Pieter de Korver Wins PokerStars EPT Grand Final

Dutch poker player Pieter de Korver captured the EPT Grand Final yesterday, defeating Matthew Woodward heads-up for the title.

Amazingly, de Korver won his way into the event via an online freeroll, and banked €2,300,000 for the win. While we're pretty sure de Korver's win won't have the same impact in...um...Dutch, er, country...as Chris Moneymaker's 2003-turning-a-$39-online-satellite-win-into-$2.5M did in U.S. America, it's still an impressive story.

Unless you live near a fjord, you probably don't know anybody else at the final table (outside of maybe fourth place finisher Dag Martin Mikkelsen). But if you want to know results and payouts, go here.

Matthew Woodward Maintains Chip Lead at EPT Grand Final, Annette Obrestad Makes Charge

At post time this morning, Matthew Woodward has built on his overnight chip lead at the EPT Grand Final. He is currently stacked at 2,800,000.

Only 18 players remain. Unless you live near a fjord you probably don't know/don't care about the rest, except for perhaps Annette Obrestad, a woman, who is currently stackd at 1,400,000.

Follow the action live here.

Annette Obrestad, A Woman, Among EPT Grand Final Day 2 Chip Leaders; Phil Laak Still Alive (!)

Vanessa Claudio, a woman, is not among the many female chip leaders at the EPT Grand Final. However, she IS among the hottest girls we've ever seen come out of Mexico. Granted, that list is like five girls deep, but still, we'd gladly self-inflict ourselves with the swine flu for a romp with Claudio...if we were single. Love you honeys! View more Vanessa Claudio in Max Magazine here.

Some big stories are developing in Monte Carlo at the EPT Grand Final: 1) Can Annette Obrestad, a woman, capture her second major live tournament title in two years? 2) Can Sandra Naujoks, a woman, capture her second EPT title? 3) Did Phil Laak really make it to Day 3 of a major event? How did that happen? Phil Laak? 4) Seriously though, Phil Laak?

Of the 935 starting field, 149 remain after Day 2 wrapped. Marc Naaldenis overall chip leader, stacked at 770,000. Among other chip leaders are the aforementioned Annette Obrestad, a woman (600,000), the aforementioned Naujoks, also a woman (280,000), Ilari "ziigmund" Sahamies (200,000), Sorel Mizzi (170,000), Alexander Kravchenko(157,000), seriously wtf Phil Laak (150,000), Dennis Phillips (135,000), J.J. Liu, a woman (130,000), and "Salty" Joe Hachem (130,000).

Also still alive going into Day 3 is Phil Laak. Wait, what?

Get full chip counts here.

Phil Laak.

Glen Chorny Wins EPT Grand Final

Well, there was no U.S. American repeat at the EPT Grand Final.

However, the title will remain on North American soil.

Glen "Do I Make You" Chorny, a Canadian, has won the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final.

For the win, Chorny banks $3,198,500, which is even more in Canada. Cause their dollar is worth more than ours. And we didn't even lose a war. In related news, up is down and black is white.

Chorny defeated Denes Kalo, a Hungarian, whose name backwards is Olak Sened, which sounds Norwegian, for the title. "Oui-oui" Canadian Maxime Villemure finished third. And the highest finishing U.S. American was Isaac 'westmenloAA' Baron in fourth.

Of note, our favorite funny sounding name remaining Big Top Pee-Wee Stip Top Rasmussen, finished 10th.

Get full final table payouts here.

EPT Grand Final: Antonio Esfandiari Out in 8th, 2 US Americans Left Looking for EPT 3-Peat

The television final table of the 2008 PokerStars.com European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo got underway earlier today, and they're already down to the last 6 players competing for the €2,020,000 (US$3.2 million) first place prize.

The first to exit of the final eight was WPT poster boy Antonio Esfandiari, who takes home €168,000 (US$267,413). It's the biggest cash for the magic man since becoming a WPT millionaire in 2004 at the LA Poker Classic.

Out in seventh was the Russian with a somewhat girlish first name although nothing really sounds girlish when spoken in Russian, Valeriy Ilikyan.

