his 1.5M, well, we just didn't think we'd hear much from Lazar again that didn't involve sawing a woman in half or pulling a quarter from behind our ear. However, Lazar did manage two cashes at this year's WSOP. And in the final major tourney of 2006, the DBNAPC, Lazar ended day 1B as one of the chip leaders, stacked at 95k. Viola.

Right behind Lazar is tournament leaderboard mainstay--and woman--Cyndy Violette, who is stacked at 92k.

They both trail Tony Ma, who ended day 1B as the big stack with 151k.

Other notable bigs going into merged day 2 play include WCP Power Player Index leader Daniel Negreanu (70k), Fabrice "The Frog" Soulier (70k), Shane Schlegler (68k), Kenna James (63k), Joe Tehan, whose name sounds too much like "Tehran" for our liking (62k), Chip Reese (61k), and 2006 WSOP ME final table-ist Michael Binger (61k).

Friday Night Parting Shot: Miss USA Tara Conner

We learn new things about ourselves everyday. Like the time we learned that we didn't hate all things French. Or the day we discovered that we could be attracted to girls named Olga, and then there was that night Chops found out that he didn't have to be afraid of midgets anymore, even if they were ninja midgets striking kung-fu poses.

Then there's today, when we learned that we have a thing for pageant winners dethroned for behaving badly. First it was recent FNPSG, Danielle Lloyd, who was just dethroned of her Miss Great Britain title for posing in Playboy and shagging one of the judges (Great Britain by the way is our favorite oxymoron). And now today, we have ridiculously hot Tara Conner, who reportedly will be stripped of her 2006 Miss USA title for "inappropriate behavior," which according to sources reported in the news means behavior that "makes Paris Hilton look like a baby," which is a complexing analogy, considering what an impossible slut Paris Hilton is--so complexing that we'll leave it to metaphysical logisticians to figure out.

The CardPlayer of celebrity gossip, The National Ledger, reports that Conner will turn 21 on Monday and had planned to celebrate her birthday with parties on both coasts at Pure in Las Vegas and at Stereo in New York and that she has been "romantically" bonking linked to TWO of Stereo's owners AND A NUMBER OF celebrities who hang there, including MTV VJ Damien Fahey, which is another way of saying she's the club slut, not that there's anything wrong with that, which is another way of saying that if you're in Vegas this Monday, take a break from the Five Diamond World Poker Classic and head to Pure because if you're ever gonna bang a Miss USA, dethroned or not, Monday is your chance. Good luck.

After the jump, photos and a video of Miss Tara Conner, who with her beauty, body and bad behavior has officially thrown her tiara in the ring as a candidate for the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2007.

Jamie Gold's Father Succumbs to ALS

Early Thursday morning, Wicked Chops Poker received word from a friend of Jamie Gold that Dr. Robert Gold, the father of the 2006 WSOP Main Event champ, had passed away at the age of 76. As most know, Jamie's father was battling ALS, the crippling neurodegenerative disease commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig's Disease.

According to Gold's friend, Jamie was set to play the Five Diamond World Poker Classic in Las Vegas and had just landed at McCarran Airport when he got the news from his mom and caught the next flight home. Jamie Gold's father became an integral part of Gold's WSOP story after Jamie pledged to use the money from his winnings to make his father as comfortable as possible and when Gold called him from the final table immediately after winning.

Gowen, Gazes, Grinder, Gavin Among Leaders at WPT Five-Diamond Something Something Doyle Brunson Something Something Classic

The WPT's Five-Diamond World Poker Classic's main event, the Doyle Brunson North American Poker Classic, is the longest and most confounding tournament name in all of poker.

There isn't even a good acronym that works for it. WPT5DWPCDBNAPC? Doesn't remotely roll off the tongue. Even if you shorten it to the DBNAPC, no dice.

Sooo...a number of players who gave us the opportunity to alliterate the letter "G" in our headline for the DBNAPC. One of them, Clonie Gowen, is right atop the leader board, stacked at 180k. Gowen, who was part of our first BLUFF Magazine WCP Player Power Index, but has since dropped out of the top 5), is not in contention for the Card Player POY award. Segue, however, Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi is. The Grinder has been atop the CP POY standings for almost the entire year, and with a stack around 127k after day 1a (and the eliminations of Nam Le and Shannon Shorr, and the short-stacked status of JC Tran), he looks primed to win the award and bank a hefty bonus.

Other big stacks after day 1a include Freddy Deeb (179k), woman Kristy Gazes (150k), Mark Newhouse (134k), Justin "Zee-Justin" Bonomo (120k), and Gavin Smith (105k).

