2007 WSOP Update: While We Were Out Over the Weekend

We'd be lying if we said we were anywhere near the Rio this past weekend. Actually we'd be lying if we said we remember where we were this weekend or how we ended up in the back of a Coupe de Ville off Hwy 376 outside Carvers, Nevada, or let alone, what happened to our kidneys. But nonetheless we're back in Las Vegas today and to get you, and us, back to speed, below are some quick updates on what's happened with some links to jump to.

:: Kid Who Looks 12 Wins $5,000 NLHE Event - James Mackey, who looks exactly like Opie Taylor and could pass as Burt Boutin's great, great, great grandson, won event #22, the $5,000 No Limit Hold'em event. The no-way-he's-old-enough-to-drink-let-alone-drive 21-year-old banked $730,740 and a WSOP bracelet for the win. Word has it that after his win Mackey headed to Chuck E. Cheese and got drunk on Shirley Temples with Jasper T. Jowls and the rest of the gang in Munch's Make Believe Band to celebrate. ThePokerBiz.com.

:: Elezra Takes Nguyen in Drunken Stud Fest - Everyone knows that seven card stud hi-lo is a drunk man's game and so it's no suprprise that Event #24, the $3,000 7CS Hi-Lo event, came down to a beer-soused bettor's brawl between high stakes card tosser Eli Elezra and the mullet prince of poker Scotty Nguyen. Elezra, who by all accounts got the drunkest, ended up winning the event to take home his first WSOP bracelet. - Bodog Beat

:: From Bust to Win, D-Dub Rolls to Victory in $5K Bellagio Event - David Williams busted out of a WSOP event last Thursday faster than a Bangkok hooker hooked on Adderall, then rolled on over to the Bellago in his new Bentley Coupe to play their $5,000 event. A day later the WSOP bracelet winner beat out a final table that included Roland de Wolfe, David Dicken and John Gale for the first place prize of $130,000 and $25K seat to the next WPT Championship. - PokerListings.com

:: Scott Clement Stares Down Victory in $1500 PLO Event - Scott Clements is scary, stare-y good at poker, dominating the final table in the $1500 PLO event at the 2007 WSOP just like he did last year when he won his first WSOP bracelet in Omaha Hi/Lo and his first WPT title at the Canadian Open Championship. The 25-year-old, who could kill you with a cold hard stare, or at least creep you out, walked with $194,206 for the win. It was Clements second final table and third cash at this year's WSOP. - PokerNews.com

:: Ralph Schwartz Runaways With Win In $5,000 HORSE Event - High-stakes poker player Ralph Schwartz bested a final table that included Phil Ivey, Robert Mizrachi and Bill Gazes to take down the $5,000 HORSE event at the 2007 WSOP. The 28-year-old, who shunned requests for interviews after the win in favor of a smoke, cashed $275,683 alongside his first WSOP bracelet. - PokerNews.com

:: Nice Guy Ben Ponzio Wins Event #25, the $2,000 No-Limit Hold'em Event - Not much else to say besides Ben Ponzio, a really nice guy, won event #25, the $2,000 No Limit Hold'em Event at the 2007 WSOP. He won $599,467 in addition to the gold bracelet. - CardPlayer.com

:: Phil Hellmuth's Ego Celebrates Record 60th Cash, Seeks 12th Bracelet - Phil Hellmuth, who's ego is on loan from God, is near the top of the chip count on Day 2 of the $3,000 No Limit Hold'em Event and has secured his 60th WSOP cash. Hellmuth is also 100% guaranteed to win his 12th bracelet, that is unless luck gets involved. - PokerNews.com

Photos of Joanna Krupa in the latest issue of RALPH because unlike all of the above players, she is Joanna Krupa.

Comments

[Maridu]

LOOOOOL, idiots! I have your kidneys! Didn't go for much, were all damaged.