You're Probably Going to Want to Do the Opposite of What's In This Book

Just saying.

The John McCain Gambling Fall-Out Link Dump

The way he's polling right now and with the economy in the absolute shitter and with the back-firing pick of Sarah Palin as a running mate (after dropping Cookier), this all might not matter, but The New York Times ran an article yesterday that detailed John McCain's close ties to gambling lobbyists.

And the fall-out so far isn't good.

Not sure what McCain did that was so bad (he was one of the first to take on Jack Abramoff, remember), but the article has caused some blow-back for his campaign. While we have no doubt that McCain would be bad for the potential online poker carve-out passed by Barney Frank and friends, given the current economic state, it might be a few years before McCain even gets around to that bill, and by then he'd be too old to remember what the Internet is anyway.

Some links:

• If you haven't yet, read the full NYT article. [link]
• Barack Obama talks about his poker game (frequented by lobbyists). [link]
• New DNC ad rips McCain's gambling ties [link]
• McCain's campaign team is very tied to gambling lobbyists. [link]
• Will McCain's gambling alienate the Christian Right (who cares)? [link]
• 40 gaming lobbyists is a lot of lobbyists now that we think about it. [link]

Full Tilt Poker Pros Seem to Be Doing Well In WSOPE Main Event

Andy Bloch is focusing on his first major title.

Does FTP have some massive WSOPE Main Event bracelet clause we're not aware of? Or are they just out on a mission to takeover what many are calling, with their ubiquitous presence, the World Series of Betfair.

At the end of Day 3, the top 4 stacks belong to Full Tilt pros. In order: Andy Bloch (321,600), Brian Townsend (290,100), Erik Seidel (282,300), John Juanda (252,500).

Also in the top 20 are Brandon Adams (190,000), Mike Matusow (180,300), and Scott Fischman (152,800).

In all, 62 of the starting 362 remain. Other big named big stacks include Justin "BoostedJ" Smith (217,700), Daniel Negreanu (203,700), and that guy who played the aging singer in Love, Actually, Devilfish Ulliott, with 133,000.

Get full chip counts here.

It Was Russ Hamilton

Liar. Cheater. Stealer. Russ Hamilton.

No real shocker here, but Russ Hamilton was named by the Catania Gaming Consultants (the investigative firm hired by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission) as the man behind the UltimateBet super-user cheating scandal.

UB robbed players of over $60M $6.1M during a period of three-and-a-half years.

Hamilton was named as the main figure behind the scam. Hamilton gained super-user access as a member of UB's affiliate program team. Hamilton is a true piece of shit.

Read more here.

* Photo from Poker News.

Daniel Negreanu Leads WSOPE Main Event Day 1B

Day 1B of the WSOPE Main Event ended with one of poker's biggest names as the chip leader.

Daniel Negreanu ended the day stacked at 154,050. Jamie Rosen trailed him in second with 139,225.

Some other big named big stacks include Marco Traniello (96,750), Yuval Bronshtein (85,675), Roland de Wolfe (84,000), Brian Townsend (71,950), Nenad Medic (67,650), and Jennifer Tilly, a woman ( 64,975).

Day 2 is currently underway with November Nine^TM hostage Scott Montgomery an early mover, chipping up to 131,500.

Get live updates here.

Erica Schoenberg Is a Pitbull With Lipstick

Erica Schoenberg somehow managed to get hotter and did it without surgery.

See, if there's one thing we're a sucker for in a girl it's big boobs morally casual attitude being a cougar swallowing smarts being a mute a good healthy smart-ass attitude. Schoenberg showed us she was capable of it with her fashion tips article. And now she scores some hits in her latest blog.

The basic gist is Erica caught some over-the-top slandering of her fiance David Benyamine in his Rail Heaven table on Full Tilt Poker.

The dude taking shots at Mr. B (as she calls him) she says was "Pyrinnaid." Schoenberg comes out swinging, calling Pyrinnaid the "typical NL ass-clown" (i.e. doesn't play any other games) and that he probably:

"...started playing [poker] in high school or college, probably after discovering poker through his Magic the Gathering friends."

She goes on to say how young, arrogant kids like him make a big splash, talk shit, then go broke (often to guys like Benyamine).

Read the full post here. She unnecessarily posted another blog today making sure everyone knew she wasn't talking about all young online players. No need for that. Take your pwning and walk away. But regardless, read that here.

UPDATES: Poker Listings has a good follow-up on David Benyamine and Jay "pr1nnyraid" Rosenkrantz here. And thanks to reader Jim for the link to pr1nnyraid's blog here.

Only 159 People Show Up For Day 1A of WSOPE Main Event

If a few thousand Euros can show up for the U.S. American World Series of Poker Main Event, how the hell do only 159 people register for Day 1A of the WSOPE championship? Did Germany invade Poland again? Is there a call to arms we're not aware of? Where is everyone?

Of those who did show, plenty of big names are among early big stacks. Justin "BoostedJ" Smith ended Day 1A as chip leader, stacked at 150,000. On his "march to second"^TM overall, Andy Bloch is third overall at 90,175. November Nine^TM hostage Scott Montgomery (80,000), Andy Black (78,000), Brandon Adams (72,000), and Mike Matusow (71,550) are also among early leaders.

Not among those with chips is Phil Ivey, which is not good news for Phil Ivey. As you may remember, Ivey, who likes to gamble, had some bracelet prop bets that's reportedly going to cost him at least $700k-ish. What is good news for Ivey is he cleared $500k on FTP recently, so as long as he didn't bet on the Georgia Bulldogs for the first half line of tonight's game he should be OK. Way to get your team prepared, Mark Richt.

Get full chip counts here.

Top 5 Worst Poker Movies Ever

Lucky You, unless you actually had to watch this movie. But is it the worst poker movie ever?

We wanted to do a "Five Best Poker Movies Ever" post but we could only think of one that would qualify.

