Well, Well, Well, Look Who's At It Again...

Keeley Hazell decides to try something new this time and do a photo shoot topless.

Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006-2007 (and 2008?), Keeley Hazell, has decided to shake things up a bit in her latest photo shoot and go topless.

And this is a good one. Somewhere on one of those off-ramps of the Information Superhighway^TM, the spectacularly-breasted J.C. Tran is thinking to himself right now, "Daaag, I can't compete with THAT."

One thing we find interesting with Hazell is that she disproves the old adage that women get less attractive with age. If anything, it seems like Keeley has gotten MORE attractive from the ages of 19 to 22. Truly amazing. What's the secret?

See the whole NSFW Keeley Hazell topless spread here.

Liz Lieu Has Thick (Soft, Sexy) Skin, Wants You To Be Nice

Look who showed up when we went to Liz Lieu's website today.

One of our favorite poker playing hotties Liz Lieu has been blogging over at PokerListings lately, and in her post today, Lieu talks about the pros and cons of blogging, namely the kind of comments people leave.

Seems that she's been getting some unpleasant ones lately. Explains Lieu:

"Playing poker, you have to have a pretty thick skin if you are going to survive, and I think I handle the pressures of the felt as good as anyone.

I'm not sure why it is, but personal attacks on this blog in the comments are different. I don't mind anyone disagreeing with me, giving me a better idea, or debating me. It's just the personal things that I think are inappropriate that I find quite annoying!"

Read the entire post here.

Anyway, we're not sure why we're sharing this with you except to say we've been having a blast with this Keeley Hazell RSS widget thing. The fun's endless. Just look who appeared on our screen when we were over at Liz Lieu's website a second ago. Not one but two Keeley Hazells. Really, you could make a whole day out of this Keeley Hazell widget. We are.

Okay, read Liz Lieu's PokerListings blog here and tell her Wicked Chops Poker sent you. And be nice.

While you're at it, click the Lacey Jones PokerListings banner on our site to read her blog. And for poker room reviews and bonuses go here.

Liz Lieu's WCP Girl on Girl interview here.

Keeley Hazell Behind the Scenes Video Makes for a Good Post

Curious how The Sun made the whole Keeley Hazell RSS widget thingamajig or just want to see more of her prancing around in various states of half-naked-ness? Check out the behind-the-scenes video below.

Also, as your day begins to waste away at this point, check out Vikki Blows' Hell for Leather video.

Don't make us do all the hard work finding this stuff. Share your finds on the so-called "Internet" in the new WCP forum. If we use it on the site, we'll give you the credit and maybe even send some free stuff your way like a new Wicked Chops tee or Skullcandy headphones and gear.

Keeley Hazell RSS Widget . . . Greatest Invention Ever?

Desktop Keeley coming out to play on our computer screen.

Proving once again that all advances in technology are designed primarily to serve our prurient interests, The Sun (the UK newspaper that gives us Page 3 girls) has just introduced a new RSS widget called Desktop Keeley that has everyone's favorite 32E top-dropper appearing on your computer screen periodically to deliver the news while walking around in various states of half-naked-ness.

You can set the frequency of how often Keeley Hazell appears to deliver the latest feed or you can screw the news and just click "Come Out to Play" whenever you want. Over and over. And over. And over.

Take a guess at what we've been doing.

Here's how The Sun bills Desktop Keeley:

"Dressed in a stunning range of lingerie, Keeley will be at your beck and call 24/7 and comes armed with all the information you need, whether it's celeb's drunken antics, the latest football transfer news or the Page 3 girl of the day.

You decide how often she appears and can choose from a wide range of topics with just a few clicks of your mouse."

Give it a spin . . . download Desktop Keeley for free here.

Watch a video of Keeley on our desktop telling us to "get back to work" below. Screen grabs after the jump here.

Keeley Hazell looking her hottest ever here,

Our favorite poker playing Page 3 girl here.

Kelley Hazell in Maxim France Will Please You

Hottest non-naked photo of Keeley Hazell ever?

As one of our readers bitched earlier today in a comment, "so much poker bs, so little Keeley Hazell." And despite how much we loath people bitching to us, we have to agree.

Honestly, our searches for new Keeley Hazell photo spreads have been coming up dry lately and we've just been waiting for her to get off her perfectly fine ass and do a new photo shoot. And what do you know, we found a new one this morning. Yep, it's our favorite top-dropper in the July issue of Maxim France and she's looking hotter than ever. Check out one more semi-SFW shot of Keeley after the jump and the good stuff here (NSFW) and here (NSFW).

Keeley Hazell Will Be A No Show in Our Hotel Room Tonight

We mentioned earlier today that our favorite top-dropper Keeley Hazell was getting a tad prudish lately and wasn't as prolific as she used to be in dropping the top for men's magazines. And what do you know . . . seconds later we come across a brand spanking new topless photo spread of Keeley in the June issue of Nuts magazine.

It's kind of like the time we reported there was nothing interesting happening in the poker world and then moments later the Fristian facists pulled a Pearl Harbor job by sneaking the UIGEA into the Port Security Bill.

Say one thing, and the exact opposite happens. So . . . we're gonna try our luck with the headline above and hope for the best.

Click photos of Keeley Hazell below for their hi-res, much larger NSFW counterparts.

Keeley Hazell Is Not Playing in the WSOP-C Harrah's New Orleans

No need to beat a dead horse, but the WSOP-C events aren't what they used to be. Smaller fields, buy-ins, pay-outs, and star quality.

So while Keeley Hazell participating in one would certainly give WSOP-C events, like the one going on at Harrah's New Orleans right now, a Gamma-O shot in the arm, for now, we'll have to live with the latest pics of her in a bikini and not on the felt.

