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April 2007

Jennicide Does FHMonline.com Spread

JennicidefhmonlineOnline poker player Jennifer "Jennicide" Leigh recently did a photo shoot for the folks at FHMonline.com in a black teddy get-up.

You can view the entire 4-page spread here or you can watch a video of a cow ninja kicking the crap out someone.

Really it's your choice. The Internet's fun like that.

UPDATE: We missed the accompanying Jennicide video at FHMonline.com. Actually it's better than the photos. Check it out here, after you watch the cow clip.

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Keeley Hazell is Sexiest Down Under

Kh01_1While FHMonline.com readers inexplicably voted Keeley Hazell as #60 on its annual Top 100 Sexiest Women in the World List, congrats to readers of FHM Australia for getting it right by voting Keeley #1.

The top-spot accolade Down Under is one spot better than how Keeley fared in FHM UK's Sexiest poll, where she finished second just behind Jessica Alba (<-- worth the click).

In other Keeley Hazell news, our penises still love the Keeley Malibu Beach video.

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Senator Jon Kyl Still Hates Online Poker

AidaJust as Barney Frank introduced his blanket repeal of the UIGEA on Thursday, Senator Jon Kyl (Fascist-Ariz.) issued a statement saying that he will "strongly oppose any efforts to ease or remove" the anti online gambling bill he and his cronies trojan horsed into law last October.

Today Kyl was at it again, this time penning an article that appeared in the National Ledger, and specifically discussing efforts by the poker industry to carve out an exemption for online poker.

You can read all that Kyl has to say here, which we recommend digesting while viewing photos of a nearly barely dressed Aida Yespica, even if it is a little awkward being angry with your pants down.

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Carlos Mortenson Is Intricately and Meticulously Stacking Piles of Money

After a grueling heads-up match that saw the chip lead go back and forth multiple times, Carlos Mortenson defeated Kirk Morrison to win the WPT World Championship.

Mortenson, the 2001 WSOP Main Event champ, becomes the first person (i.e. "man") to win both the the World Series of Poker's championship event and the World Poker Tour's championship event.

Kirk Morrison finished second. This guy named Paul Lee was third, followed by that Frenchie who invented Cirque, Tim Phan, and Mike Wattel.

For the win, Mortenson banks a WPT record $3,970,415, of which he will meticulously stack into some cool looking tower in his house. Maybe he'll make a castle out of it. Or maybe El Estadio Santiago Bernabeu.

Get full payouts here.

Most importantly, the money was of course presented by the Xyience Xenergy girls. One of them is Monica. She is below.

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Can Carlos Mortenson Be the First to Win WSOP and WPT Championships? And Does Card Player Believe in Multiple Gods?

Carlos_mortCarlos Mortenson has always been one of our favorite players to sweat. Cool, calculated, great table presence and intimidating as hell. Even if he's Rainman-esque in stacking his chips (as seen in the photo to the right courtesy of PokerWire.com.

But Spain's Mortenson provides one of the more interesting story lines for this year's WPT World Championship: Can he become of the first person to win both the WSOP ME and WPT World Championship? Can he? Seriously. Fucking can he?

Mortenson is second overall going into final table play with 6,501,000. Leading everyone is still this guy named Paul Lee, stacked at 11,828,000. Other final table-ists include the uber-hyper-aggressive Tim Phan (2,162,000), Cirque de Soleil founder Guy (pronounced "Geeeee", not the cool American sounding "Guy" way) Laliberte (4,690,000), Kirk Morrison (4,194,000) and Mike Wattel (2,887,000).

In related news, in Card Player's Day 5 round-up, they expressed a potential belief in the heavens being occupied by pluralistic deities. Evidence below:

And on the fifth day of the 2007 WPT Championship, the poker gods said, “Let there be six.” While some argue that the deities do play a role, the fates of the 27 returning participants ultimately came down to those six with enough skill, and luck, to reach the World Poker Tour televised final table.

Listen, we're all for the Ancient Roman ways of orgies, debauchery, and manly rights to make women submit to your will, so we're totally with Card Player there. But multiple gods? Haven't we evolved past that?

Get with the 21st century Card Player. 

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Yahoo4_2What kind of sick, twilight zone, backwards ass world do we live in when our U.S. elected representatives tell us Americans, here in the land of the free, that we can't gamble online in our own homes but British citizens are able to play real money poker right off the home page of Yahoo!?

For more news on Yahoo! UK's new poker offering, surf the Internet.

For Google's move into the poker world, wait.

For info on how to be a part of poker's sickest poker posse, Team AOL, go here.

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You're Best Shot at Getting Stupid Rich

The ridiculously simple online audition process for "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker II" ends soon, or if calendars are to be believed, in 10 days.

Those who want to appear on the "Apprentice"-like, poker-themed reality TV show in which 12 amateur poker players (no pros or celebs like last year) live it up for a month and compete for a $2 Million Grand Prize package have until May 6 to either upload a recent photo of yourself (so they know you don't look like this) or submit a one-minute video making a case for why you'd be great for the show.

Just go to Bodog.tv/Audition to get it done.

Really, just upload a photo? It's kind of ridiculous how easy this is, like banging' Britney in rehab easy, but without the itch.

And if you are one of the 12 who make it on the show, you have a 1 in 12 chance, according to the team of expert statisticians we just consulted, to win $1,000,000 in cash and a $1,000,000 contract to join Bodog's poker team.

Wow, $1 Million in cash. Just what we need, another million dollars. Seriously, as entities who aren't so much into money as we are made of money, we often ask ourselves, "When is enough ever enough?" Do we really need another yacht for our Pacific fleet, or another white tiger for the Vegas condo, or another shipment of kalishnikovs and RPGs for the guerillas in Myanmar?

Actually we never ask ourselves this question. It's a stupid question.

