EPT Copenhagezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 
We just remembered why we cared about the EPT Copenhagen last year and ironically it had nothing to do with the EPT Copenhagen. Photo courtesy of Copenhagen Cycle Chic blog.

The EPT Copenhagen is on Day 3 and down to 16 players competing for 6,541,920 DKK which we think is around a million bucks because we recall dividing things by 6 when we traveled there. Not sure. Something else we're not sure about is who the hell these players are. Not one US American. No Tim Vance this year. Perhaps there's some Euro we should know about but we got dizzy after seeing all the consonants in the first player's name we read. We've successfully brought Starbucks and McDonald's to Europe, why can't we export a few simple names their way that don't look like something you'd come up with tossing darts at a keyboard?

In other EPT Copenhagen news, the boxing match between Theo Jorgensen and Gus Hansen is still on for this Saturday and wow did we lose interest in this fight long before it has even taken place. It's like that with us. Get all excited about something, think it sounds great and then lose interest. We're not going to say marriage has been like that for us, just in case our current/first wives are reading this, but you can read between the lines. Kidding (we're not). We really are (not really).

Okay, they're down to 13 now. Make that 11 now. Sort of took a nap while writing this post. You can follow the so-called "action" here.

In more exciting Copenhagen news, hot Danish girls are still riding bikes.

For more of our hot, sexy coverage of the EPT, click here.

Scarf-Wearing Italian Not Named Dario Minieri Wins EPT Prague Title

We generally like Italians. They cook up some of the best food on the planet and Italian girls are pants down among the sexiest in the world and thanks to chauvinism and sexism still being very much celebrated in their culture rather than frowned upon like in the rest of the so-called civilized world, they have endless TV shows that objectify these girls by putting them on display in their next-to-nothings like they were cattle at an auction. Hot, long-legged, perfect asses cattle.

But for some reason, by looks alone, we want to punch Salvatore Bonavena, the Italian who won the European Poker Tour Prague title this past Saturday, in the face. Maybe it's the scarf he was wearing but then again maybe not. We don't want to punch Dario Minieri when we see him in a scarf. We want to hand him a lollipop, pat him on the head and say "Go run along little boy." Oh, and for good measure, sames goes with Massimo Di Cicco (foreground in pic), the runner-up and also an Italian. We want to punch him too. Again, for no real reason. We're just angry like that.

And apparently we aren't the only ones who have a negative opinion of these two Italians. Here's what a source on the ground emailed us about Sal and Massimo when they were heads up:

"The two Italians who are HU (right now) for the Prague Title are both utterly terrible players, I mean totally useless. It doesn't actually matter who wins, both are as bad. With apologies to the couple of good Italian players there are out there (the obvious ones). This event can be summed up as, 'Throw enough shit Italian players at a poker wall and one of them will stick.' Andrew Chen who finished 3rd was basically robbed by some true performances of Eurodonkery at it's finest."

Actually, we always thought if you threw enough shit Italian players at a poker wall, DEGO WOP!! Get it? See what we did there? We used derogatory terms for Italians and made it sound like "They go whop!" All righty, check out Owen Laukkanen's recap of the EPT Prague final table at PokerListings here then click away below at photos of Eleonara Pedron, the hottest Italian girl we've seen in the past cinque minuti.

EPT Prague Draws 570 Runners To The Land Of The Hot Ovas

Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova is one of the hot "ovas" from the Czech Republic and is one of the many reasons, and by reasons we mean hot chicks, why Prague tops our list of places to take your penis on holiday.

The final European Poker Tour event of 2008 is underway at the Hilton Hotel Casino in Prague, Czech Republic, one of our penises' favorite countries to visit back in the day because of the endless number of ridiculously hot girls who give it up quicker than David Benyamine filling up his plate at a buffet as well as the super hot "ova" girls Petra Nemcova, Karolina Kurkova, Vernonica Varekova and Tereza Kerndlova.

An impressive total of 570 runners, many whose names give the alphabet a run for its money in the letter count department, entered the €5,000 buy-in event, boosting the total purse to €2,764,500. 

After Day 1a yesterday, Frenchman Ludovic Lacay leads with 94,200 in chips, Dane Dan Pedersen in second with 71,200 and Constantin Cirstea of Romania stacked third with 69,500. Rounding out the top five is the obnoxiously named, even by obnoxiously named European standards, Luka Gideon Schwartz Orbach (69,200) and a man who's first name sounds like some prescription drug chicks would use on their fun-gina Vasilis Chantzaras of Greece (67,700).

Of note, Harrahs, please fly Kate the hot EPT dealer in for the WSOP to handle our decks. 

As usual, Pokerlistings is all over the action like hot Hollywood actresses on stripper roles these days (here and here - NSFW). Check out their live updates here. Owen Laukkanen's Day 1b wrap up here.

Click away at some of our favorite Czech Ova's below.

Caption This . . . and Joao Barbosa Won EPT Warsaw

We may have posted this photo of Isabella Mercier and Dario Minieri at the 2008 WSOP before, perhaps in the forum, but it's one of our favorites and we're loving the responses to our other Caption This posts. You guys are good. Plus we're feeling particularly lazy this week. 

It's also somewhat related to news today that the scarf-wearing, femmi-bambino-ish Minier just finished third at the EPT Warsaw. In first was Portugal's Joao Barbosa who takes home €367,141 on his 26th birthday. Maybe he can buy a consonant for his first name with that money, or borrow one from sixth place finisher Sergey Shcherbatskiy. 

Get full report on the EPT Warsaw from Owen Laukkanen over at PL here.

Caption the above photo by clicking 'comments' below.

EPT Budapest Final Table Set, Zoltan Toth Leads

Super hot Kocsis Orsi is from Hungary where the EPT Budapest is wrapping up. We suggest skipping the below post and head here (NSFW) for more pics of her.

They are down to the Eight Best in Budapest (TM) at the European Poker Tour stop in Hungary and leading the way is some guy from the home country named Zoltan Toth with 1,059,000 in chips.

We're not sure who Zoltan Toth is but he has a pretty sweet name. Sort of sounds like the villain in a super hero flick. We did a half-ass search on the so-called "Internet" for Zoltan Toth and all we came up with was a video of some bodybuilder. Probably not the same guy.

Stacked in second is Romanian Ciprian Hrisca with 1,038,000. Yeh, we don't know him either.

Some decent Euros are among the final eight with the biggest name of the bunch being Johnny Lodden of Norway who's stacked in the middle with 500,000.

Not notable but worth noting is William Fry (572,000), who starts the final table in fourth. Is this the same William Fry who owned the condo at Panorama Towers that Jill Rockcastle killed Bill Gustafik in? Anyone?

Stay track of the final table action over at the PokerStars blog here.

Glen Chorny Wins EPT Grand Final

Well, there was no U.S. American repeat at the EPT Grand Final.

However, the title will remain on North American soil.

Glen "Do I Make You" Chorny, a Canadian, has won the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final.

For the win, Chorny banks $3,198,500, which is even more in Canada. Cause their dollar is worth more than ours. And we didn't even lose a war. In related news, up is down and black is white.

Chorny defeated Denes Kalo, a Hungarian, whose name backwards is Olak Sened, which sounds Norwegian, for the title. "Oui-oui" Canadian Maxime Villemure finished third. And the highest finishing U.S. American was Isaac 'westmenloAA' Baron in fourth.

Of note, our favorite funny sounding name remaining Big Top Pee-Wee Stip Top Rasmussen, finished 10th.

Get full final table payouts here.

EPT Grand Final: Antonio Esfandiari Out in 8th, 2 US Americans Left Looking for EPT 3-Peat

The television final table of the 2008 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo got underway earlier today, and they're already down to the last 6 players competing for the €2,020,000 (US$3.2 million) first place prize.

The first to exit of the final eight was WPT poster boy Antonio Esfandiari, who takes home €168,000 (US$267,413). It's the biggest cash for the magic man since becoming a WPT millionaire in 2004 at the LA Poker Classic.

Out in seventh was the Russian with a somewhat girlish first name although nothing really sounds girlish when spoken in Russian, Valeriy Ilikyan.

Still in are two U.S. Americans, online poker ace Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron (3.44 mil in chips) and young cash game pro Michael Martin (1.75 mil). The pair are looking to do what a US American has done the last two years at the EPT Grand Final, pwn the event. This no doubt must piss the Euros off and especially the overly-hyped Scandi players who are supposedly dominating the poker scene today although are nowhere to be seen at the final table in Monaco and have only won one of the EPT events this season whereas US Americans have Yank'd their way to 3 victories. And if we failed to mention it already, a US American has won the EPT Grand Final, the biggest tournament on European soil, the last two years. Typical American bravado you say? We say typical American results.