Which is actually preferrable.

A respectable 249 runners ponied up the $5k entry for this one, and a few hours into Day 2 only 36 remain. Scanning through the leaderboard, the only name that jumps out is Jonathan Little, stacked at 65,000. He trails chip leader Chuck Keeley Kelley (168,000) and Timothy Miles (155,000).

Get full chip counts and live blogging from Poker News here.

* Thanks to reader shakespear1993 for the new Keely Hazell pics here, here, and here.

Keeley Hazell Not Naked, in Clothes Again

Move along. There is nothing to see here. Yep, our favorite top dropper Keeley Hazell is wearing clothes again, this time at some Rock Band Bowling Evening event. We've seen Keeley covering up the good stuff lately and we're just hoping this isn't a trend. Because Keeley didn't get to be our Official WCP Girl for the last three years by wearing high-waisted jeans. No she earned that distinction by doing this, this, this and this. And this, this, this, this and this. And this. And this.

Keeley Hazell BBC Bikini Photoshoot Video Makes for a Good Post

We didn't have any luck finding a photo of Kathleen Hennessey, but we did find the below video of Keeley Hazell doing some bikini photoshoot on BBC Three in the UK while we were painfully live blogging the WSOP media conference call. So we have that going for us.

We don't really watch Keeley Hazell videos with the volume up, it ruins our focus, especially if she's singing, so we're not quite sure what's up with the photograher dude talking and the young blonde girl with the sort of pudgy face and boobs just kind of staring at Keeley the whole time. Was this some sort of Make a Wish thing for her? If so, we wish her well, and we're glad she lived long enough to see what perfect 32Es look like in person.

Watch the video after the jump . . .

Keeley Hazell is a Singer, Releases "Voyeur" Music Video

Our favorite top-dropper Keeley Hazell is branching out from showing off her perfectly massive natural 32Es in one photo spread after another to showing off her perfectly massive natural 32Es while singing in music videos.

Yep, the British hottie who has been the official Wicked Chops Poker Girl for 3 years running now just released a one-minute music video tease for her new single "Voyeur" (full video available for download May 2), and it's 60 seconds of pure Keeley Hazell goodness as she prances around in barely-there lingerie, works her way around a stripper pole and dances in front of two other half-naked chicks on a bed.

If you're curious if the song is any good or if Keeley Hazell can actually sing, then re-read the sentence above about Keeley in lingerie, a stripper pole and two other chicks and ask yourself if you really care. If you answer yes, go here.

Watch the video:



Keeley Hazell "Voyeur" music video

Remember when Keeley Hazell wasn't doing the singing but just "doing" the pop stars who sang? Relive those days below:

Keeley Hazell as Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Simpson
Keeley Hazell as Madonna
Keeley Hazell as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera

Keeley Hazell 2008 Calendar Bikini Photo Outtake Makes for a Good Post

The bikini-busting photo of Keeley Hazell you're about to see after the jump doesn't require much set up except to say that it just might be the hottest photo we've seen of Keeley in awhile (or at least a few days) and somehow it didn't make the cut for one of the numerous calendars she did for 2008.

Yes, as we mentioned before, the girl's prolific.

Click "continue" below for the full pic in all its glory, and for other great moments in Keeley Hazell busting out of a bikini history go here, here, here, here and here.

The Wicked Chops Poker Awards - Part III

As promised, the last part of our Wicked Chops Poker Awards is below and ready to go. Read Part I here and Part II here.

Part III is brought to you by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (at right). Rosie, a Brit, is a Victoria's Secret model billed as the next Kate Moss. Except she's much hotter than Kate Moss and less of a junkie. At least less of one for now.

Best Online Poker Site for Talking Shit: Bodog. Not sure why, but if you're a good shit-talker and like getting under people's skin, Bodog is the place for you to rage. F***ing luckboxes.

Best Online Poker Site for All-In Fests: Full Tilt Poker. If we're looking to get a Kate Moss-esque quick fix and don't have a lot of time to waste, Full Tilt's turbo SNG's basically turn into push monkey all-in fests after the first level or two. Perfect little bump.

Best Online Poker Site if You Like Pictures of Children and Dogs: Poker Stars. We love Poker Stars. We don't like other people's kids or dogs. Somebody needs to conduct a study to determine the percentage of runners on Stars that use a baby/family/dog photo for their icon. We're guessing at least 20%. Gotta be.

Best Poker Blogger Trip Reporter: Kid Dynamite. We keep saying it, but Kid Dynamite is the most under-rated poker blogger out there. And we'll keep saying it until he becomes over-rated and hated. His trip reports are particularly good. Read his latest batch here, here and here.

Keeley Hazell is Prolific

The way Keeley Hazell pleasures us with one photo shoot after another is a big reason why she holds the pole position as the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2008.

It's like Keeley is some sort of modern day Józef Ignacy Kraszewski, except instead of writing hundreds of novels in a language that makes no sense to us, she prolifically drops the top for men's magazines around the world on a monthly, if not weekly, basis.

Yeh, we have no idea who Józef Ignacy Kraszewski is either but we're running out of things to say about the world's most perfectly built woman and Józef Ignacy Kraszewski's name is really, really long and we were looking to fill in some space here so the text matches up with the photo you see on the right of Keeley Hazell in the May issue of the UK edition of FHM magazine.

Ok we're good. Now, check out more deliciously clickable photos of Keeley Hazell from the new FHM spread below and here.

Relatedly, find out how you can get interactive with Keeley here, see her in chocolate bikini here and reminisce about her first spread of 2008 here

Keeley Hazell is Interactive

Our favorite top-dropper Keeley Hazell is at again.