So instead we decided to go with an official "Five Worst Poker Movies Ever" list.

Because it's election season though, we thought we'd open it up to debate. Go to our forum here and post your vote.

Also because it's election season we'll also probably just hijack the vote and post whoever we want to win.

Regardless, exercise your right to vote here!

She Should Work for UltimateBet

In case anyone has forgotten, UltimateBet and Absolute Poker robbed people of their money and may bring down the entire online poker industry because of it.

We were thinking to our collective selves, "UB really, REALLY needs someone capable of working with regulators in finally getting down to the bottom of all instances of super-user fraud. This person needs to fit their culture of know-nothingness."

Think we found the perfect candidate.*

Editor's Note: Consider this "equal opportunity ragging for those who think we go over the top on the Obama-Muslim jokes.

Sorel Mizzi Just Misses WSOPE Bracelet

This Event #3 final table write-up would've been more interesting if either of these two lovely Brits, Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh, had made an appearance. So we're forcing the issue. View more of their photo shoot here.

It was a pretty star-studded final table for WSOPE Event #3 (£2,500 H.O.R.S.E.).

Couple early surprises as Jason Mercier, who had been dominate throughout the tournament and entered the final table second in chips, bowed out in eigth, banking £26,812.

Chris "Jesus" Ferguson seemed zoned in too but went out in seventh (£33,000).

Eventually play came down to Sorel Mizzi and Theo Jorgensen. Jorgensen started as final table chip leader...and...dare we say...ended it that way too?

Jorgensen banked £218,626 for the win. It was another solid showing for online whiz Mizzi, who is approaching $1M in career live tourney earnings now.

Get full payouts here.

Mizzi, Ferguson, Pescatori Take Aim For WSOPE Event #3 Title

Some big names final tabled WSOPE Event #3 (£5,000 Pot Limit Omaha).

Among the remaining nine include Sorel Mizzi (290,000), Chris "Jesus" Ferguson (282,000), 2006 Main Event final table-ist Erik Friberg (189,000), and the unfortunately nicknamed "Italian Pirate" Max Pescatori (126,000).

They all trail chip leader Theo Jorgensen (897,000). Jason Mercier, who has been around the chip lead all tourney, is second overall with 650,000.

Couple other dudes fill out the rest.

Get full recaps here.

Super Bowl of Poker Not a Terrible Idea

While a Super Bowl of Poker isn't a terrible idea, even a less terrible idea is a Marisa Miller bikini calendar. Miller may be the hottest U.S. American model out there today. View the calendar here. Watch video of her in a bikini here.

Despite whatever issues we reported that he's having with ESPN.com, poker player Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons is back writing again. For his latest ESPN the Mag column, he does a take on the "New Rules" segment from Real Time With Bill Maher. In it, a poker idea worth merit:

We need a Super Bowl of Poker. I like what happened with the World Series of Poker. The more the merrier, I say. But I was watching one of this year's episodes, and Norm Chad casually mentioned that Phil Hellmuth defeated a 178-man field to win the 1989 title. This year, Hellmuth was playing against a field that was roughly the size of Sacramento. Can't they create an elite tournament that's even bigger in stature than the WSOP or the HORSE tourney? Maybe $100,000 per entry, only 250 pros invited—the cream of the crop—with the winner getting 15 mil and a cool trophy that looks like the Wimbledon tray crossed with a giant ace of spades? Isn't that better than a tournament that's inevitably won by a no-name with a goatee who managed a hardware store three years ago? You'd watch the Super Bowl of Poker. Don't deny it.

There are plenty of flaws in this idea. First, there's no way you could get 250 people to pony up $100,000 a piece. Especially considering that guys who could stake multiple players like Phil Ivey and others who like to gamble and may not have the cash on hand when the tourney is ready to kick off. Second, just because you invite an "elite" player doesn't mean he's going to want to put up the $100,000. Third, some players that have the cash may not see it as a good investment. Jerry Yang may really, really love God but even he's gotta know that God can't love him back THAT much.

However, you could probably get 250 people to pony up $50,000 (150 already do for the H.O.R.S.E. event, an event that many top hold'em specialists don't play) with perhaps the online sites or other sponsors picking up the rest of the tab. Shit, hold it in Europe so you could get Betfair, Party, and Ladbrokes Internet money infused into it. Whatever it takes.

Make it a three-day event and handle it like like ESPN is doing The November Nine^TM where you're only on a day or two tape delay.

At this stage, poker on TV could use a shot in the arm that only somebody you've actually heard of before winning $15M could provide.

Read the full column here.

Phil Ivey Does Not Win WSOPE Event #2

Looks like Phil Ivey, who likes to gamble, has one last chance to win his WSOP bracelet prop bets.

Ivey was up and down all day at the Event #2 (£2,500 H.O.R.S.E.) final table. He eventually bowed out in sixth place, banking £13,750.

Looked like Howard Lederer would cruise to victory as he held the chip lead for awhile, but he was knocked out in third overall, adding £30,250 to his already ridiculous bankroll.

The final two ended up very "friends and family" considering the big names that final tabled, with Sherkhan Farnood winning the bracelet (£76,999) and Ivo Donev taking second (£48,125).

In related news, 100 signed up for Event #3 (£5,000 Pot Limit Omaha), and 45 survived to Day 2. Jason Mercier is the overnight chip leader stacked at 209,800. He's followed by Shaun Deeb (190,700). Plenty of big names remain, including Neil Channing (128,000), David Williams (122,400), Phil Laak (111,400), Andy Bloch (109,200), Sorel Mizzi (105,000), and Alex Kravchenko (104,100).

Get full chip counts here.

Lacey Jones, Christina Lindley Bluff Magazine Cover Shoot Preview

Kicks the shit out of seeing Scotty Nguyen's mug on another cover, doesn't it?

Poker hottie Christina Lindley just posted some preview pics on her blog from the latest Bluff Magazine cover shoot. Joining her is the hottest girl in poker, Lacey Jones. Joining them is little more than underwear and high heels. Hot damn.

