Neteller CEO Releases Video Message to US Customers

Ron Martin, the president and CEO of Neteller, posted a video on YouTube addressing the company's US customers who were collectively screwed out of $94 million until now. It's worth the viewing. Perhaps not as much as this hot video of Denise Pernula and a bunch of Playboy bunny hopefuls prancing around poolside at the Palms in their thong bikinis is, but nevertheless, still worth it.

Seen first over at

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Neteller's $94 Million Payout to US Customers Starts Tomorrow

LondonrainMaldivesWell the sky never did quite fall.

Beginning tomorrow, US online gamblers who have had their Neteller accounts frozen since January of this year will be able to log in and request withdrawal of their funds.

Neteller will be sending out an email to all of its US customers but be wise and type in the URL to the Neteller site yourself because no doubt shit-ass phishers will be spamming inboxes soon, if not already.

With this news, we've decided to to bypass attending the World Series of Poker Europe in London and instead we'll be spending our cold cash on that diving holiday in the Maldives we've been promising ourselves. Hard decision for us picking between a week of getting pissed on or sunny paradise. Too bad the current/first wives can't join us but they have kids to take care of.

Read more about the Neteller payout news here and here.

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Neteller Escapes Prosecution By Forking Over $136 Million, US Customers to Get Money Back Soon

Looks like the entities will be heading off to the beach house in the Maldives soon.

Naomi_1024768_01Announced today, Neteller has signed an agreement with the US Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York that requires it to admit to criminal wrongdoings, forfeit $136 million to the US, be monitored for 18 months and "fully implement procedures and controls to prevent illegal transactions between internet gambling merchants and persons located in the US," among other things. In return, the USAO will defer all criminal prosecution against the British-based online payment processor.

Neteller has also agreed to return the $94 million it had been holding for/from US customers and will begin accepting withdrawal requests from US customers by no later than July 30, 2007. The exact date will be communicated via email and through the Neteller website.

For Neteller's full press release on the agreement, after the jump below.

For past stories on the Neteller shakedown, go here.

For Naomi Millbank-Smith's take on the agreement, if talking about her new 34 FFs (seen above) counts as such, go here.

Continue reading "Neteller Escapes Prosecution By Forking Over $136 Million, US Customers to Get Money Back Soon" »

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PartyGaming, 888 Initiate Talks with DOJ

KarinajelinekJust as Neteller has reached an agreement with the US Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York to ship money back to its US customers, PartyGaming, parent co. of Party Poker, and 888 Holdings, parent co. of Pacific Poker, have both initiated talks this week with the same US Attorney's office in what appears to be an attempt to ascertain their legal positions in light of the "preposterous" Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act.

Joseph Kelly, a business law professor at the SUNY Buffalo, told, "Bottom line is, they're trying to eliminate any cloud that's hanging over their heads. They want to be able tell their shareholders that there are no threats of impending prosecution."

Somewhere in this post we should probably say that the talks have something to do with A. Dikshit wanting to come to the U.S. on holiday without getting Dicks-snatched at the airport but our creative juices are being besmirched and begrimed, even befouled, by a photo of Britney Spears' ass.

Shwewww....we just found that link to Karina Jelinek (in pic above) to clear our minds.

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Neteller to Ship Money Back to U.S. Customers

Maldives_2In a "we'll believe it when we're using the money we have stuck in our Neteller accounts for our next holiday in the Maldives" announcement today, the British-based online payment processor has announced that it has come to an agreement with the U.S. Attorney's Office in New York to allow U.S. customers who have been stuck a collective $55 million since January the chance to log into their accounts and request full payment of funds.

According to the press release, customers won't be paid interest on their money, and info on the payout "will be communicated to NETELLER’s US customers via email, through our website and through a press release once the date for implementation of the Distribution Plan is finalised."

Target date for the refunds may or may not be July 13, 2007.

After the jump, either a photo of Keeley Hazell or the full Neteller press release on its plan to return U.S. customers' funds.

