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June 17, 2007 - June 23, 2007

Justin Henry Plays Poker

16candles485_2"What the hell are you bitchin' about? I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork."

There's very few people in the world we'd be more excited to find out played poker than Justin Henry.

Maybe Billy Zabka. Perhaps Adrian Zmed. Possibly Stiles from Teen Wolf.

Justin Henry is right up there on the top of the list, on par with the likes of John Parr.

Henry is playing in Event #38 ($1,500 NLH) today (photos coming shortly). The same Justin Henry you loved in Sixteen Candles. Or cried with in Kramer vs. Kramer. Or were shocked to find out after an IMDB search was in Lost.

UPDATE: After much thought, we've come up with our dream WSOP table of '80's stars: Justin Henry, Billy Zabka, Adrian Zmed, Stiles from Teen Wolf, John Parr, The Road Warriors (when they came into the ring to Iron Man, that was fucking awesome), Koko B. Ware, and, what the hell, Ed Meese.

UPDATE II: Henry has made it to Day 2 with over 47,000 in chips.

UPDATE III: We have a pic of Justin Henry at the 2007 WSOP:

UPDATE IV: Justin Henry finished 50th out of 2,778 players and earned $12,893 in his WSOP debut.

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2007 WSOP Tournament Updates

Smurf:: Alan Smurfit took down Event #33 ($1,500 PLO w/ rebuys), smurfing the competition. For the win, Smurfit smurfed $464,867. Chau Giang smurfed in fifth ($96,005), Brandon Adams was sixth ($75,794), and Erick Lindgren smurfed in tenth ($21,054).

:: Tony Soprano Jeffrey Lisandro ($118,426) defeated...dare we say...a star-studded Seven Card Stud final table (Event #32, $2,000 7CS) that included Nick Frangos (second, $65,902), Davidson Matthew Club member Nesbitt Coburn (third, $42,643), Daniel Negreanu (fifth, $21,321). Howard Lederer finished tenth ($6,203), as did Mel Judah.

:: Save "Viet" Nam Le, a bunch of dudes you've probably never heard of make up the Event #35 final table ($1,500 NLH).

:: Alexander Borteh captured Event #34 ($3,000 Limit Hold'em), banking $225,483.

:: And Massimo Reynaud leads the Event #36 ($5,000 Omaha Hi/Lo) final table, stacked at 529,000. Randy "Dreamcrusher" Jensen is fifth at 283,000.

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Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell Does Audrey Hepburn

Keeleyhazellaudreyhepburn1aThis post doesn't really require any set up except to tell you that after the jump are photos from Keeley Hazell's latest shoot where she does her best impression of classic beauty Audrey Hepburn, that is, if Audrey Hepburn had 32Es, an aversion to clothing and liked to pose in the nude for about $200k a pop.

For Keeley Hazell photos of her posing like Kylie Minogue, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and other girls we may or may not pull our pants down for even if a bottle of penicillin wasn't nearby, go here, here, here and here.

Meanwhile in poker news, some events are going on, bad beat stories are being told and bracelets are being won at the 2007 World Series of Poker.

Or so we heard.

Continue reading "Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell Does Audrey Hepburn" »

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Mike Matusow Doing the Costanza at the 2007 WSOP

Costanzaposing_2You don't want to watch the Raw Vegas video below. Seriously, you don't. It's awful, and we're actually pretty sure you could sue us for intentional infliction of emotional distress if you do and we don't need to pay our lawyers any more money. Those shysters are living the good life already thanks to the recent surge of paternity suits being filed against us by villager girls off the coast of New Zealand. Shit, we haven't even been near there in like 8 or 9 months.

If you do watch the video, let this be fair warning to do so with your eyes closed. Because you see that pic of George Costanza? Well, think that but instead Mike Matusow laying down with his shirt off in the Poker Royalty lounge at the 2007 World Series of Poker. And then throw up in your mouth. And that's pretty much what you can expect.


