"Salty" Joe Hachem Particularly Salty on Tonight's WSOP Main Event Broadcast

"Salty" Joe Hachem was in rare typical form on ESPN, similar to his 2006 WSOP performance above.

Hat's off to ESPN for continuing to show poker players in a little more honest light this year.

The most recent case in point is spotlighting "Salty" Joe Hachem being especially salty on Day 1C of the 2008 World Series of Poker.

So here's what we're looking for...if one of our readers can put together a compilation of Salty Joe's saltiest moments and upload it to YouTube, we'll ship you a Wicked Chops tee. Easy enough. Have at it.

Another Ill-Conceived Poker Movie to Hit the Big Screen...Seriously

"Salty" Joe Hachem is among the stars in an upcoming poker documentary. Behind him, Vaughn Sandman predicts how many screens the movie will open on.

Hollywood isn't a hard one to figure out. If a movie is successful, you make more like it. Or you make sequels. Deep Impact (great name for a porno) begets Armageddon. Dante's Peak begets Volcano. The Mummy begets another Mummy. Pluto Nash does not beget Pluto Nash Forever.

So why, exactly, are more poker movies being made?

No matter. For those who haven't gotten their fill from Lucky You, The Grand, that shitty Stu Ungar flick, and Deal, here comes Pass the Sugar...a documentary on the final nine from the 2005 WSOP Main Event.

"Pass the sugar," btw, is the phrase that 2005 champ "Salty" Joe Hachem would say after winning pots. Which means after David "Chino" Rheem inevitably wins the 2008 WSOP Main Event, expect a docu called "Ship It" to hit the screens sometime in 2011.

Anyway we're bored writing about this already, so read more about this sure-fire blockbuster that is certain to put Brad Kondracki back on the map here.

In related news, in case you missed it yesterday, poker-themed Vegas shows are also not learning the same lesson.

"Salty" Joe Hachem Can Rub Off On People

Apparently, "Salty" Joe Hachem has some sort of osmosis effect on people he sits next to at the World Series of Poker. That's a lot of salt at one table.

2008 WSOP Update: Shorr, Seidel and Hachem Among Leaders on Day 1 of Event No. 43

Shannon Shorr (above photo, on right) is among the Day 1 leaders in the $1,500 buy-in Omaha Hi-Low event at the 2008 WSOP.

A total of 720 runners entered Event No. 43, the $1,500 buy-in Pot-Limit Omaha Hi-low Split-8 or Better event, today, bringing the prize pool to just under a mil with first getting $216,249, or about $70k less than what you could fetch Phil Ivey's old SLR for on eBay.

Last we looked there were 82 players remaining and one good-from-afar-but-far-from-good girl on the rail. Really, photo-worthy railbirds have been slim to none the past few days. Let's step it up ladies. We have a site to run.

Current chip leaders just before midnight include Erik Seidel, who's gunning for his first bracelet of this year's WSOP, Joe Hachem, who just might be the next Joe Hachem, compulsive WSOP casher Berry Johnston, and the guy with the girl's name Shannon Shorr. Layne Flack and his teeth are also making a move up the leader board late tonight just got eliminated.

Stacked the most right now is the generically-named Ed Smith, who has quietly amassed around $270k in WSOP earnings over the years.

Keep track of chip counts here.

Check out WSOP daily video recaps over at PokerListings.

Hot girls in the WCP forum here.

* Despite the overall lack of talent along the rail lately, the girl below was seen over the weekend and from all accounts is one of the hottest yet. Hopefully she returns because our photog was drunker than a peach orchard boar, whatever that means, when he snapped the shots below.

Joe Hachem Could Be the Next Joe Hachem

We don't know Australian that well, but our friends who speak it say the below video of 2005 WSOP Main Event champ Joe Hachem includes a pretty funny anecdote about a cab ride he had over to the WSOP today. Watch it below or over on RawVegas.tv here.

Why J.C. Tran Has Spectacular Breasts and Explaining Some Other Nicknames

So over the past few days we've been asked on a number of occasions why we refer to J.C. Tran as the "spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran" (above) as well as "What's up with 'Salty' Joe Hachem?" and "Hey is Lorenzo Lamas really in the Seven Card Stud Championship?"