For our post on Neteller's first announcement of its plan to return funds go here.

Continue reading "Neteller to Ship Money Back to U.S. Customers" »

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BREAKING: Neteller Plans Return of US Customers' Money

Logo_168x31Isaac Haxton may no longer be stuck $800,000.

Neteller, the online payment processor that helped fuel the online poker boom but went south after its two founders were nabbed by U.S. authorities, eventually freezing approximately $55 million of its U.S. customers' money, announced today that it has signed agreements with the US Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York and financial consulting firm Navigant Consulting, Inc., that outline a timeline under which Neteller "will work toward the orderly distribution of funds to its US customers."

According to the press release though, players shouldn't expect any formal plan on the disbursement until this summer, just as the World Series of Poker gets underway.

"Per the agreements, the Group anticipates that within the next 75 days it will announce a plan by which the funds will be distributed to US customers. Navigant will also provide a report to the USAO on the Group’s current financial condition."

Ron Martin, who holds the enviable position (if you're a saddo masochist) of being the NETELLER Group President and CEO commented, "We continue to be committed to returning funds to our US customers and working with the US Attorney’s Office. Progress, while not always visible to the outside observer, has been steady and these agreements mark a milestone in the process."

For the backstory, after the jump are links to some of our past posts on the Neteller shakedown as well as today's press release from Neteller announcing it steps towards returning US customers' funds.

Continue reading "BREAKING: Neteller Plans Return of US Customers' Money " »

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Bill Edler Leads WPT LAPC; Suk Sung Doesn't Suck


Three days into the WPT LAPC and here's five things we've learned:

1) Nothing causes a stir quite like a last longer ass tattoo prop bet (get Gavin and Joe's thoughts on it in yesterday's Raw Vegas Daily News)
2) Suk Sung has our new favorite name. Mildly obsessed with it.
3) This Isaac Haxton kid is freaking good, man. Although it totally suk sungs that he's stuck 800k in Neteller.
4)  As much as we hate to admit it, that dork Ted Lawson has some wicked poker chops. Ire ire.
5) That LA Poker Classic logo would've been awesome in 1991.

Chip leaders after Day 3 are: Bill Edler (696,000), Jason Strasser (677,000), Suk Sung (668,000), and J.C. Tran (636,000). Other notables still alive include Paul Wasicka, whose name looks too much like swastika for our liking, Nick Schulman, Jeff Cabanillas, Isaac Haxton, Kristy Gazes (a woman), Joe Awada, Chau Giang, Nam Le, and Ted Lawson.

Personally, we here at Wicked Chops Poker are rooting for an all Asian final table consisting of: Suk Sung, Chau Giang, Sung Yi, Shan Jing, Nhut Tran, and Can Kim Hua. Try that on for size, Mike Sexton!

Get full reports at Poker News.

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Isaac Haxton Stuck $800k in Neteller Shakedown

Isaac Haxton finishes second in the Caribeen Poker Adventure on January 10, 2007 and banks $861,789. PokerStars then dumps his winnings into his online poker account, and five days later news of Keeley Hazell's homemade sex tape hits the Internet, which has nothing to do with this story. The very next day though Neteller's founders are arrested and soon after Neteller freezes U.S. accounts, which they eventually admit were seized as evidence by the U.S. Government to the tune of $55 million, $800k of which is Haxton's. We'd say he's fired up about being stuck huge by the U.S. government in this video interview with, but he's not, strangely enough.

Link to Isaac Haxton video here.

Bookmark and Share Donezo in U.S.

281"[] will no longer be accepting US customers from hereon in," a rep from the poker site told just now, after a bit of confusion today that had folks over at 2+2 chatting it up like high school cheerleaders at a slumber party, if middle aged online poker players obsessively posting on a message board was anything like that.

The news comes on the heels of Tribeca Tables poker network, which hosted, announcing last week that it would no longer be allowing new U.S. customers to play at its poker sites and that all U.S. IPs would be banned effective February 28. is still trying to get its own network developed to replace Tribeca Tables, but even when it's up it won't take U.S. players.