At a minimum, this ranks approximately 100000000000000000000000000000% better than Eli Elezra, Jerry Yang, or anyone other than a shirtless Patrik Antonius on the cover.

Says Lindley:

"Anyways, two days ago something even more amazing happened. I shot for the cover of BLUFF MAGAZINE. They shot me along with my really good friend poker hottie Lacey Jones for the November issue of 2008 cover. Why? Well, they liked the fact that I was such a relative newcomer and had thrown myself in full force. They said they liked my drive, my passion, and my showing so far as an up and coming poker pro."

She goes on to say other stuff but we got distracted by her and Lacey in their underwear and high heels. She could've said she was responsible for 9/11 and we wouldn't have noticed.

We'll have video footage of the shoot up for a webisode of The TOKE around the time the issue drops.

In related news, check out their YouTube channel here.

Phil Ivey Still Drawing Live for His WSOP Bracelet Prop Bet

Phil Ivey has more on the line than his £2,500 entry fee in WSOPE Event #2.

Phil Ivey, who likes to gamble, made some big prop bets this year with a number of players (Daniel Negreanu for around $200k, Eli Elezra for around $500k) this year. He came up short at the 2008 World Series of Poker. After the WSOP wrapped, he allegedly told everyone that WSOPE bracelets were part of the bet. Fair enough.

Things are still looking good for Ivey in Event #2 (£2,500 H.O.R.S.E.) of the WSOPE. Yesterday he was chip leader for a good part of the day. Play stopped with 11 remaining, and Ivey was mid-stacked. Only 10 remaining now, and he's fourth overall with around 114,000.

The current top three big stacks are Howard Lederer (208,500), Yuval Bronshtein (133,500), and Jeffrey Lisandro (125,000).

In related news, Phil Hellmuth busted in 12th.

Get full chip counts here.

UIGEA Update: Poker Carve-Out A Possibility?

We're a week late getting to this but definitely worth writing noting that some traction is being made for an online poker carve-out from the UIGEA.

The House Financial Services Committee approved a change to Rep. Barney Frank's (D-Mass) bill by a 30-19 vote that would clarify for banks what types of payments they can accept from processors. While sports wagering would still be illegal, online poker may get that carve-out the PPA has been fighting for over the past two years since we got Frist'd.

Said Rep. Frank:

"I would like to not tell adults that they can't put a bet down...But under this bill ... at least the banks will know what is and what isn't illegal. We're asking Treasury to give them a list."

More surprisingly is some hard-core one-time detractors seem to be coming around. One of those is Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-AL), who said:

"A lot of people out there that play poker on the Internet - they may lose their money but they're adults - and they went to their members of Congress."

Read the full article here and get a good editorial take here.

The FUPA

All right, we got some feedback on Benjo's Girl on the Rail pic from yesterday, and it made us think of the below video. Take a quick break from the tourney action so you all can appreciate the FUPA (audio NSFW).

It's the fat upper...well...just watch it.

Jesper Hougaard Wins WSOP, WSOPE Bracelet in Same Year

Like Keeley Hazell going topless or Shannon Elizabeth changing online poker sites, it looked like a foregone conclusion that U.S. American Adam Junglen was going to capture WSOPE Event #1 (£1,500 No Limit Hold'em).

At the start of final table play, Junglen, who held the chip lead at all stages of the tourney, had over 700,000 more to his stack then Danish poker pro Jesper Hougaard, who was one of the short-stacks (eight overall).

Junglen flamed out quick though, exiting in sixth place as Hougaard, who won WSOP Event #36 this year, kept climbing.

Chipping up along with Hougaard was Fuad Serhan, who started final table play as the short-stack. While everyone else fell off, including Linda Lee, a woman, who finished seventh, Hougaard and Serhan improbably ended up playing for the title.

Heads-up play lasted all of five hands, with Hougaard taking it down and banking £144,218 for the win.

In related WSOPE news, screw Event #1 as some of poker's biggest names are among the chip leaders for Event #2 (£2,500 H.O.R.S.E.). Phil Ivey is chip leader at the end of Day 1 stacked at 59,200. He's followed by Phil Hellmuth (54,200) and WCP fave Woody Deck (37,500). Only 56 remain from the starting 110, with other big stacks including but not limited to Yuval Bronshtein (31,900), Joe Beevers (31,300), Isaac Haxton (30,800), Gus Hansen (30,600), Daniel Negreanu (30,200), and Howard Lederer (29,500).

2008 WSOPE Event #1 Final Table Set

(Left to Right) Linda Lee, Neil Channing and Adam Junglen advanced to the WSOP Europe Event #1 final table.

Before we get too deep into this post, quick observation: Vegas railbirds > UK railbirds.

Ok, the big news from WSOPE Event #1 is that Linda Lee, a woman, has advanced to the final table. Lee looks like a mix between J. Lo and a half-Asian. Not a bad mix. View her photo on the WCP forum here. Half-Asian J. Lo brings one of the short-stacks (121,000) to the final table.

Leading the way as he has the first two days is Adam Junglen with 795,000. Junglen seems to either be on a mission or getting a 2002 WSOP Varkonyi-esque good run of cards. Following Junglen is John Dwyer with 511,000.

The remaining stacks are: Yevgeniy Timoshenko (345,000), Daniel Nutt (207,000), Neil Channing (199,000), Ian Woodley (153,000), the aforementioned Half-Asian J. Lo (121,000), Jesper Hougaard (89,000), and Fuad Serhan (61,000).

* Big thanks to Benjo for the pics. Benjo is French btw for "only French guy we like." Be sure to read his blog here.

2008 WSOPE Event#1 - Daniel Negreanu Holding Strong

British model Keeley Hazell (seen above in one of few non-topless moments) has been surprisingly absent from the WSOPE...thus far.