Standing in the way of a 3-peat for the US of A and ready to dish us up some humble pie at the EPT Grand Final today is a beaver hunter from our icy neighbor to the North Glen "Me So" Chorny, who has the current chip lead with 3.6 million, Italian PokerStars pro Luca Pagano with 1.9 million, another beaver hunter but of the oui-oui kind Maxime Villemure (1.45 mil) and Hungarian Denes Kalo, who is starving for chips with only 700k the last we checked.

Chip counts here and here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Paupers of the poker press here.

UPDATE: That really pleasant Italian poker pro Luca Pagano has jumped to the top spot with 3.4 million in chips. Baron still second. Chorny down to 3rd. Martin needs some help, stacked about a mil under the average.

Do I Make You Chorny?

Quick update from our earlier post. Only 10 left at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final. Leading the way going into tomorrow's final table is Glen "Do I Make You" Chorny with 3,400,000. Chorny, who is from America Jr., is clearly bringing his "Eh" game to this event.

A few U.S. Americans still remain, including second in chips Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron (2,310,000), Michael Martin (1,610,000), and Antonio Esfandiari (670,000).

Our favorite funny sounding name remaining is Big Top Pee-Wee Stig Top Rasmussen (570,000).

"Salty" Joe Hachem just missed the final table and a shot at poker's fictitious "Triple Crown," finishing 11th and banking $159,943. Get full EPT Grand Final final table chip counts final here final.

Native English-Speaking Countries Lead at EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo

It's the middle of Day 4 at the European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo, Monaco, and they're down to just 15 players battling for one of the 8 spots at the final table and a chance at the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Last we looked it was Glen Chorny, from American Jr., who's stacked the most with 1.38 million, and US American Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron is second with 1.37 million. In third right now is Londoner Robin Keston (1,148,000), and end of Day 3 chipleader Antonio Esfandiari has dropped to 5th with 1,072,000.

Sandwiched between Keston and Esfandiari is our favorite name left Stig Top Rasmussen (1,080,000), who hails from the land of hot chicks on bikes.

The nonsensically named Oyvind Riisem of Norway is just under the mil mark with 920,000.

In sixth is the WSOP Main Event champ from Australia "Salty" Joe Hachem (900,000), who with a win here, on top of his WSOP and WPT titles, would cement his status as a really, really good poker player.

Just three US Americans--Baron, Efandiari and Michael Martin--are left in the field, with hopes of making it a 3-peat at the EPT Grand Final for the Stars and Stripes.

Surprised busts today include CardRunner's Eric Lieu, half man, half amazing Freddy Deeb and Norwegian poker pro Johnny Lodden, who had been at or near the top of the chip count throughout the tournament.

Get live chip counts here.

For a "different sort of update" from the paupers of the poker press, go here.

We're not sure what the photo above of Sophie Monk looking sweaty hot has to do with this post. She's uh a native English speaker? She's looking sweaty hot? Yeh probably the latter. Anyway, you can see more of her by clicking the photo above and here.

EPT Grand Final: Day 3 Ends with Antonio Esfandiari on Top, 39 Players Remain

Day 3 at the PokerStars.com European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo has officially come to an end with 39 players remaining, and US American Antonio Esfandiari is magically the man with the most at the million chips mark (official chips counts not up yet). Starting Day 4 tomorrow with the second most chips is Robin Keston, from London, UK, and Norwegian Johnny Lodden, Hungarian Denes Kalo and Junior American Maxime Villemure round out the top five.

Of note, the EPT Grand Final may or may not have set a new tournament record today for the longest bubble in history, clocked at over 2 and a half hours. That's hand-for-hand play for more than 150 minutes, to use another time unit, just to lose one player, who turned out to be the pro that sometimes looks like a pirate to us, Surinder Sunar.

Watch the PokerStarsBlog's sensationally dramatic account of the lengthy bubble in the video below. Unrelatedly, check out Kate, the dealer chick the PokerListing's guys are digging in Monte Carlo, here. One of you guys close the deal yet?

Watch video above on YouTube here.

PokerNews.com reports here and PokerListings.com here.

UPDATE: PokerStars has posted the official chips counts going into Day 4 of the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo. Check it out here. Of the remaining 39 runners, 10 hail from U.S. America with only 3 from Norway, despite having 4 at the top of the count at the end of Day 2. Stig Top Rasmussen has the best name left in the field, with Oyvind Riisem still looking more like an arbitrary assortment of letters to us and not the name of some Norwegian.

EPT Grand Final: Antonio Esfandiari Magically Leads, Joe Hachem Gets 'Salty' with Woody Deck

The new World Poker Tour poster boy and leader of the long-forgotten "Magician Invasion" of 2005, Antonio Esfandiari is the current chipleader at the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo, where 50 or so players remain gunning for the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Stacked at 655,000, according to PokerNews.com, Esfandiari hasn't won a major event since Bush's first term in office, which either means the guy is due or has no chance to pull this off. Could go either way. Yes, we're feeling especially noncommital today after watching the Brittany Lee Hustler video. With our pants down.

In second right now is Peter Traply from Hungary, who's been gobbling up chips all day amassing 590,000 last we checked. Sitting in third, Norway's Johnny Lodden with 550,000.

Still in and feeling especially salty today is "Salty" Joe Hachem (195,000), who is looking to complete the poker tour trifecta here by adding an EPT win to his WSOP and WPT titles. Word from the floor is that Hachem, who earned his nickname from us because he's quick tempered and feisty, was quick tempered and feisty today when the unfortunately named Woody Deck accused him of angle shooting and called him an asshole. An enraged Hachem looked as if he was going to pummel the cocky Deck when Antonio Esfandiari hopped on over, in total Rocks & Rings style, to hold him back. PokerNews.com reporter TassieDevil has the scoop over in their live reports section. Try to find it here if you can, or scroll down or click another page or give up trying to find it 'cause the PNewsers don't have permalinks for their posts. Web 2.0 Tony G. Help a brother out.

Besides Esfandiari, the hopes of US America pulling off a third consecutive EPT Grand Final win rest in the hands of some decent players, a few who don't necessarily sound like they're from U.S. America, like Rami Boukai (469,000), Isaac Baron (410,000), Noah Siegel (260,000), David Shade Kruger (243,000), Michael Martin (240,000) and CardRunner's Eric Lieu (237,000).

Most recent big name bust was Sorel Mizzi who exits in 55th place for €25,200.

Chip counts here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Otis and the PokerStars gang here.

Norwegians Rule EPT Grand Final

Updating our earlier post on Day 2 risers at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final, the nonsensically named Oyvin Riisem continued to build his stack, ending play as chip leader with 441,400.

Oyvind is followed by three other Norwegian countrymates, Johnny Lodden (380,300), Borge Dypvik (296,000), and Andreas Hagen (276,800).

They must be putting something good in the North Atlantic water there, because aside from the renown abundance of smoking hot girls like Natassia Malthe (at right), Norway sounds like freaking heaven on Earth. At least according to Wikipedia it does:

Since World War II, Norway has experienced rapid economic growth, and is now amongst the wealthiest countries in the world,^[6][7][8] with a fully developed welfare system. This economic progress is caused in part by the development of oil and gas reserves off its coast. Norway was ranked highest of all countries in human development from 2001 to 2006, and tied in the first place with fellow Nordic country Iceland in 2007.^[9] It also rated the most peaceful country in the world in a 2007 survey by Global Peace Index.^[10] It is a founding member of NATO.

You probably get blowjobs when you walk off the plane too. And then they massage your back because, you know, blowjobs can cause a lot of tension.

In fifth overall is 2005 WSOP champ "Salty" Joe Hachem, stacked at 255,530. Some other big stacked big names include Sorel Mizzi (203,200), Freddy Deeb (153,300), Woody Deck (147,800), Stig Top Rasmussen (137,600), and Marcel Luske (128,700).

Get full chip counts from Poker News here.

PokerStars EPT Blog here.

More Natassia Malthe here.

EPT Grand Final Update: Johnny Lodden Not Rotten, Oyvin Riisem Rising, Joe Hachem Doing Well

Checking the current chip counts for Day 2 at the PokerStars EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo (photo, at right), it looks like Scandi poker ace Johny Lodden is leading the pack with 325,000 in chips trailing the nonsensically named Oyvin Riisem who has 385,000 in chips, with Lodden at 335,000.

In third is Haksoshj Yeiebdnam with 255,000. Actually, we just made that name up by typing random letters on our keyboard, which we're guessing is how half the players at the EPT Monte Carlo were named. Really in third is Andreas Hagen.

Of note, Joe Hachem is up over the 200k mark, and Woody Deck is proving to be stiff competition at the tables still with a sizeable stack of 145k.