FHM is letting its readers pick the Top 100 Sexiest Women in the World and has launched an interactive "Lady Selector" web page in which Keeley helps you choose your favorite hotties by dressing and looking exactly the way you want her to and then sharing with you some of the famous girls who match that criteria.

For example, you can tell Keeley you want her to be a brunette, American girl-next-door type with a nice ass and like magic, although not creepy like magic, Keeley is a brunette, American girl-next-door type with a nice ass. She then tells you some of the girls who match that look, like, say, Jessica Alba.

Yep, it's a genius concept, and a total time sucker. So clear your afternoon and start interacting with Keeley here.

Other great moments in Keeley Hazell doing the fantasy dress up/dress down thing:

Keeley Hazell as a WWII pin up girl
Keeley Hazell as a Simpson character
Keeley Hazell as Audrey Hepburn
Keeley Hazell as Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Simpson
Keeley Hazell as Madonna
Keeley Hazell as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera

Keeley Hazell in FHM Australia Brings You Today's Poker News

Our featured poker news today is brought to you by Keeley Hazell's recent photo spread in FHM Australia. Got poker news to share, shoot us an email.

:: Guy loses his job, starts underground poker game in his home, pimps his wife as a topless dealer, gets arrested (Click here)

:: Jeff Haney of the Las Vegas Sun handicaps the field for the upcoming 2008 NBC National Heads-Up Poker Championship (Click here)

:: Oi, Vai! Some shlemiel politician in Israel has the chutzpah to propose a bill that would force internet providers to block online gambling sites (Click here)

:: The Poker Players Alliance spent $900,000 lobbying the government last year on behalf of online poker, which is legal (Click here)

:: Mike McMillian grabs $168,000 for winning the main event of the Venetian's Deep Stack Extravaganza (Click here)

:: A poker home game in San Antonio, the city loved by Richard Lee even though it's a craphole, was shot up and robbed, a player was critically injured, and the Pokerati crew is on the story (Click here)

The entities are in LA and Las Vegas this week for the WPT LA Poker Classic, WPT Invitational and the NBC Heads-Up Poker Championship. Keep posted of all the action here.

Click Keeley Hazell photos below. Dos mas after the jump . . .

Keeley Hazell Wishes You a Happy Valentines Day

Our favorite top-dropper Keeley Hazell lipsticked her undies to wish her fans a Happy Valentine's Day today. You can put that down as reason #147 for why Keeley Hazell is our OWCPG for two years running and a shoo-in in 2008. Check out the NSFW version over at Page3.com. Related: Keeley Hazell in a Chocolate Bikini Keeley Hazell in ZOO Bikini Photo Spread Keeley Hazell is 21 Today Keeley Hazell Does Jessica Simpson and J-Lo Photos

Keeley Hazell in Chocolate Bikini by the Tower Bridge Photos Makes for a Good Post

Just when we were considering someone else like Odette Yustman as a candidate for the OWCPG of 2008, Keeley Hazell, the OWCPG for two years running, does her thing again. This time it's a bunch of completely untouched photos of her wearing just a chocolate-color bikini while standing in front of the Tower Bridge in London. Apparently the shots are for Lynx body spray which we here in the U.S. know as Axe, the stuff that, like our incredible charm and magical penises, makes the girls go crazy wild for you. The guys made out of chocolate holding up the body spray, we didn't notice them. Click on the photos of Keeley Hazell below for all their goodness, and a few more after the jump.

Keeley Hazell's Zoo Weekly Bikini photos Keeley Hazell FHM bikini photos Keeley Hazell not quite all the way in a bikini (NSFW)

April Scott Video at Jet Las Vegas Makes for a Good Post

Like Keeley Hazell, we're not used to seeing model/actress April Scott wearing much more than nothing. But there she was the other night in Las Vegas at Jet in the Mirage wearing some purple-y silky dressy kind of thing that went up to her neck that can best be described as what we just described.

Scott, who is distinguished as the first girl we ever featured on Wicked Chops Poker back in 2005, was celebrating her 2008 Calendar release and in the video looks a lot like a hot, younger, waify-er version of Denise Richards. As the video above doesn't give you a whole lot of April, check out the links below and more than a handful of new photos of April Scott after the jump . . .

April Scott 2008 Calendar Release in Las Vegas Video

Friday Night Parting Shot: April Scott

April Scott as Daisy Duke Makes for a Good Post

Keeley Hazell in Clothes?

Keeley Hazell Busts Out New Bikini Photo Spread

Keeley Hazell reminded us once again why she's been the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl for the last two years running and why she just may make a 32E-peat in 2008. Only a few weeks into the year and already our favorite massively natural breasted Brit hottie is doing what she does best, posing half naked for photos, this time in ZOO Magazine. And according to her interview*, Keeley is resolved to do even more photoshoots this year and says she is planning to release a book. The subject: her body. It's this type of commitment to shamelessly appeal to our prurient interests with one hot photo spread after another that makes it virtually inconceivable for some other girl to come along and unseat Keeley Hazell from her pole position at Wicked Chops Poker this year. Still, all options are currently being considered as we pick the OWCPG of 2008, and we encourage you to submit suggestions, futile as they may seem. If there's one thing we learned from Orel Hershiser being picked for NBC Heads-Up Poker and a frog riding a motorcycle, anything can happen. Anything. Photos of Keeley Hazell in ZOO Magazine after the jump. * Yep, we read the interview.

Yum

Watch Denise Pernula's interview with Layla Kayleigh.
We always wondered what the fantastically hot Layla Kayleigh would look like wearing nothing but boots and a silky pillow case and low and behold, that's exactly what she wore this New Year's Eve. The photo to the right is one of the pics from the night (click to enlarge). There's another you can see over at Layla's MySpace page.