The consolidated Day 2 is underway for the 2008 WSOPE Event #1 (£1,500 No Limit Hold'em).

Day 1B chip leader Adam Junglen retains the overall big stack with 140,000. Daniel Negreanu is third overall with 108,000.

Other big names still alive include Andy Bloch (44,000), Juan Juanda (42,000), Neil Channing (24,000), Erik Seidel (19,000), and Surinder (French?) Sunar (16,000).

Get live updates throughout the day here.

Daniel Negreanu Leads WSOPE Event #1 Day 1A

This first WSOPE event of 2008 is shaping up to be a good one.

Daniel Negreanu ended Day 1A of WSOPE Event #1 (£1,500 No Limit Hold'em) as the chip leader, stacked at 74,900. He's followed by Jason Gray with 72,800. Brandon Cantu is not far behind with 54,200. Among the other 42 who survived to Day 2 include John Juanda (27,000), Surinder (French?) Sunar (14,200), and Erik Seidel (7,000).

Day 1B has started and lots of big names are among the early chip leaders. The awesomely named Azzy Asghar is current chip leader with 15,000. He's followed by Howard Stern's love-child Isaac Haxton (14,975), Jean-Robert Bellande (14,100), Allen Cunningham (12,600), and the absolutely positively must be Britishly named Simon Higgins (12,500).

Get full chip counts here and live reporting here.

Bodog Doesn't Think a Woman Will Repeat as WSOPE Champ + The WSOPE Has Started

Bodog doesn't think Joanna Krupa (or any other woman) will make the WSOPE final table...or as we like to call them, the September Nine^TM.

Bodog has put odds on whether or not one or more women will make the WSOP Europe Main Event final table (again) this year.

We think their odds are very, very generous.

Currently, "No" is listed at -750 (Yes at +450). We see "No" going to -eleventybillion after every person who bets on sports takes "No." Come on. Can't you only catch lightning in a bottle once? Then again, it's not like the U.S. American version of the WSOP, and with a field of likely 350-400, the odds are a little better in woman's favor.

A little.

In related news, the WSOPE is underway with Event #1 (£1,500 No Limit Hold'em) today. Only 191 signed up. Bellagio gets more than that on a Friday night. Anyway, Daniel Negreanu is currently among the chip leaders, stacked second overall at dinner break. Brandon Cantu continues his good run and is among the big stacks as well.

Get full chip counts here and live reporting here.

Guy Whose Name Was Butchered Throughout School Gets Last Laugh

First day of school.

Adams. Adamson. Andrews. Baker. Bueller. Bueller. Carson. Davidson. Franklin. Gonzalez. Harrison. May. Morris. Mancini. Norris. Oswald. Palin. Penis. Perry. Rak--Rajki--Rakoon--Rakumar---

"It's Rajkumar. Vivek Rajkumar," is what Vivek Rajkumar said.

And so was the life of Vivek Rajkumar.

Until today. Because "I'm rich bitch! Vivek Rajkumar is rich!" is what Vivek Rajkumar is saying right now.

Vivek apparently opened a fortune cookie (video below) that sort of predicted he'd win the WPT Borgata Poker Open earlier today. And he did. Whatever. Take that for what it's worth. We've opened a thousand fortune cookies in our time and we still don't see beauty in ordinary things, our everlasting patience has not been rewarded, and that thing we lost has not turned up yet.

Get full payouts here.

Ultimate Bet Software Firm Slapped with $75M Lawsuit; Nobody Knows Who Really "Owns" UB

Ultimate Bet is going to need an army of lawyers to get itself out of this mess.

MSNBC just published an exclusive story on the $85 million dollar lawsuit just smacked down on UltimateBet.

The $75M claim was filed by Blast-Off Ltd. of Malta, "a private company that currently has an ownership interest" in UB, against Excapsa Software Inc. of Toronto, "which formerly owned and licensed the poker software to UltimateBet."

The total sum of the suit doesn't actually represent the money that UB stole from its players, so its likely for the ambigious "damages." Not joining the suit are all of the legit online poker sites who UB put at risk because they are greedy assholes that could bascially sink the industry as a hole for an extra few mil even though they were already making money hand-over-fist.

The article goes on to detail how UB's players, not Tokwiro Enterprises (current owner) or the Kahnawake Gaming Commission (regulatory arm), started to note highly suspicious play by the NioNio account. You know the rest of that story.

It continues on how Tokwiro passed the buck to the previous ownership group, which MSNBC blasts by saying that "blaming employees of a prior owner, Tokwiro might have resolved the mystery had UltimateBet not been the rubber ball in an international shell game."

"But it is unclear to whom —and even whether — the software business was sold." - continue reading after the jump

WPT Borgata Poker Classic: Seif, Ginger Among Final Tableists

The WPT Borgata Poker Open just wrapped Day 4, playing down to its TV final table.

Vivek Rajkumar will take the chip lead to the final table, stacked at 6,480,000.

Mark Seif continued his strong play of late, chipping up to second overall with 4,665,000. He's followed by Dan Heimiller, a ginger, with 3,360,000.

Tourney cashing machine Michael Binger was eliminated in 10th place. Watch him below hit the rail.

Get full final table chip counts here.

Jennifer Tilly Turns 50--50.

50 years old? Really? 50?

The Entities who comprise Wicked Chops Poker are all about the cougars.

So we'd be remiss not to mention that Jennifer Tilly, a woman, turned a cougarific 50 yesterday. Read more (slightly more) about this half-century milestone here.

Whatever she's drinking, please bottle it up for our current/first wives. So whoever they're married to at 50 will be stoked that they look that hot.

In related cougar news, Michele Lewis has a video up of The Charles Barkely Show SNL skit (held ficticiously at the Wynn) with Michael Phelps where they discuss poker here.