Pros busted since we last posted include Josh Arieh, Chris Lee, Ryan Daut, Gus Hansen, Chad Brown, Peter Feldman, Victor Ramdin, Humberto Brenes, Barry Greenstein and Vanessa Rousso, a woman, who went to college at Duke, where she was educated at Duke.

On the really short, somewhat annoying, kinda weird but probably a nice guy US American amateur poker player front, EPT Copenhagen winner Tim Vance wasn't able to win another one for his daughter N-a-n-z-i.

Chip counts here.

PokerStars EPT Blog here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Below is a funny-if-your-poker-media video from the EPT crew, showing they have way too much time on their hands. Funny enough, when we saw the headline saying "Piechartgate" we thought it was some Euro dude's last name. Seems more plausible than Oyvin Riisem.

EPT video on YouTube here.

EPT Grand Final - Some Funny Sounding Names Remain

Day 2 play is underway at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final. Here's our leaderboard of funny sounding names:

Starting it off is the man who may have a club named after him ala Davidson Matthew and Temp Hutter... Woody Deck (123,000). Then Uffe Holm (108,875), the potentially Italian Beniamino Speroni (80,525), Klas Gustav Axel Arvidsson (four names!!!) (47,050), Stig Top Rasmussen (46,350), the extremely sexily named Trond Erik Eidsvig (44,525), Chad Brown (37,125), Walid Bou Habib (33,550), Fowzi Baroukh (30,325), Torbjorn Jonson (25,150), Metaal Govert (6175), and Ditspong Pinpramot (4750).

Find some of your favorites and get live reporting at Poker News here.

This Girl is Playing the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo

Alexia Portal, the cute, often naked-in-movies French actress from our "This Girl is Playing the EPT Dublin" and "This Girl is Playing the EPT Polish Open" posts, is playing the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo. Last we checked over at PokerNews.com, Portal was up above the hundy k mark with 104,400. The photo to the right of her is a grab from some foreigny interview she did last summer on Lake Mead with Fabrice Solier (view video here).

A quick update from Day 2 of the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo . . .

Norwegian Johnny Lodden, the guy who reportedly got Trojan'd out of some serious euros, has the most chips right now at just over 200,000. Woody Deck is on the rise with 123k and some guy with 108k has the ridiculous first name Uffe.

Patrik Antonius, Juha Helppi, Vicky Coren, a woman, and Noah Boeken have all been eliminated on Day 2 of the EPT Grand Final.

Also gone today is Team PokerStars Daniel Negreanu, who was so confident he was going to win the tournament he already had shirts made celebrating his victory, or at least that's what he jokingly told the growing-on-us cute Kara Scott in the video below. Otis, or someone in MC, tell Kara the Entities say hello.

Watch video on YouTube here.

EPT Grand Final - Frenchman Cyril Bensoussan Takes Day 1B Chip Lead

As we walk around the Monte Carlo Bay Hotel & Resort* observing the action at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final, we couldn't help but think of all the things we'd rather be doing in Monte Carlo than covering a poker tournament.

Catch a game at the Louis II Stadium...take in a concert at Prince's Palace...get crunk at Jimmy'z...or chill out and reflect on life at the Sainte Devote Chapel.

But alas, we're stuck in the poker room.**

Leading Day 1B action is Cyril Bensoussan, who eats frog legs, with 130,000. Bensoussan has one major cash to his name at an EPT Prague No Limit Hold-em event. While we typically like to dump on the French, they do have possibly the hottest First Lady of all time right now in Carla Bruni (above). Bruni, who just auctioned off some nude photos of herself, reminds us that the French are at least good for thing: hot First Ladies.

Some big names that are still alive include Poker Stars team members Daniel Negreanu (36400), Chad Brown (35500), Joe Hachem (35400), and Vanessa Rousso (33500), as well as Gus Hansen (32000), Antonio Esfandiari (27350), and one of our favorite names in the field Stig Top Rasmussen (28000).

Get full chip counts from Poker News here.

* Or our house.
** Replace "poker room" with "living room."

EPT Monte Carlo Grand Final Underway, US Americans Seek 3-peat, Woody Deck Still In, Boris Becker, a Ginger, Gone

The 4th season of the PokerStars.com European Poker Tour is down to its crowning event, the EPT Grand Final, held along the banks of the Mediterranean in Monaco, the Principality that has given birth to hot royal-ers like Charlotte Casiraghi thanks to the extraordinary genes of Grace Kelly.

Action got underway yesterday at the Monte-Carlo Bay Hotel and Resort with 392 runners taking their seats on Day 1a of the €10,000 buy-in event. By night's end only 171 players still had chips to bag with Norway's Stephen Kjaerstad amassing the most, 111,200, followed by US American Chris "Genius28" Lee, (6,050) an uber-high-stakes online poker player who is not to be confused with this Chris Lee.

Ending up with the 3rd most was Norwegian Johnny Lodden, the Scandi poker ace who got Trojan'd out of a few hundred thousand euros, allegedly.

Some of the big names you may recognize and can pronounce making it to Day 2 include Shaun Deeb (84,375), Woody Deck (70,800), Sorel Mizzi (52,550), Mel Judah (47,450), Marcel Luske (46,375), Trond Erik Eidsvig (44,525), Luca Pagano (43,750),Nicolas Levi (43,250), Josh Arieh (38,500), Jason Mercier (35,375), Freddy Deeb (35,175), Thomas Wahlroos (34,500), Humberto Brenes (32,700), Anna Wroblewski (31,425), Thierry Van Der Berg (25,975), Peter Feldman (25,725), Bill Edler (22,250), Noah Boeken (18,250), Patrik Antonius (14,000) and Barry Greenstein (5,825).

Big name pros exiting on Day 1a include Phil Ivey, Greg Raymer, Erick Lindgren, Barny Boatman, Pascal Perrault, Jeffrey Lisandro, Ben Grundy, Tony G, David "El Blondie" Colclough, Tuan Lam, Julian Thew, Annette Obrestad, a woman, Katja Thater, also a woman, and Isabelle Mercier, also a woman.

Day 1b has been underway for several hours now with 450 runners starting today, bringing the total players in the field to a record 842, according to mathematicians. US America has the biggest contingency with 138 players looking to make it three EPT Grand Final titles in a row for the Red, White and Blue.

Like Day 1a, lots of big names are playing, are still in or have been eliminated. As the headline mentions, Boris Becker, a ginger, is done stealing souls at the EPT Grand Final, exiting early. We think Jordan Rich, also a ginger, is still in though, so watch your backs.

Get live reports of today's action in Monte Carlo from Otis and the PokerStarsBlog gang here and PokerListings 's Matthew Showell and Martin Derbyshire here.

Get yourself an escort in Monaco here.

Some senseless accolades from today and a video of Kara Scott, the Kimberly Lansing of the EPT, looking cute while doing her job after the jump:

Videos of EPT Back Rubber Frida Johansson Make for a Good Post

The below video of Italian poker pro Cristiano Blanco interviewing Peter Jepsen's girlfriend Frida Johansson, who you may know better as the European Poker Tour's back-rubbin' hottie, is Exhibit # 3,237,829 of why you shouldn't trust your girl around an Italian dude.

And after the jump, CardPlayer Italia's perv-errific video of the smoking hot Swedish masseuse (did they purposely zoom in on her back so it says 'SAGE RAPIST' about 40 seconds in?) is Exhibit #1 of the most noteworthy thing the so-called "Poker Authority" has ever done. Only Italians can get away with shooting something like this on the floor of a poker tournament. Or at least do so and not feel creepy about it.

Watch on YouTube here.

Click "Continue . . ." below for second video.

US American Jason Mercier Wins EPT San Remo In-a Italy

Our final EPT San Remo report is brought to you by the favolosa-ly gorgeous 29-year-old Italian model and actress Elisabetta Canalis, who like most hot Italian chicks has a penchant for banging professional soccer players. We hear Chelsea's Didier Drogba is the latest to have the pleasure.

A U.S. American has done it again.

For the third time this season, a relative unknown from the US of A has upset the Europeans on their home turf to take the top prize in a European Poker Tour event. First it was Reuben Peters of Colorado who slayed poker phenom Annette Obrestad, a woman, heads-up to win the EPT Dublin last November. Then it was Tim Vance at the EPT Scandinavian Open who conquered the Danes in Copenhagen. And now it's 21-year-old Jason Mercier, playing in just his second live tournament, who will bring an EPT title back across the Atlantic after he bested a field of 700 mostly Euro-runners to win the EPT San Remo and its €869,000 first place prize.