Also, the Season 6 World Poker Tour hostess released a video blog a few weeks ago from her hotel room in Chicago which you can view below. This time, unlike last time, Layla Kayleigh's actually wearing a watch, and at one point, a big ball on her head. We suck at multi-tasking so we're not quite sure what she was saying during the video while we were staring at her cleavage but we think she said something about wanting someone to sleep in her bed with her because she's scared of ghosts. Or maybe she was talking about Islamo-fascist terrorism in Pakistan being a vestige of the West's short-sighted Cold War policies. No clue.

Speaking of British girls with amazing breasts, Keeley Hazell is starting 2008 off with a bang, if a bang means another set of scandalously sexy photos that will get you fired if you open them at work. Check the new Keeley Hazell photos out here (NSFW).

Layla Kayleigh in Chicago Dec 2007

Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell Shows Her Breasts Again

Thanks to reader Brian late this afternoon for the link to new Keeley Hazell photos on egotastic.com where she is, amazingly, topless.

How Keeley, our official WCP Girl of 2007, hasn't won a Nobel Prize for something by now is beyond us. Peace Prize. Boob Prize. Breast Prize. Titty Prize. Any of the big Nobel Prizes.

The photo at right from her latest spread is the only one we can post.

More NSFW pics here.

All right what the hell, a couple of the NSFW ones after the jump too.

UPDATE: Tossing curves at us like she's Lefty Gomez, if that analogy makes any sense, Keeley Hazell has released not one, but two Official 2008 Keeley Hazell calendars. While we already knew about and previously linked to one of the calendars, which surprisingly has her enormi-boobs covered up in every photo, there is a newly hyped one that is being billed as X-rated. Check out some of the photos from this "X-rated" version calendar here. For somewhat crappy scans of all the photos from both calendars go here.

Some Things We're Thankful For...Part II...The Joanna Krupa 2008 Calendar

A lot of people ask us, they say, "Entities, we're truly thankful for all of the hot girls you post on this site. From being the first to showcase April Scott and of course Keeley Hazell, to nailing the MAXIM hometown hottie," and then they eventually get to the question part, "But Entities, could you please give us more pictures of Joanna Krupa? After all, she was the Official WCP Girl of 2006 and stuff. And she plays poker, like at the 2006 WSOP Main Event. I mean, seriously, please? Also, can I buy some meth from you?"

Listen, we haven't forgotten about Joanna Krupa at all. And we stopped selling meth four hours ago. But Krupa couldn't be any more top-of-mind. When she announced that she was releasing a 2008 calendar (something even one of our favorite sites emailed us about), we didn't even wait to make it a Parting Shot. We put that shit up right away.

The calendar is officially out now, and Krupa threw a party at JET Nightclub in Vegas last night to promote it. She was interviewed by the also hot Andrea Tiede about it, where she reveals that yes, she's still playing poker. And that there's a topless version of the calendar.

Watch the interview below or here. Read about the red carpet here. Buy the calendar here. And get some pics from the interview after the jump.

Joanna Krupa 2008 Calendar Makes for a Good Post

Joanna Krupa is making up for her disappointing no-show at this year's World Series of Poker.

The Poland-born supermodel and occasional poker player with perhaps the finest body in all of Christendom is living up to her "I'd rather go naked" mantra by dropping the top for her 2008 calendar. It's pants-down the best we've seen from the class of 2008 and that's saying a lot considering she's up against the likes of Keeley Hazell, Vikki Blows (NSFW) and Gemma Atkinson.

After the jump, check out a few of the more modest months from her 2008 calendar as well as a video from the photo shoot.

Poker News that Has Absolutely Nothing to Do with Absolute Poker Scandal

:: The inaugural US Poker Bowl featuring a bunch of pros representing a bunch of teams in a bunch of conferences playing a bunch of tournaments is underway at the Palms in Las Vegas. Someone dumb this down for us. [CardPlayer.com] :: Emily Scott, the Keeley Hazell of Australia, has very talented boobs. [Maxim UK] (NSFW and worth the sign up) :: Some well-known but maybe not well-liked US American poker players are crossing the pond to play in the Great British Poker Tour. [PokerListings.com] :: If there's one thing we learned from all of our Adriatic yachting excursions, Croatian woman are great lovers, if you pay them enough, and Nina Moric would be worth every damn kuna. [DoubleViking.com] :: The Duchess, owned by Jason Flemyng from the movie Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, is just one of the pubs taking part in the Ladbrokes Poker Pub series. [UK PokerNews.com] :: Hey look! It's that hot Croatian Nina Moric again. This time even hotter. [Maxim UK] :: We're fans of shyster and Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz, and not just because he wants to bomb the fuck out of the Ayatollahs. We also like him because he think it's ridiculous to call either poker or sports betting a game of chance. [Boston Herald] :: If you've ever wonder what Keeley Hazell looked like covered head to toe in clothes, you're dumb. But here you go. [RateThisHottie.com] :: Giving credit where credit is due, MySpace "Friends" whore Tila Tequila has yet to enter the world of midget porn as we expected and is instead bidding for online gaming domination with her own online casino and poker site. Maybe she can hire AJ Green to manage her operations. [TilaCasino.com] :: We'll have to remember Casey Batchelor the next time we do a JC Tran has spectular breasts post. [HornyOyster.com]