"[T]he egaming bill is just too 'hot'," a 2+2 poster apparently was told by customer service at

UPDATE: finally makes it official with an announcement regarding the above to its players. Check out for the story.

UPDATE: official press release after the jump...

Continue reading " Donezo in U.S." »

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Ghostface Killah Launches Online Poker Site...Finally


It was March 2005. Chops, Snake, and the man who calls himself "the Addict," as well as the long-since-forgotten-about Tim Bangs were sitting around, talking about all things poker just days before the official launch of Wicked Chops Poker. It was a pleasant time. Poker wasn't even at the height of its boom. Children could safely play in the streets in any town in America without fear of abduction. No one locked their doors at night. No one had ever even heard of al-Qaeda yet.

As we sat there, we debated amongst ourselves, "Which member of the Wu-Tang Clan will open an online poker site first?"

It was heated.

The Addict threw his hat in the ring for ODB, not knowing that Dirt McGirt was already pushing daisies.

Chops thought it'd be RZA, since he was kind of the ringleader anyway. Snake disagreed, mostly cause he's an ex-lawyer and likes to disagree. And Tim Bangs...he didn't really have an opinion. a ton of hit us all. The answer was sooooooo obvious. So clear.

Ghostface Killah! Seriously, how could it NOT be?

Continue reading "Ghostface Killah Launches Online Poker Site...Finally" »

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See Bill Rini's Headline Re: Cashing Out at Tony G. Poker

Tonyg1Over the weekend, we got wind that Tony G., the former Lithuanian Rubik's cube champion and the mad man behind, had cut off U.S. players from playing at, the site the poker pro first launched in 2005 as his personal home on the Web and eventually became an online poker room last summer.

And while the news of a site shutting off U.S. players isn't news these days what is news is that U.S. players, without any advance heads-ups of the move, were left with no other option than to trust Tony G. by transfering all the money in their accounts directly over to Tony G.'s personal account on the site, then send an email to support at Tony G. Poker to tell them their player IDs over at either UltimateBet, FullTilt, or PokerStars so that Tony G. can transfer their money there.


Go read Tony G.'s blog on the shutdown and cashout process or read's post on the matter entitled Cashout From TonyG Poker = Send Your Money to TonyG, which is almost word for word the headline we were going to use, hence the headline we used.

It's worth noting that the comments to Tony G.'s blog entry suggest that the process has been rather slow for many players, as expected, but people do seem to be getting their money transferred, much like the opposite of Neteller.

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War on Online Poker?

Closedsign_sLooking over at right now, the headline to their story about the DoJ targeting banks in Britain (really it's banks everywhere maybe even some U.S. banks) says: "War on Online Poker: DoJ Targets Banks in Britain." Which leads us to ask: Should all this Neteller, DoJ and legislation business really be characterized as a "War on Online Poker," as puts it, or is online poker just collateral damage in a much bigger war on online gaming (in particular sportsbooks and casinos), which is really a continuation of an older war going back to an era of bookies, racketeering and money laundering, as well as perceived societal notions involving the evils of gambling, especially when mainly luck is involved and the odds are greatly stacked against the bettor?

Continue reading "War on Online Poker?" »

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Happy Blue Monday Everyone!!!

JbielonyachtPsychologists call today, January 22, "Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year, because the weather generally blows, the days are still short, you realize you spent too much money over the holidays and you already gave into your New Year's resolution to stop looking at Internet porn so much, or whatever it is you were resolved to do.

And for online gaming sites and for many who played a role in their rise from the backrooms of the Web to the top of the London stock exchange, you can add to the "things that make you depressed" list the recent Neteller shakedown and news yesterday that the US Dept. of Justice has ordered some of the world's biggest banks to hand over all e-mails and documents connected with gaming sites.