Bdgirlssamira14_3Unfortunately though, we found out after making a video of ourselves to the tune of "Beautiful" by James Blunt that we can't compete on the show for reasons that have nothing to do with us being the half-brothers of Bodog's Calvin Ayre and more to do with the fact that we get shipped Bodog girls to our Vegas and Atlanta offices every month in exchange for that advertisement you see on the right.

Oh well, guess we'll settle for lovely Bodog Girl Samira, who you can see looking lovely after the jump . . .

Continue reading "You're Best Shot at Getting Stupid Rich" »

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Barney Frank Introduces Bill to Legalize Online Gambling

U.S. House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank (D-MA) introduced this morning the "Internet Gambling Regulation and Enforcement Act of 2007," a bill that would effectively repeal the UIGEA by creating an exemption to the ban on online gambling for properly licensed operators, thus allowing Americans to lawfully bet online.

Jennywoo5As we reported two weeks ago, there is no carve out for poker, as Franks sees no need to "draw a distinction between poker and blackjack" in his efforts to undo the "preposterous" UIGEA.

According to Gambling911.com, the Financial Services Committee will hold a hearing entitled, “Can Internet gambling be regulated to protect consumers and the payments system?” at a date to be determined in June.

For a Q+A about the Internet Gambling Regulation and Enforcement Act of 2007, including info on consumer protections and license requirements, click here.

For a link to a link to a link of the scandalous solo-riffic sex tape erotic educational video of G911's Jenny Woo (seen in photo pledging allegiance to Wicked Chops Poker), go here and scroll down to the first comment.

UPDATE: Relevant links off the House Committee on Financial Services website (all PDFs):




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This Guy Named Paul Lee Now Leads WPT World Championship

We'd be lying if we told you we knew much about Paul Lee (not to be confused with Paul-y).

Header1Coming into the Five Star this month, he had a slew of minor and medium cashes in tournaments over the past decade. But not much of anything that would get panties wet (or what we like to call "what happens to the ladies when we walk in the room").

However, Paul won an earlier Five Star event, and final tabled another, and now, this dude who can't get the panties wet is the chip leader going into Day 5 of the WPT World Championship, stacked at 3,601,000.

Only 27 remain.

1989 WSOP ME champ Phil Hellmuth was around the chip lead for the early part of the day, but took some hits and has fallen down to 18th overall, with 738,000. 2001 WSOP ME champ Carlos Mortenson was like Ice Cube, climbing to third overall with 2,429,000.

Other notables remaining include: two-time WSOP bracelet winner Scott Fischman (1,268,000), 2006 WSOP ME runner-up and 2007 Nat'l Heads Up champ Paul Wasicka (581,000), and groper of DTD girls Roland de Wolfe (460,000).

Get full chip counts here.

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Barney Frank to Introduce "Blanket Repeal" of the UIGEA Tomorrow

Barney_frankEarlier today, Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) announced that he would hold a press conference tomorrow at 10am ET morning to discuss his proposed legislation to repeal the UIGEA, or what he refers to as "a great mistake."

"Why anyone thinks it is any of my business why some adult wants to gamble is absolutely beyond me," said the House Financial Services Committee Chairman. "I spend a lot of my time trying to protect people from other people who are going to treat them unfairly. I have no energy left for protecting people from themselves."

"This is about freedom," Frank said today. "I'm not just concerned with poker. What's next? Mahjong?"

While Mahjong-related crimes and the tile-eyed degenerates who perpetrate it are no laughing matter, we understand the sentiment and applaud his efforts.

According to Politico.com, Frank "does not plan to actively sell this bill on the Hill after he introduces it; instead, he will wait to see if outside groups can do that for him."

"I'm going to let the voters do this one," said Frank.

For a complete analysis of the "long odds" Frank, and all of us, face in repealing the UIGEA, head over to Politico.com.

For Kelly Brook's new spread in RALPH magazine, take your pants down here.

Thanks to our favorite poker dealer Jimmy J. for the tip earlier today, which we weren't able to get to until now because nappy time went extra long today.

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Phil Hellmuth is the Chip Leader; J.C. Tran is WPT POY

With 54 remaining at the WPT World Championship, Phil Hellmuth has taken the chip lead and is now stacked at 1,827,000 going into Day 4. In second overall is Raymond Davis with 1,704,000.

Some things of note:

:: If Hellmuth were to hold on like that song from Wilson Phillips and win the event, he'd be the first WSOP ME champ to also win the WPT World Championship. Also in the running to accomplish that feat is Carlos Mortensen, who goes into Day 4 stacked eigth overall with 939,000. We saw C-Mort in his car in the parking garage during play just listening to some music at one stage, so we're glad he cleared his head or whatever he was doing to relax in there and came back strong.

Jb:: In case anyone forgot, Justin Bonomo is a freaking good player even when he's not multi-tabling the same online event. He's managed to cash in yet another event and is very healthy with an above average stack of 625,000.

:: Paul Wasicka is about average stacked. If Wasicka can pull through with a big finish, he may be able to challenge the spectacularly breasted J.C. Tran (at right) for the Card Player POY award this year. You can read Wasicka's blogging on the WPT site here.

:: Segue! With the elimination of Daniel Negreanu, J.C. Tran locks up WPT POY honors. Whether or not someone challenges him for best breasts honors this year remains to be seen.

:: And finally, the short-stack going into Day 4 is Patrik Antonius with 38,000. We observed Patrik getting a one-hour massage during play. When the female masseuse finished, Lady Chops asked, "Now, will she pay him for letting her give the massage?"

After the jump, a video of Phil Hellmuth and Jamie Gold discussing their bluffing prop bet in which Jamie made off with six-grand of Phil's money.

Continue reading "Phil Hellmuth is the Chip Leader; J.C. Tran is WPT POY" »

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Online Poker No Longer As Bad as Child Porn in Washington State

Looks like lawmakers in Washington State, not the Capitol, are wising up a tad bit.