On his way to victory, Mercier played a near perfect tournament at the Casino Sanremo. The young Floridian, who plays online poker for a living, ended day 2 as the chipleader, and he found himself at the final table today in good position with the second most chips, just behind Italy's boy wonder Dario Minieri. While the mini Minieri was poised to command the final table with his aggressive style and the vocal support of his countrymen, it was Mercier who ended up dominating the table, singlehandedly sending the final five to the rail, including Swede William Thorson (6th), Italy's Gregory Genovese (5th), France's Eric Koskas (4th), Minieri (3rd) and France's Anthony Lellouche (2nd).

With his win, Mercier earns an automatic seat to the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo on April 12. The premier poker tournament on European soil, the EPT Grand Final has been won the past two years by a US American, with Jeff Williams capturing the title in 2006 and Gavin Griffin taking it down 2007.

Watch a video of the final hand being played out at the EPT San Remo and Kara Scott's post-victory chat with Mercier here and read Matthew Showell's interview with Mercier after his win here.

EPT San Remo: Italy's Dario Minieri and US America's Jason Mercier Lead Final Table

This EPT San Remo report presented by 28-year-old Italian TV showgirl Elisabetta Gregoraci. The ambitious Italian hottie is most famous for "allegedly" banging a high-ranking public official to land a spot on a television show and is now banging some rich Italian dude 31 years her senior. See more of her on the Internet.

The final table at the EPT San Remo in Italy is set with the home country's Dario Minieri the chip leader with 1,832,000 in chips, and US American Jason Mercier in second with 1,591,000.

Minieri, who we first noticed at the 2006 WSOP, more for his scarf-wearing, femmi-bambino-ish looks than his hyper-aggro playing style, is no doubt the home turf favorite and will be looking for his first major tournament win. Minieri is a regular fixture at the virtual tables on PokerStars as well as the European Poker Tour and WSOP. His biggest cash so far was at the EPT Baden in 2006 where he finished third.

Mercier, who hails from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is playing in only his second live tournament and is seeking to be the third US American to take home an EPT title in Season 4. Check out an interview PL's Arthur Cowson did with Jason ahead of the final table here. Another US American, Marcus Bower, has also made the final eight although he's severely shortstacked with just 278,000.

The player with the most wicked poker chops at the final table is Scandi William Thorson, who has his work cut out for him with only 418,000 in chips.

Player most likely to have you whacked if you suck out on the river against him: Italy's Gregory Genovese, who's stacked with 694,000.

Also at the final table are two Frenchies, Anthony Lellouche and Eric Koskas, who have somehow not yet surrendered their chips (1,192,000 and 449,000, respectively) to other players.

The full final table at the EPT San Remo below and clicktastic photos of Elisabetta Gregoraci below that:

Dario Minieri (Italy) - 1,832,000
Jason Mercier (USA) - 1,591,000
Anthony Lellouche (France) - 1,192,000
Gregory Genovese (Italy) - 694,000
Dag Palovic (Slovakia) - 585,000
Eric Koskas (France) - 449,000
William Thorson (Sweden) - 418,000
Marcus Bower (USA) - 278,000

EPT San Remo: Diminutive Scarf Wearing Dario Minieri Doing Well

Today's EPT San Remo report brought to you by 22-year-old Italian hottie Debora Salvalaggio, who likes to play this game with us called "Find the Photo of Debora where she isn't Topless." And she almost always wins, except for maybe this time. See Debora playing the game like a champ here (NSFW) and with this NSFW video here.

Day 3 is well underway at the EPT San Remo in Italy because they're 9 hours ahead of Las Vegas time and it's 9:20am here which makes it that plus 9 hours o' clock in Italy right now. You do the math.

Starting the day as the chip leader with 31 players remaining was US American Jason Mercier, who bagged 648,000 in chips at the end of the night. In second was that French guy who sounds like he should be either Eastern European or from Minneapolis but definitely not a Frenchie. Koskas sat down today with 596,000 and is currently the chip leader with more than a million in chips, according to the PokerListings gang in Sanremo.

In third at the start of today was that itty bitty Italian guy who wears the Harry Potterish scarves but we bet he still gets laid, Dario Minieri. He started the day with 596,000 and last we looked, he's on a tear on Day 3 with more than 800,000 in chips.

Also doing well is William Thorson, who had 320,000 at today's start and was the chipleader about an hour ago with around 900,000. The Swede has amassed more than $1.6 in tournament winnings over the past few years, with $900k of that from his 13th place finish at the 2006 WSOP Main Event.

On the notable players from US America front, they're all gone.

Best middle name that is a middle name and not a nickname at the EPT San Remo: Mads Wissing Andersen

Best Italian name of the day: Ezio Guagliata.

Live reports here.

EPT San Remo: French Guy With a Non Sounding French Name on Top After Day 1b

Today's EPT San Remo report brought to you by Giorgia Palmas, the stunningly perfect 26-year-old Italian television personality who just may be the hottest hot girl from the land of pizzas, cannolis, and guys who put gobs of grease in their hair. Do yourself a favor and get to know Giorgia here (NSFW), here (NSFW video) and the clickably candid beach photos below.

France's Eric Koskas, whose name doesn't sound very French to us in that it doesn't sound like the name of some man-loving fashion designer who wears a beret, says "oui oui" a lot and puffs on Gauloises all day, finished Day 1b at the EPT San Remo as the chip leader. Koskas takes 106,200 in chips onto Day 2, putting him just behind Day 1a leader Ville Nyman of Finland.

Here's what the top 5 look like heading into today at the Casino Sanremo:

Ville Nyman -- Finland -- 107,100
Eric Koskas -- France -- 106,200
Henrik Brockmann -- Germany -- 100,100
Antony Lellouche -- France -- 97,200
Yung Hwang -- US -- 96,000

208 poker players have made it through to Day 2 of the sold-out event, which started April 1 with 700 entries and almost a third of the field from the home country Italy. The next largest contingency was neighboring France who had 64 players ready to surrender their chips at the first sign of aggression. The US Americans also showed up in force with 61 players, no doubt thanks to PokerStars online qualifiers.

The total purse at the EPT San Remo is an impressive €3,195,860 with first place set to earn €869,000 and a total of 72 players walking away with some cash in their pockets.

Big names making it to Day 2 but already eliminated include Daniel Negreanu, Thor Hansen, Pascal Perrault, Steve Zolotow. Noted players from Day 1b still among the field on Day 2, last we checked, include Theo Jorgensen, Antonio Esfandiari, Marc Goodwin, Todd Brunson, Juha Helppi, Max Pescatori, and Soren Jensen.

Best Italian name of the day: Flavio Ferrari Zumbini

Best use of the useless umlaut: Eero Kekäläinen

Get live updates here and here.

Get happy with photos of Giorgia Palmas below . . .

Hot Furry Action at the EPT San Remo

We know many of our readers have been saying, "You know I really dig EPT presenter Kara Scott, but when is she gonna do the furry thing on video. Boy would I love to see her dressed as a squirrel or a chipmunk. Or better yet, a bunny rabbit. Now that would be hot!"

Well, like Christmas come early, if you're some strange dude who gets off on people dressing as anthropomorphic animal characters, the Canadian-born hostess donned a rabbit suit at the EPT San Remo yesterday after apparently losing a prop bet with Chris Tessaro from Hardcore Sports Radio. Video in all its plushy glory below.

Watch the video on YouTube here.

Thanks to CJ for the tip.

EPT San Remo Sees Finland's Ville Nyman Lead on Day 1a

The next stop of the European Poker Tour is underway in Italy, home to some of the world's most sensationally hot women, like Melissa Satta at right.

The first of two Day Ones at the EPT San Remo was held yesterday with 337 mostly Euro-rounders ponying up the €5,000 buy-in at the Casino Sanremo. At the end of Day 1a, a total of 95 players remained, and it was Finland's Ville Nyman who held the chip lead with 107,100, and Germany's Henrik Brockmann was not far behind with 100,100. Just think of the crazy, disturbing porn these two fellas combined have probably witnessed during their lifetimes. Really, Fins and Germans love the weird stuff. It's creepy. But curious.

US Americans have gotten off to a decent start with Yung Hwang amassing the third most in chips (96,600) and Anthony Spinella (71,600) and Isaac Baron (62,700) also among the top ten.

Notables who lasted through the Day 1a action include Luca Pagano (53,900), Mark Teltscher (50,400), Brandon Schaefer (48,400), Raymond Rahme (43,700), Roland de Wolfe (39,800), Ryan Daut (35,900), Steve Zolotow (33,800), Dario Minieri (28,200), Liz Lieu, a woman (28,700), Pascal Perrault (23,500), and Thor Hansen (11,600).

Some of the big names making an early exit in San Remo include Patrik Antonius, Sorel Mizzi, Mel Judah, Katja Thater, a woman, and Peter Jepsen.