Get full chip counts here.

World Holds Breath as Player of the Year Race Tightens

In what has to be the most gripping story in the world right now, the Card Player POY race continues to tighten, as more players inch closer to dethroning Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi for the metaphorical crown.

Nam Le made yet another final table at the Five Diamond World Poker Classic, this time in Event #8 ($2,500 NLH). Le is now only 774 points away from overtaking the Grinder. Joining him at the final table was Jeff "Maddog" Madsen, youngest winner of two WSOP bracelets and mortal enemy of E-Fro, who finished third, possibly putting himself back in contention as well.

Also making a late charge is JC Tran. Winner of a World Poker Finals event last month (as well as recently taking down the 2006 WCOOP, which is not included in the POY standings), Tran won Five Diamond Event #7 ($2,000 NLH), giving him over $575k in live tournament earnings over the last 30 days.

Tran and Madsen have now moved into third and fourth place in the POY standings respectively, bumping Shannon Shorr, who just missed the final table in Event #8.

We will continue to possibly keep you posted.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell Does Jessica Simpson and J-Lo

There's no end in sight, thank goodness, for Zoo's Weekly's "Keeley Does Pop" series in which the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006 Keeley Hazell does photo spreads of her donning/undonning the outfits made famous by such cultural heroines as Kiley Minoque, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna and Holly Valance.

Most recently, the lovely Keeley did Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Lopez, the latter of which, it's worth noting, we think is an absolute troll. Your mom dressed as J-Lo would be hotter to us than J-Lo dressed as J-Lo. Yeh, that's right. Your mom.

Photos of Keeley as Jessica and J-Lo after the jump and several NSFW videos from the ZOO shoot to make you go blind.

Warren "T-Bones" Buffett Stinks at Poker, Still Stinking Rich

Truth be told, online bridge pro and reported gazillionaire, Warren "T-Bones" Buffett, likely has more "wealth" than us, if "wealth" was measured in money, which apparently it is.

But if by chance it was measured by the size of a man's ego multiplied by the square root of the size of his member divided by the hypotenuse of the Bermuda Triangle plus the combined number of sailing vessels and A Tribe Called Quest albums he has, than we'd likely be wealthier. Truth be told.

And if by further chance one's skill at the poker table was the great arbiter of who between T-Bones and the Entities has more wealth, than we'd easily take the cake, metaphorically speaking, because apparently the Berkshire Hathaway CEO isn't so rich in poker skills. Playing yesterday in a charity poker tournament in Omaha, Nebraska, which we hear is somewhere in the middle of America, Buffett lasted no more than 45 minutes. On how poker is different than the game he and Bill "Chalengr" Gates play, Buffett said, "It's different than bridge. I was confused. I thought the low score won."

Buffett went on further blaming his failure to take Viagara as the reason for not lasting longer.*

The event, which celebrated the recent renovation of a retail outlet and benefited the Nebraska Make-A-Wishprogram, where reportedly the number one wish is to get the hell out of Nebraska**, was also attended by Absolute Poker's Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi and Team Bodog Pros, David Williams and Evelyn Ng, who's hot.

The winner of the event ended up being some guy from Omaha, who won a $3,500 Omega watch that was featured in Casino Royale. When asked how he felt about his prize, the winner remarked, "I'm hawking this bitch on eBay and buying a one way ticket out of Nebraska baby."**

* not true
**not true
*** not true, but likely.

Nam Vs. Machine

Lost in all of the news we haven't reported the past few weeks is the on-going battle for Card Player's POY award (not to be confused with our Player Power Index in BLUFF) between Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi and "Viet"Nam Le.*

After winning the WPT Winter Poker Open in February, Grinder pretty much held the point lead the entire year. However, Nam won a WPT title as well, and has 19 other cashes (totaling $2M in earnings), including a third place finish in the Five-Diamond Classic taking place at the Bellagio right now. Seriously. Right this second it's going on.

The Grinder, who has been on the record stating he is a machine, something we take very literally around here, stands to bank some serious $$$ if he holds on to the POY point lead, according to ThePokerBiz.com. Hopefully he can use that money to further advance his man/machine parts so when the humans fight robots for control of the world one hundred years from now, The Grinder will be ready to save us all.

We'll possibly keep you posted.

* Neither Mizrachi or Le appear in the current WCP Player Poker Index.

