LAPT Rio Final Table Not So Hot, Very Much Unlike Brazilian Model Fabiana Tambosi

The Latin American Poker Tour's debut event in Rio de Janiero, Brazil has reached its final table after two full days of play at Intercontinental Hotel, located just off the beach where the hiked-up-the-culo bikini bottom was born and where it's apparently cool for pervs with video cameras to film young girls wearing next to nothing while making creepy humming noises.

The $2,500 buy-in event has a not-so-impressive $785,000 prize pool and drew 314 players, almost half of who came from the home country of Brazil, with US Americans making up the second largest contingent and Argentinians third.

Despite the decent turnout of Brazilians, disappointingly only one has made the final table, Eduardo Henrique, and we're gonna go out on a limb and say Eduardo is really annoying, like probably on the same level as Humberto Brenes annoying, who's brother Alex by the way is also at the final table. Perhaps we're wrong about him (likely not) but it's just that every photo we've seen of this cacafuego he's got that Mattias Andersson thing going on acting like he just scored the winning goal in a World Cup final. Painful. Hey Maridu, please smack him the next time he does that.

Leading the final table today is Holland's Julien Nuijten with 970,000 in chips. That's pretty much all we got on him. Second in chips is the sole "US American" Vitaly Kovyazin (380,000), who we haven't read any bio info on but can confidently say he's a Russian cab driver who lives in Brooklyn and has some ties to the Red mafia, fought against the mujahideen in Afghanistan in the 80s and bought his wife in Kiev for about 4000 rubles, some denims and a couple of cartons of Marlboros. We're also gonna guess he knows Glum Girl Gromenkova.

Rounding out the final table and gunning for the first place prize of $222,940 are two Germans (somehow), a Swiss player, a Colombian and a Venezuelan.

Follow the action today in Portuguese here.

Photos above and below of stereotypically stunning Brazilian model Fabiana Tambosi, who like pretty much everyone at the LAPT final table we had no idea existed until today.