Washington_state_seal_web_ready_c_2Although we're not so much into reading laws as breaking them, hiring lawyers and fleeing the country, a quick read of the bill that just passed in the state that gave us Grunge, 'Bucks and Gates suggests that playing online poker in the privacy of your own home (but maybe not a friend's home) is no longer a Class C felony charge, which according to the funky bunch over at PokerPages.com is the same penalty for possessing child pornography.

Described by the lawmakers as "AN ACT Relating to providing an affirmative defense to unlawful internet gambling if the defendant committed the offense in his or her primary residence," the pertinent provision in the amendment reads:

"In a prosecution for a violation of this section, it is an affirmative defense, which the defendant must prove by a preponderance of the evidence, that the defendant transmitted or received the gambling information over the internet, or that the defendant installed or maintained equipment for the transmission or receipt of gambling information over the internet, in his or her primary residence for recreational purposes. For purposes of this subsection, "recreational purposes" means for the defendant's own enjoyment and not as part of an enterprise that derives income from operating an internet web site that transmits or receives gambling information." (emphasis added) - PDF of the bill

For our post on the law that passed in Washington State last year making online poker a Class C felony and interview with pokerer Seattle John, go here.

For more on the recent amendment and its implications, head over to PokerPages.com and PocketFives.com.

For a video of Scarlett Johannson busting ass, go here

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El Blondie on the Rebound, Wins GUKPT Event in Manchester

Rhowena_1David "El Blondie" Colclough, who nothing interesting has happened to recently or to his wife Rhowena Colclough (at right and who can be seen artistically expressing herself here (NSFW), here (NSFW), and here (NSFW)), has won the Manchester stop of the Grosvenor UK Poker Tour, which is better known by its flows-so-easily-off-the-tongue acronym, the GUKTP.

For his win, El Blondie walks away with £88,000, which is approximately $176,000 US, because the dollar, like Rhowena when David is out of town, continues to get pounded abroad.

For more on the GUKPT, go here.

For the UK's hottest footballers' wives and girlfriends, go here.

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Jamie Gold's Urinal Mint from 2006 WSOP for Sale on eBay for $5,000

UrinalcakeNo shittin' ya, click here to see for yourself.

Starting bid is $5,000.

And you only have five days to act to be the proud owner of this "ultimate poker collectible" that, according to its auctioner "poker-kitty", was "used" by 2006 WSOP champion Jamie Gold "just prior to winning the biggest cash prize ($12 million) in all of sports history."

Poker-kitty, who has a 100% positive feedback rating on eBay and is a 100% douchebag, goes on to say: "The mint in question was acquired (via rubber gloves) from a hotel men's room attendant (close friend of the family; can't disclose his name for obvious reasons), immediately bagged and labeled and stored for safe keeping."

"While this item is DEFINITELY different, that peculiarity and rarity makes it the absolute ultimate piece of poker memorabilia of all time," says poker-kitty. "Heck, you could even use it as a dealer button if you really wanted to, although I'd strongly suggest washing it first!"

There's really nothing we can add to this, except that if this person nabs $5,000 for Gold's piss mint, which is about as likely as it is the real deal, Tao of Poker's Pauly, who loves to write about the pros he whizzes next to at tournaments, has a whole new income stream, so to speak, available to him to pad his bankroll.

Thanks to Michael T. for the heads-up on this one.

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The Lamest Gavin Smith + Joe Sebok Prop Bet To Date

Is this the lamest Gavin Smith-Joe Sebok Prop Bet to date? Is "Prop Bets: The Stupid Show" finally living up to its name? Why are Gavin and Joe wearing jackets in Vegas? Is Lauren Boiros getting hotter? Is Britney Spears bang-able again? Are we going to ask another stupid ass question?

Raw Vegas Video

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Your 2007 WPT Championship Day 2 Chipleaders

Roland de WolfePhil Hellmuth

Continue reading "Your 2007 WPT Championship Day 2 Chipleaders" »

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Has Doyle Brunson Lost that Loving Feeling?

At least it seems that way in his chat with Tiffany Michelle of PokerNews.com as he talks diplomatically about the crap the Fristian fascists pulled off last October and how that has affected his passion for playing poker.

Check out this video and others from the WPT World Championship over in the PokerNews.com Video Gallery.

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"Everybody's Dick Is Getting Bigger" and Other Thoughts Richard Kind Has on Poker

RichardkindRichard Kind, the comedic actor and occasional poker player, unleashed "A Few Thoughts on Poker" as a guest blogger today at the HuffingtonPost.com, a site that is almost always painful to read and is run by that annoying boob of a woman Arianna Huffington.

In his post, Kind makes a case for making poker halls "more plentiful" and claims that "[t]elevision has ruined the home game."

"Everybody's dick is getting bigger, and the bloodlust to take someone down includes the hope of greatly increasing your fortune," remarks Kind.

It's worth the read even if Kind is really just pimping his new poker-themed film The Grand, which may or may not be the best poker movie to come along since The 40-Year-Old Virgin and which we broke huge news about almost a year ago when we reported that Keeley Hazell was not starring in it.

GrandscreenshotTo refresh your memory if you're too lazy to click the link above, the Zak Penn-produced/directed/penned Waiting for Guffman-like mockumentary on the poker world stars Woody Harrelson as One Eyed Jack Faro, a degenerate pokerer who attempts to save his dead dad's hotel-casino from a real estate developer by taking down the world's most famous high stakes tournament, the Grand Championship of Poker.

Joining Harrelson in the cast are enigmatic German director Werner Herzog, Gabe Kaplan, Shannon Elizabeth, Michael "David St. Hubbins" McKean, Dennis Farina and a bunch of past Celebrity Poker Showdown-ers including Cheryl Hines, David Cross, Ray Romano, and Mr. Kind.