Speaking of Poker News

:: With the possible deportation of poker pro Shawn Sheikhan to Iran, RawVegas.tv put together a touching video tribute of the whiny little bitch. [RawVegas.tv] :: Speaking of video, Keeley Hazell finally does one without dropping the top. If hosting this cable-access-quality online show about computers is her next career move, she needs a new manager. [ByteMeTV.com] :: In a move sure to please spaghetti-eatin' poker players from Turin to Trapani, the Italian government is expected to define poker as a game of skill sometime next week. [PokerNews.com] :: Speaking of Italian, Giorgia Palmas is handsdown the hottest one we've seen in the past cinque minuti. [Bastardly.com] (NSFW) :: PokerStars.com's clampdown on online poker ranking sites has pros like Scott Fischman talking. [CardPlayer.com] :: Speaking of clampdown, we're putting an end to these segues with a bikini-licious video of Brazil's hottest swimsuit model since the last one, Isabeli Fontana. [Heavy.com] :: Owen Laukkanen and Lance "The Biz" Bradley can stop playing Scrabulous on Facebook and start playing poker thanks to two really smart guys. [PokerListings.com] :: Katie Downes, Rhian Sugden, Louise Cliffe and Imogen Gray apparently forgot to pack their bikini tops when they went to Ibiza. [Maxim UK] (NSFW) :: Freakonomic's author Steven Levitt reveals in his latest blog post that he is working with an online poker site to catch cheaters. Which one it is, we don't know but we're guessing it isn't Absolute Poker. [Freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com]

Keeley Hazell is 21 Today

Further proof that the world has yet to change since Annette Obrestad, a woman 5 foot nothing teenage girl, bested the world's top poker players to win the WSOPE Main Event, Keeley Hazell has found her way onto Wicked Chops Poker again. This time it's because the British glam model is celebrating her 21st birthday today, which means she's about two years away from being too old for us and maybe six or seven years away from gravity doing some serious damage to her impossibly natural 32Es.

Fuckin' gravity.

While turning 21 isn't much of a milestone in Keeley Hazell's home land of England, where we understand 8 year old kids can get pissed drunk in pubs and bet on the horses at Newmarket, it does mean Keeley can now freely drink, gamble and get into clubs in Las Vegas. So we're expecting a visit soon.

Until then, you can celebrate Keeley Hazell's birthday by clicking the photo on the right for the half-birthday suit NSFW version. Also one more new photo after the jump. Ok, make that two.

Janne Lamsa Not As Good Looking as Keeley Hazell Pics From Last Post, Is Day 1a Chip Leader at WSOPE Main Event

The second biggest thing going on across the pond today (the first being Keeley Hazell's new spread) was the 2007 WSOPE Main Event.

Day 1a just wrapped with Fin Janne Lamsa (at right) as chip leader, stacked at 115,850. Lamsa has two previous cashes in "major" tournament play in Helsinki.

Lamsa is followed by Huseyin Yilmaz (99,575), whose name sounds like some kind of Arabic alien. Also among the chip leaders are Phil Hellmuth (82,825), somebody named Andrew Feldman (76,650), who we have confirmed is NOT this Andrew Feldman, and somebody named Joseph Serock (60450), who we have confirmed is NOT Joe Sebok.

Day 1b starts tomorrow at 2pm London time, which is around math math math EST and math math math PST.

Get full chip counts and live blogging from PokerNews.com here.

Keeley Hazell Would Be Just as Hot 65 Years Ago

In what may be the hottest set of photos Keeley Hazell has ever done since her last set of photos, our all-time favorite girl with God-given 32Es posed as a World War II era pin-up for a campaign promoting EA Sports' new game Medal of Honor: Airborne. "I've always loved the sexy style of the 1940s and it was great fun to dress up as one of the forces sweethearts and get to play the new Medal of Honor game too!," Keeley Hazell told The Sun, after likely being paid six figures for the gig. By the way, looking at the photos of Keeley Hazell as a WWII pin-up girl, we can't help but to think that our soldiers got robbed when it came to hot chicks to think about when storming beaches and gunning down "Nips" and "Krauts." Especially considering that Betty Grable was the number one pin-up back in the 1940s. Number one average chick with decent legs and a pancake butt maybe but today she wouldn't even catch our eye on a Sunday night at Body English in Vegas, unless perhaps she was kissing another chick like the girl in this RawVegas.tv video. Photos of Keeley as a WW II pin-up after the jump . . .

Yesterday's Poker News Today + Obligatory Distractions

:: Depending on who's telling the story, Antonio Esfandiari's ridiculously named Rocks & Rings posse may or may not have out done Kobe Bryant in ordering $1500 bottles of Cristal during the opening night of the Wynn's new club Blush. [AlwaysBluff.com, TMZ] :: The miniscule-ly built Eva Longoria sometimes does it for us, sometimes not. It's safe to ass-ume that this time she does. [Hollywood Tuna] :: The World Series of Poker Europe officially kicks off tomorrow with a press conference featuring two of poker's most entertainingly obnoxious characters, Phil Hellmuth and David "Devilfish" Ulliott. [WorldSeriesofPoker.com] :: Photos of actress Maggie Gyllenhall wearing Agent Provocateur lingerie is very confusing to our penises. [WWTDD.com] :: The IRS will soon require US casinos and cardrooms to withhold 25% from any cash wins over $5,000. Bitches. [PokerListings.com] :: The heavenly stacked Keeley Hazell is back with a new cover spread in Zoo Weekly. [TVShark.com] :: Stepping up to the big leagues, Caesars Palace is hosting a $10,000 buy-in tournament this October with a $1 million guaranteed first prize that isn't a WSOP Circuit or WPT event. [Las Vegas Sun] :: Listen, we like our girls to be wise, mature and at least of drinking age, except replace "wise" and "mature" with "morally loose" and "foolish" and somewhere in between lies the truth. Anyway, we forget where we were going with this but it had something to do with 18-year-old singer/actress Vanessa Hudgens on a beach in Hawaii. [F-Listed.com] :: Anyone who thinks Harrah's handles the poker media badly should read Change 100's post about the mess that was the EPT Barcelona Open. [Pot Committed] Got something newsworthy to share? Send us your links.