With a bunch of new readers during WSOP time (and many more non-traditional as we welcome withleather.com, the Beer Goggler, NY Times Freakonomics blog, SportsbyBrooks, Rock 107, Drunken Stepfather, and errr, Google)

Here's the where/why breakdown on some of our favorite nicknames and general Cliff Notes on the WCP lexicon.

:: The spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran - Flash back to May of last year. Nobody on the poker circuit was hotter than J.C. Tran. In fact, here's what we said when we first introduced the world to J.C. spectacular breasts:

"Nobody's breasts are hotter right now. We think it should be fairly easy for us all to agree upon this fact, give or take a Keeley Hazell. His breasts strike fear in the hearts of men. When his breasts sit at a poker table, everyone stares. His breasts mesmerize."

Fortunately for us, J.C. kept kicking ass, which meant we got to keep putting up pics of girls with spectacular breasts in our posts. So really, J.C. Tran should be your favorite poker player, because he's personally responsible for about 25% of the killer racks you see on our site.

::  "Salty" Joe Hachem - Flash back to the 2006 WSOP. A media event was held the day before the Main Event started featuring Curtis Hanson and Drew Berrymore (pimping the worst poker movie ever, Lucky You), and the previous year's WSOP winner, Joe Hachem. A so-called "media" member in the audience asked Hachem a question about qualifying for the Main Event online through Poker Stars. Hachem didn't hesitate to pop off on the guy for no reason, essentially telling him to, "Get your facts straight. I did not qualify online I bought my way in." So Entity Chops turned to Entities The Addict and Snake and said something to the effect of, "Man, that guy is salty..." And from then on we just ran with it. Fortunately the heavens really aligned on this one, from the perfect peppery hair to the fact that "Salty" Joe has gone salty on multiple occassions in major tournaments.

:: The Intense Stare of Scott Clements - Comes solely from this and this (and this) photo. That's some scary shit.

:: Chad/Brown Lorenzo Lamas - Seriously, look at this post. The similarity between Chad Brown and Lorenzo Lamas is uncanny. It probably actually is Lorenzo Lamas and we just blew his cover. Lorenzo probably hates us for that. At least he can still pull nice tail, as his fiance Vanessa Rousso isn't a bad score, even if she did go to Duke.

:: The Davidson Matthew Club - Favorites time-all our of one. Winners predicting accurately us of trend a began it because just not and. Backwards post entire an (read to have you and) write can we, last a for and first a for name last a with guy a have you whenever because.

One Week Until 2008 WSOP + We're Off Memorial Day Weekend

Barring some crazy breaking story, Wicked Chops Poker will be off Memorial Day Weekend. With the 2008 World Series of Poker just a week away (meaning six straight weeks of unrelenting poker coverage), and 2/3 of the Entities in Ireland right now, and 1/3 of the Entities staggering drunk for three-days, let's be honest, not much is going to get done.

But to get in the mindset for the 2008 WSOP, here's some recommended reading from WCP coverage of WSOP's past.

2005 WSOP
Before going down on Dancing with the Stars' Derek Hough, Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth went down in four-way action.
Wily Brit Barry Baskin smelled like shit.
Whatever happened to Johnny Rockets from Daytona? That guy seemed to have the total package.
Brad Garrett was urinating and so dork had an Elmo head.
The longest massage ever?
Some dude got real creepy around Greg Raymer.
Tiffany Williamson...that bitch is crazy!

2006 WSOP
Where to even begin? How about some Card Player Like You Were There Moments (TM) here here here here here here and here.
Phil Hellmuth wins a then record-tying 10th bracelet.
Clearly us at our absolute most bedlam ensuing.
Some chick played in a nun outfit which probably blew Gank's mind.
The Milwaukee's Best Light girls need to make a comeback.
Somebody told us that Bill Gates has a regular call girl he sees in France.
Our Sweats did OK in Day 1B.
Mean people applauded when Doyle Brunson busted.
Our mutual love-affair with Anna Benson began.
Joanna Krupa (above) officially became the hottest girl to ever play the WSOP.
Some more hot girls from the 2006 WSOP.
Vaughn Sandman (where ya been, bud?) absolutely toys with "Salty" Joe Hachem.
We were the first to introduce the world to Jamie Gold.
And we were the only ones to get a pic with Jamie Gold and Crispin "Don't Call Me Bruce" Leyser.