Still in are two U.S. Americans, online poker ace Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron (3.44 mil in chips) and young cash game pro Michael Martin (1.75 mil). The pair are looking to do what a US American has done the last two years at the EPT Grand Final, pwn the event. This no doubt must piss the Euros off and especially the overly-hyped Scandi players who are supposedly dominating the poker scene today although are nowhere to be seen at the final table in Monaco and have only won one of the EPT events this season whereas US Americans have Yank'd their way to 3 victories. And if we failed to mention it already, a US American has won the EPT Grand Final, the biggest tournament on European soil, the last two years. Typical American bravado you say? We say typical American results.

Standing in the way of a 3-peat for the US of A and ready to dish us up some humble pie at the EPT Grand Final today is a beaver hunter from our icy neighbor to the North Glen "Me So" Chorny, who has the current chip lead with 3.6 million, Italian PokerStars pro Luca Pagano with 1.9 million, another beaver hunter but of the oui-oui kind Maxime Villemure (1.45 mil) and Hungarian Denes Kalo, who is starving for chips with only 700k the last we checked.

Chip counts here and here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Paupers of the poker press here.

UPDATE: That really pleasant Italian poker pro Luca Pagano has jumped to the top spot with 3.4 million in chips. Baron still second. Chorny down to 3rd. Martin needs some help, stacked about a mil under the average.

Do I Make You Chorny?

Quick update from our earlier post. Only 10 left at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final. Leading the way going into tomorrow's final table is Glen "Do I Make You" Chorny with 3,400,000. Chorny, who is from America Jr., is clearly bringing his "Eh" game to this event.

A few U.S. Americans still remain, including second in chips Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron (2,310,000), Michael Martin (1,610,000), and Antonio Esfandiari (670,000).

Our favorite funny sounding name remaining is Big Top Pee-Wee Stig Top Rasmussen (570,000).

"Salty" Joe Hachem just missed the final table and a shot at poker's fictitious "Triple Crown," finishing 11th and banking $159,943. Get full EPT Grand Final final table chip counts final here final.

Native English-Speaking Countries Lead at EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo

It's the middle of Day 4 at the European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo, Monaco, and they're down to just 15 players battling for one of the 8 spots at the final table and a chance at the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Last we looked it was Glen Chorny, from American Jr., who's stacked the most with 1.38 million, and US American Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron is second with 1.37 million. In third right now is Londoner Robin Keston (1,148,000), and end of Day 3 chipleader Antonio Esfandiari has dropped to 5th with 1,072,000.

Sandwiched between Keston and Esfandiari is our favorite name left Stig Top Rasmussen (1,080,000), who hails from the land of hot chicks on bikes.

The nonsensically named Oyvind Riisem of Norway is just under the mil mark with 920,000.

In sixth is the WSOP Main Event champ from Australia "Salty" Joe Hachem (900,000), who with a win here, on top of his WSOP and WPT titles, would cement his status as a really, really good poker player.

Just three US Americans--Baron, Efandiari and Michael Martin--are left in the field, with hopes of making it a 3-peat at the EPT Grand Final for the Stars and Stripes.

Surprised busts today include CardRunner's Eric Lieu, half man, half amazing Freddy Deeb and Norwegian poker pro Johnny Lodden, who had been at or near the top of the chip count throughout the tournament.

Get live chip counts here.

For a "different sort of update" from the paupers of the poker press, go here.

We're not sure what the photo above of Sophie Monk looking sweaty hot has to do with this post. She's uh a native English speaker? She's looking sweaty hot? Yeh probably the latter. Anyway, you can see more of her by clicking the photo above and here.

EPT Grand Final: Day 3 Ends with Antonio Esfandiari on Top, 39 Players Remain

Day 3 at the PokerStars.com European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo has officially come to an end with 39 players remaining, and US American Antonio Esfandiari is magically the man with the most at the million chips mark (official chips counts not up yet). Starting Day 4 tomorrow with the second most chips is Robin Keston, from London, UK, and Norwegian Johnny Lodden, Hungarian Denes Kalo and Junior American Maxime Villemure round out the top five.

