Erica Schoenberg Opens David Benyamine's Mail

The headline for this post should probably be "Erica Schoenberg and David Benyamine Are Getting Married" but after watching the PokerWire.com video of Ms. Allen and The Belly, the news of their pending nuptials didn't quite jump out at us like the news that she regularly opens his mail. We don't want to go into detail on why this is a bad idea, at least for us, just in case our current/first wives find out about this so-called "Internet" thing and discover our site, but let's just say there's a warning sign here for David and it rhymes with "rosy ditch."

Lindsay Lohan Has an Important Message for Jerry Buss

In the video below, the virtuous Lindsay Lohan has a simple message for high-stakes pokerer, Lakers owner and drunk driver Jerry Buss.

Sure we could be cynical and point out that Lohan giggles like a 12-year-old girl buzzed on wine coolers when the guy says to the camera "Don't drink and drive!" and that she doesn't particularly say herself not to drink and drive but just to be safe (like passing out in the passenger seat when drunk instead of getting behind the wheel). But really who are we to judge Lohan's intentions . . . when we're busy looking at photos of her nipples.

Bodog Doesn't Like Chops' 2007 WSOP Fantasy Team

Around the compound owned by the Entities that comprise Wicked Chops Poker, we have a few generally agreed upon rules and principles that more or less govern our lives. We like to call these the "Wicked Chops 7 Rules and Principles That More or Less Govern Our Lives" (WC7RaPTMoLGOL). They are as follows:

1) ALWAYS judge a book by its cover. Always. 2) Being attractive can make up for most of life's character flaws. Big boobs do as well. 3) When short-stacked in a tournament and near the bubble, keep singing to yourself, "Hold On," from Wilson Phillips. And in final table play, go with "You're the Best Around" from Joe Espisito. 4) Keep Kings of Leon and Ween in heavy rotation. 5) We fucking hate al-Qaeda and always will and if you think America brought anything terrorist related activities on itself you're a guilt-ridden pussy. 6) Anything [non-sexual] fantasy related is lame. 7) Anything with money wagered on it is cool.

Interestingly, points #6 and 7, some may argue, can directly cause some problems. While in general you can waste an ungodly amount of time on fantasy sports leagues (and for the record, we fail to recognize D&D or any fantasy role playing as something that actually exists...too depressing...what's wrong with you people), it's often worth it if there's money involved.

And that brings us to two 2007 WSOP fantasy drafts that 1/3 of the Entities, Chops, entered last week. The first was through RawVegas.tv and coordinated by the consistently spectacular (though not J.C. Tran breast spectacular, at right) ThePokerBiz.com. The second was for Andrew Feldman's equi-spectacular ESPN Poker Club.

The RawVegas.tv league consists of seven teams: Lance from ThePokerBiz.com, Michele Lewis from Pokerati, Daniel Negreanu, Gavin Smith, Andrew Feldman, and Peter "Nordberg" Feldman. Points are based on buy-in, field size, and final tables. Bodog has put odds on these teams that you can bet on here. This is Chops' team:

Allen Cunningham, Erick Lindgren, Jeff Madsen, Justin Bonomo, Scott Clements, Peter Feldman, Cliff Josephy, Chad Brown, Thor Hansen, John Hoang

Solid squad. Some great mixed game players. A lot of young guys who will play in many events. Yet, Bodog has this team at 5-1 odds, behind Negreanu, Gavin, and the two Feldmans. Cunningham is a bracelet waiting to happen, Lindgren is playing well and due for bracelet #1, Madsen is only the returning WSOP POY, Bonomo has been on a tear since turning 21, and everyone else, save Thor (random pic), is a safe bet for multiple cashings.

The ESPN team league consists Andrew Feldman, Bernie Lee, Paul Wasicka, Daniel Negreanu, Mark Seif, Gavin Smith, Nordberg, and a few others. Slightly different rules and scoring system that takes cashings--not just final tables--into account.

The Wicked Chops team in that league is:

Phil Ivey, Gavin Smith, David Williams, Jeff Madsen, Cliff Josephy, Alan Goehring, Scott Clements and Anthony Reategui (replaced by Madsen mortal enemy, E-FRO)

Read all about it here. Bodog does not have odds on that one. But read full Bodog odds on the RawVegas.tv league after the jump. Track all RawVegas.tv standings on ThePokerBiz.com.