Day 1b action is already underway today, and the tournament has reached its capacity of 700 players, making it the largest EPT event this year on European soil, we think. Among those in the field today are Daniel Negreanu, Noah Boeken, Vanessa Rousso, a woman, Isabelle Mercier, a woman, Fabrice Soulier, Todd Brunson, William Thorson and Bertrand "ElkY" Grospellie.

Get live updates here and here.

See photos of Melissa Satta from her Spanish Maxim spread and more, below and after the jump.

EPT Polish Open Wraps in Warsaw, Schulze the 'Seiger,' Next-a Up Is-a San Remo in-a Italy

Michael Schulze (not at right), a 40-year-old stock trader and amateur poker player from Germany, so he probably likes weird porn, is the winner of the EPT Polish Open in Warsaw, earning himself the tournament's first place prize of 2,154,000 PLN (€609,782).

Finishing in second was Portugal's Ricardo Sousa, a relative newcomer to the game, and in third, Mathias Viberg, one of three Swedes at the final table.

Of note, which we already noted, Norwegian Trond Erik Eidsvig, established a new European Poker Tour record by making his third EPT final table this season. The Scandinavian Poker Rookie of the Year finished today in 8th.

Daniel Woolson, a US American, finished in 9th.

Here's how the final nine fared at the EPT Polish Open:

1. Michael Schulze - Germany - 2,154,000 PLN
2. Ricardo Sousa - Portugal - 1,220,600 PLN
3. Mathias Viberg - Sweden - 718,000 PLN
4. Mehdi Ouakhir - France - 538,500 PLN
5. Christian Oman - Sweden - 437,980 PLN
6. Juan Maceiras - Spain - 344,640 PLN
7. Niclas Svensson - Sweden - 272,840 PLN
8. Trond Eidsvig - Norway - 201,040 PLN
9. Daniel Woolson - USA - 122,060 PLN

The European Poker Tour heads next to San Remo in Italy, home to the world's most sexiest women under the age of whenever it is that chain smoking cigarettes and eating mama's spaghetti and homemade cannolis finally do their damage. Some of our favorites include Martina Stella, Melissa Satta, Rosario Cannavò, Elena Santarelli, Camilla Sjoberg, Giorgia Palmas, and Francesca Lukasik, who you see above.

Until Italy, enjoy:

Poker News You Won't Read Because of Hot Photos of Rosaria Cannavò
Martina Stella is a Hot Girl from Italy . . .
Melissa Satta and Elena Santarelli video

EPT Polish Open: Final Table Set in a Hurry, Daniel Woolson Sole US American, a Kraut in Command, and Swedes Swarm

It took just two hours and 40 minutes for 17 players to exit the EPT Polish Open today and give the tournament its final nine that will be competing for the first place prize of 2,154,000 Polish Zloty ($950,000 US).

Bubbling in 10th was the last man standing from the land of hot girls on bikes, Claus Nielsen. A friend of our friend Jonas Hüttel, the Dane used work at our favorite Copenhagen rag Ekstra Bladet before he became a poker manager, with clients such as 2007 WSOP ME final table-ist Philip Hilm. Like other Danish card tossers--Henrik Gwinner, Sander Lylloff, Gus Hansen, including -- Nielsen is a pretty decent backgammon-er, and has most recently co-founded pokernyhederne.com (Danish for poker news).

When play begins Saturday at the Casinos Poland in Warsaw, a German named Michael Schulze will sit down the big stack with 1,162,000, giving him more than a 400k margin over his nearest competitor Ricardo Sousa of Portugal, who finished play today with 756,000. Sitting in third, fourth and fifth are Juan Maceiras of Spain (437,000), Mehdi Ouakhir of France (360,000) and Mathias Viberg of Sweden (229,000).

The most notable name of the final bunch, at least to us, is Norwegian Trond Erik Eidsvig, who sits in sixth place with 220,000. Eidsvig is making his impressive third European Poker Tour final table this season and recently nabbed Rookie of the Year honors at the Scandinavian Poker Awards.

Sandwiched between two Swedes -- Niclas Svensson (174,000) and Christian Öman (110,000) -- is the lone US American Daniel Woolson, who has his work cut out for him as he starts tomorrow stacked at 164,000.

Stay tune here for the latest from the EPT Polish Open.

The girl above is the awesomely named Doda Elektroda aka Dorota Rabczewska, a hard body rock singer from Poland who a Google search shows likes to drop the top often for Polish men's magazines. After the jump, some of her less NSFW-ish moments . . .

EPT Polish Open: Scandis, Krauts, US Americans on Top, Poles Not So Much

Day 2 at the EPT Polish Open is a go in the country that gave us kielbasa, polka and the gargantuanly breasted Ewa Sonnet (above), and among the top 10 in chips at the Casinos Poland are four Scandinavians, three U.S. Americans, two Germans and one Spaniard.

It's Robert Flink from Ikea-land who started the day as the chip leader with 113,300, and Dan Pedersen, from the land of hot girls on bikes, sat down with the second most, 98,500.

Go here for the full top 10.

Apparently and surprisingly our math was correct yesterday, and the total prize pool for the EPT Polish Open is 7,180,000 Polish Zloty (about 2 million euros). First place will walk with 2,154,000 Polish Zloty (609,782 euros). Second place gets less.

Unlike the EPT Copenhagen, in which Danes dominated the field in both numbers and overall success, the Poles, well, not so much. Of the 359 players who started, less than 10% were from Joanna Krupa-land. Strikingly, not one Pole appeared to be in the top 50 at the start of play today and only six or so are still in.

So what are we getting at? Poles kind of suck at poker.

UPDATE: Irish poker pro Andy Black, who started the day near the bottom of the top 20 in chips, is steamrolling the field like hooker-banger Eliot Spitzer once steamrolled white collar criminals and is now near the top of the chip count with 110,400 at the first break of the day, according to PokerStars Blog. Meanwhile Day 1 chipleader Robert Flink has disappeared from the field, and the new chipleader is Kosta Anastasyadi from Holland, a country where Spitzer could get his Ashley Alexandra Dupre on legally.

Players who've busted today include Johnny Lodden, Mel Judah, Dan Ryan, Casey Kastle, Marc Goodwin and the lovely Liz Lieu, a woman.

Not yet busted, Woody Deck.

This Girl is Playing the EPT Polish Open in Warsaw

Alexia Portal (at right, on the left), the French actress you don't know from the film Autumn Tale but may remember from our "This Girl is Playing the EPT Dublin" post, is among the 168 players who ponied up the 21,000 Polish Zlotych buy-in today to start Day 1b at EPT Polish Open.

Also among the field today at the Casinos Poland: 2004 WSOP Main Event champ Greg Raymer and serial EPT-ers Luca Pagano, Pascal Perrault, Thor Hansen, Andy Black, Soren Kongsgaard, Thierry van den Berg, Rolf Slotboom, Mark Teltscher and William Thorson.

Also, also there at the EPT Polish Open today are:

Dave Colclough, whose wife is Rhowena, if you didn't know and like you didn't know.

Sorel Mizzi, who says he's sorry again and creepily has a poster of Annette_15 on his wall.

Mel Judah, whose Vegas lap dances last summer are scarred into our brains.

Johnny Lodden, who was apparently the poker pro that got Trojan'd out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Liz Lieu, who is hot.

The second flight draw of 168 players puts the total field at 359, a decent increase from last year's debut event in Warsaw which drew 284 to the Casinos Poland. The total drives the prize purse up to 7,180,000 Polish Zlotych if our math is correct, and it probably ain't.

Surviving Day 1a yesterday were 72 players including the chip leader Robert Flink, a Swede, who amassed 113,000. Second in chips was Spaniard Anio Alcaraz (78,000) and third but first in weird foreigny name was German Alp Okumus (62,100).

For full chip counts, go here and scroll down.

Our WCP tip of the day: Don't do a Google Search of Ewa Sonnet or a Google Image Search of Ewa Sonnet (NSFW). Unless you're your own boss, and even then, only if you have an hour or so to kill. Ewa Sonnet by the way is Poland's 36E answer to Keeley Hazell, but more pornish, because she's Polish.

EPT Polish Open Underway, We're Rooting for Woody Deck

From the land of hot girls on bikes and who wear men's underwear to the birthplace of poker playing swimsuit model Joanna Krupa (at right, on some beach in Warsaw), the next stop of the European Poker Tour got underway today with the EPT Polish Open at the Casino Poland. Day1a action in the capital city saw 190 players take their seats on the first flight of the five-day tournament, which was won last year by Dane Peter Jepsen.