Native English-Speaking Countries Lead at EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo

It's the middle of Day 4 at the European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo, Monaco, and they're down to just 15 players battling for one of the 8 spots at the final table and a chance at the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Last we looked it was Glen Chorny, from American Jr., who's stacked the most with 1.38 million, and US American Isaac "westmenloAA" Baron is second with 1.37 million. In third right now is Londoner Robin Keston (1,148,000), and end of Day 3 chipleader Antonio Esfandiari has dropped to 5th with 1,072,000.

Sandwiched between Keston and Esfandiari is our favorite name left Stig Top Rasmussen (1,080,000), who hails from the land of hot chicks on bikes.

The nonsensically named Oyvind Riisem of Norway is just under the mil mark with 920,000.

In sixth is the WSOP Main Event champ from Australia "Salty" Joe Hachem (900,000), who with a win here, on top of his WSOP and WPT titles, would cement his status as a really, really good poker player.

Just three US Americans--Baron, Efandiari and Michael Martin--are left in the field, with hopes of making it a 3-peat at the EPT Grand Final for the Stars and Stripes.

Surprised busts today include CardRunner's Eric Lieu, half man, half amazing Freddy Deeb and Norwegian poker pro Johnny Lodden, who had been at or near the top of the chip count throughout the tournament.

Get live chip counts here.

For a "different sort of update" from the paupers of the poker press, go here.

We're not sure what the photo above of Sophie Monk looking sweaty hot has to do with this post. She's uh a native English speaker? She's looking sweaty hot? Yeh probably the latter. Anyway, you can see more of her by clicking the photo above and here.

EPT Grand Final: Antonio Esfandiari Magically Leads, Joe Hachem Gets 'Salty' with Woody Deck

The new World Poker Tour poster boy and leader of the long-forgotten "Magician Invasion" of 2005, Antonio Esfandiari is the current chipleader at the PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final in Monte Carlo, where 50 or so players remain gunning for the €2,020,000 first place prize.

Stacked at 655,000, according to PokerNews.com, Esfandiari hasn't won a major event since Bush's first term in office, which either means the guy is due or has no chance to pull this off. Could go either way. Yes, we're feeling especially noncommital today after watching the Brittany Lee Hustler video. With our pants down.

In second right now is Peter Traply from Hungary, who's been gobbling up chips all day amassing 590,000 last we checked. Sitting in third, Norway's Johnny Lodden with 550,000.

Still in and feeling especially salty today is "Salty" Joe Hachem (195,000), who is looking to complete the poker tour trifecta here by adding an EPT win to his WSOP and WPT titles. Word from the floor is that Hachem, who earned his nickname from us because he's quick tempered and feisty, was quick tempered and feisty today when the unfortunately named Woody Deck accused him of angle shooting and called him an asshole. An enraged Hachem looked as if he was going to pummel the cocky Deck when Antonio Esfandiari hopped on over, in total Rocks & Rings style, to hold him back. PokerNews.com reporter TassieDevil has the scoop over in their live reports section. Try to find it here if you can, or scroll down or click another page or give up trying to find it 'cause the PNewsers don't have permalinks for their posts. Web 2.0 Tony G. Help a brother out.

Besides Esfandiari, the hopes of US America pulling off a third consecutive EPT Grand Final win rest in the hands of some decent players, a few who don't necessarily sound like they're from U.S. America, like Rami Boukai (469,000), Isaac Baron (410,000), Noah Siegel (260,000), David Shade Kruger (243,000), Michael Martin (240,000) and CardRunner's Eric Lieu (237,000).

Most recent big name bust was Sorel Mizzi who exits in 55th place for €25,200.

Chip counts here.

The Matt and Martin Show here.

Otis and the PokerStars gang here.

Norwegians Rule EPT Grand Final

Updating our earlier post on Day 2 risers at the 2008 PokerStars.com EPT Grand Final, the nonsensically named Oyvin Riisem continued to build his stack, ending play as chip leader with 441,400.

Oyvind is followed by three other Norwegian countrymates, Johnny Lodden (380,300), Borge Dypvik (296,000), and Andreas Hagen (276,800).

They must be putting something good in the North Atlantic water there, because aside from the renown abundance of smoking hot girls like Natassia Malthe (at right), Norway sounds like freaking heaven on Earth. At least according to Wikipedia it does:

Since World War II, Norway has experienced rapid economic growth, and is now amongst the wealthiest countries in the world,^[6][7][8] with a fully developed welfare system. This economic progress is caused in part by the development of oil and gas reserves off its coast. Norway was ranked highest of all countries in human development from 2001 to 2006, and tied in the first place with fellow Nordic country Iceland in 2007.^[9] It also rated the most peaceful country in the world in a 2007 survey by Global Peace Index.^[10] It is a founding member of NATO.