Of note, the EPT Grand Final may or may not have set a new tournament record today for the longest bubble in history, clocked at over 2 and a half hours. That's hand-for-hand play for more than 150 minutes, to use another time unit, just to lose one player, who turned out to be the pro that sometimes looks like a pirate to us, Surinder Sunar.

Watch the PokerStarsBlog's sensationally dramatic account of the lengthy bubble in the video below. Unrelatedly, check out Kate, the dealer chick the PokerListing's guys are digging in Monte Carlo, here. One of you guys close the deal yet?

Watch video above on YouTube here.

PokerNews.com reports here and PokerListings.com here.

UPDATE: PokerStars has posted the official chips counts going into Day 4 of the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo. Check it out here. Of the remaining 39 runners, 10 hail from U.S. America with only 3 from Norway, despite having 4 at the top of the count at the end of Day 2. Stig Top Rasmussen has the best name left in the field, with Oyvind Riisem still looking more like an arbitrary assortment of letters to us and not the name of some Norwegian.

EPT Grand Final: Antonio Esfandiari Magically Leads, Joe Hachem Gets 'Salty' with Woody Deck

The new World Poker Tour poster boy and leader of the long-forgotten "Magician Invasion" of 2005, Antonio Esfandiari is the current chipleader at the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo, where 50 or so players remain gunning for the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Stacked at 655,000, according to PokerNews.com, Esfandiari hasn't won a major event since Bush's first term in office, which either means the guy is due or has no chance to pull this off. Could go either way. Yes, we're feeling especially noncommital today after watching the Brittany Lee Hustler video. With our pants down.

In second right now is Peter Traply from Hungary, who's been gobbling up chips all day amassing 590,000 last we checked. Sitting in third, Norway's Johnny Lodden with 550,000.

Still in and feeling especially salty today is "Salty" Joe Hachem (195,000), who is looking to complete the poker tour trifecta here by adding an EPT win to his WSOP and WPT titles. Word from the floor is that Hachem, who earned his nickname from us because he's quick tempered and feisty, was quick tempered and feisty today when the unfortunately named Woody Deck accused him of angle shooting and called him an asshole. An enraged Hachem looked as if he was going to pummel the cocky Deck when Antonio Esfandiari hopped on over, in total Rocks & Rings style, to hold him back. PokerNews.com reporter TassieDevil has the scoop over in their live reports section. Try to find it here if you can, or scroll down or click another page or give up trying to find it 'cause the PNewsers don't have permalinks for their posts. Web 2.0 Tony G. Help a brother out.

Besides Esfandiari, the hopes of US America pulling off a third consecutive EPT Grand Final win rest in the hands of some decent players, a few who don't necessarily sound like they're from U.S. America, like Rami Boukai (469,000), Isaac Baron (410,000), Noah Siegel (260,000), David Shade Kruger (243,000), Michael Martin (240,000) and CardRunner's Eric Lieu (237,000).

Most recent big name bust was Sorel Mizzi who exits in 55th place for €25,200.

Chip counts here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Otis and the PokerStars gang here.

Norwegians Rule EPT Grand Final

Updating our earlier post on Day 2 risers at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final, the nonsensically named Oyvin Riisem continued to build his stack, ending play as chip leader with 441,400.

Oyvind is followed by three other Norwegian countrymates, Johnny Lodden (380,300), Borge Dypvik (296,000), and Andreas Hagen (276,800).

They must be putting something good in the North Atlantic water there, because aside from the renown abundance of smoking hot girls like Natassia Malthe (at right), Norway sounds like freaking heaven on Earth. At least according to Wikipedia it does:

Since World War II, Norway has experienced rapid economic growth, and is now amongst the wealthiest countries in the world,^[6][7][8] with a fully developed welfare system. This economic progress is caused in part by the development of oil and gas reserves off its coast. Norway was ranked highest of all countries in human development from 2001 to 2006, and tied in the first place with fellow Nordic country Iceland in 2007.^[9] It also rated the most peaceful country in the world in a 2007 survey by Global Peace Index.^[10] It is a founding member of NATO.