Other Related News:
Phil Laak on dating a cougar
Charles Barkely drunk with Jean-Robert Bellande in Las Vegas
Charles Barkley on his Wynn debt and why the media are jackasses
Michael Phelps holds record for most all-time gold medals by a poker player

No One Knows The November Nine(TM) Hostages

Ok, maybe the pros themselves don't follow poker as closely as we all do.

Pro Poker Players Talk About Their Picks for the November Nine

Orange Alert: Dan Heimiller, Steve Dannenmann Among WPT Borgata Poker Open Leaders

This can't be good.

Uh oh.

It appears as if someone has woken them up from their post-WSOP slumber.

If the 2008 WSOP hadn't been The Year of the Pro^TM, it very well could've been The Year of the Ginger^TM.

They were everywhere...multiplying faster than Gremlins jumping into a swimming pool.

During the last few days of the Main Event, there were almost more gingers playing than non-gingers. It was out of control.

We admit, we were feeling safe lately. Let our guards down. We even lowered our Threat Assessment from "Orange" to "Blonde" or "Brunnette" even.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, they've crept up again, and threaten to suck the soul out of all those remaining in the WPT Borgata Poker Open.

With just 27 remaining, Dan Heimiller, a ginger, is the chip leader stacked at 2,870,000 (view Heimiller's Ginger of the Day profile here). Among the 27 left is also Steve Dannenmann, a ginger, with 627,000.

Lots of big names still remain though to halt this orange threat, including Vivek Rajkumar (1,756,000), Thayer Rasmussen (1,413,000), Nick Frangos (1,140,000), Mark Seif (1,087,000), Michael Binger (718,000), Ted Forrest (607,000), Nam Le (235,000), and Chris Bell (165,000).

Brandon Cantu was knocked out in 32nd ($21,000) and Tiffany Michelle cashed in with a 46th place finish ($15,000).

Get full chip counts here.

Hoyt Corkins on Robbery, Sarah Palin Being a MILF

For some reason, nobody wants to give a straight answer on the, "Who you voting for for President?" question.

No celebs. No MMA fighters. No poker players (except for Daniel Negreanu).

We kind of sort of got the run-around in the lastest webisode of The TOKE from some of the people on hand at the Hard Rock Poker Lounge grand opening party, although it sounded like Hoyt Corkins (after talking about his robbery) wants to bang Sarah Palin senseless (can't blame him).

You'd think everyone would be solidly behind Barack "Bam" Obama if for no other reason than there's at least a .012% chance that poker is carved-out of the UIGEA if he's elected (hell, his VP's son was lobbying for it).

Then again, that's a rather large trade-off for having to pray towards Mecca five times a day.

Which is what would happen. If he. Was elected. Cause. He's. Muslim.*

Watch Hard Rock Poker Lounge Grand Opening: Players Talk About Their Picks for the Next President

* Barack Hussein Obama...he's Muslim right? Right? Gotta be. Right? Bueller? Bueller?

Michael Binger Denies Thayer Rasmussen the Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day, Year Supply of Delicious Almonds

Only 68 players remain after Day 2 of the WPT Borgata Poker Open.

Leading the way is Thayer Rasmussen, stacked at 904,500. He's followed by Ryan Young with 837,700.

"Some" might be thinking to themselves right now, "Damn, Thayer totally kicked ass today. Dare I say that his play was even...bold? He should probably get a year's supply of almonds for himself for that kind of effort." While "some" might say that, "others" apparently don't agree.

Instead, poker tourney cashing machine Michael Binger, one of the few people on the circuit who definitely can afford something like a year's supply of delicious almonds, won the Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day. Binger ended the day stacked at 521,800, and claims (in the below vid) that winning this year's supply of delicious almonds was his life-long goal. Doesn't make life any easier for Thayer Rasmussen though. According to sources, upon hearing that he didn't win the Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day, Rasmussen said*, "Who do I have to blow around here to win the Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day? I want some delicious almonds! They're delicious!"**

Other notable big stacks include Dan Heimiller, a ginger (509,900), Jonathan Little (453,500), Ted Forrest (380,600), Brandon Cantu (377,000), Mark Seif (373,800), Nick Schulman (282,000), Tiffany Michelle (265,400), Robert Mizrachi (262,500), Delicious Almonds (258,000) Steve Dannenmann (250,600), and Joe Sebok (145,200).

Get full chip counts here and more reporting here.

* No proof Rasmussen said this.
** Blue Diamond Almonds is not a sponsor or advertiser of Wicked Chops Poker.

Joe Biden's Son Resigns as Lobbyist for Party Gaming Founder Russ DeLeon

Interesting flash from Poker News today on Democratic VEEP nominee Joe Biden's son, Hunter Biden:

The son of Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden has announced that he's leaving the lobbying business, as of now. Hunter Biden, the son of the Delaware senator, was a registered lobbyist for nine firms; six of the nine were universities, according to a Wall Street Journal report, but among the others was a deal of interest to online poker. Biden's firm, Oldaker, Biden and Belair, was a registered lobbyist for Russ DeLeon, one of the primary founders of PartyGaming (the parent of PartyPoker). Biden signed on in June to represent DeLeon's (and presumably Party's) interests in Congress, and collected $50,000 for his work prior to June 30. Later figures have not yet been released.

Wonder if Hunter ever got to meet A. Dikshit or two while we worked for DeLeon?

Most would agree that a Dem election wouldn't hurt the chances for an online poker carve-out as much as a McCain-VPILF victory, and this would go to prove that unsubstantiated hypothesis one step further. Read more about Hunter resigning here.

In related news, last week U.S. American Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA) introduced the "Payment Systems Protection Act of 2008." The Act:

"...will attempt to prohibit the two US federal agencies responsible for implementing the UIGEA (the Department of the Treasury and the Financial Reserve Board), from extending the UIGEA's reach beyond those areas specifically outlawed under previous federal code, such as sports wagering.

Frank's HR 6870 also calls for the suspension of current UIGEA code until an administrative law judge (to be appointed if the law were to pass) works with the Treasury and Federal Reserve to develop and implement workable regulations."