Snake's On a Plane...To Vegas, The Addict Too

We don't usually like to give the heads up of where we'll be at any given time, especially in light of recent rumors that a rogue group of British slap ninjas were gonna put a hit on us. Whether that means buy us a few rounds of Cosmopolitans or slap our wrists silly were not so sure, but we're taking precautions either way. Think Jamie Gold at the WSOP except instead of renting a bunch of tall, obnoxious dudes in suits with "Security" stitched on their lapels, we're getting last month's Bodog Girl Nicole (photos after the jump) to mind our matters, because she looks like she can kick some ass and she has a spectacular ass and most importantly we're thinking she'll keep the slap happy types away, unless they want to talk hair, because hers is lovely.

But yeh, Snake and the Addict will be in Vegas this week and for some time thereafter. Chops of course lives in Vegas so he'll be there too. So all three of us will be there, if you do the math.

Again, last month's Bodog Girl Nicole after the jump as well as over at BodogNation.com, where you can also see the newest Bodog Girl Ksenia, whose name is either pronounced "Kenia" or "Senia," we're guessing.

Greg Raymer to Run for Vice President of the U.S.?

In an interview with our favorite Lithuanian-based poker news site, PokerNews.com, 2004 WSOP champ Greg Raymer claimed he's considering a run for the VP spot in the 2008 election, saying, "I am currently talking to some people who run the Libertarian Party about the possibility of running to be the party's official candidate for Vice President of the United States."

Raymer, as you know, was very active in the PPA's fight against the likes of Bill Commu-Frist and his cronies who eventually pushed the UIEGA through the Port Security Bill, so no doubt his election, which would be as likely as John Kerry not coming across as a pompous, elitist ass during a presidential campaign, would be good for online poker. Raymer is also a very large man who would kick the living shit out of anyone who fucked with his money or family, which probably means he'd be tough on terrorist folks, like Al Qaeda and other people with funny beards and dark skin.

It's worth noting that Raymer has apparently improved upon his diplomatic chops after his notorious feud with Daniel Negreanu. When asked in the interview why Jamie Gold hasn't garnered the same level of respect he and Joe Hachem got, Raymer deftly said, "Joe and I did not get respect from our peers with respect to our poker skills until we proved ourselves in later events. Jamie has not had time to do that yet. If he does, he will get that respect."

In other 2008 election news, Phil Gordon, who is as tall as Raymer is large, has yet to announce whether he'll run for President, as we called for more than a year ago. We suggest the two run as a ticket for the sole purpose of shining the spotlight on the online poker issue. And to give us something other than the Jamie Gold lawsuit to talk about.

By the way, the photo above is of Danielle Lloyd. Because she isn't Greg Raymer or Phil Gordon.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Danielle Lloyd

Danielle Lloyd, the absurdly hot British babe who was crowned Miss Great Britain 2006 only to have her title stripped this month after stripping for Playboy and amid allegations that she was dating aging footballer Teddy Sheringham while he was judging the pageant, looks a bit like a narrower version of Keeley Hazell to us, with some Shana Hiatt girl-next-door mixed in, which together makes her the most irresistible British girl we've seen since the last one we saw. In some photos, Danielle also has somewhat of a Lisa Marie Presley-ish face, if you stare at her long enough, which for some reason or another disqualifies her as a candidate for the OWCPG of 2007.

Besides being absurdly hot, notwithstanding the occasional LMP-ish-ness, Danielle is also apparently a bit of a card tosser. We got word today that the Liverpool native and her geezer boyfriend will be attending the third annual PartyPoker.com European Open in a few days. Whether she'll last long like Joanna Krupa did at the WSOP or follow the bitch Benson and flame out early is yet to be seen but according to PokerNews.com, the poker news site that covers poker news, Danielle says, "I play to win."

Danielle was also chosen as one of the 50 finalists for the Hollywood Poker 2007 Calendar, but somehow was not chosen as one of the final 12, which is apparently the number of months there are in a year, per the calendar. Considering the photos of Danielle after the jump, the only reasonable explanation for her not being chosen is that she refused to sleep with either Woods or Van Patten, which we unequivocally know is a requirement for the gig because we assume that's how these things work.

Other than not being one of the Hollywood Poker Calendar Girls, it's safe to say that Danielle won't be the next Stephen Ambrose either. When appearing on Test the Nation, Danielle was asked "Who was Winston Churchill - A rapper, US President, Prime Minister or King?" Lloyd answered, "Wasn't he the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black."

So silly, to think Winston Churchill was our first black president. Everyone knows it was Bill Clinton.

Lots of fun photos of Danielle after the jump and a video from the Miss Great Britain pageant that makes our Miss America look like a Cool Aid & Cookies Social for the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament. Damn the Brits do things right when it comes to parading barely dressed girls around on a stage.

Adriana Lima Really Wants to be the OWCPG of 2007