Jerry Buss-ted for Driving Drunk

When we last saw high-stakes poker player and LA Lakers owner Jerry Buss in person, it was at the Commerce Casino in LA this past March and the 74-year-old was palling around with an absurdly hot chick in her early twenties who reminded us that when we're as old as Buss, our current/first wives will not be in their early twenties, but instead will be old as dirt, which is exactly why they are our current/first wives.

While this has nothing to do with Buss getting arrested today for driving while intoxicated in Carlsbad, it does make us wonder if Jeannana Flores, the 23-year-old girl who was in the car with Buss at the time of the arrest, is the same chick we saw with Buss last March (and no, we're not talking about the girl in the PokerNews interview with Buss). The name however doesn't necessarily fit the package of the girl we saw in as much as it conjures up the thought of a certain Puerto Rican trannie prostitute we once knew.

In a statement released by the Lakers today, Buss said:

"Although I was driving only a short distance, it was a bad decision and I was wrong to do it. It was a mistake I will not make again."

Ironically this is almost word for word the same thing we've said at least 147 times before.

For more on the Jerry Buss DUI bust, read a newspaper.

* Photo of Jerry Buss at the 2007 WPT Invitational taken by Pokulator.com.

Daut, Juanda, McNulty Among Chip Leaders at WPT Mandalay Bay Championship

While we think the above headline pretty much tells you all you need to know about Day 2 of the WPT Mandalay Bay Poker Championship, here's a few added details, strictly for your benefit:

:: Ryan Daut (Daut44 or something) is chip leader, stacked at 322,300. Day 1 chip leader Shawn Buchanan is second overall with 278,500. He's followed by the likes of John Juanda (227,300), potential Reggie Cleveland all-star and stuck-in-an-elevator-hot Chantel McNulty (215,300), Barry Greenstein (213,000) and the Grinder (188,000).

:: 33 players remain from a starting field of 228.

:: First prize is still $768,775.

That's about it.

Get great live blogging from the WPT here.

While we think the above headline pretty much tells you all you need to know about Day 2 of the WPT Mandalay Bay Poker Championship, here's a few added details, strictly for your benefit:

:: Ryan Daut (Daut44 or something) is chip leader, stacked at 322,300. Day 1 chip leader Shawn Buchanan is second overall with 278,500. He's followed by the likes of John Juanda (227,300), potential Reggie Cleveland all-star and stuck-in-an-elevator-hot Chantel McNulty (215,300), Barry Greenstein (213,000) and the Grinder (188,000).

:: 33 players remain from a starting field of 228.

:: First prize is still $768,775.

That's about it.

Get great live blogging from the WPT here.

Brandi Hawbaker is Humble

We didn't quite make it through this video of Brandi Hawbaker at the Mandalay Bay Poker Championship since it focuses just on her face and has her talking the whole time, but if we had to guess what she was talking about we'd go with Russia's recent missile test, the crisis in Darfur, Chavez's widening attack on opposition media in Venezuela and how she can't get enough dick. Oh, we also assume that she stays humble the whole time and doesn't come across as a narcissistic, two-bit, Paris Hilton wannabe.

Brandi Hawbaker at the Mandalay Bay Poker Championship.

Were we right?

Juanda, Benyamine, Gold Among Chip Leaders at WPT Mandalay Bay Poker Championship

While we think the above headline pretty much tells you all you need to know about Day 1 of the WPT Mandalay Bay Poker Championship, here's a few added details, strictly for your benefit:

:: Shawn Buchanan leads everyone, stacked at 158,075. He's followed by the likes of John Juanda (112,325), super-hot Erica Schoenberg's boyfriend, David Benyamine (110,375), and 2006 WSOP ME champ Jamie Gold (93,000).

:: 108 players remain from a starting field of 228.

:: First prize is $768,775.

That's about it.

Get great live blogging from the WPT here.

We Thought You Were Kidding!

Veronica Corningstone: 'I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. I told you that.'
Ron Burgundy: "I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke, I even wrote it down in my diary. 'Veronica had a very funny joke today.' I laughed at it later that night!"