Read more here. In unrelated news, for a hot girl eating a red, white, and blue firecracker ice pop, go here.

Now The WPT Borgata Poker Open Is More Like It

While we love Spain and just almost everything about it, the EPT Barcelona Open was a major snoozefest. No scandal. No hot chicks advancing. No U.S. Americans.

Fortunately the WPT brought big tournament poker back to the U.S. Americas yesterday, giving us a mini-weed-dramabomb.

Apparently some guys were 86'd from the Borgata for smoking up in a room. According to a post on 2+2:

Man WTF **** the Borgata.

Myself and another are in a room with two others, apparently somebody complained, they let two of us go who aren't on the room and the other two are getting booted, can't play this weekend.

One of those people is rumored to be Amit Makhija, who it looks like is blazing up more than just the tournament circuit lately. Catch up on the thread here (also a good Hooker/No Hooker game post in there).

Jose Torres ended Day 1 as chip leader, stacked at 263,775. He was followed by some FOWCP, including Steve Dannenmann (249,150), Joe Sebok (163,500), and Tiffany Michelle (140,000).

Day 2 is underway and Sirous Jamshidi has moved up to chip leader with 340,000 since we've started writing this Stephen Vanauken is now chip leader with 456,000. Dannenmann is hovering around 248,000 and Michelle has moved up to 222,000. Other big named big stacks include Brandon Cantu (162,000), Jonathan Little (150,000), Ted Forrest (142,000), and the aforementioned Sebok (138,000). Although that's probably changed during the time it took to post this.

Just 216 remain from the respectable 516 entrants. Follow the action throughout the day here and here. Vid below of Tiffany Michelle discussing Day 1.

Let's Bury the EPT Barcelona Open: Sebastian Ruthernburg Won It

The EPT Barcelona Open wrapped, which is a good thing. Not a good thing is no more Spanish models like Ariadne Artiles. Take the good with the bad, we guess. View more Ariadne here.

Just get the full recap here.

Hard Rock Poker Lounge Grand Opening

The Hard Rock Poker Lounge had its grand opening bash/red carpet/tournament on Saturday. Plenty of pros and celebs of varying status showed up to take a crack at winning the top prize: a Hard Rock chopper.

Really, isn't it only fair to just give that to Hoyt Corkins after what he just went through? Can't they all just collude to make that shit happen? Someone throw Corkins a bone already!

Poker Lounge Grand Opening at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas

There Have Been Things We're More Excited About Than The EPT Barcelona Final Table

Even half-Spanish, half-Italian Playboy model, FHM featured babe, and NFL cheerleader Danielle Gamba would be bored with this final table.

The following is a brief list of things we're more excited about than the EPT Barcelona Open final table:

• Filling out paperwork for new healthcare plan
• Listening to current/first wives talk about what they bought at Target
• A new season of The Mind of Mencia
• Sawing own arm off
• Carrying on a spirited debate with anyone who believes in a 9/11 conspiracy
• Reading The Theory of Poker

Martin Nielsen takes the chip lead to the final table, stacked at 1,234,000 He's followed by Sebastian Ruthenberg with 1,132,000. The singular version of David Kita, Davidi Kitai, has 810,000. And Jason Mercier comes in among the short-stacks with 434,000.

Follow the final table action on Sunday here.

EPT Barcelona Open: The Plural Version of David Kita Leads the Way

Let's keep the Spanish model thing going. It's working well for us. And Almudena Fernandez, who is from Spain (where the EPT Barcelona Open is still going on), is way more attractive than Davidi Kitai or the EPT logo. View more pics of her here. And hey Poquer-Red, if you have any suggestions for other girls, let us know.

Action was fast and furious^TM at the EPT Barcelona Open on Day 2, as 203 played down to 36.

Most of the big names that survived to Day 2 won't be around for Day 3. The chip leader is

the plural version of David Kita, Davidi Katai, with 544,500. We first met Davidi at the 2008 WSOP, where he banked his first bracelet and cashed a total of three time.

This tourney threatens to be a big time "friends and family" final table, as the only notable names (to most people) remaining are Lorenzo Lamas (259,000) and Joe Pelton (226,000).

Get full chip counts here.

Hard Rock Opens New Poker Lounge This Weekend with Celeb Laden Event

Tomorrow the Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas will officially launch its highly anticipated Hard Rock Poker Lounge.

As part of the big kick-off, the Poker Lounge is hosting a red carpet VIP tournament, with the the winner banking a Hard Rock Chopper motorcycle. The red carpet starts at 5pm and the tournament at 6pm.

Expected to attend include Phil Hellmuth, Scott Ian Rosenfeld of Anthrax, Montel Williams, Andre Agassi, Randy Couture, Jermaine O’Neal, and Paul Pierce.

We also got a tip that three major, major A-listers may also be in attendance. While we can't name them, we can say that one of them isn't a fan of Sarah Palin.

This sounds like a great new spot for you degens, as the Poker Lounge will have bottle service, a specialty food menu and plenty of loud music that drowns out any rational thought process you'd normally have while trying to gamble.

We'll be on hand covering the event. Expect a new episode of The TOKE on it by tomorrow eve.

EPT Barcelona Open Breaks Records

Gabriela Vergara is from Venezuela, home of that douchebag nutcase Hugo Chavez. Regardless, this likely means Gabriela has some Spanish blood in her somewhere, right? Whatever. View more here.

Day 1B of the EPT Barcelona Open brought in 327 players, raising the tourney's total to 619, which while we're no math majors, based on what we hear that's some kind of new record.

As Poker Listings points out:

"EPT Barcelona provides a striking contrast to WPT Legends, which took place barely a week ago, and saw its field decrease by roughly 25% compared to last year. Barcelona, on the hand, saw its player count grow by 76 players this year."

The total prize pool for the event is just about $1.9M.