The Grand premieres at the Tribeca Film Festival on Friday, April 27, and apparently is one of the festival's hottest tickets, having sold out advance tickets.

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Guess What Famous Poker Player This Is

Hint: Despite the spectacular breasts, it isn't J.C. Tran.

Answer/photos after the jump. . .

Continue reading "Guess What Famous Poker Player This Is" »

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Who Will Get Whacked* From Season VI of the WPT?

Rumor (aka "the truth") has it that someone won't be coming back for Season VI of the World Poker Tour, and when we say someone we mean, either Mike Sexton, Sabina Gadecki or Vince Van Patten, or put another way, we're pretty sure Vince Van Patten isn't coming back for Season VI since Mike Sexton is the face of the World Poker Tour and the show couldn't exist without him.

And Sabina, well everyone loves Sabina. Not that everyone doesn’t love Vince Van Patten, because he has maybe the best hair in Hollywood, but what he lacks is the sex appeal that Sabina has, not that Vince isn’t sexy in his own right, but he’s not someone that we’d be terribly interested in displaying our immense sexual prowess to (if we were still single), and we’ll just shut up now because this is getting weird.

Season VI of the WPT will begin taping this May and it will air in early 2008 for the first time on GSN after five seasons on the Travel Channel.

* The use of the word "whacked" doesn't mean this person is getting fired rather than leaving of his or her own accord. It just means we watched the Sopranos last night.

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Sammy Farha Has a Lot of Chips

Header12003 WSOP Main Event runner-up Sammy Farha must have been saying his trademark* phrase "raisy daisy" a lot during Day 1B of the WPT World Poker Championship. The logical next sentence here would be explaining how he ended up as Day 1B chip leader stacked at 210,700 and then make some snarky joke about how someone that people call the "Humphrey Bogart of Poker" shouldn't be allowed to say "raisy daisy" because could you imagine Bogart, or his modern day equivalent, Clooney, ever saying "raisy daisy" but it's early, we're tired, and we can't think of a creative, snarky way to put that put-down for you.

Other big stacks after Day 1B include, but are not limited to, the playing-much-better-of-late-which-is-good-since-he's-stuck-a-lot-of-money Mike "the Mouth" Matusow (162,575), Tim Phan (157,000), David Benyamine (135,900), Patrik Antonius (119,600), Paul Wasicka (116,725), Freddy Deeb (115,250), Carlos Mortensen (115,125), Isabelle Mercier, a woman (110,500), Gavin Griffin (102,900), John Phan (101,675), Kathy Liebert, a woman, (100,325), and Johnny Chan (95,600).

Still alive are Doyle Brunson (79,050) and Daniel Negreanu (64,200), who keeps his shot open to win WPT POY honors. Negreanu is the only player who can keep the spectacularly breasted J.C. Tran from winning, as WCP fave Joe Pelton has busted out.

Get full chip counts here. Get breaking news on the death of former Russian President Boris Yeltsin's here.

* Not actually trademarked.

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WPT World Championship Announces Record Payout

With 639 players in the field, the WPT World Championship has announced a record first place payout of $3,970,415. Second place will bank $2,011,135.

The previous record was last year's $3,760,165 taken down by Joe Bartholdi.

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That Asian Chick with the Polish Name Leads WPT World Championship; Guy with Girl's Name Second

"How many Polaks does it take to crush the competition at the WPT World Championship at the Bellagio?"

Header1Until this year, that question would just receive a laugh and a shrug. "Polaks...playing poker? Now that's high comedy..." you'd say. "They're soooo stupid!" you'd say, because you are racist.

Then we'd say something like, "Oh, we left out the best part. It's not only a Polak...but it's a Polak woman. Sort of. We think." At which time you'd have a heart-attack or jump out of a 10-story building window because you'd think the end was surely near.

While we have not yet confirmed the exact originals of her ethnicity, let's have some fun with this and say that Anna Wroblewski, the Asian woman (so she's smart) with a deceptively Polish sounding name (so she's not so smart...damn this is perplexing) who won a prelim Five-Star event last week and cashed in another, is the Day 1a chip leader at the WPT World Poker Championship.

Stacked at 235,000, she's trailed by WCP-fave Shannon Shorr (175,000).

Other notable big stacks (according to Card Player...the WPT counts are significantly different) include but are not limited to: Lyle Berman (140k), Isaac Haxton (135k), Jeff Cabanillas (121k), Daniel Alaei (115k), Marcel Luske (112k), Hoyt Corkins (107k), Jamie Gold (105k), Joe Sebok (105k), Josh Arieh (95k), Gavin Smith (87k...although he said he was at 67k), Phil Hellmuth (81k), and Phil Ivey (81k).

Get the full WPT counts here. For more Polish jokes, here.

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The WPT World Championship Is A Big Deal

The fifth season of the World Poker Tour wraps this week with the $25k buy-in WPT World Championship at the Bellagio. About 600 players are expected for what would be (...doing math) a shitload of money.

Wptparty_2The championship event had its official kick-off Thursday night at Light with the WPT Player Appreciation Party (watch as Rich Belsky enthusiastically asks everyone if they're drunk here. He really wants to make sure people are drunk. Seriously, he's into it.) All the big players showed. Free booze flowed. We spent the first part of the night screaming at the top of our lungs over the ridiculously loud Light music talking with the lovely Michele Lewis from Pokerati and her husband. Great party by WPT. Expect a bedlam ensuing trip report in the coming days. It'll make the Bodog/TAO party from last year look like a four year-old girl's stuffed animal tea party.

Some things to look out for at the WPT World Championship:

:: WPT POY Race. Last year, Gavin Smith won. This year, it's all about the spectacularly breasted J.C. Tran, who is currently in front with 2,000 points. Only two men can catch him. One is WCP fave Joe Pelton. He has 1,600 points and would need to finish fifth for a tie or fourth or better to win. Daniel Negreanu has 1,300 points and would need to finish second to tie or first to win POY honors.