After hearing that Erica "Allen" Schoenberg (at right) defeated Anna Wroblewski heads-up to win a $2,500 NLH prelim event at the Mandalay Bay Poker Championship, we didn't believe it. Couldn't happen. Two women competing for a title in a non-WPT-Ladies-Night event? Impossible.

Then, we checked out Poker Pages again this morning, figuring they'd fix the error. However, much to our dismay, the results remained the same. Then we called the Mandalay Bay poker room and said, "Excuse us. We found the most hilarious practical joke the other day on Poker Pages. It said that Erica Schoenberg, a woman, beat Anna Wroblewski, a woman, heads-up to win a poker tournament. A NON women's only poker tournament. Are we being PUNK'D?"

When they informed us we weren't being PUNK'D, we then proceeded to rip our houses apart, trying to find what was surely a hidden camera somewhere. "Wow, Kutcher is really getting us this time. He's taking this joke far. Too far."

About $980,000 in what will now be home renovations later, we still weren't convinced. Then, we looked out the window and saw Jesus himself riding a white horse with a sword in hand from the sky, and immediately thought three things: 1) Wow, looks like Erica did defeat Anna heads-up for a poker title, 2) we better write this post quick, and 3) too bad we never got to see Erica's strip poker DVD with Carmen Elektra.

Nice knowing you. All of you. Except YCO, maybe.

Watch Chuck Liddell Get His Ass Kicked. Again.

Chuck "Iceman" Liddell, the MMA poster boy who got knocked out by Quinton "Rampage" Jackson in the first round of UFC 71 on Saturday night after he allegedly partied his ass off the week before, is one of the many celebrities who appears this week on ION TV's rebroadcast of the first season of "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker."

The series is airing daily this week at 10pm / 9pm Central, starting Monday, May 28 and wraps up in a "special three hour poker marathon," Saturday, June 2 at 8pm / 7pm Central.

We won't spoil it for you in case you missed the show last year and didn't read the headline above and were wondering if Liddell (seen in pic doing his best Calvin Ayre "Welcome to My World" impression) makes it to the final table, but we will say that, according to ION TV, the final table features Cheryl Hines, David Williams, Josh Arieh, Evelyn Ng, Rob Mariano, Michael Mizrachi, a mystery pro (named Daniel Negreanu) and no one named Chuck Liddell.

In case you don't recall, the controversial first season of "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker" generated a fair share of posts at WCP last year. Refresh your memory below:

:: Top Dog: Ayre Looking for Next Poker Phenom

:: Bodog Gets Sued Over "Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker," Series Starts this Saturday on FSN

:: Ayre Estate Raided

:: Bodog Bites Back: Billionaire Ayre Wants Raid Investigated

:: Exclusive BoDawg.com "Cracker Pack" Photos

Also, don't forget to audition for the second season of Calvin Ayre Wild Card Poker, which is totally different than the first in that $2 million is up for grabs and the competition will be all amateurs this time, so no pros, celebs and Chuck Liddells there to kick the crap out of you.

After the jump, two videos of Chuck Liddell doing his best impression of a MMA fighter being drunk out of his mind on a morning news show and a MMA fighter acting coked up in the audience at a UFC fight. Seriously, watch out Gordie Brown. This Liddell guy is amazing at impressions.

The 2007 WSOP Starts This Week

Hot damn. The 2007 WSOP starts this week. Friday. June 1st.

The Entities that comprise Wicked Chops Poker will be in Las Vegas for the entire Series this year. Start to finish. The whole enchilada. The whole nine yards. The Billy Zabka bonanza.

So as we prep, let's regurgitate. Here's our thoughts on why winning a bracelet is like fucking Paris Hilton, as first published in BLUFF Magazine.

In just a few short weeks, the world’s greatest sporting event, the World Series of Poker, will get underway.

However, thanks to those Fristian fascists responsible for sneaking the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA) through the ports security bill last September, the fields won’t be anywhere near as big as they have been in year’s past.

But does that mean some of the WSOP’s luster has faded?

It’s something we here at Wicked Chops Poker are struggling with. And by “struggling with” me mean “just thought about 10 minutes ago as we were writing this article.”

With its increased number of events and what will likely be significantly smaller fields, winning a WSOP bracelet just might not mean as much as it did a few years ago.

When you think about it, winning a WSOP bracelet is comparable to sleeping with Paris Hilton.