Among the notable names in attendance include two-time EPT Season 4 final table-ist Trond Eidsvig (Norway), British cash game specialist Marc Goodwin (England), EPT Barcelona winner Sander Lyloff, the Harry Potter of Poker Dario Minieri (Italy), Season 3 EPT Copenhagen winner Magnus Petersson (Sweden), Season 3 4 EPT Baden winner Julian Thew (England) and Katja Thater (German), a woman.

Also in the field, a guy named Woody Deck from Lithuania, who just may be the new Simon Mycock of European poker. We can only hope he rises to the occasion in the land of the Poles and sticks it out for a few days.

Poker TV presenter and Canadian defector to the UK Kara Scott, who stands about a foot taller than EPT Copenhagen winner Tim Vance (midget?), is also at the tables today as a player and not so much as the EPT hostess. Scott most recently won the Sports Stars Challenge III, which was as exciting as the name sounds.

Stay here for the best, most informative, "like you are actually there" EPT Polish Open updates around, and what we mean by that is occasional, somewhat brief, light on the details but heavy on the photos of hot Polska dziewczynas, if our Polska is correct.

Relatedly, some Joanna Krupa photo links below and after the jump, a clip from Poland Idol, which is like American Idol but with Polaks:

Joanna Krupa photos from the World Series of Poker
More Joanna Krupa photos at the World Series of Poker
Joanna Krupa goes naked for PETA
Joanna Krupa 2008 Calendar photos

Soren Jensen Really, Really Loves His Brother, Not So Loved by His Countrymen

The photo to the right is 2008 EPT Copenhagen runner-up Soren Jensen and his brother kissing on the lips.

Now if you're not as progressively minded as we are, this might seem a little gay. Or at least a little European (read: gay)*. It would be a totally different story if this was Soren’s sister, and Soren’s sister was Angelina Jolie, because when she made out with her brother at the Oscars that was kind of hot. If we were Angelina Jolie’s brother, we’d probably hit that too.

Speaking of Jensen, the word from the city of hot Danish girls on bikes and who wear men's underwear is that the home turf crowd was actually rooting for US American Tim Vance to win the EPT Copenhagen title, and not Jensen.

Says our unnamed source who we like to call "Jonas Hüttel":

"Actually nobody wanted Søren to win. One the Danish pokerforums like pokernet.dk (like 2+2) everybody thought he was a disgrace because he was behaving like a mad man every time he won a pot doing crazy dances, shouting out 'Come you Whites, (in support of his favorite football team AGF), 'Come on Jutland', kissing his brother and so forth.

So when they went heads up the majority of Danes were rooting for Tim...But actually he was a pretty nice guy away from the table and afterwards completely blamed himself for loosing the heads up which was played to passiveley you wouldn't believe it and dragged on forever."

Speaking of "Jonas Hüttel" he shared with us one of his favorite Ekstra Babes, besides Thea of course. Check her out below and more here. After the jump a video of an Ekstra Babe who may or may not be the same as the one below. Hard to tell. Hot Danish blondes all look alike to us.

* Not that there's anything wrong with that (being European or gay)

EPT Copenhagen is Done, Next Up EPT Warsaw, Birthplace of Joanna Krupa

After a painfully mundane heads-up snooze fest at the EPT Copenhagen yesterday, US American Tim Vance finally walked away the victor in the land of hot Danish girls on bikes and who wear men's underwear.

The 46-year-old Vance, who hails from the land of toasted ravioli and pork steak, is now 6,220,488 DKR richer, or $1.24 million US. Vance is the second US American to take home an EPT title this year, and the second consecutive EPT winner from North America.

Runner-up-ing was Soren Jensen from Arhus, Denmark, a city where the average girl is hotter than Jessica Simpson on her best day. No kidding. Jensen's second place finish was likely a disappointment to the crowd at the Casino Copenhagen considering the home turf-ers had pretty much dominated the tournament from the first day.

The EPT heads next to Warsaw, Poland, the birthplace of Joanna Krupa (above), our favorite Polska dziewczyna.

Until then, some Joanna Krupa below:

Joanna Krupa photos from the World Series of Poker
More Joanna Krupa photos at the World Series of Poker
Joanna Krupa goes naked for PETA
Joanna Krupa 2008 Calendar photos

EPT Copenhagen: U.S. American Tim Vance Heads-Up Against Dane Soren Jensen

The final table of the EPT Copenhagen held in the city of hot Danish girls on bikes and some who wear men's underwear (like the one at right and after the jump below) got underway earlier today with U.S. American Timothy Vance of the Lou the overwhelming chipleader, stacked at 1,408,000--nearly twice as much as his nearest competitor Rasmus Hede Nielsen, who started play today with 789,000. Another U.S. American, Daniel Ryan, began in third with 557,000. The rest of the field consisted of three Danes, one Swede and a Frog.

From our sources on the ground, it's down to heads-up now with Tim Vance hanging on and finding himself with just one player, local hero Soren Jensen, standing between him and the €834,590 first place prize. If Vance wins, he will be the second U.S. American to take home an EPT title this year.

The latest news is that the heads-up play is painfully slow with check folds the norm. According to Matt over at PokerListings, there's already been 204 hands between the two.

Below is how the other final table-ers fared:

3. Magnus Hansen - Denmark
4. Rasmus Hede Nielsen - Denmark
5. Daniel Ryan - USA
6. Nicolas Dervaux -France
7. Simon Dorsland - Denmark
8. Patrik Andersson - Sweden

UPDATE: Tim Vance won.

A few more photos and a video of hot Danish girls who wear men's underwear after the jump.

Say 'Hej' to Thea, She's from Denmark Where Day 2 of the EPT Copenhagen is Done

Our friend in Denmark Jonas Hüttel, who is an editor at Danish newspaper Ekstra Bladet and a great poker journalist, has been giving us the word on the ground at the EPT Copenhagen but more importantly has shared with us some of the "Ekstrababens" his paper features every week.

These are Denmark's answer to Page 3 girls like Keeley Hazell and Vikki Blows, and Jonas has the enviable job of being the editor of this section of the paper. Poor fella.

The Danish girl to the right is Thea, she probably rides a bike everywhere she goes and you can see lots more of her here.

For great EPT Copenhagen tournament coverage that we can't understand a lick of, head over to:

:: ekstrabladet.dk/poker
:: acemag.dk
:: pokernyhederne.com

For the English speaking folks, go here and here.

Nebuchad Not An Anti-Semite, Can't Even Spell It

Scandi online poker player Jonas "Nebuchad" Danielsson has hit the poker forums in an effort to quell the controversy surrounding his "Jew problem" comment at the Scandinavian Poker Awards in Copenhagen, which if we forgot to tell you, is a city where super hot girls ride bikes everywhere (for back story on Nebuchad's remarks go here).

Posting over at 2p2, Nebuchad explained:

"I feel comfortable in my english when I write. Its (sic) completly (sic) different from writing on here and speaking in front of like 300 people (which included many of my idols).

I laugh at mystupidself (sic) and I hope other people can laugh at me too and see it for what it was. Which was a nervous kid making a big blunder.

To clarify,

I dont have any anti-semetism (sic) in me and I apologize deeply to those people who were offended by my mistake. I hope after this that you might laugh at this stupid wierd (sic) kid that I am."

Nebuchad also explained himself during a video interview at the EPT Copenhagen with Siktilt.com, which you can view here.

Read the 2p2 thread here.

Photo above of Bar Refaeli because she is Israeli so we assume she's Jewish and thus may be offended by Nebuchad's comments.

EPT Copenhagen: Danes Continue to Dominate on Home Turf

Day 1B at the EPT Copenhagen in the city of hot chicks on bikes is in the books, and five of the top six in chips at day's end were Danes, including the day's chip leader, Theo Jørgensen, who amassed 75,900. That amount puts him in third overall going into Day 2 with fellow Dane Peter Eastgate standing at the top of the count with 79,700.

Notable players who made it through Day 1B and are still gunning for the €834,590 first place prize at the Casino Copenhagen include Luca Pagano (56,400), Alexander Kravchenko (40,500), Bill Chen (40,300), Trond Erik Eidsvig (35,400), Barny Boatman (30,000), Nicolas Levi (20,900), Thor Hansen (20,200), Noah Boeken (9,400) and Rolf Slotboom (9,400).

Young Canuck Mike "Timex" McDonald is following up his EPT German Open win with a respectable showing by making it to Day 2 with 32,500.

In addition to Bill Chen, US Americans still around after Day 1 action include Charles Furey (44,600), Joseph "Don't Call Me Sebok" Serock (35,200), Joseph Morneau (26,200), Steve Frezer (22,500), Kenneth Lyons (19,300), Dustin Mele (13,400), Paul Grabowski (12,600) and Ryan Badii 12,600.

Finally, the Strange Foreign Name of the Day goes to Wim Emo of Holland. Congrats Wim.