Flight of the Poker News

:: Our friends at the WSOP Academy are putting on their first poker camp in Atlantic City this Dec. 1-2 with Greg Raymer, FOWCP Alex Outhred and freak-your-shit-scary-good poker tells expert Joe Navarro among those on hand to teach. [WSOPAcademy.com] :: 야!!! So apparently Hyori Lee (above left) is how you say "Jessica Alba" in Korean. [NS4W.org] :: A Harvard professor is forming a global poker strategic thinking society. [Herald Sun] :: If Heidi Klum is what you should look like after giving birth, then Christina Aguilera is what you should look like the months before, if you have obnoxiously massive fake breasts. [WWTDD] :: A Brunson not named Doyle or Todd won a poker tournament. In related news, Steve Lipscomb raises the sexy quotient of the WPT Ladies Night to astronomical levels with a line-up that includes Linda Johnson, Mimi Tran, Melissa Hayden and JJ Liu. We can barely keep our pants on. [PokerNews.com] :: Are you ready for some football . . . cheerleaders? [Maxim] :: In today's latest global poker strategic thinking society news, PlayersOnly.com is sponsoring a celebrity fundraiser at the Playboy Mansion featuring the lovely Carrie Stroup, who we just heard is Playboy Magazine’s "Babe of the Month" for September. [Bluff Magazine] :: In poker's most captivating online video moment of the week, nice guy Shawn Green talks on the phone from the CardPlayer TV studio for 27 minutes with feared online poker player, Shabbat follower and new Las Vegas resident BodogAri. To be honest, BodogAri has such a great story and is such a good kid, we half listened to half of what he had to say while typing this. [CardPlayer TV] :: For crying out loud Keeley Hazell, stop it with this whole "wearing clothes" thing, it just ain't your style. [Second City Style] :: Finally, below another brilliant clip from HBO's Flight of the Conchords:

Keeley Hazell . . . in Clothes? As a Simspons Character?

It's always a strange sight seeing Keeley Hazell in clothes, and it's even stranger when she's wearing a potato-sack-like dress and even stranger-er when she's standing next to a Simpsons-ized version of herself and even stranger-er-er that we're staring lustfully at the cardboard cutout's boobs and not Keeley's.

Keeley Hazell is the Breast Actress in the World

It's been awhile since we had anything to say about Keeley Hazell, but we just got word that the film she appears in, Cashback, is now showing in select theaters in the U.S.

This is Keeley Hazell's first role in a film, other than her sex tape.

Cashback was originally released as a short film and was redone as a feature length after it was nominated for an Oscar in 2006. Written and directed by Sean Ellis, who you don't know, the film focuses in on a young man suffering from insomnia after a painful break up. To cope, he decides to moonlight as a stock boy at a grocery store where he . . . anyway, Keeley is seen in her undies and not much else in the below trailer about 1:40 in.

After the jump, two screen grabs of Keeley Hazell from the film you won't see in the clip below. WARNING: She's topless in the photos so if you're at the office and not your own boss you should probably click on this link instead.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell Does Audrey Hepburn

This post doesn't really require any set up except to tell you that after the jump are photos from Keeley Hazell's latest shoot where she does her best impression of classic beauty Audrey Hepburn, that is, if Audrey Hepburn had 32Es, an aversion to clothing and liked to pose in the nude for about $200k a pop.

For Keeley Hazell photos of her posing like Kylie Minogue, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, and other girls we may or may not pull our pants down for even if a bottle of penicillin wasn't nearby, go here, here, here and here.

Meanwhile in poker news, some events are going on, bad beat stories are being told and bracelets are being won at the 2007 World Series of Poker.

Or so we heard.

Keeley Hazell is Sexiest Down Under

While FHMonline.com readers inexplicably voted Keeley Hazell as #60 on its annual Top 100 Sexiest Women in the World List, congrats to readers of FHM Australia for getting it right by voting Keeley #1.

The top-spot accolade Down Under is one spot better than how Keeley fared in FHM UK's Sexiest poll, where she finished second just behind Jessica Alba (<-- worth the click).

In other Keeley Hazell news, our penises still love the Keeley Malibu Beach video.

Still Not Done With Keeley Hazell

So much for a new OWCPG for 2007.

After the jump are ridiculously hot new photos of Keeley Hazell (some quasi-NSFW), along with links to the rest of the series that are sure to get you fired.

Her best shots yet? We think so.

We're Not Done With Keeley Hazell

We're so tired of seeing Keeley Hazell doing the same poses in the same bikinis showing off her same spectacular body over and over in magazines and online and in videos, except replace the word "so" with "never gonna get" and somewhere in between lies the truth.

Actually the truth, if we were into such things, is that while we love the endless photos of Keeley Hazell doing nothing but barely being contained in a barely there bikini, we actually prefer the more creatively inspired approaches when it comes to displaying her magnitude of magnificence, like Zoo Weekly's "Keeley Hazell Does Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson and a Whole Bunch of Other Slutty Pop Stars You Wanna See Keeley Do" series.

Or what about the "I Just Stepped Out of the Shower in My Panties and Boyfriend's Button Down" spread she did for ARENA and the dizzying World Cup spread featuring a full squad of Keeleys (top and bottom of the page). Both are perfect showcases of sextitude for Keeley yet not just the straightforward shots of her in swim or sleep wear.

Heck, we even thought the "I Occasionally Wear Clothes" shots were a refreshing change from the typical lingerie and bikini pics we're so used to seeing.