Lacey Jones Ain't Digging the Clams

Lacey Jones - RawVegas.tv video

Anne Heche's Ex-Hubby is Father of the Year

We're not so much experts in child rearing as we are experts at child making and getting greeting cards in the mail every Father's Day from random kids in Alabama, Mississippi and the South Pacific. So this may explain why we don't quite get how the certfiably insane, former lesbiana Anne Heche is claiming her ex-hubby, Coley Lafoon, was "not a proper stay-at-home parent" just because he leaves their 5-year-old son with nannies while he "plays pingpong, backgammon and poker and views pornography online."

Perhaps we're just missing something here but isn't that what nannies are for, or put another way, what's the point of having kids, if not for nannies.

Heche also complains that Laffoon "holds a poker game at his home every Thursday night and allows Homer to participate."

So what's wrong with . . . wait . . . the kid's name is Homer? Homer Laffoon? Damn, that's cruel. And Heche is worried about the kid being left with nannies? What about other kids kicking the shit out of him at day care 'cause his name is Homer Laffoon?

Anyway, that's enough about Anne Heche. Fuckin' hate Anne Heche.

For a somewhat related story that puts forth our well thought out position on all this, read our "Brad Pitt Likes Poker More Than His Adopted Kids" post.

Phil Ivey Does Not Win the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown

Ok, you'd think that if you've made seven short-handed final tables, and you're the best poker player in the world, that just by dumb luck you'd have won one of them by now, right?

Guess not. Going into final table play of the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown as the chip leader, Phil Ivey busted out in fifth place, banking $129,684, or as Phil likes to call it, "butt-wiping money."

Going out first was Burt from Sesame Street. Burt busted on the second hand of final table play. Burt banks $100,865 for his efforts.

Also not winning this tournament was Day 2 + 3 chip leader Darrell "Gigabet" "Deep" Dicken. He went out in third and collected $259,369.

Well at least did the fantastically name-alliterated Cory Carroll win? Nope. Second. $561,369.

That leaves us with Richard Kirsch and Jonathan Little. And rather than struggle for a few minutes to come up with some sort of snarky comment on each, like how dudes whose names are Jon but insist on going by Jonathan bug the hell out of us, we'll just say that Jonathan Little won this thing, taking home $1,066,295 and his first WPT title.

In more entertaining, watch UFC fighter Forrest Griffen kick this guy in the leg:

WPT Picks a Brit Brunette with Big Breasts as New Hostess, Not Keeley Hazell Though

Almost 20 days since we first broke the news that Sabina Gadecki got Friel'd just ahead of Season VI of the WPT, our favorite televised tour has finally announced her replacement, and she's a brunette British model/actress with big boobs whose name is somehow not Keeley Hazell and who looks strangely like a cute, anorexic Nicole Richie on a very pretty day for the coke lovin' orphan, if Richie donned a wig, had spectacular breasts and a really nice ass. Ok, she looks nothing like Richie.

Layla Kayleigh is her name, which we're pretty sure was also the name of an 80's song. She was born in London. She's 23 and has already done Maxim, has pics all over the Internet in her undies, and she's been an on-air correspondent for Fox Sport's "Best Damn Sports Show Period", The Vegas Insider, as well as a co-host on G4's Attack of the Show and host of “The Feed” news segment.

She also was on Al Gore's Current TV, which some of us entities won't hold against her.

Check out Layla's official website here.

Ponder her Maxim photos here.

See her do the mic thing on video here.

And finally view a video compilation of all you'll find on the net of her here.

After the jump, read the official press release from the WPT, sprinkled with photos of Layla. It includes Steve Lipscomb's statement on her hiring, which is pretty much word for word what he said about Sabina last year. Love Steve Lipscomb, totally genuine guy.

Will Phil Win His First WPT Title?

Earlier this week, the Bodog Beat posed the following:

Not to say Ivey isn’t the Tiger Woods of Poker, but if Woods was among the final six players on the final day of six different golf matches, he surely would have walked away with at least one title. Just saying.

Yes, Phil Ivey has won just about everything you can win in poker.

Except a WPT title.

So with six remaining, will this be the time that Phil Ivey adds a WPT title to his five WSOP bracelets and countless international and cash game earnings?