As a result, shares in European online gaming companies fell as much as 14 percent today on London's Alternative Investment Market while British politicans have be thrown in a tizzy, or whatever it is Brits do when they're chapped, over the long arm of the U.S. law crossing the Atlantic.

Continue reading "Happy Blue Monday Everyone!!!" »

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Friday Night Parting Shot: Denise Pernula + Lauren Boiros

Rawvegas_0173_editIt only seems fitting that we have's Denise Pernula and Lauren Boiros as this week's Friday Night Parting Shot Girls. They're both incredibly hot, sexy, smart and super cool.

But more importantly, it's fitting because someone over at the Raw Vegas office just e-mailed us a half dozen or so photos of the two pruriently posing together, and they say "Friday Night Parting Shot" like nothing else we've seen. Literally. As in, in the "subject" of the e-mail it says: "Friday Night Parting Shot."

And while we could tell you all about how the blonde-hair Denise is a UNLV grad with acting credits that include CSI: Vegas and movies like Rock Balboa and that brunette Lauren had roles in movies like Ocean's Eleven and Rush Hour 2, why waste your time. You already know that. Because we just told you.

Plus you can read more about the two over at their page on the That is, when you're done "looking at" their photos both there and, say it with us now, "after the jump."

Continue reading "Friday Night Parting Shot: Denise Pernula + Lauren Boiros" »

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No Really, the Sky is Falling on U.S. Poker Market

We're not ones to panic here at Wicked Chops Poker but while we were in our underground bunkers this morning we read Bill Rini's post about Neteller exiting the U.S. market, and let's just say we're days away from going back to being Wicked Chops State Lotteries (ah, remember those days). Or maybe we'll just go with the Wicked Chops Pageant Chicks idea.

It's also worth noting that we're not buying Full Tilt Poker's position that "NETeller's decision has no impact on our business here at Full Tilt Poker."

Yeh, and we're pirates.

Anyway, our food-tasters are done testing our Lucky Charms and everything looks good so we're gonna go eat. For now though, check out the articles below, which are mostly from because they're on this Neteller news like we're on the Keeley Hazell sex tape scandal. Except they keep their pants on.

NETeller arrests deal blow to Net gambling

Full Tilt Poker Heavy Reliance on NETeller Could Prove Costly.

NETeller Arrests Deal Blow to Net Gambling.

NETeller, Citadel Out!
Both NETeller and Citadel announced late Wednesday, that they will no longer offer financial processing to US Customers.

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No More InstaCash for U.S. Players, and other sites that don't sleep at night are reporting that Neteller has dropped its InstaCash option for U.S. players, no doubt in response to the charges levied against its founders and all-around groovy dudes John Lefebvre and Stephen Lawrence.

According to, the below is the message players received when trying to use the option at

“Neteller’s Insta Cash option for U.S. players has been discontinued. You may still make a regular Neteller deposit at this time. If you don’t already have funds available at Neteller, please use our Instant eCheck deposit option to make an immediate deposit directly from your bank account.”

For more on the Neteller shakedown and its effect on the U.S. market, check out as well as the article "Neteller Arrests Bode Ill for Online Gambling" over at

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The Sky Is Falling (Maybe): Arrests of Lefebvre and Lawrence Had Everything to do with Neteller

Mike_1The complaints against NETeller founders John Lefebvre and Stephen Lawrence were unsealed this afternoon, and we now know that they are being charged with conspiring to transfer funds (money laundering) with the intent to promote illegal gambling (by starting and operating NETeller), and face a maximum of 20 years in the clink.

According to U.S. Attorney Michael Garcia, (photo at right, or is that Dermot Mulroney?), when Lawrence and Lefebvre helped take NETeller public in 2004, they "conceded that they were risking prosecution by the government of the United States under existing or future federal laws."

Garcia continued in a statement, "Blatant violations of U.S. law are not a mere `risk' to be disclosed to prospective investors. Criminal prosecutions related to online gambling will be pursued even in cases where assets and defendants are positioned outside of the United States."

Fuck. Shit. Damn.