You probably get blowjobs when you walk off the plane too. And then they massage your back because, you know, blowjobs can cause a lot of tension.

In fifth overall is 2005 WSOP champ "Salty" Joe Hachem, stacked at 255,530. Some other big stacked big names include Sorel Mizzi (203,200), Freddy Deeb (153,300), Woody Deck (147,800), Stig Top Rasmussen (137,600), and Marcel Luske (128,700).

Get full chip counts from Poker News here.

PokerStars EPT Blog here.

More Natassia Malthe here.

The Wicked Chops Poker Awards - Part II

Yesterday we introduced the first part of the possibly first annual Wicked Chops Poker Awards. As promised, today = Part II (which is so important we use Roman numerals instead of just the number "2").

Best Breasts in Poker: J.C. Tran. Listen, we have no idea where the "J.C. Tran has spectacular breasts..." thing came from. Couldn't think of anything else to say about the guy and it randomly popped up and the rest is history. Having said that, look at J.C. Tran's spectacular breasts (at right). Those are without one single doubt the best breasts in poker. Yes, Lacey Jones is the hottest girl in poker, but have you seen J.C.'s breasts? How can you even make an argument that someone has better breasts? You can't. It'd be like arguing against Lionel Hutz. You're winning that one every time, son.

Worst Name of a Potential Cellmate if You're Sent to Prison: Hoyt Corkins. The thought of being "hoyt corkin'd" is utterly terrifying.

Best 2+2 Thread of All-Time: The Sklansky/Hawbaker Dramabomb. It was bound to happen. Rumors swirled about some kind of Sklansky/Hawbaker relationship at last year's WSOP (watch the Brandi Hawbaker interview about it). Then it died down. Went away. Then in late February it just blew the f' up (read the 2+2 thread here), culminating in 2+2 banning any known Brandi Hawbaker associates (and the NWP crew) and Sklansky "alluding" to throwing acid on Brandi's face. This one had it all. In fact, we feel safe in saying that we may never see a poker forum thread involving a 60 year-old dude who keeps a vibrator in his glove compartment and hints at throwing acid on a hot girl's face again. Probably.

Best Neverwin Poker Thread: Justin Smith Rolls Bryan Micon. The sheer creativity in this one wins out over the never-ending supply of messed up NWP threads. After Bryan "King of the Degenerates" Micon got rolled for about $12k by Justin Smith, he turned the fuck-you-machine on full-throttle. Micon wouldn't rest until he got paid back. Be it recording countless phone conversation and putting them online, or releasing one digit of Justin Smith's SSN every hour until he got paid back, this one was constant entertainment. Watch Micon's RawVegas.tv interview on the pwning here.

"Salty" Joe Hachem Turned Down Dancing with the Stars

As many of our faithful site readers may have figured out over the past few weeks, Shannon Elizabeth is on this season's Dancing with the Stars.

However, what you may NOT have known is that 2005 WSOP of Poker Main Event champ "Salty" Joe Hachem was invited to be on the popular show but turned it down.

In a recent 2+2 forum post, 2004 WSOP Main Event champ Greg Raymer wrote:

"...Joe Hachem was previously invited to be on the show, but declined, because he would have had to stay in the U.S. for the entire 2-3 month period of the show."

Well, if DWtS had some sort of "poker player quota" they were looking to fill this year, well done in getting Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth to do so. We like Hachem and all, but Shannon legs can keep a grown man up at night. Dudes used to go to war over gams like that (gams at right).

Read Greg Raymer's full post
Joe Hachem confirming he's not Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib
Shannon Elizabeth Nude for PETA
More on Dancing with the Stars' Shannon Elizabeth
Newly launched WickedChopsDancingwiththeStars.com
Our DWtS Google Page Rank (#2 baby!)

2008 National Heads-Up Poker Championship: Joe Hachem Confirms He's Not Adnan Ghalib

What the hell, maybe a few more.

In this one, "Salty" Joe Hachem does in fact confirm that he's not only NOT Adnan Ghalib, but he's not even related. Whatevs.

Joe Hachem NBC National Heads-Up Poker Championship video