Of course, we say all this and then watch the video of Keeley in a bikini (and not in a bikini) on the beach in Malibu and think "who are we kidding?"

And we don't have an answer. You know, because it's a rhetorical question.

So anyway, Keeley did a new spread for the May issue of FHM (quasi work-safe photos after the jump) and it's a lot like the other spreads you've seen of Keeley (including shots of her topless and in a bikini), and the point of all this is that we're not done with Keeley even if she just keeps doing the same kind of spreads over and over, or precisely because she keeps doing the same kind of spreads over and over.

But we do challenge the FHMs of the world, Praise Be Upon Them, to look for creative new ways of showcasing Keeley besides just the typical stuff (Keeley doing the FHM Kama Sutra pictorial with Carmen Electra would have been good) and if you have any ideas of your own, let us know and the best idea we get wins a Wicked Chops Poker t-shirt.

For the Hump, Keeley Hazell + More After the Jump

In advance of Harrahs' announcement that Bluff Magazine will be the official digital media provider of the World Series of Poker and in what may or may not be a weekly hump day tradition, we offer AFTER THE JUMP a Keeley Hazell video moment of her on the beach in LA, once again showing her aversion to bikini tops (yes it's NSFW), followed by links that have nothing to do with poker and everything to do with Sophie Anderton, Daniela Pestova, April Scott, the Australian Bikini Cricket Team, and a video of Olivia Munn talking oral with Anna David.

Happy Wednesday.

She Looks A Lot Like Keeley Hazell But . . .

...the Keeley Hazell we know doesn't wear clothes.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell

Just when we're about to introduce you to the OWCPG of 2007, Keeley Hazell comes out with a new spread. This time black and white photos and modestly clothed in the April 2007 issue of ARENA.

See all the goodness after the jump.

Friday Night Parting Shot: Keeley Hazell

An outlandishly hot, relatively unknown Romanian model who we've been digging for almost four years was going to be this week's Friday Night Parting Shot Girl, that was, until we came across a set of stupendously spectacular photos of Keeley Hazell we hadn't seen before. And when this happens you're reminded of what your priorities are and your plans change, like the time I was planning to head off to Saint-Tropez with my 19-year-old Swedish mistress named Katarina and then my current/first wife reminded me that I was married and didn't have a 19-year-old Swedish mistress. And then I reminded her she was just my current/first wife.

So the Romanian we'll just have to wait another day.

For now, pics of Keeley Hazell after the jump.

Keeley Hazell to Get a Wax Job

Keeley Hazell, the 20-year-old, "Page 3" model most famous for her mammoth mammalian protruberances (marginally NSFW link) and most recently for her homemade video of her mouthing the manhood of Mr. Miller, may be immortalized at London's Madame Tussauds. The cheesy-as-can-be museum announced over the weekend that they're considering a topless waxwork of the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2006 because "Page 3 is a national institution and she is the most famous Page 3 girl at the moment," which is Brit talk for "this is the closest you're ever going to see Keeley Hazell topless in person, even though it's wax and will look kind of creepy."

If you're curious what making a wax sculpture out of Keeley Hazell may look like, these photos of Keeley Hazell being bronzed give you an idea, among other things.

If you're curious of what the Official Wicked Chops Poker Girl of 2007 looks like, this post will give you an idea, in case you missed it the first time.

Thanks to Grumbledook for the tip.

Katherine McPhee Plays Poker

Confession. We're really into ex-American Idol-er Katherine McPhee here at Wicked Chops Poker. Like on par with our Keeley Hazell obsession but completely different, because Katherine doesn't have a sex tape. So naturally when someone told us that McPhee was playing poker in her cameo appearance on a recent webisode of Lonelygirl15 (below, and if you don't know what that's all about, either do we, but why did Bree kiss Daniel, she like is so playing him and she knows it), we had to check it out.

Well, we did, and there's really not much to say about the video except that there are some hot photos of Katherine McPhee posted after the jump (and a video of Carmen Electra mocking Lonelygirl15) that make watching the video seem pointless, because it is.

What is Sexy? Gavin Smith on a Mechanical Bull is Sexy

Move over Keeley Hazell sex tape.

RawVegas.tv, the new i-TV channel headed up by our very own Chops, has the Gavin Smith mechanical bull-riding video. And damn is it sexy. Like clown porno sexy, or sexy if you're into "not that good looking," "short" and "overweight" (to quote the man himself) poker players from America Jr. flailing around on an electric cow with horns.

RawVegas.tv, which went live today and is giving viewers a "first look" at its programming line-up, has a show called "Prop Bets," starring Gavin Smith and Joe Sebok that more or less picks up where we last saw the two, with their ridiculous WSOP prop bet, which, in case you don't remember, had Joe dressed as a diaper-wearing bear, the Boy Wonder, Spidey and Wonder Woman.

On this first webisode, the two wager $10,000 cash on who can ride a mechanical bull the longest. And not to spoil the video but let's just say that the guy with the last name Sebok wins. Other upcoming prop bets may or may not include Chinese water torture and face punching.

And yes, we did say clown porno.

A Woman Will Not Win the Aussie Millions

Kristy Gazes, a woman, was eliminated in 7th place by Gus Hansen, reports Pauly over at PokerNews.com. Pauly's been all over the action at the Aussie Millions like Keeley on Lloyd, but only more like a pro and not as sloppy, although sloppy can be fine which brings to mind how there's no such thing as a bad, you know, lewinsky, just good ones and great ones, but there is such a thing as bad live blogging.

Ok, carry on.