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Joanna Krupa to Play Main Event Thanks to Tony G

Joannakwsop11_2
We just got the inside word that TonyGPoker has signed the flagrantly sexy Joanna Krupa as its official spokesmodel and will be sending her to play in this year's Main Event at the 2007 World Series of Poker.

Alle-fuck-n-luia.

Krupa, who was our OWCPG of 2006 until we discovered Keeley Hazell, was a major attraction at last year's WSOP Main Event, where she rep'd Titan Poker and gave each of the nine guys at her table more than their $10,000 worth as she lasted past Day 1. Her official website has been teasing her return to the WSOP for some time now, saying "it looks like you will see her and her poker face again at the WSOP this year." And now, straight from the man himself, Tony G, it has been confirmed she'll be back.

To refresh your memory why we once called Joanna Krupa the hottest girl in Christendom, check out some past Wicked Chops Poker posts.

:: Joanna Krupa Photos from 2006 World Series of Poker

:: Friday Night Parting Shot: Joanna Krupa (Again)

:: Friday Night Parting Shot: Joanna Krupa

:: Joanna Krupa Loves Poker

:: Joanna Krupa Does the Leopard Print + Look from Behind Pose Like a Champ

:: 200 People We Hope Look More Like Joanna Krupa than Joe Stillman Will Compete for Strip Poker Title in London

:: Calvin Ayre Tip Sheet: Meet Joanna Krupa

:: Joanna Krupa's "Go Naked" Posters Make for a Good Post

:: For the Hump, Joanna Krupa

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Phil Hellmuth is Still Humble

Just moments after his WSOP record-tying 39th final table, poker pro Phil Hellmuth displayed absolute humility on camera as he talked candidly about his disappointment in not winning a 12th bracelet. It's touching, to say the least, to see the once-immature, boastful Hellmuth continue to grow, overcome his character defects and become a better person.

OK, now replace everything we just said above with "Phil Hellmuth is still an arrogant chump."

Watch the Phil Hellmuth video below on RawVegas.tv, if you can withstand the pain.

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Terrence Chan Makes a Name for Himself at 2007 WSOP

TerrencenotjohnnychanTerrence Chan, the 26-year-old, Vancouver poker pro who famously is not Johnny Chan, finished second yesterday in the $2500 No Limit Hold 'em short-handed event (the same event that saw Vinnie Vinh's chair finish 22nd). The former PokerStars customer support manager found himself heads-up for the bracelet against Hoyt Corkins, the Alabama cowboy whose last name sounds like something that happens to pretty boys like us in prison. After about 20 hands, Chan got all his chips in with Ad-4d against Corkins' Kd-10s. The turn paired Corkins' king, and Chan had to settle for runner-up and a $287,345 cash. Corkins earned his second WSOP bracelet and $515,065.

Afterwards, Chan commented on his blog:

“So as you probably saw online, I finished 2nd in the tournament. Disappointed, but of course I can't be too disappointed, like, I got lucky threehanded for most of my chips. So, it's a downer, but... it's still a good thing. Really really really really wanted to win and get that bracelet and all of that, but wasn't in the cards this time. Still a few weeks left in the World Series, still enough time to get that first one this year."

This is Terrence Chan's biggest tournament cash, surpassing the $74,175 he banked for his 8th place finish in the $2500 NLHE event at last year's WSOP.

For those who don't recall, Chan was at the center of a somewhat benign-at-first-turned-ugly-incident during a Playboy charity poker event that involved Annie Duke, Shannon Elizabeth and FOWCP Steve Dannenmann. For the back story, check out Chan's blog post on the fiasco here and Up for Poker's recap here. While Duke, Elizabeth and Dannenananmemaman diplomatically settled the situation with Chan, the same can't be said for Joy Miller, a poker photog who was in charge of the event and who deserves a Wicked Chops Poker "Monkey Fucking a Football PR Award" for losing her shit on the phone with Chan after he aired his grief, saying, among other things, "Remember one thing, Terrence, you're not Johnny Chan, you're Terrence Chan."