You probably get blowjobs when you walk off the plane too. And then they massage your back because, you know, blowjobs can cause a lot of tension.

In fifth overall is 2005 WSOP champ "Salty" Joe Hachem, stacked at 255,530. Some other big stacked big names include Sorel Mizzi (203,200), Freddy Deeb (153,300), Woody Deck (147,800), Stig Top Rasmussen (137,600), and Marcel Luske (128,700).

Get full chip counts from Poker News here.

PokerStars EPT Blog here.

More Natassia Malthe here.

EPT Grand Final Update: Johnny Lodden Not Rotten, Oyvin Riisem Rising, Joe Hachem Doing Well

Checking the current chip counts for Day 2 at the PokerStars EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo (photo, at right), it looks like Scandi poker ace Johny Lodden is leading the pack with 325,000 in chips trailing the nonsensically named Oyvin Riisem who has 385,000 in chips, with Lodden at 335,000.

In third is Haksoshj Yeiebdnam with 255,000. Actually, we just made that name up by typing random letters on our keyboard, which we're guessing is how half the players at the EPT Monte Carlo were named. Really in third is Andreas Hagen.

Of note, Joe Hachem is up over the 200k mark, and Woody Deck is proving to be stiff competition at the tables still with a sizeable stack of 145k.

Pros busted since we last posted include Josh Arieh, Chris Lee, Ryan Daut, Gus Hansen, Chad Brown, Peter Feldman, Victor Ramdin, Humberto Brenes, Barry Greenstein and Vanessa Rousso, a woman, who went to college at Duke, where she was educated at Duke.

On the really short, somewhat annoying, kinda weird but probably a nice guy US American amateur poker player front, EPT Copenhagen winner Tim Vance wasn't able to win another one for his daughter N-a-n-z-i.

Chip counts here.

PokerStars EPT Blog here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Below is a funny-if-your-poker-media video from the EPT crew, showing they have way too much time on their hands. Funny enough, when we saw the headline saying "Piechartgate" we thought it was some Euro dude's last name. Seems more plausible than Oyvin Riisem.

EPT video on YouTube here.

EPT Grand Final - Some Funny Sounding Names Remain

Day 2 play is underway at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final. Here's our leaderboard of funny sounding names:

Starting it off is the man who may have a club named after him ala Davidson Matthew and Temp Hutter... Woody Deck (123,000). Then Uffe Holm (108,875), the potentially Italian Beniamino Speroni (80,525), Klas Gustav Axel Arvidsson (four names!!!) (47,050), Stig Top Rasmussen (46,350), the extremely sexily named Trond Erik Eidsvig (44,525), Chad Brown (37,125), Walid Bou Habib (33,550), Fowzi Baroukh (30,325), Torbjorn Jonson (25,150), Metaal Govert (6175), and Ditspong Pinpramot (4750).

Find some of your favorites and get live reporting at Poker News here.

This Girl is Playing the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo

Alexia Portal, the cute, often naked-in-movies French actress from our "This Girl is Playing the EPT Dublin" and "This Girl is Playing the EPT Polish Open" posts, is playing the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo. Last we checked over at PokerNews.com, Portal was up above the hundy k mark with 104,400. The photo to the right of her is a grab from some foreigny interview she did last summer on Lake Mead with Fabrice Solier (view video here).

A quick update from Day 2 of the EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo . . .

Norwegian Johnny Lodden, the guy who reportedly got Trojan'd out of some serious euros, has the most chips right now at just over 200,000. Woody Deck is on the rise with 123k and some guy with 108k has the ridiculous first name Uffe.

Patrik Antonius, Juha Helppi, Vicky Coren, a woman, and Noah Boeken have all been eliminated on Day 2 of the EPT Grand Final.

Also gone today is Team PokerStars Daniel Negreanu, who was so confident he was going to win the tournament he already had shirts made celebrating his victory, or at least that's what he jokingly told the growing-on-us cute Kara Scott in the video below. Otis, or someone in MC, tell Kara the Entities say hello.

Watch video on YouTube here.