No Really, the Sky is Falling on U.S. Poker Market

We're not ones to panic here at Wicked Chops Poker but while we were in our underground bunkers this morning we read Bill Rini's post about Neteller exiting the U.S. market, and let's just say we're days away from going back to being Wicked Chops State Lotteries (ah, remember those days). Or maybe we'll just go with the Wicked Chops Pageant Chicks idea.

It's also worth noting that we're not buying Full Tilt Poker's position that "NETeller's decision has no impact on our business here at Full Tilt Poker."

Yeh, and we're pirates.

Anyway, our food-tasters are done testing our Lucky Charms and everything looks good so we're gonna go eat. For now though, check out the articles below, which are mostly from Gambling911.com because they're on this Neteller news like we're on the Keeley Hazell sex tape scandal. Except they keep their pants on.

NETeller arrests deal blow to Net gambling

Full Tilt Poker Heavy Reliance on NETeller Could Prove Costly.

NETeller Arrests Deal Blow to Net Gambling.

NETeller, Citadel Out!
Both NETeller and Citadel announced late Wednesday, that they will no longer offer financial processing to US Customers.

Before Keeley There Was April

It's a little known fact that April Scott (that's her above, go ahead, don't read anymore, just click the banner to see more of April) is the first girl we posted a photo of here at Wicked Chops Poker that had absolutely nothing to do with poker. Or put another way, without April Scott, there may have never been a Keeley Hazell, or at the least, thousands of people hitting our site yesterday and today looking for a link to Keeley's sex tape would be left wandering around the so-called Internet with absolutely nowhere to go, except for the thousands of other sites also linking to Keeley's sex tape.

Not to get all spiritual here but thank God there is an April Scott. She does exist. And if faith isn't enough for you, GorillaMask.net posted 12 photos of April Scott in lingerie today as proof.

And to that we say "Hallelujah!"

Keeley Hazell Does as Predicted

Last year, back in November of 2006, which was just a few months ago, Wicked Chops Poker mentioned that Keeley Hazell was in talks to star in a "Baywatch movie."

In the same post, we also threw it out there that the Brit beauty may just follow in the footsteps of Pamela Anderson in other ways, including, among other things, "getting banged on tape."

And unless you live under a rock and that rock doesn't have a good Internet connection, then you know the latter happened.

Now it seems the former (in case you forgot already, that's Keeley starring in a Baywatch movie) is going to happen, which to cynical types and people with any common sense whatsoever, makes the release of her sex tape seem like a publicity ploy. Of course, we just think it's an awful coincidence.

Reported today in the Sun, Keeley is all but certain to don the famous red swimsuit in the upcoming Baywatch movie after wowing film producers with her looks and, uh, acting skills.

Hazell, who is in L.A. right now, reportedly had this to say:

“Before I won the Sun’s Page 3 Idol competition in 2004 I was just a girl from Kent working in a hairdressing salon. Now I am here in Hollywood. It would be a great opportunity to try some acting and I’ll see where it takes me."

To the top Keeley. All the way to the top.

God Clearly Hates Poker

There's no doubt that God loves us. Keeley Hazell is proof of that. As are pageant girls who shag judges and kiss other girls while simulating sex acts.

But our guts tell us he doesn't love poker.

In what seems to be one blow to the game of poker after another, Derek Kelly, the owner of the Gutshot poker club, handsdown the best place to play poker in London, has been convicted of "contravening the Gaming Act" for "illegally charging a levy on the winnings and illegally charging a fee to take part in" poker games, or to put it another way, for owning the best place to play poker in London. The result will likely be the closing of the the unlicensed club, which has been holding games since 2004, and notwithstanding being the home turf of Tiffany "Crazy Bitch" Williamson, has produced a steady flow of top notch card tossers.

Keeley Hazell Feels Betrayed, In Tears, Now More Famous Than Ever

We feel obliged to stay on top of this Keeley Hazell sex tape scandal for some reason that has to do with wasting the day looking at photos of Keeley Hazell, and the latest news is that Ms. Hazell is understandably chapped about her home video getting leaked. Here's what she told the Sun today on how she found out:

“I was in bed on Sunday morning when Page 3 girl Nicola T rang. She informed me stills from a personal video I had made with an ex-boyfriend were in a downmarket newspaper. I got straight up and went out and bought it. I just burst into tears when I saw the images staring back at me.”

Pointing the finger at ex-boyfriend Lloyd Miller, Keeley went on to say:

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would betray me in this way. Now I don’t know who I can trust. I never had any intention of it being seen. I haven’t even seen it myself and have no intention of doing so. We had taken a video camera on holiday with us to Tenerife last summer. We were both feeling relaxed after a couple of drinks and it just happened. I have turned down offers to do Playboy covers because there were certain things I simply didn’t want others to see. Now I feel I have no dignity left. In future I know I will have to be more careful who I fall in love with.”

So out of respect for Keeley we ask that you please don't view her sex tape, anymore, today, or at the least, right now, this minute.

Also, if you're wondering who Nicola T is, photos after the jump....

NETeller Founders Arrested in the U.S., May Be Terrorists

Gambling911.com, a site that is known for breaking online gambling news like it's their frickin' business, because it is, is reporting that the two founders of NETeller--John LeFebvre and Steve Lawrence (both originally from America Jr.)--were arrested in Los Angeles and New York, respectively, today. What they're charge with is unknown right now but our wild imaginations assume that it has something to do with the nuclear bomb Fayed and his men detonated tonight on the second two hours of the season premiere of "24." Just our hunch.

According to Gambling911.com, "Neither men have been involved with NETeller for a few years now, though it is not known if they are still receiving an "income" from the company."

Gambling911.com is on the story like Keeley Hazell on Lloyd Miller's pathetically flacid...well, you get the idea. They're all over it so stay tuned there, or here, where we'll just point you back to there.