For more on the Terrence Chan-Joy Miller crap, check the following links:

::Joy Miller's Response

:: A Response to Joy Miller

For what happens when you lose 400 pounds go here.

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Jessica Biel in GQ Makes for a Good Post

The distractingly hot Jessica Biel recently did a photo spread for GQ magazine, and we have to say, we're quite impressed. It just might be her best body of work yet, even better than the Esquire shoot that led to her being named "sexiest woman alive," except for maybe that photo of her in the sink that indirectly led to one of us incurring a $2,350 plumbing bill.

Don't ask.

Sample a few of the shots below and see all of Jessica Biel's GQ spread here. Also check out a revealing video clip from her new movie with Adam Sandler after the jump. If you're not into any of that, we recommend reading Jeffrey Pollack's blog.

Jessicabielgq2Jessicabielgq1Jessicabielgq3

Continue reading "Jessica Biel in GQ Makes for a Good Post" »

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Vinnie Vinh's Chair Finishes 22nd in the $2,500 Short-Handed Event at the 2007 WSOP

Wsopchair_2Due to prior commitments that likely involved foaming at the mouth and delusions of insects crawling on his skin, Vinnie Vinh was unable to make Day 2 of Event 30 yesterday at the 2007 WSOP.

But his chair was there in his place, starting the day with 73,800 in chips with 42 players remaining. Saddled with a tight table image and unable to really get anything going throughout the day, Vinh's chair still managed to outlast 20 other players to finish 22nd, good enough for a cash of $12,468.

This is Vinh's chair's second cash in the 2007 WSOP (it finished 20th in Event 8), establishing a new WSOP record for a chair in a non-chair-only event.

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Goodbye, Cruel World and Humanity As We Know It + Phil Hellmuth Does Not Win Bracelet #12

World, it's been nice knowing you.

Katjathaterwsop5In a development on par with Robert Varkonyi having a threesome with two Victoria's Secret super models in the "world is coming to an end" hierarchy, Katja Thater, a woman, has won a non-women-only poker tournament.

The woman Thater (at right, next to a banana), captured Event #29 ($1,500 Razz), banking $132,653.

Thater, who is a woman, defeated the highly disappointing and disgrace to men across the world Larry St. Jean for the win. Honorary member of the "Davidson Matthew Club," O'Neil Longson, finished third.

If there's anything here to temper the apocalyptic significance of Thater's win it would be that it was in a measly $1,500 buy-in event in a game where the worst hand wins.

In other equi-horrifying news, Beth Shak, a woman, almost won Event #28 ($3,000 NLH). She lost heads-up to someone who is not a disgrace to men across the world, Shankar Pillai, who's not to be confused with K. Shankar Pillai, who is dead. For the win, Pillai banks $527,829. The woman Shak takes home $328,683.

Lost in all of the apocalyptic developments is that Phil Hellmuth failed to capture bracelet #12. Hellmuth finished sixth in Event #28, banking $76,464.

After the jump a brief photo essay about a champ and her banana. Plus her right and left side profiles.

Continue reading "Goodbye, Cruel World and Humanity As We Know It + Phil Hellmuth Does Not Win Bracelet #12" »

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WSOP Update: Vinnie Vinh Missing Again, Hellmuth Ties Cloutier's Final Table Record

Yep.

The Vinh has gone missin' again, this time on Day 2 of the $2,500 No Limit Hold'em short-handed event. We don't want to speculate but we're guessing Vinh has found God, paid off all his debts, got clean and sober and is in a A.A. meeting right now saying, "My name is Vinnie Vinh!!! And I'm fucked up!!!"

We could be wrong on this though.

Meanwhile, Phil Hellmuth's ego can be easily found at the ESPN featured final table as it celebrates matching T.J. Cloutier's record 39 WSOP final tables. Hellmuth and his ego have now completed the triple crown of WSOP records with the most bracelets, most cashes and now (tied for the) most final tables.

In related news, Katharine McPhee looks good.

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Paul "Eskimo" Clark is Super Human

Eskimowsop2After collapsing in the Poker Sauna last week and being rushed to the hospital, then twice being laid out on the ground yesterday during Day 2 of the $1500 Razz event, Paul "Eskimo" Clark has managed to overcome all obstacles before him to forge ahead and make his way to a final table today in Event #29 at the 2007 WSOP.

It's been an incredible display of Dean Karnazes-like super human endurance as Eskimo fights through seizure-like symptoms with no substantive nutritional sustenance, other than an occasional banana, Bayer aspirin and cigarettes, and sits on his ass at a poker table, pushes his chips forward, with occasional assistance, and lifts the .004 of an ounce cards up an inch off the table hand after hand for many hours.

To say we're not impressed would be a lie. The man is a hero to us and surely to Eskimos both big and small everywhere.

Other players left in the Razz event include the legendary O'Neil Longson (385,500), who we think was born during the Fillmore administration, Men "The Master" Nguyen (35,000), who's here endorsing Corona Energy Drink, and Katja Thater (117,000), a more-than-marginally attractive woman who comes off as really intense and uptight and we kind of find her sexy because of this.

After the jump, more pics of Eskimo taking a break next to his table yesterday.

Continue reading "Paul "Eskimo" Clark is Super Human" »

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Vinnie Vinh is Alive and Twitching at the 2007 WSOP

VinnyvinhwsopVinnie Vinh, the all-but-dead poker player who went missing after being among the chipleaders on Day 1 of the $1000 Rebuy NLHE event, was seen yesterday playing the $2,500 short-handed NLHE event at the 2007 WSOP. Looking like a Vietnamese meth-jacked Shane MacGowan on a very, very bad day but with better teeth, Vinh has managed to outlast more than 800 players to make it into Day 2 with 73,800 in chips. Hoyt Corkin, at 270,800, is the chip leader with 42 players left. Other big names still in include Steve Wong (233,300), Mimi Tran (121,500), Erick Lindgren (101,400), Terrence "You're Not Johnny" Chan (80,100) and Erik Seidel (43,900).

We didn't get to see much of Vinnie Vinh playing yesterday until the end of the day but we heard he was in top form. PokerListings.com's Martin Derbyshire reported the following about Vinh after officials told him to remove his iPod when play was down to 15 tables:

Vinh spent the entire night arguing with the dealers, WSOP staff and other players around him every chance he had about anything he could think of at the time. Players from other tables even got up to ask him to shut up, but nothing worked. Many felt the best decision might be to give Vinh an exception to the no electronic devices under 15 tables rule and give him his iPod back. At one point he picked up a hand and was screaming "Shoot it up," grabbing his arm, making a needle like motion and pumping chips into the pot.

When we saw Vinh, he looked pathetically frail, about Nicole Richie size at her thinnest. And while nothing that remarkable happened as he sat in his seat shaking his leg 100 miles an hour and occasionally twitching, he did seem irritable and restless at times, occasionally getting up and walking around the table nervously.

While we don't want to suggest that Vinnie Vinh is a meth head we will say that the symptoms for a meth head include increased alertness, paranoia, decreased appetite, increased physical activity, writhing jerky, irritability, aggression, anger, panic, paranoia, and repetitive behavior patterns.

And this pretty much sums up what Vinh was displaying yesterday.

So yeh, he probably is a meth head.

UPDATE: And he likely smokes it . . . based on what he told Gutshot.com late last night (Go here and scroll down to just above the photo of Vinh with Stu Ungar in the background).

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Phil Hellmuth: A (Long) Shot At Winning 12th WSOP Bracelet Today

Last night while our super-sized egos partied it up at Jet and took turns behind the curtain sniffing the gak off a couple of former pageant girls' backsides, Phil Hellmuth's gargantuan-sized ego stopped by to inform us that the 11-time bracelet winner had made his 39th final table, sort of, and is in position to capture his 12th bracelet, sort of.

Philhellmuthbethshak_2The reality is that although Hellmuth and his ego will be seated at the ESPN-televised table today, they are still one player away from an official final table of nine players. Turns out that when play had gotten down to 10 last night, officials stopped the event to ensure that Hellmuth, whose stack was dwindling down to about 13 times the big blind, would be there in front of the ESPN cameras on the final day.

"This is because they want me on TV," said Hellmuth, reported PokerListings.com.

Yes, this isn't a poker tournament folks. It's good TV and Hellmuth, his ego and antics boost TV ratings, which in turn helps boost his ego and antics, which in turn boost . . . well, you get the point.

Hellmuth has his work cut out for him today though if he is to complete his WSOP records trifecta of most bracelets (he owns with 11), most cashes (his with 60) and most final tables (he hopes to tie TJ Cloutier today with 39). Stacked at 213,000 in chips, Hellmuth sits down barely in 9th position (10th place, Daniel Corbin, has 210,000) and blinds are running big at 8,000/16,000 with 3,000 antes. Arguably the most skillful tournament hold'em player in poker history, Hellmuth must now first rely on luck to lift him up from his chip deficit to reach numbers 39 and 12. If karma exists as some sort of measure against self-pride (and we personally hope it doesn't), expect to see Hellmuth flame out early today when his blig blind is attacked and he has a hand, likely the best.

With the chip lead going into today is last year's Main Event 19th place finisher, Dustin Holmes, who's stacked at 1,076,000. Beth Shak, a woman (seen to Phil's right in pic), is stacked in 2nd place with 740,000, and Tiltboy Perry Friedman is 4th with 723,000.

Stay tuned here for updates on Phil Hellmuth's quest for a 39th final table appearance and 12th WSOP bracelet as well as links to some wonderfully hot girl named Sarita Stella.

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Paul "Eskimo" Clark is Unhealthy

Pauleskimoclark_2As we were walking out of the Amazon Room about an hour ago, some hotel security flunkies rushed passed us towards the Razz tables. Apparently a medical situation had arisen which we gave 3-5 odds it had to do with Paul "Eskimo" Clark.

Indeed it did.

The 60-year-old Louisiana native who just days ago collapsed in the Poker Sauna (the Tent outside the Rio), had made it to Day 2 of Event #29 and was seated at his table looking confused, his head slumped forward, his hands and arms appearing to convulse, albeit mildy, and players at his table, including Mickey Appleman, trying to get his attention. One by one, more security guards came rushing up to Eskimo's table, all looking confused themselves, as the Tournament Director called for an impromptu 15 minute break to clear the area.

As Eskimo continued to stare aimlessly, looking like he was having petit mal seizures, we told the Harrah's rep on the floor to call for a doctor or paramedics, and he claimed the security guards were all EMTs and were handling the situation. Sure they were, if five security guys standing around looking clueless as one tries to get Eskimo to stand, then lay on the floor, then get back into his seat while administering him water--something a real doctor nearby said wasn't a good thing to do--constitutes handling the situation. To us, it looked like five hotel security guards doing more harm than good and who we wouldn't want treating us for a stubbed toe, let alone something more serious.

Back in his chair, Eskimo argued that he was OK to continue, which Harrah's obliged. Appleman thought outherwise, complaining to the Harrah's reps on the floor that the security guards there were "self-righteous" and that real doctors should be called in. Appleman also said that they shouldn't listen to Eskimo as he'd continue to play even if he was minutes from dying, which he may be, and if not minutes, perhaps days, weeks or maybe a month at best. The man looks like total crap, even when he isn't convulsing, and Harrah's has to realize that there is some serious liability brewing, should the worst happen. Regardless, Eskimo is still seated and among the final 48 left in the tournament.

In related news, Kenny Crumpton of Fox 8 News plays the skin flute.

UPDATE: It just happened again. Same exact thing but a bit worse. The right side of his body stopped functioning more or less and players at the table had to help him muck his cards and stack his chips, which are many right now as he looks to be at or near the top of the chip count with 40 or so players left in the tournament. This time the Clark County paramedics were called in and checked his blood pressure (170 over 100). They also asked him what was the last thing he ate. "A banana," he said. "And a Bayer aspirin." All players are on dinner break now, and from all reports, Eskimo plans to come back to play.

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2007 WSOP Update: While We Were Out Over the Weekend

We'd be lying if we said we were anywhere near the Rio this past weekend. Actually we'd be lying if we said we remember where we were this weekend or how we ended up in the back of a Coupe de Ville off Hwy 376 outside Carvers, Nevada, or let alone, what happened to our kidneys. But nonetheless we're back in Las Vegas today and to get you, and us, back to speed, below are some quick updates on what's happened with some links to jump to.

Joannakruparalph:: Kid Who Looks 12 Wins $5,000 NLHE Event - James Mackey, who looks exactly like Opie Taylor and could pass as Burt Boutin's great, great, great grandson, won event #22, the $5,000 No Limit Hold'em event. The no-way-he's-old-enough-to-drink-let-alone-drive 21-year-old banked $730,740 and a WSOP bracelet for the win. Word has it that after his win Mackey headed to Chuck E. Cheese and got drunk on Shirley Temples with Jasper T. Jowls and the rest of the gang in Munch's Make Believe Band to celebrate. ThePokerBiz.com.

:: Elezra Takes Nguyen in Drunken Stud Fest - Everyone knows that seven card stud hi-lo is a drunk man's game and so it's no suprprise that Event #24, the $3,000 7CS Hi-Lo event, came down to a beer-soused bettor's brawl between high stakes card tosser Eli Elezra and the mullet prince of poker Scotty Nguyen. Elezra, who by all accounts got the drunkest, ended up winning the event to take home his first WSOP bracelet. - Bodog Beat

:: From Bust to Win, D-Dub Rolls to Victory in $5K Bellagio Event - David Williams busted out of a WSOP event last Thursday faster than a Bangkok hooker hooked on Adderall, then rolled on over to the Bellago in his new Bentley Coupe to play their $5,000 event. A day later the WSOP bracelet winner beat out a final table that included Roland de Wolfe, David Dicken and John Gale for the first place prize of $130,000 and $25K seat to the next WPT Championship. - PokerListings.com

:: Scott Clement Stares Down Victory in $1500 PLO Event - Scott Clements is scary, stare-y good at poker, dominating the final table in the $1500 PLO event at the 2007 WSOP just like he did last year when he won his first WSOP bracelet in Omaha Hi/Lo and his first WPT title at the Canadian Open Championship. The 25-year-old, who could kill you with a cold hard stare, or at least creep you out, walked with $194,206 for the win. It was Clements second final table and third cash at this year's WSOP. - PokerNews.com

Joannakruparalph1:: Ralph Schwartz Runaways With Win In $5,000 HORSE Event - High-stakes poker player Ralph Schwartz bested a final table that included Phil Ivey, Robert Mizrachi and Bill Gazes to take down the $5,000 HORSE event at the 2007 WSOP. The 28-year-old, who shunned requests for interviews after the win in favor of a smoke, cashed $275,683 alongside his first WSOP bracelet. - PokerNews.com

:: Nice Guy Ben Ponzio Wins Event #25, the $2,000 No-Limit Hold'em Event - Not much else to say besides Ben Ponzio, a really nice guy, won event #25, the $2,000 No Limit Hold'em Event at the 2007 WSOP. He won $599,467 in addition to the gold bracelet. - CardPlayer.com

:: Phil Hellmuth's Ego Celebrates Record 60th Cash, Seeks 12th Bracelet - Phil Hellmuth, who's ego is on loan from God, is near the top of the chip count on Day 2 of the $3,000 No Limit Hold'em Event and has secured his 60th WSOP cash. Hellmuth is also 100% guaranteed to win his 12th bracelet, that is unless luck gets involved. - PokerNews.com

Photos of Joanna Krupa in the latest issue of RALPH because unlike all of the above players, she is Joanna Krupa.

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    Our photog at the 2008 WSOP is having a hard time focusing his lens on the pros at the table. We like him for that. Check out girls on the rail here.

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