:: Live blogging from WCP faves. The WPT has signed on the aforementioned Pelton, plus Isaac Haxton and Paul Wasicka to post before, during, and on breaks while playing the championship event. And if anything crazy happens at their table during play, they'll tell the WPT blogging team about it for an update. Check the blog regularly once the event starts here. One special request to the WPT...can you get Davidson Matthew involved in this?

:: The 100th Episode. Final note, the WPT World Championship will be the 100th broadcast episode (set to air for early August). For the top 100 WPT hands of all time, go here.

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Friday Night Parting Shot: Cecilia Bonelli

Cecilia13Ask the average person and they'll say Brazil produces the hottest girls in the world, but to well studied anthropologists like us, or whatever social science it is that studies hot girls, we know that claim actually goes to Argentina.

In fact, the land the proudly consumes more red meat than any other country in the world is the homeland to so many unbearably hot girls (Rocío Guirao Díaz, Luisana Lopilato, Luján Fernández, María Inés Rivero, Eliana Guercio, Karina Jelinek, Liz Solari, Lorena Giaquinto, Inés Rivero, Romina Lanaro and Daniela Urzi, to name more than a few) that we could solely feature Argentinian girls every week as our Friday Night Parting Shot Girl and never run out of perfectly perfect choices. And we just might to do this.

For now though we'll just go with Cecilia Bonelli, who you may have guessed is a model from Argentina, which is pretty much all you need to know, besides of course the photos (and video) of her after the jump . . .

Continue reading "Friday Night Parting Shot: Cecilia Bonelli " »

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Public Access TV's Alexyss K. Tylor Talking about Penis Power Makes for a Good Post

The below video of Atlanta's public access TV host/sexpert, Alexyss K. Tylor, is a lot like Jill Rockcastle's 10-page letter confessing to killing her husband while throwing his nice guy image under the bus, that is if Jill Rockcastle's letter was about "penis power," "hitting the bottom," "working the middle," and "cum freaks."

Really there is too much good stuff in the video to break it down for you.

Kudos to the first person who can tell us what she says about white bread after she says: "He won't even buy you scrimp from Long John's Silver and what is that plate... $2.99...but he can give you a mouth full of sperm and rectum full of sperm."

Become Alexyss K. Tylor's MySpace friend here. You know you want to.

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ESPN to Shoot WSOP in HD (Joanna Krupa, Please Play Again)

Joannakwsop15Joanna Krupa's ridiculous hotness (hopefully she's back), Jennifer Tilly's fantabulous cleavage and Anna Benson's supreme bitch-itude (she needs the publicity so she'll be there), along with thousands of poker schlubs screaming "That's what I'm talking about" after sucking someone out on the river (still gay sounding), will be seen for the first time in high definition on ESPN this summer when the sports network shoots the WSOP in HD.

While we welcome this news and anxiously await the day we get to see top notch athletes like Takeru Kobayashi devouring hot dogs and Krystal burgers in HD, ESPN viewers who don't watch or play poker have another reason to bitch about the game being broadcast on ESPN.

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Jill Rockcastle Admits to Killing Bill Gustafik, Throws Him Under the Bus in 10-Page Letter

We suppose we don't need to use "alleged" murderer anymore when referencing Jill Rockcastle.

Gustafik2_2In a shocking, to say the least, 10 page letter (link below) emailed to friends and family and written sometime before she attempted to kill herself in California this week, Rockcastle admits to stabbing her husband, Bill Gustafik, to death in their Las Vegas condo last Friday night after a series of arguments involving, among other things, buy-ins into Vegas poker tournaments, including the Bellagio 5-Star World Poker Classic and the WPT World Championship.

But that is by far the least interesting thing she has to say in her lengthy account of Gustafik, their life together and the moments leading up to his death. Rockcastle presents a sordid tale (and completely unsubstantiated accounts) of drug abuse, gambling addiction, a custody dispute and corruption (and much worse); all which hints at the potential beginnings of a Sandy Murphy-like media circus when Rockcastle is brought back to Vegas on murder charges.

While this kind of story is right up the alley for any James McManus wannabes, or James McManus himself, we're thinking of leaving this story alone (or at least significant commentary on it) for principled reasons including, but not withstanding: (a) It doesn't involve Keeley Hazell, and the 49-year-old Jill Rockcastle isn't even Sandy Murphy-like doable; (b) We have a longstanding policy that we just came up with a minute ago about not perpetuating perceived negative societal stereotypes of poker players even if her account and the likely media maelstorm makes it inevitable; (c) we don't have time for this kind of crap and (d) there's no fun in talking about someone who was killed by his wife.

Of course, this is all subject to change on a whim.

LINK TO JILL ROCKCASTLE'S 10-PAGE LETTER (on another website because we don't want her wacko beans spilled on our site and think anyone who copies and pastes it onto their site, other than InsideBayArea.com who first published it, is a jackass for some reason or another)

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Game Show Pro Alex Outhred Wins Half a Mil on "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"

Alex_outhredProfessional game show competitor Alex Outhred, who moonlights as a poker pro and instructor at the World Series of Poker Academy, became the biggest winner thus far on FOX TV's "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" tonight, winning $500,000, which ironically would take the average 5th grade teacher about 124 years to earn.

Outhred, who we must say was a total class act on the show and rep'd poker players well, was just one question away from winning the show's ultimate prize of $1 million but opted not to go for the final question and instead walk safely away with the $500k.

Had he gone for it, host Jeff Foxworthy revealed that the million dollar question was: "Who was the first American Secretary of the Treasury?" which we would have guessed was a woman based on the profession alone but Outhred somehow knew was Alexander Hamilton.

Outhred's half a million game show cash is about 2.5 times more than his total winnings as a tournament poker player, which according to the fifth grader we just asked calculates to $200,000.

Outhred will be back on the small screen this May 16 when his final table appearance at the 2006 WPT Mandalay Bay Championship airs on the Travel Channel.

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David Williams Pwns Street Fighter Alpha 3 and Jessica Alba After the Jump

We'd tell you that David Williams only played the $1500 Stud event at the 2006 World Series of Poker and won his first-ever gold bracelet because he beat Street Fighter Alpha 3 without dying the morning of the tournament, but that would ruin the story he tells in his most recent "Raw Reality" vlog on RawVegas.tv.

David Williams Raw Vegas Video

Okay, trailer to new Jessica Alba movie after the jump . . .

Continue reading "David Williams Pwns Street Fighter Alpha 3 and Jessica Alba After the Jump" »

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El Breaking Newso: Primero WPT Tournamento Ever in Espain

Elsa_pataky_29According to a translation given to us by the hardworking illegal immigrant we just picked up at the Home Depot, Spain-based poker news site Poquer-Red is reporting that the World Poker Tour will host its first ever event in Spain this October at the Gran Casino de Barcelona.

The news follows the announcement earlier this week/month/whenever that the WPT will not shoot in France this year because, other than the insanely gorgeous Melissa Theuriau, everything pretty much blows in France, including its gambling laws.

For the WPT-Spain story in the language of Elsa Pataky (in pic) head over to Poquer-Red.com

For the story in English, re-read this post.

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Gustafik's Widow Locked Up, Awaits Murder Charges

JillrockcastleThe widow/alleged murderer of tournament poker pro William "Bill" Gustafik is now in a California jail after being discharged from a San Luis Obispo hospital. Jill Rockcastle (at right in the best pic we've found of her so far) now awaits transfer to Nevada on murder charges.

To recap, Las Vegas Police first got a call from an anonymous "male subject" at 7:31 pm last Friday that a deceased male was inside a condo unit (#2300) at the Panorama Towers, just off the Vegas strip. Police immediately suspected Rockcastle and wanted to speak with her but she fled to California where she checked into a B&B and was found unconscious in an apparent suicide attempt.

While we're being emailed rumors about the homicide that are undoubtedly 100% true, as all rumors are, we'll hold off on those right now and just say that Rockcastle was into body building like her husband, played poker, inherited some cash, seemed a bit off kilter to some and may or may not have been a Playboy bunny years ago (although we're hearing no on this now) and that from everyone we've talked to Bill Gustafik was pretty much liked by everyone who met or knew him, except his wacko wife last Friday night when she stabbed him to death, allegedly.

Gustafik3_2Gustafik, a regular on the WPT circuit and at the WSOP, can be seen on the Ultimate Poker Challenge "Cash Poker" TV series (in photo at left). He played the February 1 event, which aired recently and also featured Todd Brunson, Chad Brown, Hoyt Corkins and Layne Flack.

After the jump is another photo of Gustafik from his "Cash Poker" TV show appearance, which we know Rockcastle attended (that may or may is not be her seated behind him with the big hair...if you know for sure, let us know).

Continue reading "Gustafik's Widow Locked Up, Awaits Murder Charges" »

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Still Not Done With Keeley Hazell


So much for a new OWCPG for 2007.

After the jump are ridiculously hot new photos of Keeley Hazell (some quasi-NSFW), along with links to the rest of the series that are sure to get you fired.

Her best shots yet? We think so.

Continue reading "Still Not Done With Keeley Hazell" »

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Woman Wins World Poker Classic Event

Maybe not 180-ing the world on its nose, but coming close, Anna Wroblewski, a woman and complete unknown, beat out a final table that included Erick Lindgren and Peter Feldman to win the $3,000 No-Limit Hold'em event at the Five Star World Poker Classic.

For her win, she banks $337,395 that she can now go spend at Target on useless crap.

By the way, we don't even need to look at her photo to know, by name alone, that Anna Wroblewski is a round Polish woman who likely eats double brat sandwiches for breakfast.

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Is Alex Outhred Smarter than a 5th Grader?

AlexouthredFind out this Thursday on FOX at 8:00-9:00 pm EST.

Alex Outhred, who currently is one of the star poker instructors at the WSOP Academy and was everyone's favorite to win the WPT Mandalay Bay event last June, but came in 4th, is the contestant this Thursday on FOX's new prime-time game show "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" with host Jeff Foxworthy.

With just over $200k in career poker winnings, Outhred competed for a maximum cash prize of $1 million on the TV quiz show that pits adults against smarty arse lil 10-year-olds who ridiculue and laugh at you when you don't know the answers to questions.

We're not sure how Alex did--he can't tell us so we'll have to wait until the show airs on Thursday to find out--but we're betting he did better than Larry the Redneck.

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Poker Player Stabbed to Death in Vegas Condo, Wife in Custody

BillgustafikWilliam "The Manipulator" Gustafik, a 44-year-old Las Vegas chiropractor and poker professional, was found stabbed to death this past Friday in his condo unit at the Panorama Towers, a luxury high-rise just off the Vegas strip that David Williams just moved into.

According to the Associated Press, the operators of the towers said that the building's security hadn't been breached and it appears to have been a domestic dispute between Gustafik and his wife Jill Rockcastle. Rockcastle was found Monday unconscious in a motel room in San Luis Obispo and is now in custody.

Of note, Gustafik speaks about his wife on several occasions in his PokerPages profile, saying he is a "devoted husband," and that "[w]ith my beautiful wife by my side and my 9 yr old daughter giving me tips, nothing can stop me." He also states that if "I could change anything in the world: My wife would play live and not just online even though she wins."

We assume he'd also like for her not to kill him.*

Gustafik has won $165k in tournament winnings during the past year and a half with his biggest cash at the WPT Shooting Star in March 2006, where he took home $80k for 10th place.