EPT Grand Final - Frenchman Cyril Bensoussan Takes Day 1B Chip Lead

As we walk around the Monte Carlo Bay Hotel & Resort* observing the action at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final, we couldn't help but think of all the things we'd rather be doing in Monte Carlo than covering a poker tournament.

Catch a game at the Louis II Stadium...take in a concert at Prince's Palace...get crunk at Jimmy'z...or chill out and reflect on life at the Sainte Devote Chapel.

But alas, we're stuck in the poker room.**

Leading Day 1B action is Cyril Bensoussan, who eats frog legs, with 130,000. Bensoussan has one major cash to his name at an EPT Prague No Limit Hold-em event. While we typically like to dump on the French, they do have possibly the hottest First Lady of all time right now in Carla Bruni (above). Bruni, who just auctioned off some nude photos of herself, reminds us that the French are at least good for thing: hot First Ladies.

Some big names that are still alive include Poker Stars team members Daniel Negreanu (36400), Chad Brown (35500), Joe Hachem (35400), and Vanessa Rousso (33500), as well as Gus Hansen (32000), Antonio Esfandiari (27350), and one of our favorite names in the field Stig Top Rasmussen (28000).

Get full chip counts from Poker News here.

* Or our house.
** Replace "poker room" with "living room."

EPT Monte Carlo Grand Final Underway, US Americans Seek 3-peat, Woody Deck Still In, Boris Becker, a Ginger, Gone

The 4th season of the PokerStars.com European Poker Tour is down to its crowning event, the EPT Grand Final, held along the banks of the Mediterranean in Monaco, the Principality that has given birth to hot royal-ers like Charlotte Casiraghi thanks to the extraordinary genes of Grace Kelly.

Action got underway yesterday at the Monte-Carlo Bay Hotel and Resort with 392 runners taking their seats on Day 1a of the €10,000 buy-in event. By night's end only 171 players still had chips to bag with Norway's Stephen Kjaerstad amassing the most, 111,200, followed by US American Chris "Genius28" Lee, (6,050) an uber-high-stakes online poker player who is not to be confused with this Chris Lee.

Ending up with the 3rd most was Norwegian Johnny Lodden, the Scandi poker ace who got Trojan'd out of a few hundred thousand euros, allegedly.

Some of the big names you may recognize and can pronounce making it to Day 2 include Shaun Deeb (84,375), Woody Deck (70,800), Sorel Mizzi (52,550), Mel Judah (47,450), Marcel Luske (46,375), Trond Erik Eidsvig (44,525), Luca Pagano (43,750),Nicolas Levi (43,250), Josh Arieh (38,500), Jason Mercier (35,375), Freddy Deeb (35,175), Thomas Wahlroos (34,500), Humberto Brenes (32,700), Anna Wroblewski (31,425), Thierry Van Der Berg (25,975), Peter Feldman (25,725), Bill Edler (22,250), Noah Boeken (18,250), Patrik Antonius (14,000) and Barry Greenstein (5,825).

Big name pros exiting on Day 1a include Phil Ivey, Greg Raymer, Erick Lindgren, Barny Boatman, Pascal Perrault, Jeffrey Lisandro, Ben Grundy, Tony G, David "El Blondie" Colclough, Tuan Lam, Julian Thew, Annette Obrestad, a woman, Katja Thater, also a woman, and Isabelle Mercier, also a woman.

Day 1b has been underway for several hours now with 450 runners starting today, bringing the total players in the field to a record 842, according to mathematicians. US America has the biggest contingency with 138 players looking to make it three EPT Grand Final titles in a row for the Red, White and Blue.

Like Day 1a, lots of big names are playing, are still in or have been eliminated. As the headline mentions, Boris Becker, a ginger, is done stealing souls at the EPT Grand Final, exiting early. We think Jordan Rich, also a ginger, is still in though, so watch your backs.

Get live reports of today's action in Monte Carlo from Otis and the PokerStarsBlog gang here and PokerListings 's Matthew Showell and Martin Derbyshire here.

Get yourself an escort in Monaco here.

Some senseless accolades from today and a video of Kara Scott, the Kimberly Lansing of the EPT, looking cute while doing her job after the jump: