Jean-Robert Bellande Owns Charles Barkley in HORSE

At the Bodog Life party at the Palms in Las Vegas last Friday night, Survivor: China's Jean-Robert Bellande took on Charles Barkley in a game of HORSE. Except Sir Charles didn't make much of a game of it. Unless the point of HORSE was to miss the rim...and backboard...by as much as you possibly can.

While Barkley was no Reggie Miller in his prime, he wasn't Ollie from Hoosiers chucking up granny balls either.

Whether or not Barkley can own Bellande in the poker version of H.O.R.S.E. remains to be seen, but given Chuck's rep around town, Jean-Robert probably doesn't have much to worry about.

Charles Barkley air balls in HORSE against Jean-Robert Bellande

2008 WSOP Update: The Year of The Pro(TM) Not Dead Yet

Well, it looks like it all comes down the the Main Event this year to determine if the 2008 WSOP will forever be known as The Year of the Pro^TM or as something else. Fortunately, as reader "Mike" pointed out here, the man who won the $10,000 PLO tournament, Marty Smith, is in fact an Irish pro, which definitely helps.

:: Event #52 ($1,500 No Limit Hold'em) - Pro poker player David Daneshgar took this one down, winning his first WSOP bracelet and banking $625,443. Daneshgar defeated Scott Sitron (not a pro), for the title. Ginger pro Dan Heimiller finished third. Get full results here.

:: Event #53 ($1,500 Limit Hold'em Shoot-out) - Survivor's Jean-Robert Bellande could've put away The Year of the Pro^TM race with a win, but he came up just short of his first bracelet. JRB lost heads-up to Matt Graham, who is arguably pro material with four cashes in this year's World Series of Poker. Graham banks $278,180 for the win. Get full payouts here.

Main Event starts tomorrow at noon PST. Check back with WickedChopsPoker.com for regular updates.

2008 WSOP Band of Bloggers: Get full recaps and payouts from WorldSeriesofPoker.com here. Get Dr. Pauly's take on WSOP happenings here. Please please don't forget Pokerati here. And get Poker Prof's recap and more photos here.

Jean-Robert Bellande Is Surviving the 2008 WSOP

Captain Obvious could see our headline above coming a mile away. Wow. Not creative.

Regardless, or as stupid people say, "irregardless," Jean-Robert Bellande has seen his stature in the poker world rise since his stint on Survivor. And while he admittedly is a bit down on his 2008 WSOP results, he's certainly not out of opinions on just about anything. Take it away, JRB.

VIDEO: Jean-Robert Bellande 2008 WSOP vlog

Jean-Robert Bellande on the $50,000 H.O.R.S.E. event
More RawVegas.tv 2008 WSOP vlogs

Kimberly Lansing Is Down with Wonder Woman

In a follow-up to an earlier post and an early front-runner for greatest poker news of 2008 so far, WCP fave Kimberly Lansing has lost a heads-up match against Survivor China's Jean-Robert Bellande (not to be confused with Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth). For the loss, Lansing may have to dress up like Wonder Woman (said Lansing: "I'm down with Wonder Woman") at an upcoming tournament...or Snow White...or something equally as awesome.

According to the Bodog Beat:

"The match was the result of some tough talk between the two about who was the better heads-up poker player. The bet was that the winner got to select an outfit for the other to wear. Bellande was apparently looking down the barrel of a Tinkerbell ensemble."

[shiver]

Nice work JRB on pulling this one out.

While the Wonder Woman outfit has not officially been decided as *the* outfit, it is up for consideration. You can vote for Kimberly's outfit via YouTube comments here, and we'll take suggestions in our comments section below too. Keep it clean. Keep it clean.

Kimberly Lansing vs. Jean-Robert Bellande video

Kimberly Lansing and Jean-Robert Bellande Go Heads Up at WPT LA Poker Classic

WCP fave Kimberly Lansing and new Bodog pro Jean-Robert Bellande, that guy with the French sounding name who was on Survivor China, are playing a heads-up match backstage at the WPT LA Poker Classic right now. On the line is a dose of humility with the winner getting to pick a costume for the other to wear at some future event.

Bellande is thinking Wonder Woman or Snow White for Lansing.

Lansing is thinking Tinker Bell for Bellande.

Please God, please let Bellande win. We promise we won't post anymore photos of hot Danish girls on bikes ever again. Today.

UPDATE: There is a God. Bellande won. Stay tune for some video of the match. In the meantime, any photoshop-ers out there with a Wonder Woman pic and some time to kill?

ANOTHER UPDATE: After the jump, a video of Jean-Robert Bellande giving his prediction for NBC Heads-Up this week.

More Kimberly Lansing:
Kimberly Lansing video interview
Kimberly Lansing in Turks and Caicos, whose capital is Cockburn Town
Kimberly Lansing is fun to watch

WPT LAPC: Singer, Esfandiari, and Wroblewski (a Woman), Day 1 Chip Leaders, Vinnie Vinh + Jerry Yang Out...Will We Ever Hear from Them Again?

Day 1 of the 2008 WPT LAPC ended with 450 of the original 665 players remaining. Hats off to the WPT for keeping all numbers divisible by "5" this year. As faithful readers of this site know, we hate math, so the more that numbers can be dumbed-down for us the better.

Some big names top the leaderboard. The unofficial* chip count leader at the end of Day 1 is David Singer, stacked at 137,400. He's followed by Antonio Esfandiari, who is stepping up after being named the new face of the WPT. Antonio brings 119,000 to Day 2 play. At third overall is Anna Wroblewski, a woman, with 116,550.

So many big names remain it would take a much more boring site that actually cares about listing them all to list them all, but some highlights include: Justin Bonomo (77,125), Action Dan Harrington (72,500), Montel Williams (59,000), David Williams (57,000), Phil Hellmuth (49,575), Johnny Chan (44,925), Phil Ivey (44,025), Vanessa Rousso who went to Duke (44,000), the insufferably annoying Humberto Brenes (40,300), star of Meerkat Manor Jeff Madsen (39,000), Todd Brunson (38,000), Lakers owner Jerry H. Buss (37,700), Survivor China's Jean-Robert Bellande (34,000), Mike Sexton (33,000), 2007 NBC Heads-Up champ Paul Wasicka (31,875), and that should be more than enough for now.

Not making it to Day 2 include Vinnie Vinh, Vinnie Vinh's chair, Jerry Yang (apparently he wasn't praying hard enough this time), and Obama '08 supporter Daniel Negreanu. Question, would Daniel support celeb favorite Bam Obama if he knew the Presidential hopeful was not only swiping words from Deval Patrick, but was also plagiarizing Rocky Balboa?

And finally, not making an appearance at this year's LAPC is Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth, as Shannon Elizabeth is busy getting in super-hot shape for Dancing with the Stars.

Get full chip counts and reporting from the fantastic WPT website.

* Official.

WPT LA Poker Classic: Vinnie Vinh Still Alive, Glum Girl is Here, Benyamine Looking Slim(mer), Negreanu Backing Barack

So we made it to the Commerce today after a night of relatively moderate bedlam that kicked off at the Library Alehouse in Santa Monica and somehow ended up with us at a Laurel Canyon mansion this morning with a group of Venice Beach trust fund hippies who graffiti'd are SUV rental with Obama stickers.

We'll save that story however for our forthcoming 4-part series entitled "How We Spent the Friday Night Before the WPT LA Poker Classic."

For now, the word from the Commerce is that the action got underway almost 3 5 7 plus hours ago and we're finally getting around to writing something and we don't have much to say besides that pretty much every poker player you know this side of the Atlantic is here including Phil Hellmuth, Phil Ivey, Jamie Gold, John Phan, Carlos Mortensen, Are You Really Reading this List?, Paul Wasicka, Vannessa "Went to Duke" Rousso, Grover Cleveland, Layne Flack, Phil Laak, Josh Arieh, Rhahaeid Skaoodo, David Plastik, Barry Greenstein, Dan Harrington, Erick Lindgren, Mother Teresa, Eric Mizrachi, Scott Clements, Haralabos Voulgaris, Still Reading This?, David Williams, Freddy Deeb, We Wonder What We Should Eat for Dinner, Gavin Smith, David Singer, Lee Watkinson, Perhaps We'll Go to Panchos Tonight, Tom Schneider, Mark Seif, This Is Getting Tiring, Chau Giang, Tim Phan and Erick Seidel.

In total, 665 players started today, down considerably from last year's 791, and the total prize pool is $6,374,400, with first place set to take home $1,596,100. In 2007, Eric Hershler walked away with $2,429,970.

Of note . . .

As Poker World Continues to Mourn the Loss of Jean-Robert Bellande on Survivor, Meaningless WPT Foxwoods World Poker Finals Continues

While the elimination of Jean-Robert Bellande from Survivor: China continued to weigh heavy on the minds of every single poker player on the planet, the WPT Foxwoods World Poker Finals managed to buckle-down and move on...somehow.

While fans held a round-the-clock candlelight vigil outside the casino,* 23 year-old Internet pro Matt “mattg1983” Graham stormed to the chip lead, ending Day 2 play stacked at 587,300. This lead to rampant speculation inside the Wicked Chops offices on how one day, an Internet pro will have an unprintable or super embarrassing handle, like "Big Dick McGhee," "deeznutzinurmouth," or "punechaser" that the WPT will be forced not to include in their updates.**

Graham is trailed by half-man, half-amazing Freddy Deeb with 451,900.

Other notable big stacks include Victor Ramdin (316,000), Nick Schulman (307,900), Justin Bonomo (271,400), T.J. Cloutier (249,300), and Darrell "Deep" Dicken (218,800).

Get full chip counts here. For Jean-Robert's final words...sniff...here.

* Unconfirmed.

** Also unconfirmed...or actually completely unsourced.

Jean-Robert Bellande Does Not Survive Survivor

In what is shaping up as possibly our last post ever about Jean-Robert Bellande, Jean-Robert Bellande, that kind of obnoxious poker player with the French sounding name who is on Survivor: China right now, is no longer on Survivor: China right now.

Bellande was voted off tonight, losing a close tribal council to James, an African-U.S.-American.

Multiple castmates commented on how they were simply, "sick of hearing him talking." Art imitating life? Or life...imitating...life.

Read the recap here.

Jean-Robert Bellande Has Up and Down Day at WPT North American Poker Championship

Like a roller coaster or some other metaphor that symbolizes having an up and down day, Jean-Robert Bellande, that kind of obnoxious poker player with the French sounding name who is on Survivor: China right now, had a roller coaster day.

Starting Day 2A as chip leader with over 200k, Bellande's stack diminished down to around 60k. He eventually rebounded back to 214k by day's end. We're pretty sure something got cracked or someone called his bluff or sucked out on him for that swing to have happened. Whatever.

Bellande trials chip leader Kofi Farkye, who is stacked at 404,900. Second overall is Joe Cassidy with 330,500.

Of the 79 remaining, notable names include Dale Pinchot (255,000), Lee Markholt Jr. (239,100), Scott Freeman (215,000), star of Meerkat Manor Jeff Madsen (213,200), Scott Clements who will fucking kill you (205,900), Nordberg! (175,500), Bill Edler (167,800), David Singer (148,500), Jonathan Little (143,900), the spectacularly-breasted JC Tran (at right, 142,200), Allen Cunningham (131,800), Nick Schulman (128,200), Tuan Lam (108,300), Jen McCarten, a woman (99,700), and Barry Greenstein (67,900).

Get full chip counts here.

* Photo Source: LaylaKayleigh.com

Jean-Robert Bellande, That Kind of Obnoxious Poker Player with the French Sounding Name Who Is On Survivor, Leads WPT North American Poker Championship

If we had been watching Survivor: China, we'd be very aware of the fact that poker player Jean-Robert (pronounced Roe-bear, so gay) Bellande was doing what he seems to do best: annoy people.

But unfortunately we lost all interest in Survivor like six years ago, and lost even more interest recently when Survivor's first pick for a poker player, Daniel Negreanu, decided against it, and then lost even more interest because this anorexic Courtney chick keeps popping up in all of the scenes this season. Skinny chicks are cool. Super-skinny chicks are creepy as hell. It's like, she had a good idea, "Hey, I want to be skinny," but then she took it too far. She needs to refocus her efforts on more productive obsessions, like blowjobs.

Anyway, according to the WPT tourney reports (on the excellently redone WPT website), Bellande has been regaling his table with his Survivor exploits during the WPT North American Poker Championship. Says Bellande:

"Every girl in camp was annoyed with me and I didn't care."

This remains consistent with what we read on a Surivivor episode recap:

Arriving at the private retreat, Fei Long squeals with excitement as tea and snacks are laid before them. Immersing their exhausted bodies into steaming bathtubs of clean water, Courtney is careful to distance herself from Jean-Robert in order to fully enjoy her break from the game. "He took the [tub] on the far end; I took the [tub] on the other far end. Every single part of me wants to see Jean-Robert go. I just don’t like him, he’s a horrible person."

So he may be horrible, annoying, and have a French-sounding name, but he's riding high as Day 1C and overall chip leader, stacked just above 200,000.

Play resume tomorrow at noon EST, when Day 1A "Survivors" (led by Jonathan Little at 164,000) and Day 1B "Survivors" (led by Marc Karam at 126,200) all come together.

Get full chip counts here.

Jean-Robert Bellande, That Kind of Obnoxious Poker Player with the French Sounding Name, Stars In Survivor: China Tonight

We didn't even know Survivor was still on TV. But apparently it is and it's still a ratings powerhouse. Guess we need to lay off the meth, midgets, and general bedlam that ensues whenever we go places and keep our finger more on the pop culture pulse.

We do, however, have some reason to watch Survivor: 15 as it features professional poker player Jean-Robert Bellande, the guy from Long Island with the froggy name.

You probably best remember Jean-Robert from his final table appearance at the WSOP Circuit event at the Rio in 2005, when he finished third behind Jennifer Harman, a woman, and Doug Lee. Bellande has over $739k in career tournament earnings.

How will Bellande do? Hard to say. Poker playing Boston Rob once co-won the million bucks, so that's a good sign. And Bellande both looks and seems cunningly conniving like a non-gay Richard Hatch, so that's good too. Can New Live Planet Bodog Life World Lifestyle get some odds up on this?