Sebastian Ruthenberg and Mikael Lundell ended the day as chip leaders, stacked at.  110,000 Other big names making it to Day 2 include but are not limited to Sorel Mizzi, Mats Rahmn, and Joe Pelton.

Big name busts include Daniel Negreanu, Scotty Nguyen, and Isabelle Mercier.

Get a full recap here.

EPT Barcelona: Lorena Van Heerde Nowhere To Be Found

Day 1A of the EPT Barcelona Open brought in 292 players, none of which was half Spanish, half Dutch model Lorena Van Heerde. View more pics of her here.

The EPT Barcelona Open almost hit its cap of 300 entrants, as 300 minus 8 showed for Day 1A action. Among those were 2007 WSOPE winner Annette Obrestad, a woman, 2004 WSOP champ Greg Raymer, and Vanessa Rousso, who went to Duke. None of them made it past Day 1A though.

Leading the way after Day 1A is Michael Murra, stacked at 87,000. Other big name big stacks include Lorenzo Lamas (61,000) and past EPT winner and kid who starred in that Star Wars video, Glen Chorny (55,000).

Making through to Day 2 (albeit short-stacked) include two hostages from The November Nine^TM, including our pick to win it David "Chino" Rheem and Scott Montgomery.

Get a full recap from Poker Listings here and follow Day 1B here. Also check out on Blonde Poker for off-the-beaten-path coverage here.

Poker News Brought to You By Triana Iglesias

We love Spain. And not just because Poquer-Red is one of our favorite blogs even though we can't read a word of it. The EPT Barcelona Open is going on right now, which means lots of Spanish babes on the site this week. Spain drops more hot girls than Scotty Nguyen drops mf bombs. Take Triana Iglesias for example. She's 50% Norweigan, 50% Spanish, 100% smoking hot. View more Triana here.

:: The Asian Poker Tour signs three Asians to be ambassadors: the spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran, Quinn Do, and Nam Le. If we U.S. Americans know anything, it's how to sell off our country to China, suing people for no real reason at all, approves home loans to people who can't afford them, KFC, racism, and that's racist. We're suing. [link]

:: Speaking of Nam Le, all around good guy Nam Le wins the APPT High Rollers event, banking $474,358. [link]

:: As mentioned above, thank you EPT Barcelona for getting underway! Hot Spanish girls on WCP all week! [link]

:: The Borgata Poker Open Main Event starts on Sunday, but catch up on the prelims with the hottest girl in poker, Lacey Jones, over at the tourney blog. [link] (added bonus, a re-link to Lacey in nothing but body paint here)

:: Party Poker is losing market-share...which means they're also going to lose employees. [link]

:: For those who saw the feature on Archie Karas on the 2008 WSOP last night, see him discuss how he blew his $40 mil. Must watch material for all you degens out there. [link]

:: And finally, if we ever get a link to this video, it might end up being our new Rick Roll. [link]

"Salty" Joe Hachem Particularly Salty on Tonight's WSOP Main Event Broadcast

"Salty" Joe Hachem was in rare typical form on ESPN, similar to his 2006 WSOP performance above.

Hat's off to ESPN for continuing to show poker players in a little more honest light this year.

The most recent case in point is spotlighting "Salty" Joe Hachem being especially salty on Day 1C of the 2008 World Series of Poker.

So here's what we're looking for...if one of our readers can put together a compilation of Salty Joe's saltiest moments and upload it to YouTube, we'll ship you a Wicked Chops tee. Easy enough. Have at it.

Not Necessarily Just Poker News Brought to You By Gisele Bundchen

For all you FFL'ers or Pats fans crying over losing Tom Brady for the season...don't.

:: Dr. Pauly and crew are keeping up with that action at the Borgata Poker Open. [link]

:: How did we forget to mention that Alain Roy won the Pardtouche Poker Tour event in Cannes? How? [link] how?

:: We're so out of the MTV demo now that we have pubes and all, but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate Christina Aguilera on the VMA red carpet. [link]

:: Daniel Negreanu slams John McCain's pick of VPILF Sarah Palin. [link]

:: Speaking of VPILF's, we were recently debating if Sarah Palin was the hottest politician ever...and she's definitely not. [link]

:: We were a little late getting to (and thusly missed) PokerListings' Run Good Challenge for poker bloggers, but Kid Dyamite has a recap. [link]

:: And finally, this Superfriends as the cast of Friends posted on the WCP Forum is freaking brilliant. [link]

Christina Lindley Doing Best Damn Poker Show, Blogging for Gambling911

Christina Lindley, the hot fitness model who debunked our theory that "hot fitness model" is code for "porn star," gave us the heads up today that she's shooting the Best Damn Poker Show this week for Fox Sports.

And as a nod to Wicked Chops Poker, Lindley is going to have  hottie Maria Ho!!!! rail her during the poker reality show, which stars Annie Duke and Phil Hellmuth. Look for exclusive pics of the Lindley-Ho girl-on-girl action here soon. If only they were going to be as hot as that sounds.

In related news, Lindley, who is friends with the hottest girl in poker Lacey Jones (video of them together here), is also now blogging over at Gambling911.com. Her first post is about her exploits at the table ever since the WSOP, and she also reveals that she and a few other female card players have started a "crew" of sorts.

As she puts its, "I started working with a group of girls, we decided to form a lady crew or team, if you will. We even came up with a name, TWC. Don't even ask."

Check it out here.

Lastly in other Lindley news, she has incredible breasts. Really, they're phenomenal. Okay this isn't really news but it's all we've been thinking about while writing this post.

Click away below for more shots of Lindley.

Daniel Negreanu on Mats Sundin Joining Team Poker Stars, the WCOOP, Bunch of Other Stuff

Daniel Negreanu covers a ton of topics (charity, travel, politics, WCOOP, etc.) in his latest vlog, including the 6-8 inches of water on his home floor when he returned from Sweden. We'll just let him explain.

Daniel Negreanu has got a lot going on...