Get your full chip counts here.

See more hot Danish girls on bikes like the ones above at the Copenhagen Cycle Chic blog.

Danes Dominate on Day 1A of the EPT Copenhagen

Day 1A wrapped yesterday at the EPT Copenhagen with 84 of the 230 who started the day still in the hunt for a share of the record Scandinavian prize pool of nearly €3 million.

It was the local Danes who dominated play yesterday, with ten of the top 20 players and two of the top three all hailing from the land of smoking hot girls who fashionably ride bikes in heels and skirts everywhere they go. It's one of our favorite things about Denmark and apparently we're not the only ones who appreciate this phenomenon as this blog shows.

The day end chipleader was Peter Eastgate, a local, with 79,700 in chips, with Swede Ola Brandborn barely trailing with 79,300. Dane Mathias Andersen sits in third with 71,600 while a Canadian Tommy Pavlicek ended his day in fourth with 67,000.

Axed on day one were noted pros Daniel Negreanu, Gus Hansen, Sorel Mizzi and Annette Obrestad, a woman.

Day 1B is underway at the Casino Copenhagen and already Tony GKatja Thater, a woman, have busted. Other big names among the 230 who started today include Tom McEvoy, Roland de Wolfe, Luca Pagano, Marc Goodwin and Andy Black.

For reports on Day 1A and 1B action, go here.

* Photo above courtesy of Copenhagen Style Chic.

Irina Shayk Brings You Some Poker News

:: Duane Demaris Crittenden II shoots people who cheat at poker (Click here) :: EPT Copenhagen is underway and Daniel Negreanu, Bill Chen and players who wear scarves and have names we can't pronounce are among the field (Click here) :: Full Tilt Poker's website is apparently under a barrage of Denial of Service attacks. Action is still rolling at the tables though at www2.fulltiltpoker.com (Click here) :: Annette Obrestad, a woman, is about to have a new teammate as Betfair Poker (Click here) :: Former NFL communications-er Seth Palansky is the new Communications Director for the WSOP (Click here) :: Irish poker pro Andy Black doesn't choke and wins a sort of major event (Click here) Below and after the jump photos of 22-year-old Russian model and 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue-er Irina Shayk (aka Irina Sheik and Irina Shaykhlislamova).

A Canadian with Name We Can Pronounce Wins EPT German Open

We'll keep this short.

Michael McDonald, an 18-year-old ice farmer or beaver hunter or Nickelback fan club president or something like that from Canada, won the EPT German Open in Dortmund, Germany. For the win, he takes home €933,600, or about $1.39 million.

McDonald, who goes by the name "Timex" online, is the youngest winner in EPT history.

For more on McDonald's historic win, check out the wrap-up piece by PokerListings' Owen Laukannen here. It's hot.

Payouts for the players at the final table without using those weird European punctuation marks over certain letters in people's names below:

1st - Mike McDonald – Canada €933,600
2nd - Andreas Gulunay – Germany €528,500
3rd -- Torsten Haase – Germany €307,000
4th - Diego Perez – Spain €234,200
5th - Claudio Rinaldi – Switzerland - €193,000
6th - Johannes Strassmann – Germany - €152,000
7th - Thibaut Durand – France - €120,200
8th - Christian Harder – US – €85,500

Oh yeh, that's Denise Milani in the photo. She's from Czech Republic, which is next to Germany. She has natural 34DDDs and nothing to do with this post.

Odette Yustman Is a One-Woman EPT German Open

We're not so much into covering the EPT German Open in Dortmund, Germany as we are into loosely connecting famous hot chicks we're currently digging with the poker tournament.

Today, that girl is Odette Yustman, the flawlessly hot star of the J.J. Abrams monster flick Cloverfield who, like the remaining players at the end of Day 2, is a hodge podge of various nationalities (she's a Jewish-American born in LA to parents of Italian, French and Cuban descent) and has sort of a strange name, although nothing like Torsten Haase of Germany, who started today with 36,800 in chips, and Aniol Alcaraz of Spain, who was stacked at 216,200.

Yustman also speaks Spanish fluently, like the chipleader at the start of Day 3, Diego Perez Marco, who began today with 361,600.

Michael McDonald, a Canadian and not of the Doobie Brothers, was in second with 335,7000 and is pretty much the only guy left with an Anglo name we can pronounce confidently.

Of note, big name pros Daniel Negreanu, Annette Obrestand, a woman, and Thor Hansen were eliminated on Day 2, and last we checked Marcel Luske and Brandon Schaefer saw their tournaments end today with 16 players left.

Owen Laukkanen is all over the action in Germany like Paris Hilton on Elisha Cuthbert, yet nowhere near as hot. Check his live reports here.

Fun photos of Odette Yustman and a video of her washing a car after the jump . . .

Martina Stella is a Hot Girl from Italy Which is in Europe Which is Where the EPT German Open Is Being Led by a Frenchman

The above headline pretty much sums up what we've learned during the past 13 and a half minutes on the Internet. Well that and how to survive a freestyle rap battle and that watching some mentally ill pop star lose her shit every single day isn't as much fun as we thought it would be. Don't get us wrong, it's fun, just not as fun as we thought.

Going beyond the headline though, Day 2 is underway at the EPT German Open in Dortmund, Germany, and Daniel Negreanu is among the top ten in chips with 59,900. WSOPE Main Event champion Annette Obrestad, a woman, is not far behind with 50,200.

Leading the field is some French guy named Chabot Cyrille who's stacked at 111,110, followed by Italian Claudio Rinaldi (71,300).

The rest of the 149 players left on Day 2 consist of people with ridiculous names like Peyman Mohammadzadeh, Jioí Kulhánek, Korosh Mollaie, Szikrai Istvàn, Nazim Kicik, Yngne Anderberg and Jarkko Paasisalo.

We're guessing Rekop Spohc Dekciw, the legendary Scandinavian tennis player, didn't play the event.

Finally, Martina Stella, who has nothing to do with the EPT German Open and who has been mentioned on this site briefly before, is a reprehensibly hot Italian actress and model who you may remember from her small role in Ocean's Twelve. Jog your memory with more photos of Martina Stella plus a video of her dancing on a stage after the jump.

Live updates from the EPT German Open from PokerListings.com's Owen Laukkanen here.

Boris Becker, a Ginger, Plays Not Playing EPT German Open Today

See that photo to the right? That's Boris Becker, a man without a soul. A creepy, scary guy who can make you feel queasy just by the sight of him. A ginger.

Now we could argue whether or not gingers should be able to breathe the same air as us or play the game of poker, or at the least, compete in non ginger-only events, but we'll save that for another day.

What we will say though is that PokerStars.com, the online poker site that is sponsoring Becker, is recklessly exploiting his gingervitis with that promo shot to the right. Shit, even if Becker wasn't a ginger, he still looks creepy, scary and soulless in that pic. Combine that with the fact that he is indeed a ginger, and well, let's just say we're glad we're not anywhere near Dortrum, Germany today where Boris Becker, a ginger, is among the field of Day 1b players at the European Poker Tour German Open.

Wait...just checking PokerListings.com right now and it appears Boris Becker was a no show due to an "unexplained illness [that] has kept him from making the trip to Dortmund."

Unexplained illness?

We think we know what that may be. Too bad there isn't a cure.

Anyway, we ironically have a day of Wii Tennis ahead of us so we have to run. Stay tuned to PokerListings.com where you can keep track of today's action, including the play of poker pros Daniel Negreanu, Bertrand Grospellier, Marcel Luske, Ram Vaswani, Noah Boeken and Annette Obrestad, a woman.

U.S. American Reuben Peters Wins EPT Dublin, Annette Obrestad, a Girl, Finishes Second

Reuben Peters, a 45-year-old father of two from Colorado, has won the EPT Dublin, besting a field of mostly European players with unnecessary letters in their names to take home €532,620. He also earns a spot at the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo next year.

Peters, whose name comes oh so close to Davidson Matthew status, started the day as one of the shortstacks but doubled early and eventually found himself heads-up against WSOPE champion Annette Obrestad, a girl. The Norwegian teen phenom, who had already taken out four of her final table opponents, held a nearly 4-to-1 chip advantage over the U.S. American when it came to heads-up play but like a wife at Target on a Saturday afternoon, or Monday after work, or whenever, Obrestad ended up squandering her lead away on useless crap. She finally saw her run towards another European championship come to an end when she called Peters' all-in with pocket sevens on a board of 10-6-3. With A-10 in the pocket, Peters would hold on to win the hand and EPT Dublin main event.

With her runner-up finish, Obrestad wins €297,800, putting her ahead of Jennifer Harman on the list of all-time women money winners. Only two other women, Kathy Liebert and Annie Duke, have won more than Obrestad's $2,052,688 in career tournament winnings. Not turning 21 until September 2009, Obrestad still won't make her WSOP debut on American soil until the summer of 2010.