Ivey has the chip lead going into the final table, stacked at 1,395,000. Close behind him is Cory Carroll, the man with incredible name-alliteration, with 1,235,000. Darrell "Gigabet" "Deep" Dicken proves that stamina goes a long way, as he'll bring 1,203,000 to final table play.

The rest of the final table consists of: Jonathan Little - 956,000, Richard Kirsch - 810,000, Burt from Sesame Street - 571,000.

Cards fly at 5pm EST. Read final table blogging here.

* Image from World Poker Tour.

Jessica Alba Not Chosen to Replace Sabina Gadecki as WPT Hostess

With the first WPT final table of Season VI getting underway tomorrow, Steve Lipscomb, a man who we hear loves Wicked Chops Poker, has yet to announce Sabina Gadecki's replacement, let alone the fact that the cutey model/actress has left/been ousted from her role as the WPT hostess after just one season with the tour.

Our sources are telling us, however, that despite what the voices in our heads confirmed after we hashed up cactus juice and cough syrup at an aeropuerto de México this past fin de semana, Jessica Alba has not, we repeat has not been tapped as Gadecki's replacement. Yes, you can imagine our disappointment when we woke up from this past weekend's trip . . . about 25 minutos ago . . . in a prisona de Guatemala.

On the good news front, the prisona has a great wi-fi connection so we can tell you that Alba did do a smoking hot spread for GQ, a magazine chock full of photos of hot girls, except replace "hot girls" with "several too many photos of sharp-dressed gay men hawking duds, kicks and cologne."

You can check out the entire Alba GQ spread here. It's loads of fun.

A Word from a Sponsor

Deep Dicken - Part II

Darrell Dicken, whose last name has "dick" in it which therefore makes it funny, has extended his lead at the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown. After pounding the competition during Day 2 and nearly lapping the field, Dicken's chip count continues to rise, and he is now impressively stacked at 1,167,000. Reports are his stack is long and most importantly, has thick girth. Dick. En.

Trailing Dicken is Cory Carroll stacked at 697,000. Cory won a WSOP Circuit main event earlier this month at Caesar's Palace.

The TV final table looks to be packed with some big names, as many high profile pros remain. For this season's first WPT event, Darrell Dicken and crew are proving that the cream rises to the top.

Among those remaining include: Burt from Sesame Street (532,000), Phil Ivey (475,000), Shannon Shorr (197,000), John D'Agostino (186,000), Jon Friedberg (145,000), Nam Le (136,000), Davidson Matthew (111,000), David "the Dragon" Pham* (107,000), and Alan Goehring (60,000).

*Not a real dragon.

Deep Dicken

With Day 2 wrapped at the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown, Darrell "Gigabet" Dicken (at right) is big stacked, almost lapping the field with 501,900. Dicken won the first prelim event of the Mirage Poker Showdown, and he's hoping to go deep and bang out a second Mirage win in just two under weeks. Dick. En.

Stacked second overall is some guy named Phil Ivey. Is he good? Never heard of him. He's stacked at 284,900.

John D'Agostino made a big run during Day 2 and ended the day with 279,100. Also surviving to Day 3 is WCP fave Davidson Matthew with 167,000.

Only 40 remain from the original 309 person, mostly male field. Other notables include: Jon Friedberg (245,600), Chip Reese (175,000), Eric Froehlich (166,200), creepy as hell Rene Angelil (111,800), David "the Dragon" Pham* (97,900), Nam Le (65,500), and Shannon Shorr (65,200).

* Not a real dragon.

* Image from World Poker Tour.

Showdown Poker Mirage WPT of 1 Day Leads Matthew Davidson

Us amaze to ceases never Matthew Davidson. Last a for first a and first a for name last a has he if even. Remarkable more much that consistency his makes that.

Tournament a of stage some at it of top the near somewhere be will Davidson Matthew that chance good pretty a there's, board leader chip a there's if, see. 156,625 at stacked, Showdown Poker Mirage WPT the leads currently Davidson.

141,125 with Alaei Daniel crusher game cash is Davidson behind right.

Here click, board leader chip full the for.

Prepositions with sentences of lot a end you makes really backwards writing. Upon highly looks "academia" something not.

WPT Season Six Starts Today; Where's Sabina's Replacement?