Read more about the U.S. governments charges against Lefebvre and Lawrence and some initial analysis in the articles listed after the jump:

Continue reading "The Sky Is Falling (Maybe): Arrests of Lefebvre and Lawrence Had Everything to do with Neteller" »

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Yes, That Is a Photo of NETeller Founder John Lefebvre

812920809_lIf there's two incontrovertible facts we know for certain from watching the television show, "24," it's that you can't trust anyone with the name "Ahmed," even if they seem like a friendly neighbor and starred in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and that Los Angeles is the city terrorists want to blow into oblivion more than any other place in the world, for some reason.

What this has to do with the arrests of NETeller founders John Lefebvre and Stephen Lawrence, we have no idea. Or actually we did but we don't remember the segue anymore because we completely lost our train of thought after seeing the photo to the right of Lefebvre standing in the water jamming on a mandolin coupled with the amount of concentration needed to make sure we type the unnecessary "b" in his last name.

What we do remember though is that no one knows yet why John Lefebvre and Stephen Lawrence were arrested simultaneously on separate coasts in America on MLK day.

Tax evasion? NETeller related? Being Canadians? We just don't know.

What we do know though is after the jump . . .

Continue reading "Yes, That Is a Photo of NETeller Founder John Lefebvre" »

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NETeller Founders Arrested in the U.S., May Be Terrorists, a site that is known for breaking online gambling news like it's their frickin' business, because it is, is reporting that the two founders of NETeller--John LeFebvre and Steve Lawrence (both originally from America Jr.)--were arrested in Los Angeles and New York, respectively, today. What they're charge with is unknown right now but our wild imaginations assume that it has something to do with the nuclear bomb Fayed and his men detonated tonight on the second two hours of the season premiere of "24." Just our hunch.

According to, "Neither men have been involved with NETeller for a few years now, though it is not known if they are still receiving an "income" from the company." is on the story like Keeley Hazell on Lloyd Miller's pathetically flacid...well, you get the idea. They're all over it so stay tuned there, or here, where we'll just point you back to there.

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Frist Fallout: PartyPoker + 888 Fold, PokerStars Next?

PartyGaming, parent company of, has folded to the pressure of the officially out-of-its-mind American Government, deciding to close its U.S.-facing operation and plummeting the value of its shares.

In a regulatory announcement released today, PartyGaming explained:
"After taking extensive legal advice, the Board of PartyGaming Plc has concluded that the new legislation, if signed into law, will make it practically impossible to provide US residents with access to its real money poker and other real money gaming sites. As a result of this development, the Board of PartyGaming has determined that if the President signs the Act into law, the Company will suspend all real money gaming business with US residents, and such suspension will continue indefinitely, subject to clarification of the interpretation and enforcement of US law and the impact on financial institutions of this and other related legislation."
Read the rest of the statement after the jump.

888 Holdings also pulled a France and capitulated to the pressure. They announced they are halting all U.S. facing opps of their business. is also saying that the word from "a number of high level internet gambling executives" is that PokerStars will soon follow suit.

On whether Bodog would jump ship now, Bodog's Calvin Ayre told Christopher Costigan of last night, "Bodog will continue to monitor things as they unfold but is not expected to make any changes until our study is completed."

Neteller is currently in "business as usual" mode until further guidance is provided. But they note that they do not know how NETELLER, "a European company, with no assets, presence or employees in the US, would be affected by this bill."

So who looks like they're sticking around? Full Tilt, Bodog, Ultimate Bet, WSEX, Absolute, and Paradise.

Continue reading "Frist Fallout: PartyPoker + 888 Fold, PokerStars Next? " »

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Online Gaming Sites to Fight Fascist Frist Legislation

It's about time.

Fristgoodlatte_1Online gambling sites have mostly been asleep at the wheel as fascists like Bill Frist and Bob Goodlatte (at right) pushed legislation through Congress to prohibit Internet wagering (except for things like horse racing) and poker in the U.S. However, it's reported that some online sites may finally be stepping up to fight this 21st century form of prohibition. The question is, will it be too little too late?