* Wicked Chops Poker strongly believes that people should be presumed innocent until proven guilty, unless they look really crazy.

UPDATE: Jill Rockinsale is facing murder charges for the fatal stabbing of her husband Bill Gustafik. She was immediately a suspect after the stabbing and the police were hoping to speak with her but she fled to California, checked herself into a B&B and it looked like she was preparing to check herself out of life when the police came upon her. Rockinsale is not the mother of Gustafik's 9-year-old daughter, thankfully. Read the most recent news story here.

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TheWacoKidd is Killing It At Bellagio Five Star World Poker Classic

HambyOnline poker reg TheWacoKidd, who his parents call Jared Hamby, is showing some wicked poker chops at the Bellagio Five Star World Poker Classic, taking down two of the preliminary events and banking over half a million bucks in a matter of five days.

Read about his wins over at PocketFives.com.

Become TheWacoKidd's MySpace pal here.

Check out the hottest Latin chick we've seen in the last cincos minutos aqui.

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BREAKING NEWS: College Students Play Online Poker

Jean_shortsIn a story that would've been dated three years ago, the Gainesville Sun is reporting that college students play online poker for money.

University of Florida campus correspondent Ashley Furrow reports (while wearing jean shorts) that popular sites among a typical UF college student (typical UF college student at right) include Party Poker and Titan Poker. We did a quick double-check on the date of this story to really make sure that it was published today, as there was also no mention of a little thing called the UIGEA, and yeah, it was from today.

In other news, University of Florida students all have mullets and herpes.*

* Not all UF students have mullets.

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Play + Party With Team AOL at the 2007 WSOP

Team AOL, poker's newest and baddest poker team, is going to take the 2007 WSOP by storm this summer, and you, yes you, can win free entry into the 2007 WSOP through AOL starting April 16, which our calendars suggest is today. Don't miss out on your chance to hang out in the Team AOL Lounge with the AOL Girls and party like a rock star with the A-List at the AOL WSOP Kick-Off Party. Details after the jump . . .

But first check out this brilliantly reworked trailer for The Shining, making it seem like a fun little family film, which is probably a little closer to the truth than most of what we said above.

Continue reading "Play + Party With Team AOL at the 2007 WSOP" »

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WSOP Announces Events ESPN Plans to Shoot

Wsop_logoHarrah's just announced the schedule of events ESPN plans to cover at the 2007 World Series of Poker, tentatively.

All together, ESPN, who it's worth noting employs the nicest, most easy-going and professional cameramen, assistant producers, audio techs and grips you'll ever find in the business, plans to shoot 16 hours of coverage of the WSOP Main Event, as well as 10 one-hour programs covering other bracelet events. The $50,000 HORSE Championship will receive six hours of airtime and the format of the final table will include all five games of HORSE, unlike last year which only had NLHE, which isn't HORSE.

The press release, which you can read in its entirety after the jump, lists out all the "coverage" events so narcissistic bastards who want to get their smug mugs on ESPN to "make good TV" for 5 seconds of fame can plan which ones they'll play. The announcement doesn't say when ESPN plans to air their coverage but the word PokerNews.com has is that the first event will air on July 10th, a week before the Main Event wraps, and that the Main Event will broadcast August 21. The HORSE event, according to PokerNews.com, will air as a special event this fall in October.

In related news, the video below of Britney Spears makes the narcisisstic freaky ass Brandi Hawbaker seem kind of normal.

Continue reading "WSOP Announces Events ESPN Plans to Shoot" »

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ThePokerBiz.com Announces Poker's Top 25 Influencers

Tpb25smallNew kid on the poker news block, ThePokerBiz.com, launched a comprehensive listing and ranking of the poker industry's most influential personalities and organizations, not ironically called "ThePokerBiz 25."

Get the rundown of the Top 25 here.

Read ThePokerBiz.com's press release on its newest feature View a hilarious and brilliantly done mash-up movie trailer for Anchorman - the 300 recut after the jump.

Continue reading "ThePokerBiz.com Announces Poker's Top 25 Influencers" »

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Gabe Kaplan to A.J. Benza: You Don't Belong On This Show

LaddGabe Kaplan, the poker player most famous for captaining ABC's Battle of the Network Stars team throughout the late '70s, which included groovy hot ladies like Kristy McNichol, Suzanne Somers, Cheryl Tiegs and the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 1978, Cheryl Ladd (at right), can be kind of a dick as co-host of GSN's "High Stakes Poker."

During last week's season finale, Kaplan's HSP sidekick A.J. Benza, a man who doesn't know crap about poker, was once again upset with Kaplan's constant ribbing of him, complaining on air to Kaplan, "You can't be nice? We're this close to being over for the season."

Kaplan replied, or maybe he retorted, we're not sure, "Let me say what I feel honestly, ... I don't think you know anything about poker. I don't think you belong on this show."

TVWeek.com reports however that "the hostility is somewhat disingenuous," quoting GSN prez Rich Cronin as saying, "Gabe brings his successful professional poker-playing experience and background as a comedian to 'High Stakes Poker.' Along with his co-host, A.J. Benza, they mirror the good-natured ribbing that occurs between the players on the telecasts."

"High Stakes Poker" will return for its fourth season this year, with filming getting underway this May at the South Point Hotel, Casino and Spa in Las Vegas.

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Gavin Smith Has Joe Sebok's Initials Tattooed On His Body

Gavin Smith hasn't so much "owned" Joe Sebok in RawVegas.tv's Prop Bets as he "hasn't even remotely owned" Joe Sebok on RawVegas.tv's Prop Bets.

As Gavin has put it, "Joe is younger than me. Smarter than me. In better shape than me. I don't stand a chance."