The sixth season of the World Poker Tour kicks off today with the Mirage Poker Showdown, and no hot blonde has yet been named as the new WPT hostess.

While at the WPT World Championship we overheard multiple people whose last name ryhmes with Fadecki mentioning that ultra-cute Sabini Gadecki would likely not be returning as hostess this season. She was as good as Friel'd. So we figured that Lipscomb & Co. would've had another tall, attractive blonde lined up any day now.

Instead, the only thing we've heard from the WPT lately is this open forum (read this exactly crafted letter from Matt Matros) about revising the final table blind structure. Here's an idea: make the blind structure less aggressive so the guys and occassional fluke woman participants can play more. Look, we just saved you hours of internal debate! Genius!

Now go on to naming your next hot host already.

For live blogging updates of the WPT Mirage Poker Showdown, click here.

Move Along, There's Nothing to Read Here

David Williams Has a Rough Life + Gavin Smith Finally Takes One

When we unloaded one of our Bentley Coupes in Vegas a few years back because it was a lemon, who would have thunk David Williams would end up with it?

Raw Vegas Video - David Williams

Latest "Prop Bets" episode "starring" Gavin Smith and Joe Sebok after the jump . . .

Noooooooooooo!!! PokerNews.com to Replace Card Player as Official WSOP Chip Counting and Live Reporting Source

Dammit.

Dammit dammit dammit.

Dammit.

It was announced today that PokerNews.com, through BLUFF Media, will provide chip counts and live reporting for the worldseriesofpoker.com website.

Will PokerNews.com do a bang up job on chip counting and live reporting? Yes. Because they have pros on the job, like this guy and that guy and that one girl and the other guy, and they all know their shit.

And will this have a negative impact on Wicked Chops Poker content during the WSOP? Unfortunately, yes.

If you recall, last year Card Player did an almost legendary job reporting on the WSOP. It would almost be impossible to ever replicate the job they did. You could try to create that kind of chemistry for years, decades even, but never be able to capture the lightning in a bottle Card Player did during last year's WSOP.

If you don't remember Card Player's Like You Were There Moments (TM), please check out this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this (which includes a bonus photo of Keeley Hazell for some reason) for a refresher. As you can tell, they will be sorely missed.

Read the full release on PokerNews.com providing WSOP chip counts and live reporting after the jump.

Shana Hiatt is Still Sexy Cute

A couple of us entities stopped by a taping of "Poker After Dark" on Tuesday at the South Point Casino and can confirm that Shana Hiatt is still adorably sexy and dangerously cute, which we think is a hard combo to pull off but people always tell us we make it look easy. As does Shana, both in person and in photos like this.

In related news, professional thong wearer Karina Jelinek, who of course is Argentinian, just made us forget about Shana Hiatt for a second.

WSOP Rewarding Mediocrity!

The World Series of Poker has announced a revised payout structure this year, paying winners less and non-winners more.

According to its press release:

...the 2006 Main Event would have paid $22,266 for 873rd through 775th places, up from $14,605 or $15,512. Places 82 through 73 would have paid $126,173, up from $66,010. First place would have paid $10,028,715, down from $12 million, while second place would have been worth $5,442,769, compared with $6,105,900.

This revised payout structure would remain consistent for all events. So if it's bubble time and you can hold on like Wilson Phillips, your reward will be much greater than in year's past.

"Wicked Chops Poker, what do you think about this revised payout structure?" you are probably asking yourself right now. And it's a great question. Because we're all for spreading the wealth around. Like this one time we were talking about donating $1,000,000 to homeless kids in Asia, then we decided to take a vacation to New Zealand instead and buy a(nother) house on the beach there. And after we bought it and were sitting on the porch enjoying a sunset while smoking cigars, we talked about how great it was that we could give back to the New Zealand economy. Not because any of us are from there or anything, but they've given us so much over the years as one of our favorite vacation destinations, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Read the full press release after the jump.

WPT Doesn't Announce Sabina Gadecki's Replacement

But they did announce their Season VI tournament schedule, which will see the once-popular poker show heading to some first-time destinations, including Barcelona, Turks & Caicos and Biloxi, the last of which takes place September 6-9 along the Gulf Coast, during the height of what many expect to be an active hurricane season. Not predicting anything here. Just saying.