According to, "litigation brought on by some industry giants and other nations dependent upon internet gambling might hinder the measure pertaining to wagering online."

The site has learned that "at least one industry giant plans to release a statement as early as this coming Monday."

Continue reading "Online Gaming Sites to Fight Fascist Frist Legislation" »

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Anti-Gaming Legislation Passes House Committee in Port Security Bill

The House has passed the Port Security Bill that includes, as we have learned, the Rep. Leach language (not the Goodlatte, which is slightly more prohibitive) to ban online gaming. The bill is not an expansion of the Wire Act, but MAY contain provisions that could be applied against online poker players--and get rid of your ability to use firepay and neteller. 

So how does Port Security relate to Internet gambling?

It doesn't. In fact, while the bill helps bolster Port Security, it ignores increasing funding security for rail or transit. So essentially Internet gambling is a larger threat to national security than potential acts of terror against rail and transit.

R-Loretta Sanchez, a Democrat from California, said:

"If you had time to stick Internet gambling in our Port Bill...then you had time to make our country safer...but the bill doesn't fund rail or transit, just Port. Who's responsible for not having done the right thing?"

Not Bill Frist or the Republican leadership in Congress, that's for sure.

The bill is generally supported by Democrats, so Republicans are using it as an opportunity to advance less popular agenda items. According to Jim Manley, spokesman for Senate Democrat leader Harry Reid, “[Republicans are] using it as a dumping ground” for bills that couldn't pass on their own.

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eBay Wants You Arrested For Playing Online Poker

Ebayofc_1In a "what the fuck" move but it all makes sense for an inept, greedy monopoly, online auction behemoth eBay has thrown its support behind Chairman Mao Goodlatte's bill (H.R.4411) to ban Internet gambling, which passed yesterday in the House by a vote of 317 to 93.

Even more shocking though is that eBay wants to go further than Kim Jong-bob's legislation and have online gamblers prosecuted. Yes, eBay apparently wants you arrested for playing online poker.

Why would an online site which owns PayPal support congressional regulation of online activity and go as far as wanting law enforcement officials to monitor everyone's online activity, including tracking IP addresses?

Continue reading "eBay Wants You Arrested For Playing Online Poker" »

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Win Your WSOP Seat: 6/15, 9PM, Noble Poker

It’s on. Tomorrow night. Let's go.

The good folks at Noble Poker have set up our Wicked Chops Poker WSOP Qualifier.  Here are the details:

What: Wicked Chops Poker WSOP Qualifier for Event #44 or #45 ($1,000 buy-in) or main event 1-table satellite.
When: Wednesday, June 15, 9pm (EST)
Where: Noble Poker (click on any of the Noble Poker links to register, and take advantage of their great sign-up bonus deals).
How Much: $30+3.

So click on a Noble Poker icon (below) now to download the software and register. 

If you encounter any problems depositing money or locating the tournament, click the customer support button.  Noble has very good support and will instantly respond to you.

Be sure to give yourself enough time to download, install, and deposit (it doesn't take long, but no need to go down to the wire). You can deposit money via credit cards, Firepay, Netteller, or a number of other options. 

You can locate our game under the Tournaments section.  The game name is: WCP WSOP Q #1.  The password is: 76off.

Be sure to register early, as participation is capped for this event.  The earnings will be paid directly into your account, and we will then help you register for the WSOP event of your choice (highly recommended, as those events will also be capped).  2nd place will receive what ever money is left over after the winner gets his share ($1,050).  If you have any questions, email us at [email protected]

This event is open to all Wicked Chops Poker readers and players.  Again, registration is capped, so sign up early.  See you at the virtual table and good luck.

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Girls on the Rail at 2008 WSOP


    Our photog at the 2008 WSOP is having a hard time focusing his lens on the pros at the table. We like him for that. Check out girls on the rail here.

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