Read more about the EPT Dublin here and here.

Photo of EPT Dublin winner Reuben Peters courtesy of PokerStarsBlog.com.

Annette Obrestad, a Girl, May Be Good at Poker

So perhaps her turning nothing into a few hundred thousand dollars online, winning tournaments without looking at her hole cards and beating out the world's best to take down the inaugural WSOPE Main Event wasn't all a fluke, like we thought.

Maybe 19-year-old Annette "Annette_15" Obrestad, a girl, is actually good at poker.

Stranger things have happened. Like Nickelback* selling millions of records despite sucking. Or that time one of us didn't have to take a poop in the morning. Or when that Czech supermodel didn't give it up after a night of partying in Prague. That was strange. Obviously a lesbian. But still.

Anyway, going into Day 3 of the EPT Dublin, Obrestad is second in chips with 284,700, and from all reports, or at least those at PokerListings.com, the young Norwegian has been steamrolling the competition with the same aggressive play she showed in London this past September.

At the top of the count is 2005 WSOP final table-ist Andy Black, who starts the day with 350,300. Other players still in include a bunch of guys with names that look like a bunch of consonants and vowels randomly thrown together like Michiel Brummelhuis and Ziad Kaady and Csaba Malnai.

For live updates head over to PokerListings.com, who's all over the action at the EPT Dublin like Sheiky on underage girls at a high school party.

Also check out Raise.TV for video streams from the EPT Dublin.

* A band loved by ALL Canadians.

UPDATE: Totally missed this but FOWCP Simon Munoz of Poquer-Red.com, who just yesterday commented on this post, was third in chips at the start of Day 3 but was just sent to the rail after being crippled by Annette, then getting it in bad against Andy Black, according to PL. Check out an interview we did with Simon back in 2006 here.

This Girl is Playing the EPT Dublin

French actress and infrequent showerer Alexia Portal, star of such films as a bunch of French ones you've never seen, was among the players on Day 1b of the EPT Dublin yesterday.

Ok, that's pretty much all we got on the EPT Dublin.

Oh one more thing, defending EPT Dublin champ Roland de Wolfe showed up yesterday looking like a million bucks after being a no-show on Day 1a.

In related news, de Wolfe went busto.

In more related news, as in it also happened yesterday, Paris Hilton dressed up like a tranny ho pulling tricks outside a PX last night in Las Vegas and she did it all for the troops.

Want more of a recap of Day 1 at the EPT Dublin? Craving the nitty gritty details? Want to know who the chipleaders are? Want to read about a bunch of foreign dudes with non anglo names you can't pronounce? Ok, then, go here.

For all that is good about France, go here.

Poker News and Girls Your Mom Would Be Proud Of

:: Big gamer Barry Greenstein is predicting Congress will pass legislation contrary to the UIGEA in less than 6 months. Wonder if he's taking bets on that. [PokerNews.com] :: British sex pistol Vikki Blows is freaky hot in her 2008 calendar pics. [NS4W.org] (NSFW) :: The EPT Dublin kicked off today with UK poker pro Roland de Wolfe looking to defend his title. [PokerListings.com] :: Media whore and whore whore Kim Kardashian classes up a bit in the latest issue of Playboy, in that none of the photos show her getting banged by some dude. [Celebslam] :: Las Vegas Sun business writer Jeff Simspon ain't too happy with the last two WSOP champs and he doesn't think Harrah's is either. Join the crowd. [Las Vegas Sun] :: Are we smoking crack if we think Lucy Pinder's face kind of looks like Riki Lake or are we just smoking crack because we're looking at her face in these photos from Ralph Magazine? [Egotastic.com] :: Shay Laren is a dirty little exhibitionist who likes to do the Jenny Woo on camera. These pics are as clean as they come. Give 'em a look then google away. [HollywoodTuna.com] Our "Hottest Girl in Poker search is heating up with Lacey Jones way out in front and Brandi Hawbaker a surprise second based on your emails and comments. Got a favorite? Did we miss someone in our post? Chime in here.

A Lebanese Guy Named Joe Wins EPT London

Joe Mouawad from Beirut, Lebanon has won the European Poker Tour event in London, banking £611,520. Germany's Florian Langmann, who is not a woman, runner up'd. Another German, Marcel Baran, finished third.

France's Anthony Lellouche ended up in 6th place, winning £97,843, which he immediately surrendered to the two Germans.*

With his win at the Vic, the 47-year-old Mouawad joins the ranks of other Lebanese born poker players, including Joe Hachem, Freddy Deeb and Sammy Farha, who have made names for themselves in the poker world without having names that sound very Lebanese to us. Like Hakim or Bashir or Rafiq.

For an excellent recap of Mouawad's win head over to PokerStars Blog.

For full results and reporting from the EPT London, go here.

Photo courtesy of PokerStars Blog

* That maybe didn't happen.

Florian Langmann, Not a Woman, Marcel Baran, Also Not a Woman, Lead EPT London Final Table

Play is underway at the 2007 EPT London final table and a bunch of Euros you've never heard of remain.

The current chipleaders are Florian Langmann (1,241,000), who's not a woman despite a womany sounding name, and Marcel Baran (856,000), at right, who's not a woman despite a womany looking face.

Get full chip counts from PokerNews.com here.

Surinder Sunar Sits Atop the Leaderboard at EPT London

Surinder Sunar, our favorite Punjabi poker player who sometimes looks like a pirate, is the current chipleader on day 3 of the European Poker Tour event in London. The enigmatic card tosser is stacked at 470,000 with the nearest competitor, Anthony Lellouche, a Frenchie, with 350,000 in chips (ah, the irony that a Frenchman is second behind a guy named Surinder).

A bunch of foreign players with foreign names remain in the field with our favorite in the group being Phidias Georgiu, 'cause it just may be our first European entry into the Davidson Matthew club.

After being at or near the top of the chip count for the past two days, Chris Moneymaker is back to being Chris Moneymaker as he currently sits in the lower half of the field. He did recently take out one of the two remaining women, Katja Svendsen. That is unless Florian Abrahams isn't a woman. Can hardly tell with these foreign names. But sounds girly to us so we're going with it.

Stay track of the action here.

UPDATE: Moneymaker doubled up and is now in 6th with 21 players left and according to PokerNews.com Florian Abrahams has changed her name to Florian Langmann.

Moneymaker Current Chipleader on Day 2 of the EPT London

Day 2 action at the European Poker Tour event in London is already underway at the Vic, and with 93 players remaining, U.S. American Chris Moneymaker is the current chipleader with 140,000.

While Moneymaker's strong showing so far, despite years of sucking since his big win, is impressive, even more impressive is that two French guys, Nicolas Levi (115,000) and Pascal Perrault (100,000), have yet to surrender their chips to other players and are currently in second and third place.

Early casualties on Day 2 include Daniel Negreanu, Liz Lieu and DTD Girl groper, Roland De Wolfe.

A total of 392 players entered the EPT London bringing the total prize pool to an impressive £2,038,400, with £611,520 set aside for first place. Last year's winner, Vicky Coren, a woman, took home £500,000 for her win.

Keep track of today's action at the EPT London here.

For the ten greatest moments in female flatulence go here.

UPDATE: Despite the report from PokerNews.com that Roland was an early bust out today, he's still in.

Photo courtesy of the Bodog Beat

Could the EPT London Be Chris Moneymaker's 1995 British Open?

We've been sort of predicting that Chris Moneymaker will pull off a John Daly this year by winning his first major after pretty much sucking ever since he won the 2003 WSOP Main Event, and although he's come up empty handed so far, the flash-in-the-pan poker player is off to a good start at the EPT London, finishing Day 1A with the third most chips (79,700) behind current leader Nicolas Levi (100,300) and Daniel Mangas (98,500).

So could this be the one? Can Moneymaker pull off a win on the same soil that saw Daly make his triumphant comeback in 1995 at the British Open?

Yeh, probably not.

Others at the top on Day 1A at The Vic whose names we can spell and pronounce include Ola Brandborn (73,100), Barny Boatman (45,300), Marc Goodwin (43,000) and the forgiving husband of Rhowena Colclough, David Colclough (39,000).

Journalist, one-time porn producer and last year's EPT London winner Vicky Coren, a woman, was eliminated during day one action.

Day 1B is already underway with Daniel Negreanu, Gavin Griffin, Joe Beevers, Thomas Wahlroos, Ram Vaswanie, Sander Lylloff and Liz Lieu among the players in the field.

For live reporting on today's action, head over to PokerNews.com and for the title sponsor's slant jump over to the PokerStars Blog.