Now, as a constant reminder of the above, he's got Sebok's initials tattooed on him. Unfortunately, or actually, fortunately, the tat, which was inked on at Shawn Sheikhan's Diversity parlor, didn't make its way on Gavin's ass. No one would really have wanted to see that. Since the Five Star World Poker Classic is going on, Joe relented, instead opting to have the tattoo strategically placed on Gavin's shoulder. Gavin can now comfortably play in the 5 Star all week. Watch below.

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Not So "Lucky You" Up Against Spidey

Barrymore Eric Bana (not seen in above pic) and new CoverGirl face Drew Barrymore (the girl above) will finally see their poker film Lucky You released on May 4, which happens to be the same day pokerer Tobey Maguire's Spiderman 3 hits screens. Tough competition for a film that was originally set for release almost two years ago and looks only marginally watchable as a poker movie (certainly not up to The 40-Year-Old Virgin standards as a poker movie).

We'll set the line for its opening weekend box office gross at $7,100,000 (if at around 2000+ screens), which is just a tad over half of what Music and Lyrics grossed on its kickoff weekend

Watch the trailer for Lucky You here.

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J.C. Tran's Breasts Keep Getting More Spectacular

Katie32Listen, we're not sure where we're going with this whole "J.C. Tran has spectacular breasts" thing, but here are a few things we do know: 1) it still makes us giggle, 2) we're really getting annoying typing the "." after the "J" and the "C," 3) Jenny Woo and El Blondie's (ex)wife Rhowena do have truly spectacular breasts, as does Bullz-Eye.com Girl Next Door Katie (at right), who looks like the hot sister of former ABC Bachelorette Jen Schefft, and 4) JC Tran is the best tournament player in the world right now.

Tran won the $3,000 buy-in NLH event at the Bellagio Five Star World Poker Classic this week, pushing him well ahead of the pack in the POY race.

In other Five Star news, Mike "Hubb" Haumpton won the $5,000 NLH event, banking $365,995.

For more Five Star results, click here. For lyrics to "Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand," here.

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Barney Gets Frank: No Carve Out for Online Poker


"I am not going to draw a distinction between poker and blackjack," said U.S. Rep. Barney Frank about his forthcoming bill to repeal the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA).

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Josh Arieh on Atlanta Poker Busts: "So Ridiculous. They Blow It Out of Proportion"

Joannakwsop20Atlanta's Josh Arieh chatted it up with Phil Gordon on ESPN's The Poker Edge podcast yesterday and among the topics were the recent poker busts in his hometown. Arieh has played with some of the guys nabbed in the first raid and said that the reports have been blown out of proportion and that the game was a $1,000 max buy-in $5-10 NL game and not a $10k buy-in high stakes game. He also poignantly explained how the media is out to make these poker players, especially in the Roswell raid, seem like the "filth of the Earth," with erroneous accusations about drugs being found.

Also of note, the two talked about Gordon's wedding this weekend and Arieh candidly shared his views on a number of topics, including money management, living in a house full of women, golf hustling, the art of Pot Limit Omaha and how easy it is to win Gavin Smith's money, something Joe Sebok knows a little about.

Check out the MP3 of the podcast here or head over to The Poker Edge. The podcast starts with the illustrious Andrew Feldman reporting the news, followed by a bit on the World Series of Golf, then Josh.

For more pics of Josh and Joanna Krupa at last year's 2006 WSOP Main Event, go here. For interesting facts about ants, go here.

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Congrats Pauly . . .

On the news.

Very true that Rosenbloom left you some big shoes to fill but if anyone can fill them it's us, and if not us, then a few dozen other people we can think of, and if not them, then you. Seriously though, you'll be a great ass-et to Feldman and crew, and we look forward to your daily greetings of "I love Wicked Chops Poker" at the Rio.

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David Williams Has a Lot to Say

David Williams unleashing a stream of consciousness from a shrink's sofa or his latest RawVegas.tv vlog from his sick new leather chair?

Raw Vegas Video

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Gambling911's Jenny Woo Wants You To Have a Better Sex Life

Jennywoo2We've been turning Japanese all week after discovering that our favorite gambling reporter, the dangerously hot and always entertaining Jenny Woo of Gambling911.com, has several ridiculously risqué videos on the Internet under another name, including one particularly salacious and beyond-NSFW video that continues to make us blush upon viewing, among other things.

We've actually been exercising restraint on reporting this as Jenny Woo is like a sister to us, if our sisters were hot-as-balls Asian-American girls with rock-hard bodies and did videos solo-ing in a submissive get up. But they're not. They're nice girls. Not that Jenny isn't, just a different kind of nice.

And sure Jenny should be fair game considering her numerous reports on a certain poker player's alleged and similarly porno-riffic video as well as the numerous pruriently-positioned photos of her on the Gambling911 site, including the infamous "Ant Table Affair" recently in Miami.

But we're just not up to the task right now, for one reason or another. So we'll let someone else fire up the Google engine, discover her alias and run with it as this story is now popping up here and there and soon, perhaps, everywhere.

What we will say though is that the official word we got from Jenny about the particularly scandalous video (you'll know it when you come across it) is that the original purpose of it was "educating couples to have better sex lives," although it now serves as a money maker for a particular site owner and a bishop floggin' aid for its audience.

While no official statement or ackowledgment has been posted by Gambling911.com on their site (although Woo herself did a telling story this week titled "Enough With the Sex Tapes"), Woo's counterpart Payton O'Brien had the following to say to us:

"Jenny Woo should be judged on her exceptional reporting skills and not by some educational video she did many years ago. We support Jenny and all of her previous artistic and creative endeavors."

It's all about the art these days, isn't it?

So we're not coming across as getting completely soft on you, after the jump are some of the more PG-rated photos of Jenny Woo you'll find on your Google search.

Continue reading "Gambling911's Jenny Woo Wants You To Have a Better Sex Life" »

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Girls on the Rail at 2008 WSOP


    Our photog at the 2008 WSOP is having a hard time focusing his lens on the pros at the table. We like him for that. Check out girls on the rail here.

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