U.S. American Edward Sabat wins APPT Macau; Friends and Family Final Table in France

Alexandra Paressant (above) is from France, where the Partouche Poker Tour "friends and family" final table is about to start. Paressant is the chick who said she had an affair with Tony Parker (proven false) and whose ex-boyfriend Ronaldinho sued her for alleged false statements to the press. And all of that would stop approximately 0% of you from trying to sleep with her. View her myspace page here.

Couple of quick weekend tournament round-ups:

:: Edward Sabat, a 22 year-old U.S. American from Los Angeles, won the APPT Macau championship. Sabat qualified for the tourney on Poker Stars through an $8 satellite. For the win, Sabat banks over $450k. Read more about it on Poker Listings here.

:: A star-studded final 48 field at the Partouche Poker Tour whittled down to a total "friends and family" final table. Gus Hansen bubbled the TV final table after making a questionable all-in call pre-flop with A-6 vs. Stephane Bazin A-K. A bunch of French and Euro sounding names make-up the remaining eight. Read more here.

Guy with Girls' Name Leading 2008 Partouche Poker Tour

Laetitia Casta is from France, where the Partouche Poker Tour is being played right now. A hoh hoh hoh!

We're really, really trying to stop ripping the French so much. It's too easy. We have to keep reminding ourselves that there are actually great things about the country. Topless beaches. Wine. Art. Really, France is great all around...except the people (except for Benjo, he's all right).

The one (and seriously only) redeeming quality of French people is their love of poker. Which brings us to the 2008 Partouche Poker Tour event in Cannes. Good pull of top pros and a first place prize of over $1.4M USD.

Day 2 just wrapped and only 48 remain. A couple of dudes with chicks names (although not HOT chick names like Shannon Shorr has...man, if someone approached us a few years ago and said, "Hey someone named Shannon Shorr wants to bang you," we'd say, "Bring it on!" sight unseen...good thing that never happened) lead the way, as Patrice Sitbon and Fabrice Nkoa are stacked at 867,100 and 660,700, respectively.

Big names pros remaining include Gus Hansen (583,800), Robert Mizrachi (453,000), Noah Schwartz (138,200), and short-stacked Scotty Nguyen (20,800).

Get a full recap here.

In unrelated Partouche news but somewhat related tournament news, Robert Varkonyi did not win Event #2 at the Borgata Poker Open. Read here.

Poker News Brought to You By Noemie Lenoir

Many of the big names in poker right now are in Cannes for the Partouche Poker Tour. While much of France disgusts us, what doesn't is model/babe Noemie Lenoir. We're fairly certain Noemie shaves her pits, uses soap, and doesn't have that annoying "A hoh hoh hoh" laugh that the rest of them do. Except for Benjo of course. He's all right in our book. More Noemie Lenoir here.

:: Gus Hansen and Michael "The Grinder" Mizarchi are currently kicking ass at the Partouche Poker Tour. [link]

:: PokerTek's automated tables are popping up all over the place. Now in the Excalibur, Atlantic Shitty, and that place in Indiana with the crappy WSOP-C event. [link]

:: Despite having a super sexy VPILF on the ticket, poker players are voting for Barack Obama over John McCain 2:1. [link]

:: Just the thought of Katy Perry making out with Scarlett Johansson is chub worthy. [link]

:: The fight against the UIGEA is getting some added legal muscle. [link]

:: Holy crap. Found this on Dr. Pauly. Robert Varkonyi is chip leader at a Borgata Poker Open event. Track the apocalypse --> [link]

APPT Maccau: It's Still Going On

The final table is set at the APPT Maccau tourney. Leading the way is Diwei "Bryan" Huang of Singapore with 1,046,000. He's closely followed by Day 2 chip leader and U.S. American Edward Sabat (results here) with 1,002,000.

Hopefully a group of naked girls will come and heist the cash on the final table so we have something interesting to write about.

Get full final table chip counts here.

In completely unrelated news, when did Cindy McCain go from being hot for her age to looking like a veloca raptor?

 

Well, Well, Well, Look Who's At It Again...

Keeley Hazell decides to try something new this time and do a photo shoot topless.

Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006-2007 (and 2008?), Keeley Hazell, has decided to shake things up a bit in her latest photo shoot and go topless.

And this is a good one. Somewhere on one of those off-ramps of the Information Superhighway^TM, the spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran is thinking to himself right now, "Daaag, I can't compete with THAT."

One thing we find interesting with Hazell is that she disproves the old adage that women get less attractive with age. If anything, it seems like Keeley has gotten MORE attractive from the ages of 19 to 22. Truly amazing. What's the secret?

See the whole NSFW Keeley Hazell topless spread here.

First Member of Hostage Group The November Nine(TM) Aligns with Pros for Consulting Advice

One of The November Nine^TM, Dennis Phillips, has formally signed with Oracle Poker Consulting for 2008 WSOP final table advice.

When everyone first learned that the World Series of Poker would hold nine people hostage (later to be dubbed The November Nine^TM) from July until November this year, one of the first outcries from the public was, "Who will HELP these people???"

The first shoe has dropped (publicly at least) on Wednesday as big stack Dennis Phillips as aligned himself with Roy Winston and Joe McGowan of Oracle Poker Consulting for advice leading to the final table.

Says Dennis Phillips (of this cry for help?):

"I look forward to working with Roy & Joe and Oracle Poker Consulting over the next couple of months leading up to the Main Event. I'm confident in my game and don't intend to change it, but I'm also smart enough to know that you can always learn more. Roy and Joe's help and insight will be invaluable, not only in preparing for the final table but in helping me navigate through the many aspects of being in the poker spotlight."

How this may or may not impact Phillip's relationship with the other hostages, or when he is released back to the general poker public, remains to be seen. Will he suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome? Will he bank $9M? Will he be good or bad for poker? As John Wetton might say, only time will tell.

Read the full press release in the WCP Forum here.