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[PrairieDogSD]

So... How many buy-in's do I get if I sleep with you and another woman?

[Nick C.]

"Hey Clonie, it's Erica. Here's the deal. I get half of the proceeds from that lawsuit or those pictures go out on the internet."

[ChopsCousin]

"Listen, Chops, thanks for being persistent and all, but I don't know....I mean....a 'Friday night Farting Shot' girl....it just sounds too weird for me..."

[Razboynik]

"Hi David, I told you not to call me at work! Has that boy Krantz been picking on you again? I'll kick his scrawny ass."

[sorry hage]

Mr B. I have seven-deuce and a man went all-in. what do i do?

[skippy]

whadda you mean the coke was stolen?

[BrokebackPokerDonkfest]

Hey, Clonie, what's up? You're suing Full Tilt Poker?? Really? Well I just heard your real name's "Cycalona." Girl, forget about FTP, with a name like that you should be suing your parents.

[Kipper]

"I am not pregnant are you?"

[Kipper]

"I am not pregnant are you?"

[Lone Rhino]

Yes, I'm moving my hand towards it now. But I still say my pants are too tight to be able to reach it through my pocket. Um, don't tell David, okay? I guess they were wrong about you, Daniel, you sexy sick beast.

[Newby]

Hello Target? Yeah I am wearing your new summer line. What does pwn mean??? Hello??? THIS WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL!!!

[Kajagugu]

Carmen? When do we we start filming "Carmen Electra Poker Strip Tease #2"? I just went busto again and David needs more food.

[jamie]

"There's a ginger? Where? At the table behind me? Ahhhh gross. Sick!"

[Steve Grob]

Go Green! Go White!

[DanM]

Wait ... what ... it is after Labor Day?

[Otis]

"It's okay. You ate the cat. That's only happened once before, baby. Remember, you can't eat if you're losing on Full Tilt with both hands. Just remember that, baby. I gotta go. Put Patches out on the porch just to be safe, k?"

[Adam]

I know we spent our life savings on the buy in to the Main Event, but don't worry, I've got a ten thousand dollar tournament chip in my pocket. If I bust out, I'll just go cash that and I'm even.

[Dan]

Ok, I'll get a booob job

[Aaron]

"Look David, I know I called that guy a no limit ass clown, but there is no way I could beat him in HU freeze out...I couldn't afford to play a 10 SNG if you weren't bankrolling me..."

[jamie]

"Camel toe? Who is this and how did you know that? Are you somewhere in the room right now?"

[brian]

David, if you say, "That's what she said" one more time....I swear I'm gonna go screw chops to get even.

[Dan]

what do you mean you're gay David?

[nicetats]

You lost How much?????

[Pauly]

"Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

[dug]

"erica, this is jack bauer. there is a man sitting at your table named shawn "sheiky" sheikhan. he has a bomb strapped to his waste. A BOMB. erica, this is the first step in a massive plot by shawn's sleeper cell to disrupt the WSOP. erica, you must create a diversion so i can come in and STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING. something involving you removing your shirt may work. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???!!! erica, we are RUNNING OUT OF TIME."