The schedule includes 19 regular-season WPT tour stops and the annual ladies-only event, which, to point out the obvious, is the only tournament a woman has ever won on the WPT.

The WPT also said that several themed invitation events will be announced at a later date. A long overdue "Midgets-Only" event we hope. Or maybe a "Narcissistic Tramps of Poker" event or "Men Who Shagged Rhowena" night would spice things up, although the WPT usually limits its TV tables to just six players.

With the first final table of Season VI just days away, the WPT still opted not to announce any word on the Friel-ing of Sabina Gadecki, who, if the forums are any indication, won't be missed, which actually makes us feel bad for Sabina and want to reach out and give her a hug and ask her to make us dinner. We did get word from a few sources and our inner voices that the WPT has already picked a replacement for Gadecki. We're not saying who the new host is yet except that it isn't her, her, her or her.

Unfortunately.

Lucky You Flops Opening Weekend

In what should come as no surprise to anyone unfortunate enough to have seen a 10-minute preview of it during last year's WSOP, Lucky You bombed this weekend at the box office, making the headline of this post inevitable.

It's almost a miracle to only make $2.5M in (studio estimated) ticket sales with a multi-million dollar advertising and marketing campaign, as Lucky You did. That's only $996 per screen! We could make a movie called Sitting on the Can While Writing This Post, make it last 90 minutes, or in other words, put out a documentary of how and when we typically write our posts, and make more than $2.5M in (estimated) box office receipts. And our little documentary doesn't even star Drew Barrymore. It's just starring us taking a crap for 90 minutes!

De La Hoya vs. Mayweather, Joanna Krupa's Birthday Bash, the Derby, Poker at the Venetian, The Ninja Midgets . . .

Who has time to write anything?

Until later, kill time with some quasi-NSFW pics of Joanna Krupa in a Polish men's mag.

Lucky You a Rotten Tomato

Lucky You, the poker-themed chick flick directed by Curtis Hanson and starring Drew Barrymore, Eric Bana and Robert Duvall, opens tomorrow, after ten or so previously announced release dates going back to 2005.

And the reviews don't look pretty.

"An impressive-looking but aimless bluffer, tossing down more angles than it's able to carry through. It doesn't go downhill as much as it staggers and wanders along a craggy slope." - Newsday

"A decent movie just wasn't in the cards." - Entertainment Weekly

"After several delayed release dates, Warner Bros. finally lays down its cards with Lucky You, and it's a weak hand." - Variety

"It's dull, dull, dull." - Hollywood Reporter

"When you reach the 90-minute mark in Lucky You, it may occur to you that nothing has happened except a couple meaningless games of poker and a semi-romance between two people who aren't suited for each other." - St. Paul Pioneer Press

Movie review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes so far shows Lucky You having a 38% rating on its Critics Tomatometer, which is code for "it sucks."

Not that there aren't any good reviews. We're just choosing to ignore them.

Sabina Gadecki Gets Friel'd, Not Coming Back for Season VI of the World Poker Tour

All right. We speculated wrongly.

In a post last week, we stated that someone was going to get whacked from Season VI of the World Poker Tour. It caused quite a stir around the Fontana Poker Room, with most of the players and media types we spoke with thinking Mike Sexton would be the one to go, as he simply doesn't need the WPT. He's set financially. Or maybe he wants to play more poker and high stakes golf matches. Who knows. 

We, on the other hand, assumed it was Vince Van Patten who wouldn't be coming back, sex appeal and really good hair be damned!

But over the course of the week we have heard from multiple, well-placed sources that it is actually the show's shamefully cute hostess, Sabina Gadecki, who after one season is departing just like her predecessor Courtney Friel did after hosting Season IV of the tour (Friel is now roving it as a part-time reporter for the Fox News Channel).

Gadecki's departure comes as a surprise to many who thought the aspiring actress/model and former Miss Polonii Świata and Miss Polonia World 2002 might just be able to fill the shoes (leopard print dresses, bikinis, etc.) of everyone's favorite poker hostess, Shana Hiatt (seen at left from her spectacularly splendid Stuff Magazine spread).

Shana charmed us the first three seasons of the WPT, abruptly left due to some behind-closed-doors conflicts, then sued the WPT after they tried to Peacock-block her. Now she hosts NBC's poker line-up, including its late night ratings winner "Poker After Dark."